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homeland security


Back in the good ol’ US-of-A after a long week in Taiwan, mostly spent not blogging.

Y’know, I’m not one of those folk who put a lot of stock in vitamin supplements, herbs, fish oils or flax seed. However, I do take a daily multivitamin; and I actually think it does some good. For example, while in Taiwan last week, I made sure I faithfully took my two Mega Man pills a day – I have this unspoken (until now) fear that, should I forget them one day, I would somehow be sapped of strength and energy. This becomes more important when trying to keep the sleepless pace of a “business trip” to Taiwan. Part of the reason I have confidence in the power of my Mega Man is because, anomalous or not (but almost certainly so), my last couple cases of the common cold have happened to manifest right after I’ve run out of them. I did entertain the idea that perhaps GNC actually puts some common cold bacteria in each pill, but also puts in enough common cold antidote (something that exists only in this particular evil-GNC fantasy) in each to stave off contraction. Then, when you run out of pills, the virus can take root… or something like that. So, conspiracy or not – I fell for the Mega Man bit 100%. Wait, was this paragraph going anywhere?

Come October 7th, we’ll be able to schedule our sex-ID sonogram for Lil’ Chino; that’s two weeks from today (right?). This is the sonogram where we’ll be able to tell how sexy Lil’ Chino will be. I have my own thoughts, being that he’ll be the offspring of super-sexy me and uber-sexy Sharaun – but, from what I’ve heard, the sonogram will be able to tell us for sure. I’ll figure he’ll swagger out of my wife’s vagina, swishing a gold cane in front of him; wearing a crushed velvet smoking jacket and smoking a cigarette, faint echoes of Barry White wafting from his former home. The nurses will immediately faint at the sight of his thick, luxurious, and impeccably styled quaff, and his jewel-encrusted umbilical cord will fetch thousands at Christies. What? That’s not what the sonogram is about? Really? Oh; I see. I guess it’ll be good to know if he’s a boy or girl too – but I think the sexy test would be better.

I was forced to watch the Emmy’s last night. Oh. My. God. I sat through the opening “performance” by Earth Wind & Fire and the Black Eyed Peas – where they changed the words to one of those super-recognizable EW&T “smooth jams” from words about love and humpin’ to words about TV and TV shows. Seriously people. The Black Eyed Peas were up there rhyming about Everybody Loves Raymond and Desperate Housewives. Man, I hope those guys got paid a buttload of money for that – as it was one of the most embarrassing thing I’ve seen in a while. I was actually embarrassed for the Black Eyed Peas up there, spitting game about such gritty “keepin’-it-real” topics as Must See TV and TGIF. It’s a good thing the BEP aren’t a real rap/hip-hop outfit and don’t expect to be taken seriously, that way they don’t run the risk of ruining their reputation as serious artists. For real, I heard they’ll rap about Gynolotramin and Preparation H if the check is big enough.

Listening to McCartney’s new album… y’know, because my love for music was born with, and will always be with, his early efforts with the best band in the history of time: the Beatles. Macca’s solo output over the years has been hit or miss for me. The early stuff was great, and some of the pre-late-70s Wings is simply outstanding. Then there’s the albums I don’t know very well, and don’t dig that much. I adored Flaming Pie, and then there was that last one that was OK. First listen to this one and I dunno… some slow jams, some rock tinkering, but it’s most assuredly McCartney. I’ll reserve judgment until I can manage a few more listenings. But either way – rock on Sir Paul, glad to see you still turning out wax.

Goodnight folks, I love ya all.

Posted on

nothrything

Cha-chung.
I got my 30-nights-stay “thank you” letter from the hotel last night; one entire month of my 2005 was spent at this hotel. They gave me three-thousand Taiwan dollars worth of free food or beer or whatever. Yeah, just what I need: “free” beer. For the first time on this trip, I’m simply sitting in my room doing nothing. So I decided I’d try and at least get one proper entry done before my regulars bail on me.

