digitizing

Hi guys.Monday, a holiday in the US… so I’m not at work.

Why, then, am I sitting here working?  I’ll tell you why, because it’s annual review time.

And, that’s what I did all morning, review stuff.  Sufficiently frustrated, and not sufficiently self-flagellated, I chose to take an afternoon break from reviews and do our taxes instead.  Much frustration and a few raised-voice exchanges about receipts with Sharaun later I’d completed at least one arduous annual tribulation today.  Tomorrow work will be about finishing up the other, and getting all reviews taken care of.  I spend so much dang time on the things… demanding a level of perfection in writing nothing like sounds familiar has ever seen.  Get it… it was knock on my writing here…

The other day Sharaun showed me some old scanned-in images one of her new Facebook friends had posted on the internet.  Her new Facebook friend being an old real-world friend, the pictures were of them together back in their youth.  Seeing them made me smile, and also made me think about how neat it would be to have the old family pictures in digital form.  The only real way we look at and/or use pictures now is on the computer, and I think it’d be so neat to have “forever” copies of those old printed images stored digitally for generations to come.

So, I asked my Pop if he’d be willing to ship down all our old family photo albums.  Not wanting to scan in what could potentially be thousands of pictures one-by-one, I instead found a reputable (well-reviewed, at least) place to ship them off to where they’ll be bulk-scanned for pennies a print in no time at all.  If and when I get the albums, I plan to go through them, put the good ones into logical bundles, and ship them off in bulk.  When the resultant DVDs come back I’ll look through and post some of the better ones here after touching them up a bit (the place just does raw scanning, no post-processing).

Could be a fun thing to do, I think.  I’m looking forward to flipping through some photos Pop… so get them in the mail, OK?

Moving on, a quick note about Sunday.  After church we joined friends for a BBQ in the rain and some Daytona 500 watching.  Was  great time, but towards the end of the day Keaton started making more-than-regular trips to the potty – and her #2s became less and less, ahem, “solid.”  Fearing more of the same, we left the get-together a bit early and retired home.  Good thing too, once at home we played around for a while until it was Keaton’s bedtime.  Once she was down I headed to the gym, and upon returning found Keaton out of bed and in a freshly-run bath and Sharaun washing puke out of her bedsheets.

Poor girl.  She lost her stomach another time that night, and Sharaun and I were both by her side to see her through it.  Breaks my heart to see how much it scares and frustrates her; she just stands and wails between heaves, shaking her hands in protest and asking to be held.  I can remember how scary it used to be to get sick, the fact that’s it’s totally beyond your control, the overall awfulness of it all, and the added bonus that you can’t breathe while it’s happening.  She took it like a champ though, and never did develop a fever or any other symptoms.  Monday she was fresh as a daisy and had her regular appetite, so I guess it was something she ate.

Let’s hope, at least.

Goodnight folks.  Wish me a better week writing, OK?

our resident baglady

Broke or broken.

Wednesday already.

Good because we’re speeding towards the weekend… not so good because I’m quite behind at work.  It’s review time again, and frequent readers know all about my thoughts come annual review.  So, instead of taking my time tonight to finish them… I’m going to write instead.

Have I told you guys that we’ve been having a hard time throwing things away lately?  Yeah, we totally have.

Why?

Because Keaton, out of a strong sense of environmental responsibility, or perhaps an inability to “let go,” has become our very own little garbage/not-garbage filter.  Whatever refuse finds itself atop the trash resting in the bin becomes something for her to potentially reclaim. I might have an easier time understanding this were the things she salvages broken toys – but most of the time it’s just trash; garbage plain and simple.

Like the busted umbrella I had tried to tuck under some papers in the garage trash bin, which we passed by on the way into the house the other day.

“Heyyyyyy, Daddy!!”

“Yes?”

“Look, there’s my umbrella in the trash!  That’s not trash!”

“That umbrella is broken baby, it doesn’t open right anymore.”

“But, but yes it does!  I need to get my umbrella out of the trash!”

