before pro tools and cubase

Original.Monday night and I’ll kick off this music-centric entry with a prayer:

Dear Lord I’d like to thank you.

For the first time since I discovered Beatles bootlegs, became a fervent collector, and eventually amassed all that there was to hear (quite truthfully), and then quit the game once the unreleased material dried up, you have blessed us fanatics with something truly amazing. As always, I am in awe of the work of these sonic wizards, and I thank you for bringing new material to the forefront.

Blessed be the well-oiled and poorly-secured doors on the Apple vaults.

No but seriously, last week one of the holy grails of unreleased Beatles’ material leaked out to the web: the full eleven minute “take 20” of the White Album track, “Revolution 1,” which is the slowed-down, mellowed-out original version of the heavier (and more familiar to most) “Revolution” released earlier that summer in 1968 as a B-side to “Hey Jude.” This take is described in Beatles recording session expert Mark Lewisohn’s incredibly detailed book, Complete Beatles Chronicle, with the following entry:

Tuesday 4 June, 1968
Studio Three, EMI Studios, London

A session of unusual overdubs and experiments for “Revolution 1” 2:30pm-1:00am.  John re-taped his lead vocal – and, attempting to alter his voice in some way, he lay flat out on the floor of studio three while doing so.

Paul and George added a persistent backing vocal that went along the lines of “Mama Dada Mama Dada Mama Dada” towards the end of the ten-minute recording, Ringo added some percussive clicks, John a tone-pedal guitar part, Paul an organ part and the group then spent some time creating two tape loops, neither of which was used.

A rough mono mix of take 20 (which was a reduction of 19) and an additional copy of this made at the end of the session were taken away by John and one other person (unnamed on studio documents).

So there you go. Fifty years later that “additional copy” made for “one other unnamed person” has made it onto the internet. One of only two copies in the world, the other presumably still locked away in the studio gathering dust. Tip o’ the hat to you, unnamed person.  Too bad that I am, in all likelihood, celebrating the passing of unnamed person – as I’d be willing to bet that was the catalyst for a changing of hands, or sharing without repercussion, of this tape.

And, before I continue this essay on the new tape, I need  to wax a bit about the current state of the bootleg “scene…”  Please bear with me (or, skip three paragraphs ahead if you simply can’t).

While I’ve been away from the “Beatleg” trade for years now, I do still follow what small “development” there is in terms of new material, new labels and players, and what may be on the horizon. With most of the old-school European bootleggers now IFPI’d out of business, all physical production has moved to Japan. I have a hunch that most of the material appearing is still coming from the same European and US “sources,” but that it’s just too risky anymore to print the physical media in that arena. Besides, the internet has marginalized the market for physical bootlegs. Sure you’re still guaranteed the collectors who want the physical discs – but you don’t have to seek them out in order to hear the material, as the new generation will just wait until they are digitized and put on their favorite tracker to download.

Funny enough, hardcore bootleg addicts being a peculiar bunch, it’s not a surprise that there’s a growing “rip opposition” movement amongst the die-hards, in which they promise not to rip the discs and post them on torrent trackers for the world to hear. This somewhat anti-sharing, reveling in exclusivity snobbery is classic Beatleg hoarder behavior… so it’s not unexpected. After all, he who has the rarest cut wins.

But, in this day and age, you simply cannot keep things off the internet. Unless you’re unwilling to brag, unwilling to cut just that one copy for your best mate and fellow collector, it’s gonna end up online. And let’s face it, what good is having the rarest bit of tape in the world if you can’ brag about having the rarest bit of tape in the world, right? And so, even things shared amongst a privileged few under strict pacts of non-torrenting will, and do, end up online.

And so it is that I’m here listening to this amazing piece of history, five minutes into an eleven minute descent into John & Yoko tape-loop madness. I can remember the stories I read as a teenager, how John had taken some of the “stranger” bits of the extended “Revolution 1” sessions and warped, reversed, and wrecked them into his music-concrete stunner, “Revolution 9.” “Revolution 9,” the track that I used to be scared to listen to in the dark. Seriously. And, in this brilliant new leak, you can hear the elements John used to craft that piece of “musical” nonsense. The bassline Lennon buried as the “drive” for his piece, the tape-stretched and effect-drenched yelps and whoops, it’s all there. But here, in this take of “Revolution 1,” it’s still musical.

And, I’ll be honest, I listened to it at least ten times this morning, over and over and over. Hearing pristine new Beatles audio like this hasn’t been an experience I’ve had in a good while. Not since the “Hey Jude” sessions leaks back before Anthology have I been this intrigued with a new leak, nor has there been a leak this significant.

