“Hi Keaton! Daddy hit a truck.”

Stupid truckWhen I was in Oklahoma for my Grandfather’s funeral, I sat down for dinner with my family one evening and, awaiting our drinks, pulled out my iPhone to send an e-mail home to Keaton and Sharaun.  I titled the message, “Hi Keaton!  Daddy hit a truck.”  I typed, “I love and miss you and Mommy” in the body, attached a picture, and hit send.

Yeah, I hit a big ol’ delivery truck.

Earlier that day my I drove my brother and I over to my parents hotel (which, amazingly for middle-of-nowhere Oklahoma, was booked the entire weekend – forcing us into a different hotel just across the highway).  We were meeting up to head down the road a piece to the Indian (Native American?) casino – to blow off some steam and get some time away from all the “business” of the visit.  After heading up to their room to fetch them, we all climbed into my rented Mazda 5 and readied for the trip.

I started the car and glanced in the rearview mirror: all clear.  Then I fiddled with the iPhone setup, plugging in the concoction of cables I carry in my laptop bag at all times – just to be sure I can interface my iThings with whatever audio system I may encounter (rental cars, hotel stereos, etc.).  I got everything hooked up and pushed “go” on the Pandora Radio app (I put it on the Grateful Dead station, since a nice noodling road tune sounded appealing for the drive).  And, without re-checking the rearview mirror, I put the car in reverse and started away.

Smash!

I looked behind me, fearing I’d hit someone, and all I could see was truck.  Sometime between when I’d originally checked the mirror and when I decided to pull out without checking again – a delivery truck had pulled up behind us so the driver could run into the hotel and drop off packages.  And now, I’d slammed into this inch-thick steel bumpers with the rented Mazda’s plastic fenders.  The Mazda didn’t stand a chance, and a quick look at the delivery truck showed nary a sign of incident.

We laughed, and ultimately headed off the casino.  Didn’t even stay to tell the driver, as our vehicle was rented and his was basically a tank there didn’t seem to be much point.  Dinged up the Mazda pretty good, but nothing a new fender wouldn’t fix (no metal/body damage that I could see).

When I turned in the car at the airport, I filled out an accident report.  For whatever reason, admitting I’d hit-and-run a delivery truck seemed “off” to me, so I wrote that someone backed into me in the hotel parking lot.  I have no idea why I chose to lie about this, when, ultimately, I don’t think fault plays a role when it’s an insured rental, but I did.  Oh, and trust me, Sharaun hasn’t let me live it down either – she was aghast at my fib.

Here’s the picture Keaton got that day:

Look what brown did for me.

Forgive me Hertz, I’m sorry.

All this week, whenever I’m backing up with the family in the (busted) Ford someone smartly warns – “Watch out for delivery trucks!”  Funny stuff, that.

Goodnight.

easter

Hippity.What a fantastic Easter.

The weather was unbeatable when we got home from church, perfect for hiding some eggs around the backyard and letting Keaton loose to hunt for them.  She did great; I guess three years old is the right age for really looking for eggs instead of just wandering around waiting for someone to point them out.  Was a great time.  Check out some images from the hoopla at the bottom of this post.

After Keaton’s nap we joined some friends for a big Easter get-together at a local park.  There was plenty of food, fun games, and a big grassy hill for the kids to roll down over and over and over again.  Grammy and Grandpa of course joined us for the food and fun – they’ve got one more day in town before their short flight back north again.

And, in just a couple weeks we’ll be packing up for a week in Aruba.  I cannot wait.  For real, I can’t.  Not because work has been particularly taxing lately (although it has, actually); and not because I feel like I haven’t had any “downtime” either (because, I have, here and there) – but moreso because I’m looking forward to spending some time with the family “just us.”  Additionally, I think it’ll be a great time having Sharaun’s folks join us for the week.  Yep, some family time is just what the doctor ordered.

OK, I’m outta here.  Some pictures for you:

Goodnight.

sharaun can win anything

Winner winner.Tuesday and, after a hard-fought Monday at work spent trying to catch up from the two days missed last week, I plan to put in another blitz for 5pm (or 6pm… or 6:30pm… or 7pm).

I’ve mentioned before on the ol’ bloggy-blog-blog about my wife’s luck when it comes to radio call-in contests.  Over the years, she’s managed to win just about whatever she sets her mind on winning (and not just as a stay-at-home mom either, her streak extends well back to her pre-Keaton working days).

