Category: general

Where I put something when I’m too lazy to categorize it.

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me agin the bees

Bzzzzzzz....
By the time you’re reading this, I’m no longer in India, but whizzing through the skies bound home. That’s OK though, because through the magic of scheduled posts – I could have entries lined up for weeks (if I could write that much, that is). So, if you don’t mind the Pulp Fiction timeline, here’s something written Thursday in India, which is Wednesday in the US, and posted Friday – figure that out, Tarrantino.

There’s this huge beehive clinging to one of the branches of an immense, sprawling tree just outside my window at the hotel. I’m fascinated by this beehive, I don’t know why. Maybe because it’s easily the biggest beehive I’ve ever seen, I mean, this thing is rockin’ big… like bee Los Angeles or something. When I first saw it, I thought it was just one of those tree-tumor things, a large growth or abnormality in the branch – but upon closer inspection through my camera’s zoom, it was clearly a bee metropolis; a sagging mass of squirming bees, busy doing whatever bees do (humping and making honey?). I don’t know why, but I have the strongest urge to chuck something at this bee city. Every day my hotel room comes stocked with three thick-skinned Indian fruits that resemble oranges or tangerines or something – these, I figure, would make the perfect beehive ICBM.

This morning, on the way down to breakfast, I tried to mentally gauge the distance from the balcony to the hive – just to see if my poor throwing arm may even have a shot at a direct hit, and I convinced myself that, yes, I could hit it if my aim was on. What’s more, the distance is great enough that I think I could upset the bees and still have ample “run away” time before they even knew where the projectile came from. So, I’ve imagined the scenario in my head: A direct hit, and thousands of disturbed bees swarm out in search of vengeance. Meanwhile, I safely retreat back into my room. The only way I’d really do it was if there was someone here to film the event – since one of my chief concerns in life, for whatever reason, is documenting crap like that and posting it to my blog as if people would be interested. Alas, there is no one here to film it, and when I mentioned my fantasy to my wife she didn’t really understand, “stupid” is how I think she chose to describe it. So, in place a super-cool video where I successfully smack a huge Indian beehive with an orange – here’s a picture of a huge Indian beehive:

Stop taunting me!

If you were here with me, you’d understand, right? You’d film me as I hurled fruit at this hospital-visit-waiting-to-happen, right? Yeah, that’s what I thought. If there’s one thing I know, it’s that I’ve managed to surround myself with friends as retarded as I am who would happily watch me put myself in harm’s way for a cheap laugh.

Goodnight.

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bathrooms the size of coffins

Applies to the tech tag, or something.
You’ll have to excuse the terse entries this week – daily writing is competing with travel arrangements and the probably-getting-too-much-love “best of 2005” entry. On the bright side, I think I’m still on track to publish that next week, so it won’t be sucking all my resources. Be ready, it’s bound to include luminary passages of prose unparalleled by any other “best of 2005” list; oh, and it has little pictures of album covers, too. Seriously, wait for it.

In preparation for my trip this weekend, and ultimately to my dismay, I sat down today to review my flight plans. I knew the trip to India wasn’t just a hop, skip, and jump – but I guess I wasn’t really aware of just how abysmal it really was. I began adding up the time: four hours to Chicago, wait an hour and a half for eight more to Frankfurt, wait two and a half more in the terminal for another eight and a half in the air before landing in Bangalore. All told it’s twenty-five hours of travel, not counting the time getting to the airport and awaiting the initial flight. The way back is worse, courtesy of mean headwinds and a tacked on trip to visit my folks in Oregon: twenty-eight hours. That’s a lot of flying and sitting and pooping in bathrooms the size of coffins.

