i been around

show flyer from the GAMH
Tonight’s the Broken Social Scene / Stars show in SF. I don’t feel like writing anything about it, but I’ll do the customary wrap-up tomorrow. Remember I snuck my camera into the Death Cab show the night before last? Well, I put together a lil’ movie of the footage I captured during the show. The sound is crappy because the big rock noise easily overpowered the tiny integrated mic, but you can kinda discern enough to bob your head in time. Most of you won’t enjoy it, but I had fun making it – and who knows, maybe there are some closet indie fans reading this thing… Anyway, here it is for broadband and also for dialup (both are sizeable files, so beware).

Evolution of a blogger:


1st grade:
Holy crap that is one cute kid! Don’t worry, I used up all the looks early in life.
       
2nd grade:
Hmm…. looks like I may have been crying, or pinching a loaf. Cuteness definitely on the decline already.

3rd grade:
Ahh… “the teeth years.” Notice at this point I’ve still got a pretty well-defined chin, keep that in mind.
       
4th grade:
Clean-cut, mom still buying clothes… becoming quite the lanky thing too.

5th grade:
Whoa! I’ve obviously had a hand in that t-shirt, and that haircut too! Spiky and bemulleted, I am a force to be reckoned with.
       
6th grade:
Awww… the drugstore clerks would have never suspected this babyfaced darling was stealing cigarettes by the carton and selling them to the track team.

7th grade:
Hmm… what’s it called when you start to look all awkward and your face gets greasy? Oh yeah, puberty – seen here in full, undeniable, effect. Note the “what the crap?!” hairstyle – it only gets worse…
       
8th grade:
What, the, crap. Seriously… The hair, the face, the eyes pointing in two different directions?… The eyebrows, and that smile? My head is a near-perfect sphere I think. Where are my ears? Check out that adams apple! You believe this kid had a steady girlfriend?

9th grade:
Well, at least I look a little more proportioned. I don’t know if I ever even did anything with my hair, it looks so… big. Note the subtle blending of chin and neck, pretty soon the two will complete their synergy and become a single entity.
       
10th grade:
Oh yeah, sophomore year. The height of my hooliganism, you can almost see the authority-defiance in my eyes. I think I look particularly cocksure in this photo – it’s a wonder I didn’t get beat up more.

11th grade:
I brought a picture of Thom Yorke in the “Creep” video with me when I asked for this haircut. Seriously. At the time, I loved it. By this time I’ve ditched most of my old friends for my new girlfriend… a dick move that surely saved me some jailtime or brain damage in the long run.
       
12th grade:
It took me twelve years of school before I looked semi-presentable. Sharaun got me cleaned up pretty nice in the end tho. Here I am with my new hair “style” (with highlights!), some chic earrings, and my soon-to-be-trademark confused smile.

Wow, what a multimedia-rich blog this turned out to be. Movies, pictures, scanned in flyers… I put entirely too much work into these things. I have a lot of other stuff written, maybe I should just throw in a random pre-written paragraph….

Sometimes I go to the bathroom for no other reason than to “run a check.” C’mon, don’t play coy with me… you know what I’m talking about. I mean, sometimes I just get this “feeling,” call it a cautionary thing. I’m sitting on the couch, thinking “things just don’t feel right… maybe I should hit the bathroom for a ‘test wipe’ real quick.” Yeah, I said it, I don’t be carin’. Usually it’s a false alarm, but sometimes… I wonder, perhaps that’s not normal. Maybe I’m not working right, from a functional perspective. Anyway, the way I look at it – at least I go check. Right?

Ahh, much better. OK that’s it. Enjoy the pictures and the movie.

Dave out.

in the first person

being Dave Davis
Four o’clock. Better roll outta here if I’m gonna swing by the house and pick up Sharaun and still be back at work to grab Benz at five. Glad Wes agreed to cover my five o’clock call, that was nice of him. Truck’s gassed up, got a Death Cab mp3 comp for the ride, and Ben said he had the tickets: check, check, and check. Pick up Melissa downtown and we’ll be good to go. Man, I always love rolling into the driveway of the house we own, just always makes me happy.