At various times she’s won an Xbox, an iPod, shopping sprees, and too many concert tickets to list.  I’ve also mentioned before her predilection (deviance?) for “teenie bopper” music.  Mmmm, yes… that’s right.  Despite her clear advancement into her thirties, she’s remained a staunch Top 40 listener, and holds in high regard some of the more “bubblegum” manufactured pop artists of the current week.  It’s OK, I’ve come to terms with this… sorta.

I’ll assume you’ve read the two linked blogs above, and just start with my homecoming from work today: It’s 6:45pm and I walk through the door.

“I don’t have much time,” Sharaun says, “I’m sorry.  You’re dinner is on the table and there’s a salad made for you in the fridge.”  Now, I’m pretty frazzled from a busy day, but I’m also as hungry as a post-hibernation bear and decide a waiting dinner is pretty nice for having just crossed the threshold.  I give her a quick kiss and “hello” and sit down to eat.

A few bites in, I turn to her, she’s now sitting at the computer.  “What are you doing, anyway?,” I ask around bites of homemade flatbread pizza (she can make it where it’s so low calorie I almost burn it off entirely just chewing and digesting). “I’m waiting to buy New Kids on the Block 5-star tickets,” she replies.  I sigh silently to myself.  No, I don’t “condone” the spending of hundreds of dollars on the New Kids on the Block, but then again, my “non-condoning” means little when I deliver it with a “but go ahead and do it if your conscience can stand it” smile.  Anyway, God knows what I’ve wasted hundreds of dollars on in the past…

But really, as an aside, these guys have to fade back into obscurity soon… I can’t continue to finance their reunion; it has to end.  I swear, the day they re-break-up I’ll celebrate our savings as fervently as Sharaun did they day they reunited.  Hurry up guys, the nostalgia can only last as long as us husbands feel charitable.

As she sits there, frantically putting in her credit card info after clicking what I can only assume was a button marked: Buy Insanely Overpriced Tickets Now!, she’s also got the radio on in the living room.  See, not only do the New Kids tickets go on sale at 7pm, the radio is giving away tickets to the Britney Spears show this weekend.  In fact, the radio has been giving away tickets to the Britney Spears show several times a day for the past couple days, and Sharaun’s been trying to win them now for about two days.

The contest goes like this: The radio plays itty-bitty snippets of Britney Spears songs all munged together, in some seamless mess of song pieces, and then gives away tickets to caller 107 provided they can name all the tunes correctly.  Earlier last week she asked me to show her how to record things on her iPhone, so she could capture the song snippets for later analysis.  Yes, I showed her.  Then, as the days wore on and she didn’t win, the radio amped up the contest by reversing some of the songs in the mangled mashup.  When this happened, Sharaun asked me if there was any “nerd” way to figure out what the backwards songs are. (Not sure why she came to me for the nerd-consult, actually.)

Since I have some experience with things-backward, I replied in the affirmative: “Sure, I can reverse the recording for you.”  And so she mailed me an AIFF file at work, I flipped the audio and mailed it back, and she set about decoding.  Around 3pm she IM’d me to exclaim she was 99% sure she’d figured out the tracks.  Understandably, I shared her elation and dropped all my important work-related business to jump up and down in my cube and shriek with her over the phone for a bit (this is sarcasm, for those wondering).  Sigh… I work in a cube while my wife deciphers Britney Spears songs to win radio contests…

Anyway, it’s 7pm and the radio says it’s time to win Britney tickets.  I hear the quick garble of drum-machine thick songs come from the living room, and ask Sharaun, who is quite preoccupied with buying her New Kids tickets, if I should call for her.  Of course I should.  Except, I’m not really into it… I’m eating my flatbread pizza and trying to get Keaton to eat her dinner and just overall not caring.  About ten calls into it I realize I’ve fat-fingered the number she told me and I’ve been calling the wrong place.  Frustrated, and noting she’s now apparently done celebrating her New Kids cash-flush, I hand her her phone.  She asks for mine as well, and she sets about dialing the station in turns from each.

And yes, you know she won.  She always wins.

[audio:sharaunwins.mp3]
Listen to Sharaun win right here.