Ever since I decided to kill our landline phone, my DirecTV TiVo has been nagging me daily with a warning that it’s not made its daily call in X days. Back when I was researching adding an extra hard drive to my TiVo, I remember reading about a way to hack the thing to work wirelessly – and in the process enable all sorts of cool features like extracting recorded programs to your PC for archive purposes. Back then, I was paranoid enough about just adding another drive to increase my recording capacity – I didn’t want to brick my beloved TiVo – so I stuck to just the drive upgrade. However, the daily call nagging got me interested again and I began hunting down information on hacking my box to enable all the cool features that standalone TiVos have: networking, USB, recording extraction, and thankfully – no daily call nag.

So, I proceeded to scour forums and pages on hacking my particular box and software version. Turns out it’s dead-simple, or at least it seems to be from the various guides out there. I was super impressed with the ease of the hard drive upgrade – the hackers are extremely industrious and have spent their own time making their labor-of-love tools really user-friendly and pretty idiot-proof for someone with a modicum of PC skillz. So, I guess I shouldn’t have been too surprised when I found a detailed website showing exactly how to do exactly what I wanted to do to my TiVo in a few relatively simple steps. I downloaded the utilities I need, bookmarked the step-by-step instructions, and plan to call my TiVo-hacking alumni buddy Erik over when I get back from India to actually take apart the beast.

I am curious about what happens when DirecTV rolls out it’s next software upgrade to the box, but considering that it took them years to rollout 6.2 I guess it’s not a huge concern. I also briefly considered upgrading to the new R15 model of DirecTV DVR – which no longer requires a “daily call” – but was somewhat dissuaded when I found out it’s not based on TiVo software but the same guts that run the Dish DVR. Dish’s DVR may be good, but since I’m so accustomed to TiVo, and I already have a working box I enjoy – I figured I may as well try my hand at hacking what I’ve got. Either way, the R15 is a $100 upgrade even if I do somehow manage to brick my current box – and I have an old vanilla receiver I can hookup in the meantime should the worst happen. So, like you care, I’ll keep you updated on the progress.

That’s it then folks, I think that’ll cap off the week; not sure I’ll be writing anything for Friday as I’ll likely be busy Thursday night packing and readying for the big trip. So, if no Friday, I’ll catch ya all in India. Peace out.

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i guess it’s better than malaria

Taking my chances.
Evening folks. Not that much tonight, just a single topic, but I make up for it with pictures.

Today I went to the doctor to get my anti-malaria pills for the looming India trip. Apparently there are several varieties of pills that can be prescribed to ward off the disease – and the doctor began by explaining that the one she’d chosen to dispense to me was one with “the least amount of adverse side effects.” “What kind of ‘adverse side effects?'” I asked. Well, this one can cause diarrhea and some patients experience “strange” dreams (can’t wait for that, based on some of the things I’ve been dreaming of late). “Hmmm…” I wondered aloud, “How much worse are the other drugs?” “Well,” she began, “Some can cause hallucinations.” Wow; hallucinations. How much good am I going to be to my customers if I’m up there, completely malaria-untouchable, but tripping balls and out of my head? For reals y’all, check this out:

A sampling of the various omens of doom stuck to the side of this “medicine”:

Take this medication at least 2 hours before or 2 hours after magnesium or aluminum containing antacids, iron, or vitamins/minerals.

Do not lie down for at least 30 minutes after taking this medication.

Prolonged or excessive exposure to direct and or artificial sunlight should be avoided when taking this medication.

Warning, do not use if you are pregnant, suspect that you are pregnant, or while breastfeeding.

This medication should be taken with plenty of water.

Do not play basketball or ride horses/donkeys, or play basketball while riding horses/donkeys, for at least 3 hours after taking this medication.

OK, so I made that last one up for comedic purposes – but, honestly. So lets get this straight – I can’t lie down, can’t go outside, can’t breastfeed (dang). I’ve never seen a pill bottle with so much instructional text and warning labels. When I picked up the prescription, I paid and began to walk away – but before I got to far, the cash register guy told me, “Wait a second sir, the pharmacist wanted to talk to you about this one.” “Great,” I thought, “this is some serious stuff.” The pharmacist basically just wanted to go over the various warnings, and give me the dosage directions: Take one pill a day beginning two days before arriving in malaria risk area, one each day while in risk area, and one each day for four weeks upon return. Extreme to me, but I guess it’s better than malaria.