On the road already. Surprised Sharaun got ready so quickly, I barely had time to scan in some pictures for a future blog article. “Sharaun, can you call Ben and tell him we’ll be at work to get him in a few minutes? Thanks.” I hope traffic isn’t that bad between here and San Fran, I really don’t wanna miss any of Nada Surf’s opening set. “Hey, one of you call Melissa and let her know we’re almost to her building.” No, I don’t care that I’m parked on the sidewalk. What?! OK, I’ll move into this alley. Sheesh, Sharaun is gettin’ on my nerves telling me where to park.

I hope Melissa was her usual diligent self and printed directions to the Fillmore. I know we were just there a couple weeks ago, but I never remember directions. If not, I’ll just work with Ben and combine our memory to get a general idea. Oh, you left the directions in your trunk on accident? That’s cool, I’m sure we’ll be able to find it, even tho I have no idea where to go.

I think it picks up after we merge off 5 onto 80, we’re just stopped because they’re metering. We should be cool. Where you guys wanna eat? Seriously? How can you not like Arbys? I thought everyone liked Arbys. OK, how about Taco Bell? Yeah! In-n-Out sounds good, there’s one off that exit in Davis. Damn, I don’t have any cash. Why don’t I ever have cash? I hate borrowing cash all the time. Sometimes I wish Sharaun would carry some. Owell, thanks for the loan. Number one or number two… hmm… “Lemme have a number one with grilled onions please. No, to go.” Bummer, I shoulda tried out that “animal style” thing Anthony was talking about. Owell. Why the crap is Ben’s burger taking so long?

Eating this burger and driving isn’t that bad, I thought it would be messier, I’m doing a pretty good job here. I know, I’ll just hold the fries and steering wheel at the same time, and hunch over to make sure I don’t drop one on my new Kiss shirt. What’s that? Is that a cop? Was that them talking? Loudspeaker: “If you’re gonna eat, you need to pull over. You can’t eat and drive.” Dang… OK, I’m done anyway. Glad they didn’t decide to be real jerks and pull me over, I was going like 10 over too. That was funny, sounded almost like it was coming from the song on the radio, weird.

Awww crap, the Bay Bridge is all taillights. I think it’s the stupid toll booth, they meter right after it. Crap, how do I get out of this FastTrak lane? Stupid dude, his fault if I almost hit him – creeping into my lane like that. Thanks for the $2 Ben. Yes babe, I know you have to pee – we’ll stop as soon as we’re over the bridge. Come to think of it, I really have to pee too. “What you think Ben, Harrison/Embarcadero or 9th St./Civic Center?” OK, I’m just gonna take Harrison. I am looking for Kearny. Pine, that sounds good – I’m going left on Pine. Kearny! This doesn’t look right… let’s go left on Columbus. I dunno.. I think there’s an SF map in the back pocket back there. Chevron, we can pee here. Melissa and Ben can figure out where we are while we go.

South on Kearny? OK no problem. Right on Geary, cool. There’s that AMC Kabuki – we’re getting close. Can’t miss that dang u-turn again, remember it’s impossible to get to going this direction. Thanks. We’re making good time, it’s only ten after eight. We should catch Nada Surf no problem since that ham-n-egger is opening. Is that a spot right there? Awesome! Ben, can you get out and direct me? How much room do I have. Sweet, that was an easy parallel.

It’s not really that cold, I wonder if I should take off the undershirt? Hold on while I shove this camera in my boxers. Wow, it’s not that uncomfortable… too bad it’s nestled between my jewels and a-hole. Owell. Wait hang on, I’m gonna have to readjust here… this thing wants to migrate… OK, cool. Sorry, no extras. They patting down? It’s just a bottle opener on my keychain – I’ve had it since 5th grade. “Hey Melissa, the ladies room is to the left.” I’m gonna hit the men’s room myself and do a camera extraction. Dude! That’s Nada Surf on right now! It’s only 8:20, wassup? The tickets say doors at 7!? Owell, that sucks – but at least we’re here. Guys, check it out! That’s Vanderslice over there… that guy is everywhere.

Man, the pictures are coming out all blurred. It’s the low light. Dang, they sound great – I always love the sound here, great acoustics. I’ll just set it on “auto” instead of “manual” low-light. Awesome! Much better. Hey, let’s press up to the stage now while people leave between sets. Awesome, this is a really good spot. I should be able to get some good pics from here.