Well, I suppose the Sgt. Pepper multi-tracks were about equal in importance, but you don’t get the gravity of hearing “new” material with them – just the underlying 4-tracks of songs you’re already intimately familiar with. That said, to me the availability of this recording trumps the Pepper multi-tracks in terms of sheer enjoyment derived from listening.

I got into a bit of an academic discussion about the track with Ben today… the only one I really know who can stand to get “academic” about music, other than a close buddy in Florida who wasn’t online at the time and doesn’t quite share my Gods-on-high view of the Beatles. I shared the track with him and he queued it up at work for a listen. His reaction interested me, as he remarked something like, “This is very shoegazer-ish, just epic. Goes on and on and on and on. Like a Ride song. This track is downright great. Love it.”

At which point, I got on a favorite soapbox of mine and tried to explain how, listening to stuff like this now, with our modern appreciation of music, it’s hard to imagine just how groundbreaking and ahead of its time it was back in 1968. I tell this to Sharaun all the time when she says things like, “Yeah, the Beatles are good, but I don’t hear why people think they were so revolutionary or groundbreaking.”

It’s all well and good to say something like that having had the luxury of hearing all the areas music has managed to explore since the Beatles were around. What they invented, modern music has emulated… so without going back into the past and unhearing what those musical seeds blossomed into post-Beatles it’s virtually impossible to hear the stuff as one would have then, that is – in a context all its own.

Anyway, I make a similar argument to Ben, saying how, at the time, some of the more inspired bits the Beatles did stood wholly on their own ground, without reference and completely new unto the world. He agrees with me, and we both wonder at how some of the interesting techniques were achieved in the pre-digital world. Before Pro Tools and Cubase, the kind of stretched and warped vocals Lennon gets on the recording were done completely manually, pressing pencil erasers to running tapes, feeding microphones through hand-built effects pedals, physically cutting and looping tape (yes, with scissors and tape). We both bask for a while in the combined glow of the recording and our hipster music-nerd pomp, and close the conversation by agreeing that it’s like someone travelled back in time and anonymously dropped a copy of Nowhere at Lennon’s flat.

Yeah, it really is that advanced. I know, after all this you might want to hear it too, right? Well OK, here ‘tis. Enjoy.

And now that you’ve heard it, you’re free to accuse me of gushing over nothing. But you have to understand where I’m coming from, the history of the matter here. What’s that, you don’t really understand the history? I’ve never told you the history? Oh man… this is… big.

In fact, now that I think about it, I’ve written about bits and snatches of my history with bootlegs over the years, but a quick search of the blog annals shows I’ve never tacked a concise overview of how it all started, how it all got just a little bit out of control, and how it arrived where it is today.

But, I’ll get to it tomorrow, as I’ve already written a ton today.  Hope someone enjoyed it, take care  – I’m off to the gym (but not before I load up this new leak on the iPod for some more ear-time).

Goodnight.

for both the sunshine and rain

Sunshowers.Friday the sun was out and shining in Northern California.  Oh and I was enticed… started thinking Spring and Summer thoughts: barbecues, camping, hiking, swimming… I was enticed to be sure.  Even the trees agreed with me, as some are sporting premature pink and white buds as if the weather really were changing.

Saturday the blessed weather held.  Sharaun had a New Kids on the Block fan “meetup” in the city, and so Keaton and (no, wait… you’re still thinking about that bit before the comma, right?  Yeah, a New Kids on the Block fan “meetup”) so Keaton and I had the morning to ourselves. Me with designs on heading to the gym later, and her with plenty of energy to expend, I decided on a course of action which would take care of both and afford us a chance to enjoy the unseasonably nice weather.

I hitched the kiddie trailer on the bike and trekked to the local park where we met friends for playtime in the warmth.  Others shared our idea, and Spring-enthusiasm, and the place was packed.  The smell of charcoal filled the air as folks grilled hot dogs and burgers, the premature pink and white buds of humankind I guess.  Keaton ran around with her compatriot Jake, swinging, climbing, and running around the bases on the baseball field; was a great time.

Sunday the cold and rain returned.  It’s good, really, we need the rain something awful.  Against my Spring fever, I do hope it sticks around for a while and fills up the Sierra lakes and streams which so badly wont for it.