Speaking of India, I broke down and went into work today. I had been on the fence about going into the office or “working from home” today, with both my brother and my brother-in-law both still in town – and my boss out. I know, however, that should I not come in, I’d get next to nothing, if not nothing, done with my time. So, I begrudgingly set the alarm for the standard 6:40am-snooze-snooze 7am wakeup and took up my week-forgotten pre-work routine. And, although I didn’t finish my India material, I did go from about 0-to-30%. More importantly though, I took care of a bunch of “housecleaning” activities that had been monkeys on my back this past week. So, while I’m still not 100% ready for this trip, I gave myself a heck of a lot more confidence that I can be ready before I have to get up in front of others and prove it. Not only that, but I’m otherwise “prep’d” for the trip and have taken care of the little things that you always need to take care of before international travel. Go me.

Done early; no late-night obsessing over an entry tonight. Until tomorry.

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sometimes you just write

Add it up, add it up.
Friday y’all. Friday and I don’t have to wake up tomorrow. But now, Thursday night, it’s getting late and I have only the Lindsay Lohan and World of Warcraft paragraphs done (read on, you’ll see what I mean) – and if that’s all I can muster, you’ll never read this. I have no real original content tonight, just links and link commentary.

My new Maxim came with a free 14 day trial of WoW, and I am so tempted to install it and give it a shot. So many people I know are obsessed with it, and it does seem to be right up my alley. See, these are the things my sedentary lifestyle allows me to think over: whether or not to install a free game and invest some sitting-on-my-ass time in running around in it. I’m no gamer, but I have a feeling I could become addicted to a large fantasyish MMPORG like WoW or EverQuest. And… why I’m writing about this, I have no idea. Let’s move on then.

Found an interesting link today while doing random browsing of del.icio.us, a free online book (in PDF format) written by Scott Adams of Dilbert fame. But, this is no comic strip, just what Adams calls “… a 132-page thought experiment wrapped in a fictional story,” and recommends that, “For maximum enjoyment, share God’s Debris with a smart friend and then discuss it while enjoying a tasty beverage.” So, I figured I’ve got plenty of smart friends, and the premise of the book does sound interesting: Imagine that you meet a very old man who—you eventually realize—knows literally everything. Imagine that he explains for you the great mysteries of life—quantum physics, evolution, God, gravity, light, psychic phenomenon, and probability—in a way so simple, so novel, and so compelling that it all fits together and makes perfect sense. What does it feel like to suddenly understand everything? Compelling, no?

I’m about 40 pages into it and already it’s struck several chords with me, Divine omniscience vs. human free will, the odds of choosing the “right” religion, what exactly quantifies “belief,” etc. The narrative style reminds me a lot of Daniel Quinn’s Ishmael, actually. To temp you even more into reading, should you be the temptable type, an excerpt I particularly liked:

“Let’s say that you and I decide to travel separately to the same place. You have a map that is blue and I have a map that is green. Neither map shows all the possible routes, but both maps show an acceptable—yet different—route to the destination. If we both take our trips and return safely, we would spread the word of our successful maps to others. I would say, with complete conviction, that my green map was perfect, and I might warn people to avoid any other sort of map. You would feel the same conviction about your blue map.

“Religions are like different maps whose routes all lead to the collective good of society. Some maps take their followers over rugged terrain. Other maps have easier paths. Some of the travelers of each route will be assigned the job of being the protectors and interpreters of the map. They will teach the young to respect it and be suspicious of other maps.”

“Okay,” I said, “but who made the maps in the first place?”

“The maps were made by the people who went first and didn’t die. The maps that survive are the ones that work,” he said.

“Are you saying that all the religions work? What about all the people who have been killed in religious wars?”

