whatever it is we do on a regular basis

A nice long week in Oregon, away from the hustle and bustle of whatever it is we do on a “regular basis.”

We had a great Thanksgiving.  Spent some much-needed time with family.  Grammy and Grandpa watched Cohen one afternoon while Sharaun and I took Keaton to see the new Disney movie Tangled (which, by the way, I truly enjoyed), and then watched both kids another evening so Sharaun and I could have a nice dinner together.  We needed some time off as a couple I think, I it just reminded me that we have to make time for that more often.  We grabbed some Thai food and bummed around the mall for an hour or so… the kind of “old people” date we’ve come to accept as what we now enjoy more than $12 cocktails, barstools, and thumping bass.  As we trod the aisles of the Hot Topic, lamenting the capitalistic misappropriation of our youth, we happily agreed that we are now “parents” and are fine with it.  Old-people dates: best enjoyed tepid.

I thought today about how the year is already almost over.  Over!  I sometimes don’t understand how time moves so quickly.  Next week I have a mandatory all-day training that lasts three days.  That’ll kill the week.  Two weeks after that and we’re off to Florida to ring in the new year for another couple weeks.  I’ll be a blur, like it always is, and then it’ll be next year and we’ll be racing to Keaton’s birthday and all the other markers that we measure.  I sometimes think I “conceptualize” the passing of time in the wrong ways.  It almost feels like I think about time “in between” these milestones, and sometimes miss what’s happening day-to-day in between.  I’m always thinking about what happened “between” this thing and that thing… I want to start thinking about how long each day itself is – what we can do with the time that’s right on top of us.

Goodnight.

cold turkey

It’s 18° in Oregon and I’ve been cozied-up on the couch at my folks’ place since Monday night.

I had to work yesterday and today, and since a good portion of folks are already on vacation I found myself busier than I expected for what was supposed to be a couple of “slow” holiday workdays.  I found myself feeling guilty, which is wrong, but I had this notion that these would be “easy” working-from-home days and I’d be spending time with family moreso than turning the millstone.  My fault really, if I’d really wanted a vacation I could’ve burned the days instead of trying to cheat them out.  Maybe today will be better.  Maybe it’ll teach me the rest of my lesson.

We got in Monday night around 7pm after a little more than an hour of flight delay.  None of us were groped, scanned, or otherwise molested by the TSA – security was as it’s always been and altogether uneventful.  My mom had a late dinner prepared and waiting for us, which was much appreciated.  Keaton, being excited to finally be at Grammy & Grandpa’s place, was granted a “stay up late” night and got to play until around 10pm.  At about 9:30pm she peeked out the front door and announced that it was “snowing hard.”  Already in her pajamas, she ran to get her shoes and jacket and we both went out into the driveway (me in shorts, an undershirt, and slippers) to make prints in the newly fallen snow.  She really likes that less-than-an-inch of snow.

I’ve got my sights set on Thursday for some turkey, beer, and football.  Brother’s coming over with his wife and the new niece we’ve yet to meet and I’m anticipating an incredibly lazy day spent reading, continually nibbling, and hanging out.

Goodnight.

between classes

There were practice fields at the high school, with dugouts and everything.  Maybe they used to play real games there before my time.

The fields were at an end of the campus I spent little time in; places to practice sports, the auto-shop bays, and the ROTC range.  No surprise then, that I was only ever in the dugout once in my life.  We were both supposed to be in class by the time you showed up.  I was waiting nervously, I’d had to sneak through a chained gate to get onto the field and was worried we’d be seen.  I knew you had to sneak past the same security and liked imagining you sharing the butterflies in my belly.

The longhairs used to play hookey and smoke cigarettes in the dugouts, the reason for the chained gate and butts on the ground.  Neither of us had any cigarettes, but you had a flower-print bra with thick straps and I had a teenage curiosity.  You with your shirt off, outside and all… sun on forbidden skin is really something.  So what if we only had five minutes before the “good kid” in each of us kicked-in, pulling us both back to class after hands came above waistbands, buttons buttoned, and hair straightened.

Amazing what kids can do with a few minutes between classes; the magic of equal parts fifteen, ideas, means, and gumption.

Goodnight.

digging out

People… this week.

Work snowed me in.  I did a lot and put in extra hours to get it done and still came out behind in the end.  Mostly this is because I used about eleven hours of the week to sit down with my employees and talk about “professional development.”

These are those HR-sounding meetings where we talk about goals and expectations and measureables and deliverables.  I spend a lot of time preparing for the things, and then a lot of time actually doing them, and then a lot of time following-up afterward.  In short, they are a lot of work and on top of my regular a lot of work that means things pile up.

I’ll get back to right.  Use today and use some of the weekend and then next week we’ll be in Oregon and I’ll work until Thanksgiving and hopefully the slowness and deadness of the holiday week will allow me some catch-up.

Sorry for the sucky week.  Goodnight.

a family portrait

Sharaun posted this on her Facebook the other day (I know because I lurk), so it’s nothing new to the internet – but I love the drawing so much I wanted to share it here.  I don’t know if it’s as awesome as I think it is, but I’m impressed with the skills of my not-quite five year old up in here.