All the rain, and a dosing of fertilizer, has nearly re-greened my lawn to good-neighbor standards.  It’s also got the weeds in full-season, choking out any area where the grass isn’t thick enough to fight them off.  I wrote briefly before about how I was considering a lawn service, and I think I’m even closer now to making that decision: I want a lawn service.  I want to pay someone my hard-earned money to come in and make the place beatiful.  Or… do I?  Man, this is a tough one.

Anyway, it was a good weekend; for both the sunshine and rain.  Let’s see where the week goes, shall we?

Goodnight.

comforting. permanent.

Gleeman.Thursday night.

After some 5:30pm peer pressure from coworkers, I did an about face on my “going home, going to dinner, then going to the gym” evening and instead joined them at the bar for happy hour.  It was a welcomed break.  See, the whole annual review process at the sawmill culminated today, ending in a manager staring-contest worth of Guinness.  In the end, things went as good as can be expected, and, as always, the proceedings were torture.  So, to recap: reviews are done; cold beer was had; calorie intake was monitored.  Let’s go.

The crew that met tonight for happy hour is a crew I’ve run with almost from day-one at the sawmill.  Because of this, we have a lot of history, a lot of stories.  And, on the rare occasion when we all get together (difficult these days, as we now live on different continents), those same told and re-told stories are trotted out and run once around the track again for old-time sake.  Something of a tradition, even though we’ve all heard them before, we tell them again.

… the Cuban arm-wrestling contest in the Shanghai apartment…

… the guy who left a pair of soiled underwear in his desk drawer after losing his job…

Seems like they get funnier and more grand with each telling.  How a story about “finding” an employee who’d  gone completely MIA whilst in Taiwan by seeing him on television, whilst visiting there yourself months later, being arrested in a transvestite prostitution sting can get any more “grand” remains to be seen, but we seem to be able to pull it off.

Every single time we get together.  Comforting.  Permanent.

A good way to start off a weekend.

Goodnight.

a new empire in rags

Freeper.Well guys, it’s Tuesday night and I’ve been writing all day long.  From early morning until five o’clock I hovered over the keyboard banging keys to create reviews of my employees.  And then, fingers still stiff and sore from that – I went on a blog tirade.  So then, it’s a longwinded political rant today, and I’m not going to do as much pre-defense and positioning as I typically do (mostly because it’s all embedded in the glut of it all).  I’ll return to regular blogging as soon as possible.

One of my favorite daily (when I can) reads are the all-out crazy forums over at the neo-conservative haven that is Free Republic. “Freepers,” as they are called, have a simply laid out forum where they can post stories and comment back… and the prevailing topics of conversation could be said to lend insight into what the larger GOP “base” is talking about. Of course, there are nuts everywhere on the internet (and in the real world, for that matter) – both on the left and right and even in the non-committal center. But man, the Freepers can really do some good crazy… like Hannity crazy. Oh wait… you don’t think Hannity is crazy?… oh boy you’re gonna love this then…

I mean, some of the threads there are just beautiful.  Here, check some of this cerebral stuff:

Took the words right out of my mouth!! I am a member of Team Sarah and we are doing everything possible to assist Sarah in anyway necessary to get her the nomination in 2012. She will wipe the floor with Obama, please, Obama is crapping his pants now thinking of it. He doesn’t want to be in the same room with Sarah Palin, if they do debate, I hope he is wearing dark pants

From Dissing Palin

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Couldn’t they put the koran in the bathroom? That’s where my copy is, at least what’s left of it.

Shouldn’t it be on the floor where islamderthals can walk on it?

From Libraries put Bible on top shelf in a sop to Muslims

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Foolish people, Lord, worship a man rather than You. The thing created ignores its Creator and worships a fellow creation. What a crazy world we live in these days, and getting crazier by the moment.

Heavenly Father, we come to You today amazed that almost one month into the Obama Presidency that there is never a lack of things to pray for. I wish his first month would have been less eventful, but as I feared, he has moved swiftly in his destruction of all that we hold near and dear. Still, we are not destroyed entirely and so there is hope. There may be scars we may pay for for years, but if You were to intervene, this nation could still be saved. Whether or not it is in Your plan to intervene in this case is not something that You have revealed to me. Still, I believe it pleases You when we recognize You for who You are. You are the great Almighty God, and nothing is too difficult for You. Men’s hearts are as putty in Your hands. And Obama’s heart is not beyond Your grasp. Is he meant for judgment or amazement? I really don’t know. But so that we may have peaceful lives in this nation, I pray for his soul that the world may be amazed at the change You bring in his life.

From PRAY for our Nation and For the Conversion of President Obama – Day 96

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Radical Islam is an insane murder cult.