I did write this week, despite what the calendar shows. I started and never finished an entry a day, on average. As proof (for some reason), here’s a potpourri of unfinished stuff from this past week, at least it’s better than nothing:

3000 miles into the trip and I’ve exhausted the visual media I borrowed from the internet for the flight. That internet, he’s a great guy, loaned me the Family Guy movie and Fox screener of the O.C.’s season-opener for the flight. With both consumed and enjoyed, I’m at the point where I type for a bit and listen to music, at least, until I get tired of typing and decide to nap. On a plus note, I’m listening to this extremely 60s-tinged Field Music album, which is quite enjoyable. Reminding me a bit of the Shins, and strangely like a less-prog Yes at times, I think; damn fine, whoever they sound like.

I already miss my wife, now-lonely as I fly and future-lonely over the prospect of two other long-distance trips before the year’s out: Shanghai in October and Bangalore in December. In some way, I hope both trips materialize, as I’ve never been to either place – and am particularly interested in seeing India. I suppose it’s better to get the traveling out of the way before Lil’ Chino comes, since I doubt I’ll want to be away for very long afterward. Meaning this year is my boon year for travel, as well as my travel swansong of sorts.

A shorter one:

Been no time to write y’all, no time.

Throat is scratchy from beer and cigarettes and belting out exaggerated versions of such karaoke standards as “House of the Rising Sun,” “Hotel California,” “Friends in Low Places,” and “The Final Countdown.”

An ambitious one with no hope of being completed:

Taiwan, the text-based adventure game version.

You are standing in the lobby of an opulent hotel. All around you, people in tuxedos are waiting to serve you, and all flat surfaces are made of marble. A man is happily polishing anything brass. To your left is the concierge desk. To your right, a staircase. In front of you, a set of large glass doors, and two immaculately dressed doorman who are eagerly awaiting the opportunity open them for you.

>left

You are standing at the foot of a staircase which is, of course, made entirely of marble. The staircase winds around and around upward and out of sight. Above you, hear can hear the faint strains of piano and laughter.

>climb staircase

You begin up the winding stair. As you crest the top, ahead of you is a dimly lit open room. It’s hard to see from here, but it appears to be a bar, and you can now better make out the sound of clinking glass and conversation.

>shit

You can’t shit here.

>damn

There is no one here to damn.

>go to bar

You walk toward the BAR. The floor opens up to your right, looking down on the lobby where you stood moments below, a large crystal chandelier hangs from the ceiling. As you come to the entrance of the bar, you can now make out couples hunched over drinks and shelves of bottles on the wall. There is a sign at the entrance to the bar.

>read sign

“Henry’s Bar, Sherwood Hotel, Taipei.”

>eat sign

You cannot eat the sign.

>make knuckle-babies.

Does not compute.

>enter bar

You walk inside. The friendly staff immediately recognizes you for the VIP pimp you are, and ushers you to a seat at the large marble bar.

>check pockets

You rifle through your POCKETS. You find a wallet with several thousand dollars of local currency, a room key, and a cellphone.

And, I have no earthly idea what this one is or when this week I wrote it – but it was in my drafts folder and made me laugh so hard when reading it, I had to post it:

World population growth rate in light of human and technological development making life much safer than living in caves and dealing with your food not wanting to die so you can eat.

Bought a fake watch this time in Taipei. Lots of people do it, and I guess I caved to the pressure. Somehow, I either lost or forgot to bring my watch on this trip. I never realized how much I looked at the thing until it wasn’t on my wrist all the time. It’s a fake TAG, which the fake-watch man told me retails for like $2500 if it’s real; I paid $70. At least I got a new watch, even if it does scream “pompus brand-whore” quietly from my undeserving wrist.

What an ugly entry. Goodnight.

Posted on

tied to the mast

Mizzen you already.
Hey folks! Check it out!

The 10/12Z notations are dates slash times. If you look, between 12 Zulu on September 10th and 12 Zulu on September 11th, typhoon Khunan will grace Taiwan with its presence. Doing the Zulu-to-local conversion (providing my math is right, I never was good with time), that puts this thing in Taiwan sometime between 8pm Saturday and 8pm Sunday. My flight is due to arrive in Taipei at 8:15pm Saturday night. It’s almost like Khunan and I got together and planned it!

Direct hit?

Swirling red wine in a glass at Wayne’s place… midnight on the eve of my departure. Too much wine, really… stubborn fingers are ugly on the keyboard.

Goodnight, fare-me-well. Until next week, in Taiwan. Goodnight.