Wow, Gibbard looks different than I remember. Holy crap they sound great. Yeah, that girl in the pink is cute. Lotta older stuff so far huh? Pictures seem to be coming out so/so depending on the stage lighting at the time. Oh, I’ll take a movie! Wow, this is awesome – seems to be picking up a lot more of the light, and I should be getting sound too. Why can’t I zoom while taking a movie? That kinda blows. Oh crap I haven’t cleared the memory card… running low. Deleting Halloween pictures that I’ve already saved. Awesome.

What a great set. Gibbard’s voice sounds excellent. A Cure cover?, that’s cool. That thing with his shoes was hilarious. Hope the encore lasts a while. Bob head, sing along, hold Sharaun’s hands and massage her shoulders. Good temperature in here, that fan feels good. My knees are getting tired. Great encore, these guys rock live. I really think they are one of my favorite modern bands, so creative. Cool poster, I love that you always get a poster from Fillmore shows.

No, I’ll just drive until I see a Bay Bridge sign. There’s one. Anyone need to pee? Shell station, OK. I dunno, tune the iTrip to 88.7 FM. That thing sucks, what’s up with the static? Forget it, let’s just listen to cd’s. They’re all scratched… I need to take better care of them, this sucks. Dang I’m getting tired. No Krispy Kreme tonight, I’m not even bringing it up. We have a chance to get in bed before 3am this time. Half a tank should be enough.

“See you guys later, drive careful.” Can’t wait to get in bed. 1:22am, not too bad. Not much worse than a regular late-night. The sheets are cold, I love that feeling. Your hands are freezing, like ice. Hey Keeper, how ya been? Sleepy.

“Had a good time tonight, you? Yeah, me too. I love you. Goodnight.”

fighting chance

no really, it's a line from Magical Mystery Tour
Tonight is the Death Cab / Nada Surf show in SF. I’m gonna try and sneak my camera in with me and take some pix for tomorrow’s blog. After that we have the Wednesday show in SF, and then our concert rush is over for a while. I’m glad, because as much as I love going to shows, I get tired of being tired the next day. Too bad Sacramento can’t get the big indie names like San Francisco can, would be a much shorter drive.

This weekend was a good one for new tunes. Wednesday at work I read a Pitchfork album review of a group called the Unicorns, which garnered really high marks. Like clockwork, someone posted it to absmi that evening. I grabbed two Unicorns albums, and on Sunday Benz recommended I check absmi again for another favorably reviewed album by a group called the Wrens. Man, the Unicorns albums are excellent – and from my brief run at the Wrens it is also awesome. Those new albums, combined with the new hotness that is the Decemberists, makes November a watershed month for new music. Finally some sweet new tunes to listen to.

Speaking of Ben, he’s got some new pictures up on his website which are worth checking out. I’m kinda envious of the new Flash-based album layout, but whatever. Take a gander if you’re bored.

I have a pretty high tolerance for just about everything. If you charted my tolerance for stuff, I think it would look something like this. See, I get unnaturally crazy over some really dumb stuff – but can generally take commonly deemed “major” crises in stride. My car gets crashed into? Somewhere towards the middle of the graph, so taken very lightly by me. I lose my job? I’m upset, but not irrational. Actually, the “breakdown” axis is somewhat misleading in that I don’t mean it’s when I would be “broken down” in the sense of being mentally frazzled – I’m rather referring to a state of “breakdown” that would cause something like tears or irrational behavior. What I mean is, the things that tend to make me punch walls, say things I wish I hadn’t, cuss and swear when I shouldn’t – these are the “breakdown” or loss-of-control type things I’m talking about. If my truck got stolen, yeah I would waste a lot of brainpower thinking how sucky it is, but it wouldn’t push my buttons in such a way that I might lose control and throw things, or cry.

Things that would normally really piss someone off usually roll off me with ease (although that’s not at all a 100% thing). Likewise, things that other people might shrug off as “a bummer” or “no big deal” tend to really get under my skin. It’s a blessing and a curse. I can take so much without flinching that I’ve been praised before for my “level-headed” reaction to complicated situations, whereas I’ve also been criticized for letting stupid little things make me fly off the handle. Sharaun probably sees it the most.