Moderate Islam is its Trojan Horse in the West.

From Islamic subversion alleged by speaker, where we learn the secret-Mulsims are silently implementing Islamic law in the USA

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In a brainwashing project that ought to tug on liberal heartstrings, schoolchildren have been encouraged to address prayers to Chairman Zero. A touching example:

I would appreciate it if you would try to make this a greener planet and try to bring home the troops and end the war. I am very luckey because I am not part of a military family, but it saddens me to hear about all the people who die in Iraque and know that somewhere In the world people are greiving over a lost family member.

It looks like our public schools are succeeding in their mission of cranking out a new generation of Democrats.

From Children Taught to Pray to Obama

Sorry to over-represent the religious aspect, but those tend to be some of the “better” threads.  And now that I’ve poked a little fun (to be fair, there are some level-headed folks on there too), I feel like I can use the open-door to talk about my current theory around the neo-conservative movement in the US.

For my purposes here, I want to lump a bunch of folks into one category – that may seem unfair, but I want to apply some thinking to the group as a whole, and I’m trying to make the point that, although modern conservatives have a varied and diverse taxonomy, some things can be said of them as a group.

Now, who am I talking about here? Those referred to as neo-conservative and the Christian or religious right, that’s who. It’s my belief that these groups are killing the Republican party, and that if their philosophies are not decoupled from its basic dogma the GOP will not win a general election again in this increasingly moderate USA.

Hey look, I realize the GOP’s “problem” has been looked at and analyzed (not to mention denied in its very existence) by folks with a heck of a lot more degrees than I have, and I’ll be the first to say my thoughts here aren’t entirely my own. I’ve read several political pundits variations on this same thing, so I’m at best doing an ineloquent rewrite here of an already prominent school of thought. But, that’s what the internet is all about right? I also realize things aren’t near as simple as an “extreme” right becoming an increasingly alienated minority in an ever-more progressive nation – but that’s a reality and it’s where I’ve chosen to write. With those disclaimers in place, I’ll plow along.

Part of the GOP’s problem right now, as I see it, is that they’ve completely lost “country focus.” That is, their “base” has become a group that is fighting stupid battles, and as such their platform and policy have drifted away from things which are centered on the welfare of the nation and has instead been laser focused on several extremely divisive wedge issues. I’ll go even further, and say that this “base” has become xenophobic, fear-controlled, overly militaristic, ritualistically distrustful, and even strangely proud of their cloistered ignorance.

Oh boy, there it goes… now I’ve got some folks mad I’m sure. If the party continues to court this group as their “base,” I believe they are doomed to spiral into obscurity.

What seems at-odds to me, however, is that I don’t really believe these types are the true GOP “base.” In fact, I think the GOP’s got it wrong… and that there is a large group of traditionalist conservatives and right-leaning moderates who are being alienated by the party’s pandering to these more “extreme” factions.

The “base” doesn’t have to be the folks who are afraid of people with brown skin, doesn’t have to be the people who think Islam = terrorism, doesn’t have to be those who would remove evolution from curriculum and prize profit-generation over sustainability. Oh look, now I’ve opened myself up to arguments that I’m pigeonholing and stereotyping conservatives. Just bear with me and accept that I’m talking about just those folks who believe those things, and am not trying to apply those qualities to all conservatives.

The point here is that there’s a whole other “base” the GOP can court and develop. It’s those folks who want a fiscally conservative government, a less involved government, to keep their guns, to be governed by guiding principles set forth in the Constitution. And no, I’m not speaking strictly about Libertarians or Madisonians or whatever you choose to call those folks who want to return to the embryonic and idealized government in place during the days immediately following the Philadelphia Convention, though parts of their ilk would certainly fall in here (well, but for the conspiracy nuts… looking at you Truthers and Federal Reserve haters and Moon-landing doubters). But, it’s this base… which is undeniably a more “moderate” base, that I think could do the GOP right in coming elections.

As a party that would have any designs on acquiring office again, I fully believe the GOP will have to make concessions which will completely alienate a percentage of the current “base.” Unfortunately, in a strictly two-party system this might be suicide, and is likely why it hasn’t yet been done. I’m sure Republican political strategists who are multiple whole-brains more intelligent than I have mulled this, it’s a certainty. And, if they’re anything like me, they may have realized that there may be a solution that’s neither black nor white – yet something in between. That is, I believe you can successfully court this more moderate conservative “base” and at the same time alienate as few “extremists” as possible. Sure you’re gonna lose some, the most hard-core… but I’d argue those are the thinkers you need most to lose as they hold the most party-damaging ideology.

