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wasps in the grass


Slow night, spent most of my time and energy making a new short film. Starring Keaton, this one showcases her relatively newfound vocal talents. Go ahead and give it a good watchin’, you know you want to. (Sharaun liked this one so much she urged me to submit it to YouTube, so I could maybe… win money or something…)

Keeping in somewhat of a theme I’ve got going lately, I stumbled on this middle east related link today: an illustrated/annotated “who hates who” matrix of middle east countries/affiliations and other world powers. Good for quick reference when dealing with stories about the incredibly complex and history-rooted relationships over there.

I mentioned yesterday that I mowed the lawn this past weekend, and that was true. What I left out were the gory details of the event. I mowed the lawn at 1pm in the afternoon, at that time wunderground.com said the temperature in Whereilive, CA was 102°. That’s hot. About halfway through the job I took off my shirt in an attempt to cool down (only in the backyard, I’ve not become comfortable enough with my hairy back to go shirtless out front yet). Any outside laborer or nomadic desert dweller will tell you that, in the obscene heat and burning sun, clothes are your friend – and taking them off only makes things worse. But, I didn’t care. Pushing that mower around, baking and sweating, my core temperature must’ve been up there. By the time I was done, I was red-cheeked and covered in sweat. Coming inside I felt like a hot coal, my insides radiating heat, only time and a cool shower able to help my finally get comfortable. Yeah, the sacrifices I make for that lawn…

By the way, did you know that wasps like to hide in long, cool grass? And, furthermore, mowing over them sends them up in angry clouds by the hundreds? As if the heat wasn’t enough, I was fleeing wasps the whole time.

That’s it for today, until tomorrow my friends. Love ya.

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good for the goose


8:30pm Sunday and I just put Keaton down while Sharaun headed to Wal Mart. On a lark, I looked up “homemade brownie recipes” online, and discovered we had all the makings for a “from scratch” fudge-brownie recipe. So, not only did I change the baby and put her down, I’ve got some baking in the oven as well. After that’s done, I think I’ll scrapbook, darn some socks, and work on my needlepoint. (The joke is me doing many womanly things, if it missed you). Was a good weekend, continuing my spurt of personal productivity. I jigsaw’d the traced wolf-shaped cutouts for this years Halloween prop, mowed the lawn despite baking in the 100°+ heat, and finished putting up the last of the garage organizing leftovers from last weekend. Also managed to mix in a good bit of leisure, playing (and losing) in a pool tournament at a friend’s party, eating some awesome home-cooked Indian food at a Friday dinner with friends, and topping it all off with a swim and BBQ Sunday afternoon. Damn, we truly live a rough life…

Sorry for the long “show and tell” intro, I hate when I do that.

Although this article is over a half a year stale, I read it for the first time last week. It’s the transcript of a phone interview with Noam Chomsky about the United States and its current political situation, but the interviewer touches on other international & domestic issues as well. I found Mr. Chomsky’s comments on the war in Iraq really interesting:

…the first thing that should be done in Iraq is for us to be serious about what’s going on. There is almost no serious discussion, I’m sorry to say, across the spectrum, of the question of withdrawal. The reason for that is that we are under a rigid doctrine in the West, a religious fanaticism, that says we must believe that the United States would have invaded Iraq even if its main product was lettuce and pickles, and the oil resources of the world were in Central Africa. Anyone who doesn’t believe that is condemned as a conspiracy theorist, a Marxist, a madman, or something. Well, you know, if you have three gray cells functioning, you know that that’s perfect nonsense. The U.S. invaded Iraq because it has enormous oil resources, mostly untapped, and it’s right in the heart of the world’s energy system. Which means that if the U.S. manages to control Iraq, it extends enormously its strategic power…

Now, any discussion of withdrawal from Iraq has to at least enter the real world, meaning, at least consider these issues. …We’re not allowed to concede that our leaders have rational imperial interests. We have to assume that they’re good-hearted and bumbling. But they’re not. They’re perfectly sensible. They can understand what anybody else can understand. So the first step in talk about withdrawal is: consider the actual situation, not some dream situation, where Bush is pursuing a vision of democracy or something. If we can enter the real world we can begin to talk about it. And yes, I think there should be withdrawal, but we have to talk about it in the real world and know what the White House is thinking. They’re not willing to live in a dream world.