I tend to be my most calm and logical-thinking right after something “terrible” has just gone down. It’s like I get this moment of clarity where I realize that whatever just happened really isn’t that big of a deal, and then my brain kicks in and starts thinking on what to do next. However, when something small happens, it seems like my brain forgets logic and tells my fist to punch an inanimate object or my mouth to say something I’ll regret. Hit a kid on a bike?: Stop the car, deep breaths, save his life and get in the newspaper. Hit my thumb with a hammer?: Yell cursewords at the top of my lungs, throw the hammer at the ground, and punch the wood I’m working on. See – it’s not the best approach to things. Even more stupid, my response to unexpected pain is to do something without thinking that more often than not causes me even more pain. Example? I stub my toe on the door, get insanely mad because it hurts, punch the doorframe – and hurt my hand.

I think, nay know, that my tolerance for stuff came directly from my dad. I lived with my folks until I was almost 20, and in that time I rarely saw my dad get mad. In fact, if I think about it – I bet he’s the exact same way. I’ve seen him crazy-aggravated over tiny things; and then seen him take big, seemingly earthshattering, events without so much as a hitch in his getalong. This laissez faire attitude rolls over into all aspects of my personality. Not much upsets me, and you have to do a heck of a lot to provoke me to anger, even more to get me to manifest that anger into violence. I’ve been in only a few fights, but I think I’ve won them all because I am so fired up by the time I’m moved to hitting that it’s pure adrenaline. Either that or because I’m fat and always have a weight advantage… Here’s a semi-complete pictorial review of my fighting history:

6th grade: I punched this kid because he would not get off the computer and I wanted to use it.

6th grade:  I punched this kid because he cut in front of me at the water fountain.

7th grade: I punched this kid because he tried to take some candy off my desk.

12th grade (no pic avail):  I fought this kid because he pushed Sharaun. She helped out by kicking him in the ribs while I sat on him and repeatedly punched the back of his dome. We both got suspended.

Well I wrote three paragraphs but I’m not convinced I said what I wanted to say at all. I’m a pacifist, but not a weakling. I’ll send my food back if it’s wrong, but I’m not an asshole. Rather than confront you, I’ll ignore you. I’ll talk about you behind your back, but rarely tell you how I really feel. I’m longsuffering, but won’t let you walk all over me. The less I like you, the less likely I am to get into a “fight” with you. Conversely, the closer we are, the more likely I am to be willing to get into it with you. There ya go, that’s all I gotsta say about that.

See, no stories from 8th grade. No love letters, no drug overdoses. Just writing. I can do it after all.

Dave out.

out of the past

it wasn't quite this bad... but the house is kinda drafty now...
Hey, I got stuff to write!

Last night Wes came over to help me with another “project” I’ve been wanting to do. The puny one-bulb wall light that came in our garage is just not enough to light that place up. Since it’s attached to a switch inside the laundry room, I’ve been wanting to rewire that switch to ignore that tiny light and instead control a new shop light that I would mount from the garage rafters. Sounds easy enough right? Problem is, I’m cursed.

When it comes to “mechanical” projects I am utterly hopeless. Murphy’s Law seems to be in full effect every time I have to use hammer, nail, drill or saw. It’s just the way it’s always been. I have a feeling I inherited it, because I can remember helping my dad and uncle hang paneling in our spare room once – you know where you slather the back of the paneling with something not unlike Liquid Nail and press it against the existing wall? Yeah, we got about three or four panels in place and realized we had been hanging them upside down. Too bad that glue binds stronger than anything on earth… we just hung the rest upside down. Pretty little flowers, all growing right down towards the floor. There are so many more examples… but I think you get the idea.

Anyway, since Wes had successfully done some wiring projects at his house – his resume impressed me, so I asked if he wouldn’t mind helping me out. Being the sucka he is, he graciously agreed. He had previously hung a shop light in his own garage, as well as put in a couple ceiling fans and done other miscellaneous projects. He also once recounted to me a story in which, during one of his projects, he managed to put a knee through his ceiling from the attic. Sounded bad, but I wasn’t worried. Looking back, I shoulda realized that Wes had a history…

We made a couple trips to the Home Depot (see, you can never go to the HD only once for a project… it always requires at least two trips – one usually involving a return or exchange) to get the necessary tools and materials. After which we studied the problem, ordered some iffy take-out Chinese, and got ready to work. The initial work went great, we hung the shop light and drilled a new wire hole in the in the to-be-bypassed light wiring box, all in little time. With our spirits up, we headed into the attic with the fish tape to drop a new wire into the existing light box.