“No, Daddy needs to throw that umbrella away.  We’ll get a better umbrella later, OK?”

I got lucky that time, as we actually had the conversation and I “won.”  Most of the time, things are “rescued” from the garbage without our knowledge.

A cracked piece of tupperware that’s been missing its lid for years will mysteriously appear in the living room full of crayons, despite me having thrown it away in the bin under the sink the day before.  An old white t-shirt of mine with yellow deodorant-encrusted armpits will suddenly adorn one of the dolls, re -purposed as a beautiful “princess gown” and now more important than life itself and thus completely invaluable and unquestionably not trash.  Good luck throwing away Kia’s dress, y’all.

Now, I have thought about the motivation behind this recent phenomenon, learning, I like to think, a little from the whole locked-door/bedtime thing we went through a little ways back that there are often “hidden” drivers behind behaviors.  Maybe, just maybe, this is grown from what we’ve dubbed the “Sunday School junk” thing.

Specifically the fact that, after church on Sundays, Keaton brings home at least one piece of “artwork” or “craft” she’s done in her little classes.  While these have some immediate value as her own creations, and something she and we can be proud of, their appreciation vs. time curve dips near asymptotically as you move right on the X-axis.  And so, by the time the drive home after church is over, they’ve become just a blob of half-scribbled-on construction paper, glitter, cottonballs, and Elmer’s glue.  In other words, what was an hour ago a deeply meaningful “project” is now a prime candidate for the trash: i.e. it’s garbage.

So, we toss it and hope she doesn’t notice.  Oh but she always notices.  Always.

“Hey Daddy!!  That’s my plate-face from church in the trash!!”

“Ohh.. yeeeaahhhh… how’d that get in there?!”

So maybe she’s just accustomed to us throwing out her cherished creations, and being wary of our ability to distinguish genius from garbage has decided we might need some assistance figuring out what should stay and what should go.  Or, perhaps her garbage man fascination is simply escalating to the next predictable levels… and we should actually be fostering her trash-sifting abilities.  Or, maybe she just likes garbage.

Whatever the reason, with her assistance we’ve managed to recover many an important and irreplaceable item: One brown shoe from when she was a year old, its partner missing for months; empty bottles which formerly contained water, since she can “take them to the gym” when she “exercises,” and even the three stale Goldfish in the bottom of the months-old box.  She leaves no potential treasure undiscovered… that’s for sure.

Anyway… next time you’re over please don’t mind the broken umbrella in the corner, the playroom cache of empty water bottles, or my stank old undershirt wrapped around Kia.  It’s just our baglady daughter and her “things.”

Should I be doubly concerned that she talks to the cat?

Goodnight.

are you lame, lifts and lass?

Nips, nips, nips.Hey Tuesday.

Turns out I set the automatic-publish date on Monday’s entry for last Thursday, so chances are you didn’t catch yesterday’s entry (as it was mistakenly buried back amongst last week’s noise).  So, I’ve fixed that and it’s now where it should be, which is yesterday.

I wrote a lot today, and I don’t even know if it’s a good read.  Somehow I think not.  Enjoy.

As a kid growing up, my interests bounced around a lot. I like to think I was “well rounded,” but who am I to say. As my likes went, I think back on them and naturally separate things into the tangible and the conceptual. For the tangible, I was into the classic nerd items: electronics kits, model rockets, Mad Magazine, fire, Garbage Pail Kids, girls, dinosaurs; all standard fair. And, conceptually I leaned towards things mysterious, supernatural, and occult: UFOs, spontaneous combustion, Egyptian pyramids, magic, etc. For the purpose of this setup paragraph, I want to focus on the conceptual part.

Now, not to say this was all I was into… I liked all manner of “regular” kid stuff (He Man, smashing up Hot Wheels, wrestling, you know the drill), but there definitely was a period where “unsolved mysteries” were my thing. I think this carried over into my adult life quite a bit. I still enjoy a good 48 Hours Mystery, am still intrigued by the occult and all manner of mysticism, and love a good puzzle. There’s evidence of these predilections even here on sounds familiar in my writings about spiritual alchemy, religion, serial killers, and the like.