Thanks Erik for the text: “The radio says you’re a nerd.”  Yes, that was Keaton you can hear in the background shouting, “Are you talking to Gracie’s mommy?!  Are you talking to Gracie’s mommy?!”  Gracie is a good friend of Keaton, her mommy, Michelle, is who Sharaun is sharing her radio-spoils with – hence the, “Michelle we got it!” comment.

I just thought it was a fun story, and I had the audio to make it all media-rich.  Deal with it.

Goodnight.

like a wrung-out rag

Looking back at Grandpa's resting place.Back from Oklahoma and the early flight and past stressful days saw me sleep straight through some gorgeous windows-open sunny Northern Californian weather this afternoon.

Grandpa’s funeral was an experience; to be sure.

It really was something otherworldy.  Partly I think because of locale: the middle of America is much different from the west coast; and partly because of the fact that my folks, my brother, and a cousin were the only blood-family present.  That’s not to say Grandpa didn’t fill out the little mausoleum  where they held the services with friends and acquaintances, but the combined feelings of being among a different kind of America and being family yet likely the least close to the man we’d came to pay tribute to had me feeling a little bit like an explorer from another planet; misplaced.

On top of all of this there was tension, doubt, grief.  I returned home today and realized I felt like a wrung-out dishrag; like a spring that’s been coiled and is finally getting to relax.  I guess I didn’t realize it while we were all there, but there was a lot to keep my mind busy and a lot of physical hither-and-thither too.

Grandpa’s viewing was the first I’d ever been to.  In fact, this is the first funeral for a blood-relative I’ve ever attended.  I either lost my other grandparents when I was too young, or they had no services.  The viewing was held at a brown-brick funeral home in the central Oklahoma countryside.  A pretty building, all angles and lines, set amongst the scrub just off the road.  As we walked in a pale overweight man greeted us.  Experienced with grief, he was as sober as any man could have been – and I think welcomed us.

Mom and Dad had already been, but John and I had not. They led us around the corner into a room with several smaller rooms opening from multiple doors around the perimeter.  I walked past the first door and caught a quick glimpse of the gentleman in repose the room: A flag-draped coffin and a stark white face flashed by.  Each little side room had the deceased’s name on a plaque near the doorway.

We passed into my Grandfather’s room and there he was: Peaceful, eyes closed and hands clasped, he looked thinner than when I last saw him and he was clean-shaven.  His head cocked slightly to the side and the smallest hint of a smile on his thin lips.  His ears were just as big as I remembered them, and seeing his face brought instant recognition.  He was in a nice gray suit and tie, and his skin looked clean and tight, although not so tight as to look unnatural.   In my immediate reaction, a huge smile split my face.

Not a normal smile; I immediately recognized it as the same kind of sad-proud smile I’ve experienced with Keaton before.  It may sound silly to relate the two, but I remember when Santa broke Keaton’s little heart this past year in Florida, and I was so sad for her, yet so proud of her for trying to play it tough – that I can remember smiling this same sympathetic smile.  I was happy to see Grandpa, and I was sad to see Grandpa.  I was proud of Grandpa’s life, and I was sad to have it be over.  It was that kind of smile.

I walked close to the casket and looked at him for a bit, trying to remember some of the times we’d spent together.  I didn’t have much, but I could recall his voice the last time Sharaun and I went to visit him.  As the family began to leave, I stayed in the room an extra minute and said a little prayer of  my own; something to say goodbye.

The service itself was the next day.  Everyone crammed into a little mausoleum near the center of the cemetery.  The plaster on the walls was shedding and the place had the smell of age.  Grandpa’s coffin was arranged in the corner and a few rows of folding chairs sat facing it.  The minister had met Grandpa through a hospice ministry program he runs, and had come to visit with him over the past year or so.  He stood behind the casket.  One of Grandpa’s hospice nurses sat back there too, in her scrubs.

The service was simple and nice.  We sat in the front row.  The nurse had wanted to sing for Grandpa.  At a couple points during the service she sang hymns, acapella; she had a gorgeous voice.  The minister mentioned conversations he’d had with Grandpa about God and Heaven and salvation – all things I’d have loved to had an opportunity to talk to him about myself.  Too bad.  Age always imparts such keen views on things.  He read a few passages.  My brother got up to speak, he did a great job… just a short funny story about a roadtrip he’d taken with Grandpa.  The folks who took care of him spoke; heartfelt and short.