Fishing wires through existing walls is hard; not to mention supremely frustrating. I don’t think anything can be as aggravating as trying to hit a 1″ area from above with a metal tape, and doing it all blind, while breathing dust and insulation. After much cussing and sweating, we finally managed to fish a wire through. After some wire-nutting, drilling, and breaker-tripping, we finally managed to get everything done. I now have a super bright shop light hooked to the switch. It’s like noon in that garage now, I love it.

Ahhh… but I skipped the good part… As we were toiling in the attic trying to fish the wire through the garage wall – Wes Vila struck again. Yup, you got it right. Crash! Right through our laundry room ceiling. All I can say is, I managed to not fall through the roof… maybe the effects of gravity are slightly more on Wes than all other humans or something. Anyway, check it out:


wes’ hole, i stuck my hand thru and “pointed” in case you couldn’t see it
       
every time we open or close the garage door, a snowstorm of insulation comes raining down

despite wes’ “accident,” i have a beautiful new shop light!
       
my attempt to get the switch action and new light in the same shot… worked ok i suppose.

Anyway, I still gotta thank Wes for coming and helping me out. New skylight notwithstanding, we got a lot done in one evening – and my new light is awesome!! Although I did have to update my “list of jobs I think I might like:”

  • Farmer
  • Mammographer
  • Special Effects Wizard
  • Video Game Tester
  • Fishing Show Host
   
  • Firework Maker
  • Standup Comedian
  • Rock Star
  • Retaining Wall Builder
  • Home Wiring Expert

Did you guys notice the comment from “Shaine” on the blog yesterday? Holy crap man, lemme ‘splain a little.

Shaine and I were best buds way back in 5th grade. I’m pretty sure we were the two coolest kids at our whole school, at least that’s what we thought. We “owned” the last two swings on the line of swingsets (the farthest from the schoolbuildings, so we could cuss and tell dirty jokes without fear of punishment). If people were in them, they would actually get out when they saw us coming. Shaine lived across the field from me, and we used to run across the field and climb his backyard fence when going between houses (the farmer didn’t like it very much). Man, did we have some awesome times… I’ll write about them sometime. I just wanted to mention it because it blew my mind to finally talk to him again (on IM). Thanks for reading, and commenting. If all goes well – we plan to hook up again when I go down to visit my folks next, possibly even visit some of our old haunts in Lompoc. I’m totally pumped.

Finally, sorry this blog is so late… but honestly, it’s pretty big and kinda complicated. Little images and bulleted lists in tables, man… crazy. Hope you enjoyed it.

Dave out.

wasting time

which of you gen-x'ers out there can spot this?
Late and light blogging today, as usual I wrote the entry last night, but didn’t get a chance to upload right away. My apologies to the blog-faithful (do they exist?). Holy crap I found a fun website last night. Check this out, it’s a sincere site that allows you to make custom “safety signs,” printable ones at that. Doesn’t look terribly fun right? But oh man is it. I played around with it for a while last night and created some signs. I made this one and this one and this one and this one and this one and, just in case, this one.

Pat sent me this link today, I got a chuckle from it. The Onion always comin’ correct with quality. I never thought of hiding my blog from the moms and/or pops, I think they pretty much know I’m a good lil’ kid now – and they probably pretty much know what a bad lil’ kid I was so long ago. Either way, they gonna find out.

Mercedez Benz is in Taiwan right now, but when he gets back we got a new load of concertin’ to do. We have the much-anticipated Death Cab / Nada Surf show, as well as the possible wildcard show from Broken Social Scene / The Stars. Should be a good week!

OK I’m spent. Brain frazzled, not in a writing mood. Enjoy the signs, enjoy the links, bash the article in the comments… whatever.

Dave out.

playing with fire

this bear hates me... if we were in a cartoon i would be his nemesis
I actually get a little embarrassed to “publish” some of the dumber things I’ve done, but the blog has kinda morphed into this two-purposed thing. One: to document what’s going on in the present, and two: to write down funny stories from the good ol’ days. I try not to glorify the bad stuff too much, to me now it’s mostly just head-shakingly funny. You know, like “oh man I was an idiot back then,” chuckle chuckle. Anyway, I did it, and I like writing about it, so I’m gonna keep doin’ it I suppose. Meeting Sharaun really cleaned me up, thank God – and I’m no longer the awful miscreant I once was. Don’t hate me for what I was, love me for what I am. Hopefully most of the stuff is back beyond the statute of limitations of my hometown PD.