The point of the preceding, because I feel like I’m taking a little too long getting around to one, is that, by the time the events of the next paragraph took place I was perfectly mentally receptive – that is: The pump had been primed and I ate this stuff for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

So then – Sometime back around the good old 7th grade, a year where a young man learns much of what he’ll ever know of different slang terms for sexual acts (in addition to a little algebra and earth science), a dear friend of mine introduced me to a book called Big Secrets. Checked out from our local library, the bright primary yellow cover looked interesting enough – but once I dived into the pages I was hooked beyond description. The cover purported to reveal all manner of “secrets,” from the recipe for KFC chicken, secret alcohol-serving clubs at Disneyland, to beating a lie-detector test, and how to mark playing cards.

From first page to last page I was fascinated. This was the kind of stuff I thrived on just “knowing.” To feel like I had inside information, especially if that “secret” info gave me some perceived advantage in “life,” or even a funny nugget of wisdom I could use in conversation – I loved that. To be able to bet someone that I could find the fifty states on a $5 bill; or drop word that I could make a bomb from a deck of playing cards… these were the kind of quirky nuggets I filed away in my brain. Big Secrets, then, was a goldmine for me. I read it with vigor, front to back. And, as I approached the last few pages in the book, one chapter away from the very last chapter, it happened. The chapter was called “Secret Messages on Records.”

I read with zeal the notion that recording artists would purposely put hidden messages in their music, by way of recording them, flipping the audio around so as to make it unintelligible, and then integrating that into the music.  In the days of records (that’s “vinyl” for you digital-agers), un-masking these hidden messages was as easy plopping a firm finger onto the disc as it spun and then forcing the turntable to operate in reverse, approximating the right speed to unveil the secret.

Reversed recordings came into prominence when artists began seriously using the recording studio as a virtual instrument, experimenting with sound as never before.  Of course, the Beatles led this charge (didn’t they lead it all, really?) – laying down what most to consider to be the first purposefully backwards song element in John’s guitar solo in “I’m Only Sleeping.”  By the late 60s and into the 70s and on, more artists experimented with the novelty of what had become known as “backmasking.”  Soon it was a common recording term, and backwards messages were sometimes put into records as jokes.

As a quick aside – backmasking really got a lot of attention during the whole “Satanic panic” the US went through back in the late 80s and early 90s (they even put Judas Priest on trial for it!).  Turns out that, because words spoken aloud have phonetic reversals that often sound nothing like the word spoken normally (forwards), you can “hear” all sort of interesting things in backwards music (if you listen hard enough, I suppose).  So, while some backwards messages are surely done with purpose, most of the “scary” ones (i.e., “you should commit suicide,” or “here’s to my sweet Satan”) are just backwards gibberish that may resemble a real-English phrase.

Anyway, Kyle and I became obsessed with hearing everything backwards.  We suddenly wanted to hear all our music backwards, chiefly the songs in the book that we already knew and loved.  Problem was, our music wasn’t on vinyl, and we couldn’t simply drag the turntable backwards to hear the hidden secrets.  So, being industrious young lads, we set about perfecting a way of reversing audio cassettes.  Remember, this is before the whole “digital music” thing, even before computers for that matter.  Nowadays one can just download an MP3, drop it into the free audio programs that come with Windows, and go to Effect|Reverse.  Back in the dark ages of my youth, however, things weren’t quite as simple.

In the end, we had “invented” a hand-cranked mechanical contraption, cobbled together from several dissected blank audio cassettes, a paperclip, and some Scotch tape, whereby one could extract a bit of recorded sound on tape, reel it into a “holding” tape, flip the whole machine, re-attach, and reel the whole thing back into the original cassette.  The labor-intensive process effectively cut out a bit of tape, flipped it upside down (remember, even though audio tapes have two “sides” these are just the two halves of the same surface of magnetic tape, not two physical sides), and then spliced it back into the existing tape.  When the magnetic tape-read head interpreted the sound on the tape from the opposite side it was recorded on, you got a perfect-speed (albeit a bit muddy sounding) backwards version of the audio.