I wonder if any politician/leader could succeed by speaking as simply and honestly as Chomsky describes above. Instead of talking about “freedom and democracy,” just be straight-up honest with the people and let them know we’re making a strategic and calculated imperialistic gesture for the sake of extending the nation’s power and influence. It would never work, right? But… the funny thing is, when it comes to why we went to Iraq, I don’t think most people “buy” it anyway. Not the “smart” Americans; not the “dumb” Americans. The “dumb” folks are happy we’re over there “kicking some ‘cameljockey’ ass and flexing American muscle,” and think good ol’ boy Bush is secretly in league with them and their ignorant close-minded worldview. The “smart” folks have long since seen proof after proof that the country was mislead into war, and can read through the “threat level Orange” FUD rhetoric anyway.

So, who’s being fooled? Maybe it’s just easier, or more more “civil,” to talk about it in a roundabout language of positivity than to call it by its true colors. Seems somehow less glaringly bad if you can just “dress it up” a bit and not acknowledge the uglier reality.

OK, I’m done there.

In closing, it looks like my brother and I missed robot clones by about twenty years. We should have patented the idea.

Lastly, I uploaded four measly (but good) pictures to Keaton’s gallery, go check ’em out. Goodnight.

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grease up your keyboards


Friday at last! Hallelujah!!

I honestly don’t have much today: an entire paragraph built around one funny thought, some other junk here and here, and two paragraphs built around links. Not much original, I fear. We’ll try to make the best of it though, eh?

Man, stem cells are good for blog comments, huh? I should write about divisive poll-splitting issues all the time. Next week I’m going to write about my opinions on using affirmative action to select condemned pregnant lesbian white women prisoners (with committed illegal immigrant christian life partners) for first an abortion and then subsequent death penalty. Yeah, that should get the comments flowing. Grease up your keyboards, you opinionated mofos… I love to hear from ya.

I know it was BoingBoingized yesterday, but it’s worth posting in my ongoing coverage of the I/L/H (my new shorthand for Israel/Lebanon/Hezbollah) conflict. Some people out there are actually rooting for escalating violence in the Middle East. I imagine these folks sitting in front of CNN cheering on the Israeli rockets with big foam-finger #1 things on their left hand and a bible opened to Revelation in their right. The more natural disasters, stem cell research, rock and roll music, and Middle East violence – the better. C’mon Lord, you’re really planning on taking these idiots?

Way to go Thom Yorke! Thom’s ‘headless solo debut crowned at #2 on its initial Billboard splash, being just barely edged out by some new Now! compilation of greatest hits. When I used to manage a record store in the mall, we sold tons of those Now! albums – people eat it up. Yeah, people love hits. Hits and crappy reality TV talent shows. Anyway, Coolfer had this to say about Thom’s good works:

Yorke’s first solo album, Eraser, is less commercial than would be a Radiohead release, and it was released by XL Recordings (distributed by Warner Music Group’s ADA). So we have a less-than-totally commercial album released by an indie, and it still sold 90,000 in its first week. Digital sales accounted for a sizeable 16% of total sales.

Somebody out there likes them quirky beats and loopy basslines! Go Thom.

Goodnight

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you’ve failed as a firefighter


Wednesday night and I’m having a productive week. I should qualify that: I’m having a productive week personally, but professionally it’s been a complete loss. My head hasn’t been in the game at work, but it’s OK because the environment is currently an unhinged one and I’m not alone.

Let’s do one liners, eh? I know, I know, they’re never really “one line.”

