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the sun kicks into gear


Woke up early Saturday morning, as I had Mr. Mom duty while Sharaun was at an all-day seminar. Keaton and I sat and watched a couple TiVo’d episodes of Andy Griffith while the sun warmed cracking and popping sounds out of the windows. It’s nearing 2pm now and I’ve done a tall pile of nothing all day. Did manage to sneak out and fiddle with the backyard sprinklers, which were acting up when I did my Spring-is-coming test during mowing the other day. Turns out I’ve got some annual repairs to get done before the sun kicks into gear… as there are a couple broken heads and some adjustments needed here and there. Other than that brief spurt of arguably productive time, I’ve been sitting around like a stone… listening to the iPod, clicking through random articles on Wikipedia, playing with the baby when she’s awake, and snacking on some prunes.

Oh my word folks, I’m smitten with this album by Wolfmother. This Australian band is Black Sabbath’s Paranoid reborn in the 2000s, with Deep Purple and Led Zeppelin all thrown in the blender for good measure (really, just check out the band’s webpage if you don’t believe me on the comparison here). Right now, I’m simply infatuated with the entire album, but the standout tracks for me are Pyramid and White Unicorn. Actually, I could see how this album might be lumped with the whole “joke, or not?” metal-reborn stuff that The Darkness kicked off a couple years back – I mean, some of the lyrics literally sound like lines from Spinal Tap or Jack Black’s character in School of Rock. With song titles like Tales from the Forest of Gnomes, rolled Rs, and freakin’ flute solos… this is the real deal. These kids make rock, plain and simple. Really, listen to that song I linked above and tell me it’s not 100% ass-kickin’.

If all goes well, I should be first- and business-classing it over to Munich while you read this. Expect potentially odd posting times this week, I mean… in case you’re charting them. See ya.

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steerage no more


Mowed the lawn after work today, by the grace of daylight savings time. I had been looking forward to it, not only because it was badly needed, but because I would get to try out my new E2c headphones in a situation where it’s notoriously difficult to hear music over ambient noise. I was amazed… the normally overpowering rumble of the mower’s motor was reduced to a barely audible background drone. I could hear every note of even the softest songs the iPod shuffled up – it was like I was sealed off from the world. Man, I love those things. Getting out in the sun with crisp tunes in my ear and a brown bandana tied ’round my head really helped to force the cobwebs of work out of my head. Work has been… cruel… lately, neverending. I’m ready for my trip to Germany, but only because I won’t be in the office every day.

I feel like a fool, y’all. All this time I kept wondering why my VIP 100k mileage status on United hasn’t been garnering me more upgrades. Then, today, I was browsing my mileage account on United’s website and I noticed a link called “E Upgrade Summary.” Hmmm… what’s that all about, I wondered. Turns out, I have this massive stockpile of e-upgrades just sitting there… accruing with me being none the wiser. They are wholly separate of my miles, different animals altogether – just plain old “free” upgrades. Turns out I have 14,000 miles in “bump one service class” upgrades for domestic flights, and 6 “bump one service class” for international flights. I was stunned. All the time, these things have just been sitting there. I flew three times last week, and could’ve been 1st class every time, had I only known. Needless to say, I used one of my international bump privileges to get into business and 1st class on my trip to Germany next week. What’s more, because I’m a 100k flier they don’t disappear when the expire, United actually converts them into miles straight up… I’ll never fly coach again.

I had stuff written last night, but it blew – and I worked until midnight.

Tonight, I didn’t do that. Goodnight.

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all the better to hear you with


Almost 8pm on a Monday night and it’s still light out. I love this time of year, when I can still have light enough to mow the lawn after work. In fact, I think I’ll do just that tomorrow evening – get this jungle of a yard under control before I leave next Monday for Munich. It’s hard to stay on top of a yard when unending rain not only prevents you from mowing, but also works like grass-steroids.

I was actually hoping for a slight respite at work this week, maybe a break from the pace set by my last pre-travel week. Looks like I’ll have no such luck. Things are intense, and look like they’ll remain that way for a while actually. Being a manager is starting to become a little easier, I think I’m getting slightly better at it. I still have a lot to learn, and I think I’ll only take the lessons to heart when they’re real-world things, as all the training and scenario-play can’t really build experience like real experience can. Good at my job or not, I’m certainly consumed by it of late… I think this week will be another storm right up until Friday. I am, however, excited about the trip to Germany… work or not, I’m planning on having a grand time regardless.

Germany! Too bad I’ll be one week too late to miss this show where one of my favorite bands of last year is supporting the Stars, who I’d love to see again too, consequently.

I learned something in recent travels-by-air: I hate my current iPod earbud solution. Having quickly abandoned the ubiquitous stock white iPod earbuds, I’d been using an over-the-ear pair a friend bought to replace a pair he’d lost. They were nice, but they hurt my ear after just a short while. I must have sensitive ears, or not understand how to use traditional earbuds properly… because the vast majority I’ve tried end up leaving my ears sore in short order. Previously, I thought I’d found the solution in those over-ear foam ones (not in-ear, they just rest round foam speakers against the ear). However, on a plane, or mowing a lawn, or doing anything where ambient noise is a detracting factor – they just don’t cut it. You really need that in-ear isolation that earbuds can give to get rid of the outside stuff. And, with my long flight to Germany looming – I figured it was time to get serious and drop the requisite dough to get a decent pair of earbuds.