Before long, we’d heard everything backwards. The Beatles, Zeppelin, Floyd.  We were wholesale reversing entire 90min tapes of songs, just to listen and see what might be hiding.  Soon, we began to experiment with recorded-and-reversed sounds of our own.  Our names, names of girls we had crushes on, the alphabet, you name it.  Logically, the next step was to then listen to these recorded sounds in reverse, learn to approximate the gibberish they’d become, and then say that into a microphone and reverse it – all to see how close we could get to “talking backwards.”  You think this is silly, but I still remember how to say several things in reverse: “Ian Ichamore,” “And the lost see ‘Nam,” “Turn me on dead man”… they’re still taking up space in the old noggin to this day.

I can remember eagerly attempting to play the notes to “Mary Had A Little Lamb” in reverse order on the old Casio, seeing if we could get it right when the tape was flipped.  I remember reading passages from the Bible, making all manner of sounds like a foley artist just to see what they’d sound like backwards.  We even drew up detailed user instructions for our little reversal machine, diagramming the flow of audio on a cassette tape and showing precisely how to reverse it with our invention.

Somewhere in this house today, in a shoebox, I have that tape-reversing machine and the handwritten user manual (on graph paper, because it was more official of course).

And with that story, I conclude today’s blog.  Goodnight, web denizens.

everyone knows best

Here I am again.3 o’clock on Sunday afternoon and the clouds in the sky are dark and look heavy with threats of rain.  Some live Wishbone Ash just shuffled up on the iPod and I’m bound to write.

I’m fresh back from the gym and am having trouble stopping the sweat.  The workout is over, my body, the workout is over.  And yeah, I’m still going to that place… still working out, still enjoying it  – and have shed 15lbs since it all started.  It’s encouraging, to say the least, especially so far getting measurable positive results in short-order.  I guess I’m not missing my calories, I mean I don’t feel starved or anything… so that’s a plus.

You know, I’m by no means a gym-rat after my measly not-even-enough-to-establish-a-habit three weeks of working out, but I have learned that one thing is constant: When you tell people you’ve started going to the gym, started working out or eating right in the pursuit of fitness, everyone becomes an expert; everyone knows the best regimen for you.

I know folks mean well, and I appreciate that.  But, in practice, I find myself shying away from mentioning the whole “working out” thing because I’m sure of the interrogation that’ll follow:  “Oh yeah?  How often you going?  You doing weights and cardio?  How many calories you eat per day?”  Now, this line of questioning alone wouldn’t even be that bad, I don’t really mind talking about what I’m doing, about my own personal little thing I’ve worked out and am doing.  No I would mind, except that I can have no 100% right answers for any of the inquiries.

If I’m going every other day in the evenings, I should really look into goings mornings three-days-on two-days-off.  If I’m eating three squares a day, I should actually be targeting six-to-seven smaller meals instead.  If weights on upper and lower body on alternating days, I should really try doing a little of each every time instead of breaking it up.  If I’m keeping my heartrate around the 160s during cardio, I really want to be around 130 (or is it 140, or 150) to get into that “zone” where the pounds will just drip off.

Yeah, well, I just keep to my own thing, thanks.  Maybe later, when I’ve decided I’m truly doing this and I’m not just gonna fail again, I’ll put some more rigor to the process.  For now, I’m just glad I’m getting in there and breathing hard… sloppy or not.

See ya there; I’ll be the dude doing everything wrong.

bringing up the rear

Filling up in here.Friday already?  Awesome.

The other day, Sharaun joined Facebook.

Since then, I’ve been demoted to fourth place.  Keaton, New Kids on the Block, Facebook, and then me, laboring along trying to catch up and bringing up the rear.  That’s how the race is shaping up.