At the end they asked my brother and I if we could lend a hand lifting the coffin onto the hoist that would allow them to put Grandpa in the wall.  He’d share a slot with his wife, her ashes already in the casket alongside him.  As I lifted my Grandfather’s body over my shoulder and positioned him to be sealed in the wall behind a white marble marker, I could only think about how light the casket seemed.  Before we all left I said “goodbye” one last time.

And that, along with a few hours at the blackjack table on Indian land – to blow off some steam, was the extent of the long weekend.

It’s good to be back home.

goodbye grandpa

My Dad’s dad passed away early Wednesday morning; the last of my living grandparents.

I’m on my way to be with Mom, Dad, and my bro for the services.

I never was particularly close to my Grandpa.  He lived in a different state from our family for my entire life; counting the times I can remember spending with him requires just barely more than the fingers on both hands; and I haven’t seen him since Sharaun and I drove to CA from FL some nine years ago.

Still, I expect the trip to be an emotional one.

Goodbye Grandpa.

Goodnight.  Bye Grandpa.

showing the signs of age

Flat busted.At a managerial bootcamp thing I went to once upon a time, we had a speaker there who’d written a book called The Go Point. The subject of this book was, if I remember correctly – the hangover that morning was a bit persistent – decisive decision making, and when to be decisive whilst making decisions (or some such manager-speak nonsense).

I mention this now because I, my friends, am at a crossroads – and am facing a “go point” of my own.

It’s the Ford; the Ford is dying.

Twelve years old and nine of those spent in the valued service of our family and she’s on her last legs. 160,000 miles and she’s tired; aching even. I can elaborate:

  • Both the rear passenger and driver’s door (on the driver’s side) no longer open. The electronic locks are broken, the inside and outside handles are broken, and the key won’t work (since all it does is try to engage the electronic mechanism anyway, I suspect). I’m currently climbing over the center console to enter and exit from the front passenger side. This Dukes of Hazzard use-model may sound cool, but it’s ultimately just annoying.
  • The drive’s captain chair electricals (move forward and back, tilt, and recline) are broken. You can move it forward and back, but cannot tilt the chair nor seat-back. In fact, the entire control part is hanging off the chair by the wires. In addition, the seat itself has been broken where the back meats the bottom, and a large metal contraption has been exposed – this metal thing digs into the fleshy bit of my bum right a the top of my buttcrack with a vengeance.
  • In addition to the chair, other elements of the interior have given up: The cupholder thing in the back is long gone, felled by a broken catch and lost spring. The center console lid is sun-rotted and exploded to reveal the foam padding beneath. The seatbelts don’t retract on their own anymore… but thankfully work in general.
  • Something larger is wrong with the electronics, I suspect. Just Sunday I witnessed the oil pressure gauge needle peg frantically back and forth between top and bottom, and I know there’s a short somewhere in the captain’s chair electricals.
  • The rear wiper motor, or the wiring that carries signals from the front panel back to the motor, is dead. Annoying when it rains, but I doubt we’ll get rain here for another seven months now – so not paramount in terms of importance.
  • There are cracks in both exhaust manifolds, a common problem with the ’97 Explorers and their cheaped-out aluminum manifolds. Years ago I purchased two spanking new after-market steel manifolds with plans to replace the cracked ones. Those are still in the boxes they shipped from Ebay in; could be rocks in there for all I know. While this defect may impact the “punch” I get while accelerating (doubtful), the only real issue here is the “tick-tick-tick” of a small exhaust leak.
  • The front suspension is creaky, I don’t know enough about cars to say if this is super-bad or just something that needs lubrication/calibration/etc.
  • The car itself is in a general state of disrepair, mostly because I’ve been slowly giving up on her. Tires need rotating and perhaps replacing, oil needs changing, the brakes are whining that they’re in need of new pads, the front wipers are worn down to uselessness, the iPod cable I ran to the stereo is broken inside, and I get intermittent sound from the left side of the audio when it’s not positioned right, etc. All easy fixes, but all things which wear on my brain when thinking about the rattletrap the Ford has become.

Yup.  That’s about it I think… showing the signs of age.  So, this brings my to my “go point,” to buy or not to buy.

Here’s the quandary:  Provided the Ford doesn’t explode, I think I can fix and maintain her for about $2500 this year. That estimate includes tires, regular maintenance like brakes and oil (done myself), and fixing a few of the things above so that the vehicle is usable (locks, iPod, etc.).  Or, I could trade this “wasted” cost for a monthly payment on a new or used car.  This is my decision, this is where I stand.