If you can convince Christians that they are free to hold their views and those views will continue to be respected by government, but that they simply have no place being legislated – you stand to minimize losses from their corner. If you can convince neocons that a military strategy of homeland-security coupled with a well-educated technologically-advanced population is a better than one of Manifest Destiny, world-police, or Imperialist expansionism – you stand to minimize losses from their corner. Once you’ve successfully stratified those groups into the somewhat open-minded and the absolutely close-minded, you can begin to rebuild your new “base.”

Those hardline conservatives who simply cannot deal with these concessions will be out of luck, and can perhaps have a go at creating a viable third party. I guess I’m not really sure how huge this group is, and, as I said above, perhaps they are too large to be cast out and still leave enough “moderate” folks for a viable party. Perhaps this is the GOP’s quandary: they have to court today’s “base” because without them they are nothing. All the more reason for an image makeover, says I. What the party needs is its thinking conservatives back… those who align with conservative social policy, fiscal policy, foreign policy, energy policy, etc. – but who are not driven by phobia, racism, and rank biggest-dick Nationalism.

The bottom line is that, unless Republicans can change the knee-jerk classification of their rally-cry from: “Dollars before humanity. Because the Bible said so. Dollars before environment. Kneel to Christ or pay the price!,” they are doomed.

Republicans can be environmentally conscious. Republicans can be proponents of social justice. Republicans can support free-market capitalism without turning a blind eye to greed and corruption. Republicans can share an airplane with a Muslim; a cab with a Sikh. Republicans can have a less binary understanding of “good” and “evil,” and might enjoy a vacation someday to Iran. They can be all this and more, it’s in their existing and potential constituency right now, I promise.

So here’s where you yell something like, “So you want to turn the USA into a Godless carbon-copy of handout-happy Europe?!”  No; whatever; actually that’s a stupid thing to say, idiot.  I want the USA to be a place where my children can live freely, stand to prosper with hard work, and are for the most part safe.  And, being a Democrat myself… I don’t want to see the Republicans die.  Just like Home Depot needs Lowes and McDonalds needs Burger King (although a bit more important than just healthy competition).  As a Democrat, I rely on the GOP to check my party’s stupid spending diarrhea, pipedream socialism, and overly humanistic hippie “everything’s cool with me” mentality.

So c’mon GOP, pull out of this tailspin.  We’re all waiting for the second coming of Buckley, for a new Reagan.  Something. Get it together conservatives, get a party colonic and clear the old clinging crap out of your pipes.  You’ll feel better for it, and it’ll give you new life.

Done.  OK?

But, since you’re this far… I’ll do a bit of epilogue here, I think.

Reading this, you may be tempted to think I’m over-indicting religion or religious folks. I’m not; I promise. Religion certainly plays a role here, but it’s not the problem. Part of the problem is that the Right wants to legislate morality – and this simply won’t work. In fact, there are several books making their way through Christian circles right now that show the Bible speaks against pushing religion through government.

Unfortunately, the problem the GOP has is also the problem that American Christians have: That is, the two have been near inextricably tied. Christians are looked at as environment-hating, frightened warmongering Hawks who want to cram their belief systems down the collective throat of the populous; and the GOP is seen this way by association. Conversely, the GOP is seen in a similar light; and Christians the same by the reverse association. The connected stereotypes feed on each other, and do harm to both.

It seems both Christians and the GOP are suffering from the whole Kleenex vs. “tissue,” Xerox vs. “copy” brand-image dilution problem. Both could benefit from a little distinction. Christians can be Christians, Republicans Republicans. Their ideologies may even overlap to a large extent – but they need to steer away from co-identification.  Same deal with with the party and its neocon element…

What’s interesting here (to me, at least) is that I identify as religious, as “Christian”… I believe in a lot of the principles and theology (to tell you exactly what super/sub-set would take forever, and I’m not entirely sure myself yet).  Thing is, I know plenty of church-going folks who feel as I’ve written here, that the “religious right” is tanking the Republican party, and are pushing for disengagement from the business of politics.  I hope that line of thought gets wings.  Bottom line, even though it’s easy for my more agnostic/atheistic friends like to immediately paint God-phyllic folks as feces-throwing cultural barbarians – nothing could be more untrue.  Sure some of them are, but there are nuts in all walks.

So, wrapping up – let’s get smarter people everywhere. On the left, on the right, in the middle, in the pulpit, in the classrooms, in the boardrooms… everywhere.  Let’s bring rational thought back to politics, let’s bring intelligent discourse, respectful debate, accountability.