I can trace my fascination with fire back to such a young age that it’s hard for me to believe. The very first place in this world that I can actually remember is our house in Huntington Beach. We lived there until I was somewhere between five and six years old, so you gotta realize these aren’t the best memories. However, one of the most vivid memories I do have of those times involves fire. I had gone a couple houses down from ours to play with a friend, who I think was older than I was. We somehow ended up with a book of matches. I remember I lit a match and burned the crap out of my finger. I remember wanting to cry and run to mom, but knowing I’d be in trouble. I hid the burn from my folks. That’s my very first memory of fire, you’d think it would have deterred me from further experiments. (I know it seems strange to think that I was playing with matches at five, but I swear my memory is correct on this one. I’ve tried to imagine it happening at other ages and in other houses – and it was definitely back in Huntington Beach. Can you even talk when you’re five and half?)

Growing up, I have memories of staring into campfires for hours, begging Grandpa to let me strike the long match and start the fireplace, and biking around on the 5th of July to collect the spent fireworks people left in the street (I loved that burnt smell).

My next real memory of “playing with fire” comes sometime near the 4th grade I think. I convinced my dad’s dad to let Frank and I “shoot” matches in the backyard one day. My parents weren’t home, and he let us hold the match to the strike pad on the side of the box and “flick” the matches into the air as they lit up. We shot matches in the backyard for a while, thinking it was so cool. (Actually, I can remember feeling genuinely guilty for asking my grandfather to let us do that. I knew my folks wouldn’t allow it, and I also knew that my Grandpa probably wouldn’t object. I remember feeling like I had “used” him, and to this day that feeling of guilt still sticks to that memory).

Probably sometime shortly after that, I had another experience in the same backyard with “shooting” matches. Our neighbors on the one side had a stone wall instead of a regular wooden fence. I was arcing lit matches over the wall, why – I have no idea. Luckily for me nothing caught fire (I don’t think I was really thinking of the possibility anyway). However, I also didn’t think of my neighbor finding a small pile of burnt matches in his backyard. He came over and told my folks, and next thing I know my mom is taking Frank and I down to the fire department. Once there, we got a nice tour of the building – and then got sat down for a lesson on “playing with matches.” I remember the fireman being stern but nice, and I remember thinking we were in trouble, but I don’t think anything ever really came of it.

I think the remainder of my gradeschool years were relatively fireplay free, although I do recall spraying words on Ryan Lopez’s fence with hairspray and lighting them on fire. I think I must have chilled out for a while though.

When we moved to Florida, I met a group of friends who were as pyro-crazy as I was. In 6th grade we learned how to make what we called “napalm” (really just styrofoam dissolved in gasoline). We used to keep a coffee can full of it hidden behind a friend’s house, and pull off the sticky chunks to light and throw around. I remember learning that Brut stick-style deodorant burned, and frequently lighting mine on fire in my room. We also developed some crazy game where we’d spray our forearms with Off! and light them on fire, to see who could last the longest without waving themselves out. Joey discovered that aerosol white lithium grease is perhaps the most flammable aerosol on the planet, and burns forever. I can remember sneaking out at night with friends and us all pouring lines of gas in the street so we could light them and “race” the flames down the line. Filling mason jars with gas, tying them to string above a campfire and shooting at them with BB guns. Trying to make the “hearts and diamonds” bomb from the Anarchist Cookbook (probably tweaked out on “bananadine” at the time – Anarchist Cookbook joke, sorry). And always having a stash of fireworks to play with. For a couple years, I wore this old army jacket everywhere I went. We all had one, all filled with various “useful” tools. Matches and ladyfingers were a staple item in the jackets.

Sometime around the end of middle school, our firelust got dangerous. I can recall starting at least five fires in the woods, a couple of them being fairly large. I think there were more than that, but there are only five that I can specifically remember. There would be four of us, each with a book of matches. We’d walk in a line, shoulder to shoulder through dry brush. With each step we’d “shoot” lit matches over our shoulders until the books were empty. The rule was that you couldn’t turn around or look back until all the matches were gone. No matter what you heard or felt, you could only look back when it was done. Oh man, did that ever work. We used to run away and come back later to watch the firetrucks put out our work. Gawd… we were truly horrible.