Above is a drawing of our family, done by Keaton this weekend.  Please note the details:

  • Sharaun’s lovely flowing tresses
  • Cohen lying down, which is pretty much all he does
  • Dad is bald, not a hair to be found
  • The proportions are strikingly reflective of real life; Dad’s the tallest, then mom, then Keaton and Cohen

Other things I love about the drawing:

  • We all appear to be happy and smiling
  • I don’t think Sharaun has arms, or they are hidden in her hair
  • We are legs attached to heads (to be fair, so are all the people Keaton draws)
  • Her handwriting seems consistent and impressive to me (I am her dad, after all)
  • We all have just three fingers

One day I hope to show this to her when she’s older… so cool.

Goodnight.

how i ended up shaving my head

A thorough retrospective.

In the late 1940s, an Alabama-native named Anne met and wed man named Wesley.  A religious man, Wesley introduced Anne to his church – one of the many smaller arms of the protestant Christian faith which sprung from the Restoration Movement of the 1800s.  Soon, Anne found herself “born again.”  Wesley and Anne moved to Florida in the mid-1950s, soon after the birth of their middle child, a daughter, Gail.  Gail inherited her parents’ faith, and after marrying and having her first child, a daughter, my wife, raised her in the church.

Sharaun, that daughter, my wife, grew up in that Southern conservative Christian tradition.  When she turned nine, that daughter sought special permission to go to “Bible camp” a year before she should’ve been allowed to.  For those, like me, who didn’t grow up in the Bible Belt, the notion of a “Bible camp” may sound odd (as it did to me).  But, it’s really just a week-long summer camp with a healthy dose of Jesus.  Sharaun, my wife, Gail’s daughter, Anne’s grand-daughter, loved Bible camp.  She looked forward to it all year long, and went every year without fail  – although they made her be a counselor instead of camper sometime around twenty years old.

It was at that Bible camp, about seventeen years ago, when Sharaun was a sophomore in highschool, she met a girl named Melissa when the two shared a cabin.  Over the next few summers, Sharaun and Melissa would be yearly reunited at Bible camp.  Around the very same time, although definitely not at Bible camp, Sharaun and I started dating.  We’d met five years before that when we were in the sixth grade, but I’d fallen hard for her during that same summer she first met Melissa at Bible camp.  I courted her during those months, eventually won a boyfriend audition as we started dating as we went into our junior year.  The summer before our senior year, Sharaun brought me into the church in much the same way her grandfather did her grandmother.

Three years later, after a couple years of junior college for Sharaun, she and Melissa again shared a cabin at summer Bible camp and discovered that they were planning to attend the same state University.  As it happened, I was also packing bags after two years of junior college and was bound for those same hallowed halls.  Sharaun and I, while not having been together the entire time, had been dating for almost four years when all three of us – Melissa, Sharaun, and myself – converged on that university town to earn our degrees.  The three of us spent three years together being educated, and I got to know Melissa as Sharaun did.

Sharaun and I got engaged in 1999.  That next year we graduated, got married, and moved across the United States, to California, where I’d accepted a job offer.  We kept in touch with Melissa and that first year we were here I surprised Sharaun by inviting her out for Christmas (we were poor beyond belief, using credit card cash advances to pay the rent month to month, and couldn’t go back to Florida as we’d wanted).  Four years later, Melissa decided she wanted a change of scene and uprooted herself from Florida to move to Northern California.  She’d consulted with Sharaun and I on the move, saying she wanted “something different” and taking advantage of an internal transfer through her employer.  She showed up sometime in 2003 (her name is still on the mailbox).

Getting acclimated and looking for a place to stay, Melissa bunked in our guest room for her first month or two in California.  Being co-located, our paths remained intertwined over the years and we stayed close.  Ultimately, she’d end up buying a house just a stone’s throw from our place.

A few years ago Melissa walked up to a hulking man in a dive bar in the city and, boldly out of character, kissed him flush on the lips.  A South African native, Charl was introduced to us as Melissa’s boyfriend a few months later.  Charl, now Melissa’s fiancée, is a beast of man; larger than life, sometimes even intimidating in his ebullience.  Charl is also bald, having begun shaving his head back in college when he discovered his hairline was no longer going to behave.  Like he is with most everything, Charl is passionate about his baldness; and ever since I’ve known him he’s been working on converting me, proselytizing the bald lifestyle and all its associated merits.  Hearing my woe over my thinning crown, he’d urge me to let him bring me into the fold.  I like Charl, and have grown somewhat closer to him too.

Sometime in Spring this year, after a year or more humoring Charl about one day letting him shave my head, I relented and went through with it.  It was after a few beers at an evening barbecue in our backyard.  Fifteen minutes of buzzing and bic’ing and it was done.

Turns out Charl was right; I love being bald.  Now that I’m hairless (at least on top), I’d not have it any other way.  I shave every other day (with a razor, not electric); takes me about ten minutes extra in the shower.

And that’s the story of how I came to shave my head.

Goodnight, and thanks Mimi.