Posted on

grammar is hard

So long, farewell.
A productive Wednesday for me, how about y’all? Hit the bermudagrass with round-two of the Turflon today. Did it while at home for my lunch break, since I had the evening booked with getting a haircut, paying bills, and mowing the lawn. Check and check, I’m firm on the path to being ready for my flight to Taiwan Friday morning.

I know this thing really isn’t a “music blog,” or anything… so I’d guess that most folks who read this simply skip over my frequent musical musings. That’s cool with me, really. I’m just trying to give you a heads-up, I’m about to talk a little bit about music right now.

As 2005 draws to a close, my mind moves toward Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and that favorite annual staple of all music fans: the year-end “Best Of” lists. As much as I love hopping around the web for all the ‘zine and personal best-ofs, I enjoy putting together my own list more. This year’s list will be sounds familiar’s third annual Best Of list, such and accomplishment. And this year, I went about it a little different. The two years prior, I simply sat around sometime in December and cast my mind back over the musical landscape that made up the year. It’s often tough to remember what had me singing and smiling ten months earlier… but I think I’ve done a fair job at it so far. This year, thanks to the beauty of WordPress’s “draft” feature, I’ve been keeping a running “candidate for the list” list (WordPress’s? WordPress’?). As an album becomes endeared to me throughout the year, I jot it down in my draft entry. The way I envision it, I’ll go back and sample each candidate album as I sit down to write the list… heck, I may even do a “Top 15” this year since I may have some help remembering, what with the draft and my use of audioscrobbler (or whatever it’s called now). Draft entries are cool for all sorts of reasons, take for example my running draft: “If I die, please post this.” How cool would it be to “pen” one final entry from the grave. Mwuh-ah-ah-ah!!

I likely won’t write Friday, and this hardly counts as writing today. So… goodnight.

Posted on

output enabling

Patterns... mmmm...
Wednesday already, wow. Two more days and I’m off to Taiwan [cut to stock footage: Dave wants to go, but also doesn’t want to go]. Sitting at home and having a beer after a strange day of “now I’m a manager” realizations at work… where I’m finally realizing I have to “let go” of the stuff I used to covet and start focusing on more intangible things. For someone that craves the little gold stars on the top of good work, it’s a tough transition. Scary, actually, when your goals shift from a personal-output-based model to an output-you-enabled one. I take heart, though, that I at least “get” that, and that I’m cognizant enough to recognize and do my best to address it.

So yeah, I’m late to the Cloud Room party… dunno what happened there – guess you can’t be first to every party. Another one of the out-of-the-bowels-of-NYC wunderkind, their debut single is impossible to hate… seriously, listen to it try to think nasty thoughts about it. Put it on your headphones and think about punching it in the face, see how impossible it is. Give it a spin and try and make a disparaging remark about its mother, you won’t be able to; the dang thing is disarming. I say we give this track to the Army, have them aim humongous loudspeakers at Al Qaeda training camps, and play it over and over again. Then, rather than ascribe to extremist Muslim theology, prospective terrorists will instead clasp hands and dance around euphorically in a circle, smiling ear-to-ear while singing “… we’re goin’ downtown, take the bus there, pay the bus fare!!…” in broken English. It’s OK terrorists; it’s OK that your body wants to bounce around in its seat, OK that you “duh-duh-duh” along with the bassline, it really is OK – Allah said so, he digs the Cloud Room too – I saw him at the show at CBGB last week… he really knows how to let his turban down.

This weekend, I was finally able to see Sharaun’s pooch. Wow, that sounds massively dirty… but I assure you it’s much more academic than that. What I mean is, I can now see the beginnings of Lil’ Chino’s expanding 9-month lease. To me, this is huge; this is what I’ve been waiting for – even more validation than the indisputable ultrasound images we got weeks ago. Her growing belly is the physical evidence of progress that I’ve been craving! It puts my mind at ease, and makes me tingle with a heady mixture of anticipation and pride. It really is impossible I explain, I think, what a brick-wall realization it is. Lil’ Chino is more than halfway here… 55% here, to be exact. Thinking about February, it still seems interminably far away… but more than ever I’m realizing it’ll be on us in a flash. I guess I won’t even fully understand it until it happens, 5-months and counting in some semi-disconnected state of shock and no sign of the fog lifting in time. Bring it on, Lil’ Chino, bring it on.

Bedtime. Goodnight.