Last night I had a dream that I was trapped in a funhouse hall of mirrors. It was just like all the Scooby Doo and USA Up All Night Horror movies: dim lighting and an endless maze of my own reflection with an evil voice calling out to me from somewhere unseen. Sharaun woke me up because I was making one of those breathy dream-screams in real life (I do that sometimes, I’m a chatty sleeper). What the heck does a dream like that mean?

Noticed that Bush used his presidential veto for the first time this week to shoot down additional funding for stem cell research. I’ll state right up front that I think this is stupid, but rather than try and construct paragraph supporting my opinion I’ll just defer to this outstanding reader comment on the Newsvine coverage of the happening:

Here’s how I view whether an embryo should be considered such a valid life or not:

You are a firefighter, called to the scene of a horrific fire. The fire is in a local in vitro clinic – you put on your mask and rush inside. In the smoke and warmth, you hear a girl crying. You find her, standing next to a refrigerator holding hundreds of frozen embryos. You can only carry one. Which do you take?

The girl of course.

So does this mean that you’ve failed as a firefighter? You have forsaken the lives of potentially hundreds of children for the life of one child.

But when it comes to research, which already has proven more than helpful, suddenly the tables turn, and the embryos at stake are more important than the thousands threatened each year by cancer, Alzheimer’s, spine injuries, and the multitude of other things that stem cell research is working for.

I call BS.

Yeah, and I’ll be right there with you calling BS too.

Found this editorial take on the current Israel/Lebanon/Hezbollah thing I’ve been trying to follow pretty interesting. Although it clearly casts Israel as the bigger aggressor, it actually helped me (make sure and read the comments to for some good counter arguments that help round out the thought for those not passionate enough to have picked sides).

Wanna make your brain hurt? Head over to this site and watch the cool Flash animation that explains how to conceptualize a 4th, 5th, 6th, and on up through 10th dimension. Just click on on the zero at the bottom of the twirly numbers on the right of the page. I’m this close to ordering the book, as the Flash teaser is interesting as crap.

Goodnight.

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y’all couldn’t break me


Tuesday night. Tonight I cleaned the cat’s litterbox, as it had taken to smelling foul. Now, I always clean out the litterbox, but I rarely clean the actual box. I took the whole thing outside, hosed it down and cleaned it with 409 then rinsed it. I hate to say it, but now that we have Keaton I feel the need to have a pet less and less. Not that I don’t like this cat, but I keep thinking about no cat hair, no cat food, and most importantly no animal using the bathroom in our laundry room. I know Sharaun would kill me for suggesting it…

This weekend, while Sharaun and I were cleaning out and organizing the garage, I came across a plaque I’d received in 1983 when I played for an AYSO soccer team as a rough-‘n’-tough six year old goalkeeper. I was terrible at soccer, as I am at any organized sport. Even at my tender age, I could tell that sports were nothing more than flashpoints of self-consciousness and humiliation for me. Born with no natural skills, and skin not tough enough to endure the training to acquire said skills, I gave up sports forever. It was a decision I still rue, as today it makes me feel like I’m lacking in one critical area of dudemanship. Maybe, if I had just stuck with it back then, while my muscles and mind were still malleable, I could’ve learned skills. As it stands now, the thought of organized sports strikes fear into my heart. I can’t swing a bat, I throw like a girl, and I feel like I’m alone on a stage of shame when I stand in a field of any kind. I’ve said before that I positively fear the day my son (who currently doesn’t exist) asks me to teach him to throw and hit, I’ll have to refer him to his athletic mother and retreat back to my computer. Oh… the embarrassment is almost palpable just thinking about it.

Anyway, I took the plaque and brought it to work. Hung it on the fabric wall of my tiny cubicle as a source of mock-pride. At least my season of soccer twenty-three years ago was good for a joke now. With its wooden backing, golden soccerball, and the misspelled team name in brass, my 1983 “Scorpians” soccer plaque is sure to bring a smile. So, to all those parents on the sideline who used to scream at me to “get up!” and “get in the game!” while I was happily sitting in the goal drawing in the dirt with sticks – y’all couldn’t break me.