“You can’t judge the value of a thing by looking only at costs. In many countries, more people die from hospital errors than religious wars, but no one accuses hospitals of being evil. Religious people are happier, they live longer, have fewer accidents, and stay out of trouble compared to nonreligious people. From society’s viewpoint, religion works.”

Scott Adams, God’s Debris

And we all blog about the same things in the end, don’t we?

Finally, while I’m not a big pop-culture fan, I did get a chuckle out of Stereogum’s relating of the Lindsay Lohan / Jason Lewis thing (although, I must admit I didn’t even know there was a “Jason Lewis” to impersonate). I think I like it more for the 007 famous-people-infiltrating aspects than I do for any vicarious thrill from this guy’s brush with Ms. Lohan. You can read it, and then when you’re done you’ll feel like my blog today was full of good stuff – it’s the power of linking.

I thought you were gonna start a blog, pussy.

Give up Dave, you obviously have nothing to say. Goodnight.

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one-solid

Do it now.
Evening folks. With this I’ve closed out one-solid (that’s one entry a day for a week), and that makes me feel good seeing as I was convinced I had dried up just last week. It may not be good, or even mediocre, but it’s here… so read it; pussy.

So, I didn’t post it every day this week like I said I would – but there’s still time to make your mark on the sounds familiar Frappr page. Go there now if you’re not representing your zip code with pride yet, or, go there now to help me understand how this page gets hundreds and hundreds of hits a day but only has ten readers willing to admit it (I know, they’re all Levitra and holdem robots… bastards). Anyway, do it now pussy.

Been on an entry-fixing kick since last night, and re-motivated today by a comment posted on an old entry; an old entry full of crazy ASCII artifacts from my the database hacking I had to do to make the move to WordPress. Fixed that one, gave it a title, removed the funny characters – and was then inspired to go back and title/fix some more old entries. With an eventual goal of 100% titled and categorized… I’ve still got work ahead of me though. At least the first months of 2004 seem to be on their way… Anyway, do it now pussy.

9:30pm and I’m beat… heavy-eyes tired for some reason. I think, for the past couple days, I’ve been fighting off a cold, beneath the surface. I get little signs now and then, like fatigue or congestion in the morning, little things that just tell me my immune system is fighting a silent battle somewhere deep inside me… fending off whatever it is that’s determined to take me down. Way to go immune system, we’re all rooting for you; we’ve put little yellow ribbons on the back of our SUVs as a show of support for you and we pray every weekend for your safety as you protect our wellbeing.

Y’know (stay with me, it’s semi-related), I don’t just get Maxim for the babes… they occasionally have some decent writing. This month’s issue actually had a piece I really enjoyed, not for the writing style, which I found kinda hackneyed, pandering, and overly heartstring-tugging, but for the story. It’s a collection of sad tales about American vets, recently returned from our latest wars/engagements. For those of you thinking I’m trying to make some political point, I’m not; I’m sure there are just as many happy and triumphant tales of homecoming to balance these. I’m just saying I liked the article; anything that’ll keep me in the bathroom, breathing the stench of my own feces, has got to be a pretty compelling read. If you wanna check it out, they’ve got it online in its entirety here.

Guys I dunno… I just don’t think I have another paragraph in me. Now… go to the Frappr page, pussy.

Goodnight.

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there’s a doctor i know can cure the boy

I'll wait for you.
Daylight savings time doesn’t do much for me, aside from making me feel depressed walking out of work under cover of dark. Leaving work in the dark sucks, it truly does.

Halloween was typical in our new neighborhood, slim on trick-or-treaters but what we had seemed appreciative of the effort. New neighborhoods just don’t have the same things that established ones do: throngs of all-aged kids, trees, you know. It’s OK, the compliments we do get make it worth it to me… heck, I’d do it for one kid because I don’t even care. I cued up the music, flicked on the strobe light, and fired up the fog machines – all for about twenty kids. Don’t matter though folks, I still love this holiday; can’t wait to experience it through the eyes of my daughter, either.