Now, how we gonna do that?

No time to proofread, typos surely abound.  Goodnight.

digitizing

Hi guys.Monday, a holiday in the US… so I’m not at work.

Why, then, am I sitting here working?  I’ll tell you why, because it’s annual review time.

And, that’s what I did all morning, review stuff.  Sufficiently frustrated, and not sufficiently self-flagellated, I chose to take an afternoon break from reviews and do our taxes instead.  Much frustration and a few raised-voice exchanges about receipts with Sharaun later I’d completed at least one arduous annual tribulation today.  Tomorrow work will be about finishing up the other, and getting all reviews taken care of.  I spend so much dang time on the things… demanding a level of perfection in writing nothing like sounds familiar has ever seen.  Get it… it was knock on my writing here…

The other day Sharaun showed me some old scanned-in images one of her new Facebook friends had posted on the internet.  Her new Facebook friend being an old real-world friend, the pictures were of them together back in their youth.  Seeing them made me smile, and also made me think about how neat it would be to have the old family pictures in digital form.  The only real way we look at and/or use pictures now is on the computer, and I think it’d be so neat to have “forever” copies of those old printed images stored digitally for generations to come.

So, I asked my Pop if he’d be willing to ship down all our old family photo albums.  Not wanting to scan in what could potentially be thousands of pictures one-by-one, I instead found a reputable (well-reviewed, at least) place to ship them off to where they’ll be bulk-scanned for pennies a print in no time at all.  If and when I get the albums, I plan to go through them, put the good ones into logical bundles, and ship them off in bulk.  When the resultant DVDs come back I’ll look through and post some of the better ones here after touching them up a bit (the place just does raw scanning, no post-processing).

Could be a fun thing to do, I think.  I’m looking forward to flipping through some photos Pop… so get them in the mail, OK?

Moving on, a quick note about Sunday.  After church we joined friends for a BBQ in the rain and some Daytona 500 watching.  Was  great time, but towards the end of the day Keaton started making more-than-regular trips to the potty – and her #2s became less and less, ahem, “solid.”  Fearing more of the same, we left the get-together a bit early and retired home.  Good thing too, once at home we played around for a while until it was Keaton’s bedtime.  Once she was down I headed to the gym, and upon returning found Keaton out of bed and in a freshly-run bath and Sharaun washing puke out of her bedsheets.

Poor girl.  She lost her stomach another time that night, and Sharaun and I were both by her side to see her through it.  Breaks my heart to see how much it scares and frustrates her; she just stands and wails between heaves, shaking her hands in protest and asking to be held.  I can remember how scary it used to be to get sick, the fact that’s it’s totally beyond your control, the overall awfulness of it all, and the added bonus that you can’t breathe while it’s happening.  She took it like a champ though, and never did develop a fever or any other symptoms.  Monday she was fresh as a daisy and had her regular appetite, so I guess it was something she ate.

Let’s hope, at least.

Goodnight folks.  Wish me a better week writing, OK?

our resident baglady

Broke or broken.

Wednesday already.

Good because we’re speeding towards the weekend… not so good because I’m quite behind at work.  It’s review time again, and frequent readers know all about my thoughts come annual review.  So, instead of taking my time tonight to finish them… I’m going to write instead.

Have I told you guys that we’ve been having a hard time throwing things away lately?  Yeah, we totally have.

Why?

Because Keaton, out of a strong sense of environmental responsibility, or perhaps an inability to “let go,” has become our very own little garbage/not-garbage filter.  Whatever refuse finds itself atop the trash resting in the bin becomes something for her to potentially reclaim. I might have an easier time understanding this were the things she salvages broken toys – but most of the time it’s just trash; garbage plain and simple.

Like the busted umbrella I had tried to tuck under some papers in the garage trash bin, which we passed by on the way into the house the other day.

“Heyyyyyy, Daddy!!”

“Yes?”

“Look, there’s my umbrella in the trash!  That’s not trash!”

“That umbrella is broken baby, it doesn’t open right anymore.”

“But, but yes it does!  I need to get my umbrella out of the trash!”

“No, Daddy needs to throw that umbrella away.  We’ll get a better umbrella later, OK?”

I got lucky that time, as we actually had the conversation and I “won.”  Most of the time, things are “rescued” from the garbage without our knowledge.