Finally, in closing: I was kicking around Wikipedia last night and decided to enter in my old hometown in Florida, just to see what they had to say about it. The Wikipedia article contained a link my old burg’s official homepage, and on that homepage I found a link to a Frequently Asked Questions section. Hmmm… I wonder what the town’s most frequently asked questions are? Turns out they’re mostly routine: where can I plant trees, when can I water my lawn, and how do I apply for a building permit. Then I saw this one: “Why do we charge for water that comes out of the sky?” I just had to chuckle at the elementary school phrasing, let’s read it again : “Why do we charge for water that comes out of the sky?” Hahaha, it “comes out of the sky.”

Guys, before I go, I thought I’d tell you a story. Tonight I made one of my first legitimate online music purchases. Ever since I found out today that the band that made my 3rd/2nd favorite album of last year has a new “tour only” EP out there, I just had to hear it. After I consulted the “usual” places and came back empty-handed, I broke down and bought the entire album from galleryac.com. Go me for supporting the artists, or whatever.

Goodnight.

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choke on this silver spoon


Monday night, just got off the phone with Pat, telling him I was about to go outside and pull weeds. Sharaun then walked out the door headed to the gym and, rather than haul the baby monitor outside with me into the 100°+ degree twilight, I decided to save it for another day. Another day on pins and needles at work, where the current climate is all headmen and falling axes. Without going into the whole story about my ongoing flirtation with the breadlines, suffice it to say that things have been a bit stressful and the atmosphere isn’t the most work-conducive. In fact, I don’t think I’ve done a “real” bit of work in three days now – ever since my employer raised the threat level to orange. It seems however, that I have, for now, weathered the storm – once again proving my indispensability. Chance has once again enabled me to grow more undeservedly self-assured and pompous. One day I’ll choke on this silver spoon, it’s a sure thing.

You may notice the “double posting” for today. You’ll see the entry below this one is dedicated to one of this year’s Halloween projects. I intend to document my projects a little better from now on, and will have a static, living post for each where updates will go. Not that you care about this, but it’s just easier for me to document the projects in a living post rather than setup an entirely new dedicated page. Besides, how can I one day hope to get some projects listed on the Monsterlist if I don’t document them properly and publish on the internet?

Today, while cleaning out my My Documents folder at work, I came across a curious Word document called “South Side of the Island.doc.” Not recognizing the file by name, I opened it to investigate. Inside was written only the following:

South Side of the Island

Counting myself (a librarian by former trade), the population of our little island stood at a proud six bodies:

  • Ms. O, who, it was said, was once a fearless sea-captain, and whose house had a mast sprouting from its center, complete with crow’s nest atop.
  • Mr. & Mrs. U, both schoolteachers by former trade. Their grey hair always a little wild, and both of them given to being easily surprised or even skittish.
  • Mr. T, a brilliant scientist and inventor.
  • Mr. H, who was once a police officer. Made a body feel right secure to have a former man of the law nearby.

I read this over and over again, trying to place it. Did I write this? Had I downloaded it or copied/pasted it from somewhere? I quick Google search turned up nothing. I read and reread it, and ever so slowly started remembering… I think I did write this. The date on the file says August of last year; you wouldn’t think my memory would fade that fast – but it seems it has. Maybe I was going to write a story about my #1 topic: an island. I think I was most surprised to realize I’d written it because it actually sounded interesting, and when I thought it was something I’d stumbled on rather than my own craft I actually wished I could read more.