Over the years, I’ve always managed to stay away from the social networking thing.  When MySpace was the jam, I chose to abstain.  When Facebook’s more “college” clean and neat look became so obviously better than MySpace’s “highschool kid” clutter and everyone jumped ship, I kept my distance.  Friendster, no sir.  Bebo, heck no.  And, when every person I’ve ever worked with, all the way back to the skeezy dude who slammed lines on the prep table at Subway when I was 16, asked me to join them on LinkedIn, I made a special e-mail rule to send the requests directly into the bin.  “No thanks,” I thought.  The blog right here has always been enough “putting it out there” for me.

People have come to know of my social networking resistance, and chide me for it.  I’m too good for it, they say.  Too cool.  Think myself above it.  Am just reveling in the “coolness” of being the last holdout.  I’ve heard it all.  I dunno if it’s something like that or not, but I do kinda get a kick of someone asking, with a touch of incredulity, “You’re not on Facebook?”  In fact, people have gone so far as to send me articles about Facebook.  Here’s one of the best: “You Have No Friends. ”  After you read it, I bet you’ll be almost convinced you should join… I was.  Almost.  (Who am I kidding, I’m sure you’re already ‘bookin’ with the others.)

And so it’s come to pass that I, a social networking virgin, have watched my wife lift that pipe to her lips and draw deep – and end up hopelessly addicted from the first hit.  It’s been a measley two days and she’s strung out on the thing like a Facebook junkie.  Each night I get to hear about who she “found” that day, get to share in the rejoice as lost souls from the gradeschool-chum milk cartons in her mind are found alive and well, working in Des Moines for the school district.  Hey, did you hear that awkward skateboarding kid from Bible Camp is a fireman and noted philanthropist in Boston?  Dude, Dylan is a roughneck?  Wonder how he ended up in that line of work.  OMG, Amber is totally into chicks!

I gotta admit, it all looks a bit fun.

Not quite fun enough that I’m compelled to sign up for myself, but there is a certain appeal to seeing pictures of things you remember from the past (Tuesday’s entry, anyone?).  I suppose, now that Sharaun is on, I can kind of peek over her shoulder now and again for my own secondhand-smoke fix.  Can surreptitiously stay caught up on who went to the dentist, who just got a new Jeep, and whose kid is in swimming lessons via the nightly Facebook status reports.  I’m sure soon she’ll put it on her iPhone and I can get updates at any and all times.

So, if you see my lady in and around your Facebook area… can you spraypaint on her fence or whatever and let her know I’m gonna be gone for an hour or so up at the gym and Keaton’s running wild in the backyard?  Thanks; I can’t get her to turn her head from the dang screen.

Goodnight.

haunts

To our city.Work today dragged. Ballin’ the jack for a full eight, broken up by Sharaun and Keaton coming to visit for lunch – which is always nice.

In my youth, I had a long leash. In fact, our little clique used to range far and wide around the modest town we came of age in. During those years, we had several places around town that were “special” to us for one reason or another. Most of these were quiet, tucked-away places, often deep in an undeveloped section of town still overgrown with Florida pine and palmetto. Various things drew us to the woods, but I think foremost of these is the simple, inborn, young-man yen for such places. Perhaps in our blood from generations before us, as places of privacy, shelter, safety, and free from prying eyes (i.e. good for mischief), every kid of twelve or thirteen will, at some point, find themselves having a “place” in the woods. We had plenty.

Something got me thinking about all those places we used to haunt today, and I decided to write a bit about them. Since you can find anything you want on the internet these days, I wondered what might be recorded online for all to see that was related to those sacred places of my youth. Curious to see how they’d changed, or stayed the same, I started plodding through Google… viewing these ghosts of hangouts-past from above and from the ground – and through the miracle of modern technology almost being able to stand in those places again. Before I knew it, the idea took root and I ended up spending way too much time on this thing.