A cracked piece of tupperware that’s been missing its lid for years will mysteriously appear in the living room full of crayons, despite me having thrown it away in the bin under the sink the day before.  An old white t-shirt of mine with yellow deodorant-encrusted armpits will suddenly adorn one of the dolls, re -purposed as a beautiful “princess gown” and now more important than life itself and thus completely invaluable and unquestionably not trash.  Good luck throwing away Kia’s dress, y’all.

Now, I have thought about the motivation behind this recent phenomenon, learning, I like to think, a little from the whole locked-door/bedtime thing we went through a little ways back that there are often “hidden” drivers behind behaviors.  Maybe, just maybe, this is grown from what we’ve dubbed the “Sunday School junk” thing.

Specifically the fact that, after church on Sundays, Keaton brings home at least one piece of “artwork” or “craft” she’s done in her little classes.  While these have some immediate value as her own creations, and something she and we can be proud of, their appreciation vs. time curve dips near asymptotically as you move right on the X-axis.  And so, by the time the drive home after church is over, they’ve become just a blob of half-scribbled-on construction paper, glitter, cottonballs, and Elmer’s glue.  In other words, what was an hour ago a deeply meaningful “project” is now a prime candidate for the trash: i.e. it’s garbage.

So, we toss it and hope she doesn’t notice.  Oh but she always notices.  Always.

“Hey Daddy!!  That’s my plate-face from church in the trash!!”

“Ohh.. yeeeaahhhh… how’d that get in there?!”

So maybe she’s just accustomed to us throwing out her cherished creations, and being wary of our ability to distinguish genius from garbage has decided we might need some assistance figuring out what should stay and what should go.  Or, perhaps her garbage man fascination is simply escalating to the next predictable levels… and we should actually be fostering her trash-sifting abilities.  Or, maybe she just likes garbage.

Whatever the reason, with her assistance we’ve managed to recover many an important and irreplaceable item: One brown shoe from when she was a year old, its partner missing for months; empty bottles which formerly contained water, since she can “take them to the gym” when she “exercises,” and even the three stale Goldfish in the bottom of the months-old box.  She leaves no potential treasure undiscovered… that’s for sure.

Anyway… next time you’re over please don’t mind the broken umbrella in the corner, the playroom cache of empty water bottles, or my stank old undershirt wrapped around Kia.  It’s just our baglady daughter and her “things.”

Should I be doubly concerned that she talks to the cat?

Goodnight.

are you lame, lifts and lass?

Nips, nips, nips.Hey Tuesday.

Turns out I set the automatic-publish date on Monday’s entry for last Thursday, so chances are you didn’t catch yesterday’s entry (as it was mistakenly buried back amongst last week’s noise).  So, I’ve fixed that and it’s now where it should be, which is yesterday.

I wrote a lot today, and I don’t even know if it’s a good read.  Somehow I think not.  Enjoy.

As a kid growing up, my interests bounced around a lot. I like to think I was “well rounded,” but who am I to say. As my likes went, I think back on them and naturally separate things into the tangible and the conceptual. For the tangible, I was into the classic nerd items: electronics kits, model rockets, Mad Magazine, fire, Garbage Pail Kids, girls, dinosaurs; all standard fair. And, conceptually I leaned towards things mysterious, supernatural, and occult: UFOs, spontaneous combustion, Egyptian pyramids, magic, etc. For the purpose of this setup paragraph, I want to focus on the conceptual part.

Now, not to say this was all I was into… I liked all manner of “regular” kid stuff (He Man, smashing up Hot Wheels, wrestling, you know the drill), but there definitely was a period where “unsolved mysteries” were my thing. I think this carried over into my adult life quite a bit. I still enjoy a good 48 Hours Mystery, am still intrigued by the occult and all manner of mysticism, and love a good puzzle. There’s evidence of these predilections even here on sounds familiar in my writings about spiritual alchemy, religion, serial killers, and the like.

The point of the preceding, because I feel like I’m taking a little too long getting around to one, is that, by the time the events of the next paragraph took place I was perfectly mentally receptive – that is: The pump had been primed and I ate this stuff for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

So then – Sometime back around the good old 7th grade, a year where a young man learns much of what he’ll ever know of different slang terms for sexual acts (in addition to a little algebra and earth science), a dear friend of mine introduced me to a book called Big Secrets. Checked out from our local library, the bright primary yellow cover looked interesting enough – but once I dived into the pages I was hooked beyond description. The cover purported to reveal all manner of “secrets,” from the recipe for KFC chicken, secret alcohol-serving clubs at Disneyland, to beating a lie-detector test, and how to mark playing cards.