At this point in my life, I consider myself lucky. I’m not dead, and I’m not in jail. I did so many stupid and just plain mean things. For the record, I no longer burn things? and my love of fire is now limited to campfire gazing and firework watching. And for an afterschool special wrap-up: What I did was dumb. Don’t ever do it. I’m actually pretty ashamed of a lot of the stupid stuff we did, but I can’t erase it, so I might as well write about it. In fact, I went back through my journal and searched for fire-related stories – there are a couple really good ones related to specific incidents (the “Tex fire” and the “tire fire” in particular). I’d put ’em in here, but they’d triple the size of this already bloated and boring entry.

I promise I’ll write something worth reading again soon… promise. Dave out.

pictures in the dirt

thick like a milkshake
Thinking back on it, I’ve pretty much been a huge nerd from day one. Wait… you mean you’re only reading this so you can find the link to the Halloween gallery? OK, here she is: Halloween Bash ’03 in Pictures. Back to the subject at hand: I’ve never liked sports, mostly because I’ve never been any good at them. I suffer from some huge insecurity about organized sports. I get out on the field, court, diamond, whatever? try my best, and look like a fool. There’s almost nothing in the world that can make me blush in shame or embarrassment? sports can.

Oh, I’m not bad at quasi-sports. I can play a pretty good round of disc golf. I’m OK at horseshoes, darts, and bowling. I’m an OK shot with a .22 or bb gun, been known to take out a lizard from a hundred paces with the latter. I just realized all those sports are solo things, you don’t really have to “pass” or coordinate. Maybe that has something to do with it. I dunno, I’ve just always sucked at sports so I’ve always stayed away from them.

I played AYSO soccer when I was young, maybe 1st/2nd grade or something. I was goalie, but I mostly sat down under the net and drew pictures in the dirt with sticks. My cue to wake up was the parents and coach yelling that the ball was coming. I vaguely remember taking wrestling lessons at the YMCA or Boys Club or something (which seems really odd now, thinking about it), I sucked at that too I’m pretty sure. I recall taking karate for a while, I can still remember how to count to like three in Chinese or something – but that’s about it. I’m fairly sure I took swimming lessons at the local public pool around 4th grade, don’t think I ever got deep-end privileges. I tried to play baseball at my little brother’s birthday party and ended up cracking some girl in the head with a bat. Her parents sued us. I sucked at kickball in gradeschool, and flag football in middle school. I sucked at volleyball and basketball in high school gym. Pretty much if there’s a sport, I’ve either sucked at it or not tried it due to me being afraid of all sports.

Much to my surprise, I tried to play soccer with some guys from work this year. I really sucked, but I was incredibly proud that I even got out there and ran around. No one has any idea how unbelievably hard it was for me to put on that uniform and drive to the field. To feign “stretching” and “running” before the game, like I knew what I was doing. It’s so strange but when I’m attempting sports, I feel like every move I make is under a microscope. When I’m trying – everything I do is potentially humiliating, and my lack of skill just compounds it. So much so that the smallest criticism makes me wanna quit to spare myself the embarrassment. Thankfully, I injured myself trying to snowboard (which I also suck at) and didn’t get to play in too many games. I wonder where that fear came from? I know it’s dumb, but I must have developed it somehow.

A geek from day one, I remember writing a “what do I want to be” essay in gradeschool where I said I wanted to be an “animatronics engineer.” That’s right, that’s what I wanted to be? in like 3rd grade or something. They are the dudes that work on the electronic puppet things like the Country Bear Jamboree. I imagined working on something like Westworld when I grew up, helping make special effects type fake people and animals. Several times in the 5th grade, I brought in my electronics kit to show off what I’d made. A decibel meter, a door security alarm, a three note piano, etc. Sheesh, what a nerd.

Changing subjects, what’s a playa gotta do to get a pair of jeans that fit? I wonder how much it costs to get some custom jeans made?? because apparently no one else has measurements like me. There are three key aspects of “fit” I look for in jeans. Can I button and zip them? Can I wear them without having to roll up the legs? And can I walk in them without there being what I call “stress lines” going from pocket-to-crotch? I usually end up getting one out of three, and more often than not it’s the waist. I have to settle for too-long legs and Chinese-finger-trap-style thigh-constriction. Ugh.

Anthony says the caliber of the blog articles is slipping. He predicts I will abandon the blog eventually. I’m not so sure, I’m having more fun writing and posting it online than just writing. It motivates me to write more, which is cool. So I think the blog is here to stay, maybe with no one reading it… but it’ll be here. Also I hate Anthony.

Dave out.