If you noticed from yesterday’s Halloween images, I abandoned my Gallery 2 install in favor of Coppermine, another open-source image gallery app. I liked Gallery, but I always did think it was a tad too option-heavy. I tend to like a lot of functionality that’s presented as if it were being used by dummies. Coppermine’s install took all of 1min and it just worked. Not only that, but the bulk-upload feature works like a charm, and the editing/commenting/rating features are great. The interface is simple, speedy, and skinnable. Anyway, I think I’ll move to this long-term as opposed to Gallery, especially since G2 “lost” the ability to let users vote/rank files.

I think you know you ended up with the right person in life when your deepest-rooted escapist fantasies still include them. If I could have my way, and get away from everything for a while to be surrounded only by things which bring me joy – Sharaun’d be there. OK so yeah, maybe it’s sappy, but I’m for really. I’d need some music, comfortable clothes and maybe a few books, and my wife; that’s all really. I could ask for good weather and tasty food and a host of other amenities I suppose, but that’s more of a utopian fantasy than the escapist one I’m writing about (shit, I’m off track again aren’t I?). In reality even my die-hard “get away” scenarios (the ones that aren’t Thoreau-esque fantasies of extreme solitude, which aren’t long-term anyway) see her with me. To me, that’s a good thing.

Nightnight.

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compliance

Tracks of testosterone.
Evenin’ folks. Not much going down, not much at all.

This week work is picking up again, and I’m actually liking it. I mentioned that the aimlessness I’ve been experiencing there has contributed to my recent slump, so having some stuff to track down and deadlines to meet is actually making things more enjoyable. I get to a certain point were I’m a well-oiled machine, going through motions I’ve memorized, executing at 100%-plus and not missing a beat – I like that feeling. I guess I can’t really slump forever anyway, it’s not good for a body. A body needs to feel useful, wants to feel needed, enjoys some recognition. It’s time I get back in the game.

They’re building a mall over by my house, and the construction site is right on my way to and from work. Every day I pass that place, and let me tell you this is a major operation. Trenches wide enough and deep enough that dump trucks drive down into them and disappear below the ground; massive earthmoving machinery pushing tons of dirt and rock around with ease, hydraulics in full effect. Let me tell you, I am absolutely fascinated with large machinery and the process of “creating” something where there was nothing before. I nearly crash the truck every day craning my neck to watch the multi-yard buckets scoop up dirt and move it around… I don’t know why I like it so much. I swear I could sit across the street and just watch them do their massive dance all day. I remember when I was a kid watching a show on TV about the biggest earth-moving machine ever (at the time), just the treads were several stories tall. I guess that’s why little boys get yellow dumptrucks with knobby plastic tires and little girls get pink convertibles their Barbies can drive around in. Male vs. female, who knows.

Turns out the motor I got to replace the flying crank ghost’s burned-out one is just too RPMey for the application. I knew when I bought it that it was designed to operate at 160RPM at 12V, but early tests at 3.3V showed a promising reduction in RPM – something that would work for the ghost. I did my best to see if the torque at 3.3V was significantly less, but the “pinch the turny thing and see how hard it is to stop” method isn’t terribly accurate. Turns out that the thing just doesn’t have enough oomph at 3.3V to pull the ghost’s head (her heaviest part) up once it gets down. For kicks, I gave it 5V and it could operate the ghost no problem – although she was now a flying crack ghost, as in crackhead, because she shook and jittered and about pulled herself apart as she was jerked around at breakneck speed. If there’s anything good about redoing the whole thing, it’s that I was able to make significant improvements to the ceiling-mounting system I’ve been using for the past two years… but it’s small consolation since she’s still just hanging there being boring and static.

Did some work adding some links to the header at the top (one currently not implemented), bulked up the “links” thing on the sidebar, and did some general stylesheet cleanup. Stylesheet’s still a mess, but at least it’s better than before. All that work and nothing to show for it but three little color-changing links – not much reward I tell ya.

Gotta take the trash out. Goodnight faithful, see you tomorrow.