From first page to last page I was fascinated. This was the kind of stuff I thrived on just “knowing.” To feel like I had inside information, especially if that “secret” info gave me some perceived advantage in “life,” or even a funny nugget of wisdom I could use in conversation – I loved that. To be able to bet someone that I could find the fifty states on a $5 bill; or drop word that I could make a bomb from a deck of playing cards… these were the kind of quirky nuggets I filed away in my brain. Big Secrets, then, was a goldmine for me. I read it with vigor, front to back. And, as I approached the last few pages in the book, one chapter away from the very last chapter, it happened. The chapter was called “Secret Messages on Records.”

I read with zeal the notion that recording artists would purposely put hidden messages in their music, by way of recording them, flipping the audio around so as to make it unintelligible, and then integrating that into the music.  In the days of records (that’s “vinyl” for you digital-agers), un-masking these hidden messages was as easy plopping a firm finger onto the disc as it spun and then forcing the turntable to operate in reverse, approximating the right speed to unveil the secret.

Reversed recordings came into prominence when artists began seriously using the recording studio as a virtual instrument, experimenting with sound as never before.  Of course, the Beatles led this charge (didn’t they lead it all, really?) – laying down what most to consider to be the first purposefully backwards song element in John’s guitar solo in “I’m Only Sleeping.”  By the late 60s and into the 70s and on, more artists experimented with the novelty of what had become known as “backmasking.”  Soon it was a common recording term, and backwards messages were sometimes put into records as jokes.

As a quick aside – backmasking really got a lot of attention during the whole “Satanic panic” the US went through back in the late 80s and early 90s (they even put Judas Priest on trial for it!).  Turns out that, because words spoken aloud have phonetic reversals that often sound nothing like the word spoken normally (forwards), you can “hear” all sort of interesting things in backwards music (if you listen hard enough, I suppose).  So, while some backwards messages are surely done with purpose, most of the “scary” ones (i.e., “you should commit suicide,” or “here’s to my sweet Satan”) are just backwards gibberish that may resemble a real-English phrase.

Anyway, Kyle and I became obsessed with hearing everything backwards.  We suddenly wanted to hear all our music backwards, chiefly the songs in the book that we already knew and loved.  Problem was, our music wasn’t on vinyl, and we couldn’t simply drag the turntable backwards to hear the hidden secrets.  So, being industrious young lads, we set about perfecting a way of reversing audio cassettes.  Remember, this is before the whole “digital music” thing, even before computers for that matter.  Nowadays one can just download an MP3, drop it into the free audio programs that come with Windows, and go to Effect|Reverse.  Back in the dark ages of my youth, however, things weren’t quite as simple.

In the end, we had “invented” a hand-cranked mechanical contraption, cobbled together from several dissected blank audio cassettes, a paperclip, and some Scotch tape, whereby one could extract a bit of recorded sound on tape, reel it into a “holding” tape, flip the whole machine, re-attach, and reel the whole thing back into the original cassette.  The labor-intensive process effectively cut out a bit of tape, flipped it upside down (remember, even though audio tapes have two “sides” these are just the two halves of the same surface of magnetic tape, not two physical sides), and then spliced it back into the existing tape.  When the magnetic tape-read head interpreted the sound on the tape from the opposite side it was recorded on, you got a perfect-speed (albeit a bit muddy sounding) backwards version of the audio.

Before long, we’d heard everything backwards. The Beatles, Zeppelin, Floyd.  We were wholesale reversing entire 90min tapes of songs, just to listen and see what might be hiding.  Soon, we began to experiment with recorded-and-reversed sounds of our own.  Our names, names of girls we had crushes on, the alphabet, you name it.  Logically, the next step was to then listen to these recorded sounds in reverse, learn to approximate the gibberish they’d become, and then say that into a microphone and reverse it – all to see how close we could get to “talking backwards.”  You think this is silly, but I still remember how to say several things in reverse: “Ian Ichamore,” “And the lost see ‘Nam,” “Turn me on dead man”… they’re still taking up space in the old noggin to this day.

I can remember eagerly attempting to play the notes to “Mary Had A Little Lamb” in reverse order on the old Casio, seeing if we could get it right when the tape was flipped.  I remember reading passages from the Bible, making all manner of sounds like a foley artist just to see what they’d sound like backwards.  We even drew up detailed user instructions for our little reversal machine, diagramming the flow of audio on a cassette tape and showing precisely how to reverse it with our invention.

Somewhere in this house today, in a shoebox, I have that tape-reversing machine and the handwritten user manual (on graph paper, because it was more official of course).

And with that story, I conclude today’s blog.  Goodnight, web denizens.