So, introductions over. Come along and take a pictorial tour with me, we can visit those hidden places where the magic happened way back when…

skyviewBack in highschool we used to head here at night to party.  It’s an old abandoned drive-in movie theater, and you can just see the humps/rows where the cars parked to face the screen.  There used to be some old light poles out there too, but no trace of the big screen.  A lot happened at this place… and I’ve written about it more than once here.

RinkerAerial shot of the abandoned cement factory we used to play around at.  That structure to the far center-left of the photo is what we used to call the “groovy barn.”  You can see the long shadows cast by the tall silos just southeast of it.  The main buildings, to the right of the photo and across the railroad tracks, are now being useed for something else…  Read more about our adventures at Rinker right over here.

At the Extension.The end of the road.  A place where even though the pavement ends the kids keep driving, to find somewhere private.  This place was called, fittingly enough, “Barton extension,” and we had tons of good times out here in the dark.  I watched  a bunch of guys pick up a car and flip it into that ditch on the right one night… not sure what the poor dude did to deserve that.

Astro #1The most infamous access road at Astrokalickrama (if that means nothing to you, you can read my badly written memories of the place here).  Just a neighborhood now, but in all honesty I’ve probably never been more scared in my life than I’ve been while walking down this road all alone in the woods.

Astro #2An aerial shot of that little Astro access road from above.  Behind these new houses you can still see the little substation thing in the woods.  Right around that bottom-right house is the concrete drain thing with code.  Wonder if it’s still there…

Astro #3Astro again.  I overlaid the old aerial shot I have on this to see where the rune-covered crushed Volkswagen used to be, turns out it was right in the middle of the dry pond area at the center of the loop of houses.

The quarry.See those two odd-shaped ponds near the bottom, down and to the left of that strange perfect-circle body of water?  Those are old quarry ponds on the outskirts of town.  Way back when, the sites seemed to be abandoned in a hurry, and there were construction trailers and a huge crane just left to rot.  I can almost feel the fear taking over me again as I remember climbing the rusted boom on that forgotten monster, hundreds of feet into the air as the wind whipped our clothes.  Pure adrenalin, pure invincible youth.

5th St.This is 5th Street.  It was less fancy back when we frequented it, but it was our favorite beach haunt.  We’d drive here with the girls and a bottle of Boone’s, and let the hormones and cheap wine decide the night.  There’s stuff that happened here that people still deny ever happened to this day.  Yeah, I’m talking about you.

The Spot.The road that curves through the bottom left corner of this pic was the road Kyle lived on for a few years back in the day.  Every single house at the right of the shot is new, and that entire area used to be as wild and wooded as the thick copse of trees you see dividing the two developed areas.  However, it appear that, to this day, our little “campsite” is still there tucked away deep inside the trees.  See that light spot near the center of the tight trees?  I’ve written about it before

The road ends.This little road just ends… and the thick woods immediately behind it used to be full of fun for us.  Trails where we could ride our bikes and jump little burms, all sorts of interesting discarded items, right down to a moldering old mattress where many a boastful young man bragged about bedding many a loose middle school girl.  I doubt that part was true, but the trees and hollows did provide excellent cover for sneaking a stolen Marlboro or three.

Trails.Aerial shot of the dead-end road from above (about a quarter of the way across from the left near the top is the spot), and you can almost make out the trails winding through the trees behind the rows of houses.  Fun trivia fact, those woods burned more than once under suspicious circumstances.  Fun trivia fact, that large brown structure to the extreme left with the parking lot was the church I ended up going to Sharaun with years after those mysterious fires threatened to destroy it.

The Pits.See the sandy washes meandering through the trees?  We called this place “The Pits” back in the day, and I bet there will be highschool kids drinking malt liquor there this weekend.  I’ve written, in a tangential way, about this place before – as it was the place we asked our fellow Satanists to meet after they “stole forth,” all part of our Satanic Flier prank.

It's home.My old street. This view, walking away from our old house, is burned in my memory forever as the beginning to so many adventures.  A walk to Robin’s house for some tomfoolery; a walk to Kyle’s house for some new tunes; a walk to Desi’s, to Shawn’s; to anywhere.   Sometimes, just a walk to clear my mind.  What a great place to discover who you are.