Posted on

nuggetless

Eureka!
Happy long weekend people… hope it was enjoyable for you. We had a great time, and made sure to temper any “word” with plenty of do-nothing relaxation. Looking forward to another short week now, leaving early Friday morning for Taiwan. I’m excited, although I haven’t really prepared for the presentation I’m giving… I guess it’ll be another last-minute cram thing – at least I’m used to it. Bring it on.

Gold mining this weekend was a bust, but a fun bust. Camping was awesome, the weather was great and there weren’t many others out there so we had some privacy. I think everyone enjoyed themselves. There’s a certain draw to car-camping… being able to throw all the amenities in the truck and drive right to your spot. We had the big tent, the air mattress, camp-chairs, soap, etc. You get the good food, the coolers full of beer, all the luxuries of home. I brought my pipe, wore my ridiculous (but dearly beloved) crushable felt cowboy hat, and spat sunflowers seeds while dozing under the sun. As for the mining, after some trial and error, the pump and motor worked perfectly – pumping large volumes of water. I, however, had chosen to leave my grandfather’s true sluice at home, since it was nearly 30ft long and somewhat cumbersome being made of heavy tin. I opted, instead, to bring a small plastic store-bought sluice which I knew would likely be too small for the volume of water moved by the pump. I was right as, even on the lowest throttle setting, there was too much water on the sluice, and it washed away everything you dumped on the sluice. For the sluice I brought, we’d have been better off just bucketing the water ourselves. So, although Pat and I were particularly happy with the pump assembly working, in the end we resorted to simply panning on the shore. Panning is fun, it’s got the same sort of tranquil attraction that fishing does. If we decide to do it again, I’ll bring the full sluice and set it up right… it’s a big operation. For some action-shots with the equipment, you can browse through Ben’s gallery.

What do you guys think about Kanye’s little ad-lib on the NBC benefit show for Katrina victims? If you don’t know what I’m talking about, you can watch it here. Watching the video, it looks to me like Kanye had likely thought about what he wanted to say before he got up there, but his nervousness in actually going through with it was evident. It looked to me like he was fumbling at first, seemingly forcing out the words. After he got rolling and picked up a little steam, he was fine (although it still wasn’t the most polished speech). The plainfaced delivery of “George Bush doesn’t care about black people,” was pretty stinging. For me, simplifying the situation to black vs. white is shortsighted and dangerous – I’d say it’s more poor vs. rich; an issue of class, not race. If you order an evacuation of a city, it somewhat stands to reason that that city’s poorer and less fortunate will likely be the least able to leave. With perhaps no money to travel or stay somewhere else, and perhaps nowhere else to go – it’s conceivable that those who struggle with poverty would simply not have the ways or means to get out of harm’s way. I suppose any administration would expect a good deal of criticisms in the aftermath of a national disaster – some of which may be legitimate gripes, others just using the situation to their advantage. Just seems to me that this country should have some sort of infrastructure in place to be able to respond to worst-case situations like this. Whatever; I could be wrong, too.

Installed the latest Gallery2 release candidate last night, and am very pleased. The install process is 100 times better and easier than the previous 1.x versions. The administrative features look simplified and more organized too – and things just seem to “work” more than they did in the previous versions. Now that things are chugging nicely, and the program isn’t so tough to use and optimize – I’m hoping to utilize it for all my upcoming photo uploads. I gave up using the 1.x versions because there was just so much heavy lifting involved. Oh, the old version worked, and looked pretty dang slick, but I didn’t have the patience to take the time and put in the effort to use it right. So, I gave up posting images to the web really… just didn’t do it. We’ll see what happens.

Fall is in the air folks, it really is. Did I say that already? I know it because, today, I bought the first ingredients in the makings for Halloween 2005. Oh man, I’m pumped. Unlike last year, there are no major new purchases, really, just some more black lights (you can never have enough black lights). Like last year, there will be a new “major” prop addition – this year’s being a variation on this theme. (I plan on modding some of the setup, maybe making a different looking coffin.) Ahhh… Halloween… Wal Mart has its candy aisle up already, and the Halloween store is moving into the outlet mall this week. I took a look at my three-year-old gravestones and graveyard fence today, and decided it’s time to make a new fence and touch up the old tombstones as well as fab some brand new ones. Now I just have to get off my butt and actually do some stuff.

‘Night.