I don’t know what it is about my “work smarter, not harder” post that attracts the whackjob comments, but it sure seems to be accruing them slowly. Check out this doozy and the one below it for an example of what I’m talking about. The other day I thought I might be imagining that the number of “random” comments I get here on sounds familiar was increasing, but with some great out-of-nowhere ones cropping up this week, I think it’s out of the realm of imagination and into the realm of fact. Maybe I’ve penetrated Google deep enough that I’m now getting a “second wave” of search-driven visitors. I say bring ’em on, I gotta believe I’m writing for someone…

I much prefer sitting here listening to music than sitting here watching TV. Let’s face it, I’m rarely sitting here without this laptop in front of me anyway, and listening to something multitasks a lot better with writing than watching something does. Even if Sharaun is home (she’s not now) and the TV is mandatory, I’m usually only listening anyway. The only watching I’m doing right now is the watching of Keaton’s video baby monitor, showing me some flickering, washed out, ghostly-grey bird’s-eye shot of her resting peacefully in her crib. Looking more like a wobbly kinescopic view into some past era than a representation of real-time events, I can barely make out her tiny form in contrast to the other shapeless grainy wiggles. This thing cost $200? It almost works like something I’d consider paying $40 for when you wrap tin foil around the antenna. Wow, that little nothing-sentence turned into a whole paragraph… now if that ain’t God’s bounty then I challenge you to show me what is.

I got more in me, but I’ll call this one done and put it in tomorrow’s so I have to write less then. Brilliant, nay? Goodnight my lovers and haters.

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halloween 2006: baying wolves


Note: This entry is part of my Halloween Projects category. You can see all of my posts documenting my projects by clicking the “Halloween Projects category” link above. You’ll also find images and movies of the projects and their construction in my Halloween Gallery, which can be accessed by links in these posts or directly here.

Welcome to Halloween 2006, friends. Starting this year, I’ve decided to better document the creation and function of the Halloween props/projects I so dearly love to create yearly. I wish I’d done this in year’s past, but in lieu of inventing a time machine to remedy that I’ve tried to tag as many past-project related entries into my new Halloween Projects category (linked above). Beginning this year though, each project will have it’s own entry describing the idea and construction, and hopefully documenting the final working product. Let’s begin then with Project #1 of an ambitious two-project year: Baying Wolves 2006.

Concept:

Credit where credit is due, my friend Kristi came up with this prop concept – and I did some “imagineering” to come up with a proposed implementation. The idea is simple: a faux setting moon with animated wolves baying in silhouette. Picture a ~7ft tall illuminated circle (like a partially set full moon on the horizon) silhouetting a couple wolves whose heads move up and down as piercing howls split the night. Yeah, that’s my best sellup of this prop folks, I’ll let the pictures and effect do the rest of the convincing. First, let’s outline the concept and we’ll get to the numbers and instructions later:

scapture2.jpg

What the visitor will see from the front. This prop is ideally located where you’ll not get many passers-by walking directly to the side or behind the prop (I plan on putting mine very near the fence in my yard). You want the visitor to get a mostly head-on view of this one, and that’s what this concept is supposed to show. The “moon” is just a semi-circle of somewhat sheer fabric (think old sheet) with a “sleeve” sewn around circumference where a piece of PVC pipe will be inserted to frame it.

scapture5.jpg

Here’s my terrible attempt at a 3D representation of the prop. The whole thing is stabilized via a “cross” of 2x4s and an additional “guy-wire” piece of PVC.

scapture3.jpg

An illustration of the base structure, no measurements here – those will come later (remember, these are just my concept drawings).

scapture4.jpg

A side-view of how the actual silhouetting effect will work. The light source will shine on the “moon” from behind, with the mechanical wolves placed just inches from the sheet for maximum effect. The wolves are simply 2D flat cutouts of wolf shapes with motorized heads – more about that to come. If all goes as planned, the wolves block the light and cast wolf-shaped shadows (which will look like silhouettes when viewed from the front) on the sheet. The beauty here is that no great effort need be made to make the wolves any more realistic than being able to cast a believable wolf-shaped shadow.

Well, that’s the basic concept. All I need are a motor, some materials, and some traceable wolf silhouettes. Read on for my documentation of the actual construction.

Implementation & Actuals

Coming soon, stay tuned.

Finished Effect

Coming soon, stay tuned.