Well then, See I told you I got a little carried away.  It ended up being a lot of fun, which is the kind of thing that motivates me to write. In the end I left off about six more images because I thought it was just becoming all too much… maybe I’ll revisit the idea one day.  I really do wish I had some pictures of the places from their heyday (or at least our heyday), would be such a neat thing to look back on them as I really remember them.  Anyway, hope you enjoyed it.

And now, it’s time for me to read a little from my books and hit the sack.  Goodnight, love ya.

more than worth it

My thoughts, bud.So yeah… long time no talk.

Sorry about that.  I guess things were busy last week; or, maybe I wasn’t in the mood; or, maybe nothing happened; maybe a mixed bag of reasons.  I mean, I’ve known for a while know the once-a-day thing has been broken.  I took down the calendar I used to display on the sidebar because it looked like a mouth full of rotted teeth, spotty writing here and there represented by a hyperlinked day.  Don’t think me down and out, just go back and read something old… or something else altogether.  I promise I’ll be here for a while to come.  So, let’s write for today.

The sun has been out lately, and, somewhat unbelievably, although we’re in January I note whiffs of warmer weather on the air. To be fair, a California January really isn’t all that cold to begin with, but I actually spent all Saturday outside at a large wake and the weather couldn’t have been better.

Lately I’ve really been considering getting a lawn service. Just basic stuff: mowing, fertilizing and some general landscaping and upkeep.  I know, I can hardly believe I just wrote that.

Honestly, I’m split right down the middle on this. One part of me can hardly believe I’m seriously considering it. I guess because I often enjoy doing the work myself, and have had many a good morning working outside in the dirt. Add to that the fact that the work is not hard, and on the effort vs. reward line plot it’s got a great return on investment. Not to mention the fact that I feel totally bourgeois for even weighing the option, and wince at the imagined barbs my DIY friends would inevitably throw my way.

But, there’s a whole other part of me that feels like I’ve earned the money to buy back my time. And, if I had someone do the “little stuff,” the monotony, I could perhaps focus on the more fun bits of the activity: gardening, tending flowers, etc. (Oh, and yes, I trend more and more towards “old man” every day of my life lately.. “tending flowers”… sheesh.) Anyway, I really am thinking about paying someone to take care of my yard… even though it makes me feel just a little too participatory in our undocumented American caste system… I’ll let ya know.

Switching gears, I want to get all for-real up in your junk.

This weekend I went to the second funeral I’ve ever been to. I suppose you may think that odd, if you’ve been to a great many. Most those of age with me have, and do. I’ve just never had the opportunity; it wasn’t something I really regretted… was sort of glad actually. Not that people in and around my life haven’t left this orb, or that I just don’t “do” funerals, it’s just worked out that way.

The first funeral I ever attended was likely one of the saddest I’ll ever attend, and my heart still breaks for my friends every time I recall it. The service this weekend, however, a three hour roadtrip south of here, was a superb mixture of appropriate sadness, grief, and celebration of a life. Now, I might state that I’d never actually met the deceased, but rather know his son and went to show my support. After leaving that day, though, I felt like I really got a feel for the man’s character. What’s more, I gained a lot of appreciation for my buddy’s character, and a good glimpse at the genesis and catalyst behind who he is today.

Over the past year or so, loss has touched my circle of friends moreso than I can ever recall. I suppose this comes with getting older, and that the last thing I should count on as time marches is a slackening of that inevitable pace. It’s sobering, the thought that as we go on those who’ve already been where we are now are just arriving at that last platform. That the pain of loss has impacted those I love so frequently lately only makes me take note of how Sharaun and I have been spared this so long. My friends are losing parents, those pillars of their lives… I think you can see where I’m going.

Now, no sense fretting, no sense cowering, I’m just ruminating on the circle of it all a bit I suppose

Goodnight y’all… until the next time.