Years ago, I tooled our financial plan to provide for an “even trade” in loans: Payoff the college loans and get a new car loan for the Ford’s successor.  Let’s not talk about how frustrating it is to me that we’re still paying off college having graduated some ten years ago – but the plan thus far has been executed to a tee and those should be done and buried by Q4 this year (look at me with the finance-speak).  So, this whole new car thing is about six months too early for the plan.

The plan; and so it goes.

Anyway, over the past month I’ve been running numbers and doing research.  As to the ultimate decision though, I’m still leaning away from a near-term purchase.  I’m lucky in that I have smart friends with whom I can seek counsel.  Some counsel a new car, some counsel a less materialist approach (you know who you are, friends).  I take both inputs to heart and land somewhere in the middle: A deadlock.  Ultimately, however, I shy away from financing anything… financing is the devil to me… I want to buy everything with cash (as unrealistic as that may be, at times).

But, as of tonight I’ve decided that, for now, I’m giving myself a “cooling off” period before doing anything rash.  I’ll fix the door locks on the Ford, hope the duct-tape and string hold for another six months or so, and at the same time continue laying away funds for a downpayment and narrowing down the field of American vehicles I might like to someday drive.  This way I get to pay off the college loans this year, on schedule… and eventually I’ll get to drive something new (or at least new to me).

Watch, tomorrow I’ll be writing about the new car I bought.  Will me luck, OK?  Goodnight.

still fighting the writing

Prodigous.Happy new week, internet peoples.  I had a splendid weekend.  Sorry most of these paragraphs are pretty standalone… I’m still fighting the writing a bit, so I didn’t really craft anything to well-flowing.

Saturday was 80° and sunny and we all took a walk down to a big public event in the city.  A long walk in the bright sunshine was just what the doctor ordered to get me in the Springtime mood.  Later that day I finished hooking up the new backyard speakers.  You don’t know how long I’ve wanted a decent, permanent set of speakers out back… it may sound small but it’s been something I’ve had on the to-do list for years now.  Grilled some burgers that night and enjoyed them for the first time.

Sunday around 5pm Sharaun said she was headed out to “pick up something” for dinner.  Lately though, I’ve been encouraging her to instead review our vast stores and make something from stuff we already have.  I’ve always thought that we keep a bit too much food on-hand and likely even end up double-purchasing things before our previous reserves are expended.  So, instead, I went through the cupboard, fridge and freezer and suggested chicken breasts with saffron rice and steamed broccoli.  After poking around, I figure, should zombies flood the streets tonight, we could likely survive off our holdings for a month or more.  Seriously, we have that much.

Ages ago, I set the DVR to record Disney movies when they’re played.  This morning I noticed that Mulan was in the list of recordings so I decided to have an impromptu “movie night” with Sharaun and Keaton.  Keaton’s really come to love movie nights.  I always try and do something special.  We dim the lights, I’ll make popcorn or some other snack and bring it to the girls.  Tonight I brought a candle out to the coffee table and we roasted marshmallows on skewers for S’Mores.  Funny thing roasting marshmallows over a candle on the coffee table, but Keaton loved it.  (Mulan was pretty good too, I’d never seen it.)  Another successful movie night.

OK before I go, I’ll relay a quick one from today.

We drove separate to church this morning because Sharaun had a meeting afterward.  I took Keaton home, made us both lunch, played with her in the tent, and got her down for her nap.  After her lunch, Keaton hopped down and informed me  that she had to go potty.  Still finishing my leftovers I wished her well and told her to holler if she needed help.  A few minutes later, a clarion call from the water closet: “Daddy!!  I need help.  I went poo-poo with pee-pee.”  This is my cue to come in and do the, ahem, Daddy part of a Keaton doo-doo.

When I get into the bathroom, she’s still sitting on the pot, legs spread wide, and her head bent down almost to her knees.  She’s staring down into the toilet bowl through her legs and, her voice muted and ringing against the porcelain, she says, “Hey Dad, look at this five-dollar footlong I made!”  She looked up with a cheeky grin just in time to see me chuckle.

I didn’t even teach her that.  (If you must know, she learned it from our friend Natalie in Florida.  Bravo on the turn of phrase there, Nat.)  That is so my girl, though.

Goodnight folks.