So, having some Best Buy gift cards stored up – I hit the web to check the reviews. Confident in my research, I went in today after work fully intending to buy the reasonably-priced Sony MDR-EX71SL earbuds. I instead left with a pair of $100 Shure E2c earbuds. I know, $100 for earbuds? But man, let me assure you these things are amazing (and I only paid $30 for them after the gift cards anyway). When they are wedged in, you hear absolutely nothing – Shure’s “sound isolating” tagline isn’t just marketing fluff. I had Sharaun scream at me while listening to the Allman Brothers belt out “Dreams” live at Ludlow – and heard nary a peep, just watched her mouth open in a wide, soundless wail. The bass response is amazing for such little things, and they’re surprisingly comfortable for how “stuck” in your ear they have to be to work right. It is taking me a little while to get used to the increased pressure in my ear, which is a product of the tight seal they rely on – and I can actually “feel” the flex of the small waves of air in my ear canal. But man, even as I sit and type this while doing an extended-listening comfort test, I can’t hear a single keystroke over whatever Deep Purple track the iPod has shuffled to.

Goodnight friends, I’ve no more in me this evening.

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out of dry dock and recommissioned


Saturday saw me forgoing my regular weekend cleanup, instead spending hours prying compact discs and their artwork out of jewel cases, rubber-banding them together between two slabs of cardboard, and packing them for sale. It was a bittersweet moment, as years of my life were wrenched from their comfortable plastic homes and piled neatly in stacks. Soon I’ll send them away for good, banish them to the “used” shelves at some NYC secondhand shop. I think they knew we were about to part ways, as their colorful artwork and shiny finishes silently asked me, “Why, Dave? After all this time, you’re just selling us off? We though we had something together, an arrangement, as it were… what happened to the Dave that blew his paychecks to get us? You’ve changed man… you’ve changed.”

I’ll be sad to see ’em go, but if I end up using the money as I plan (for Lasik), I’m sure I won’t regret it. Funny thing is, even after selling off some ~600 discs, I’m still left with an overwhelming amount that I didn’t sell (didn’t sell any of my Beatles & related bootlegs, which total about ~600 in and of themselves, and didn’t sell anything that was a traded-for CD-R copy from my old swappin’ days). The occasion was so momentous, that I decided to capture it for posterity – check out the pictures. (I’ve also decided that I’m going to start using the image gallery to store any future blog-supporting images, as it’s nice and cleaner than just posting images inline here).

Sunday morning I awoke to find the Easter Bunny had visit the night before while I slept. In my multicolored woven basket, he’d left the oddest array of Easter trinkets I’ve yet to see: a green plastic egg filled with Snickers, I carton of bubblegum eggs, lingerie, a bottle of champagne, tingly condoms, and KY “warming liquid.” I tell ya what, waking up to that kind of Easter basket after a proverbial “40 years in the desert” can do wonders for a man’s faith. With any luck, I’ll be able to celebrate two “resurrections” today.

This weekend, the hip-hop station Sharaun kicks most of the time was doing an all-gospel Easter Sunday. This got Sharaun and I talking about the stark dichotomy of the hip-hop culture: fuckin’, shootin’, and boozin’ on one side of the fence, and the Lord God on the other. Hip-hop folks may love their Lord, but they sure seem to love freakin’ and hustlin’ just as much. I’ve always got a chuckle when hardcore rap folks win awards for songs like “Take This Dick” and get up to thank Jesus and their grandmothers. I could never thank my grandmother for being my inspiration if my output was all about “gettin’ sloppy head in the back of a Benz,” and I’d be afraid Jesus might throw a lightning bolt at me if I did. For a good example of what I’m talking about, peep some lyrics to the new Nick Cannon song (for the record, I have no idea who Nick Cannon is – Sharaun brought this exemplary nugget to me this weekend and it fit perfect here):

Who you know a gigolo and still Christian?

Here, Mr. Cannon is stating that he’s not only a gigolo, but is also a Christian. That’s good, because without that setup, one might not catch the Godly undertones throughout the remainder of the song:

Cuz you know da Cannon be flashin, I’m gettin’ more head then an aspirin
At the strip club got me throwing singles tonight
Now she a born again vixen with some dick in her life
Sex real loud next room they can hear us
I’m lookin for a dime who can take the whole 9″
Check the sex tapes if you think I’m lyin’

“More head than aspirin?” Am I the only one who thinks that doesn’t make any sense? Must be some obscure biblical reference, Mr. Canon being the fervent Christian he is.

Goodnight my friends, until tomorrow.

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false alarm


Another night in another hotel, but I got to spend some time at home. And, I got to update Keaton’s gallery with pictures of her smiling. I’m so glad I came home for a night, it was well worth it.

Tonight around 11pm California time, Sharaun called me and said something frantic into the phone, which I couldn’t understand – we were then disconnected. I could tell by her tone, I immediately knew something was not right. I called right back, and got her voicemail as she beeped in on the other line. I swapped over, only to have her hang up. I tried again, and again. Finally, I got her, and, in a garbled hush of panicked whispering tears she plead: “David, someone opened the sliding glass screen door. I heard it.” My chest leapt, “Where are you, do you have the baby?” I responded. “I’m at the front door, inside, I have the baby. What do you want me to do?” Mind racing, I replied, “I want you to go outside, go across the street to the neighbors’ house; now.”

I heard the front door creak as I imagined her walking out into the night with my daughter clutched tight in fear. “Did you call the police?” I asked. “No, not yet.” Now, not that this wasn’t a situation of the utmost urgency to me, because… it was… but because my wife, though I love her to death, has a reputation for hearing things go “bump” in the night – I called our friend Erik, who lives close, and asked if he could come first; do a house check. In true superfriend fashion, he was there in 5min flat. It was a painful 5min for me, listening to Keaton cry as my wife stood in the neighbors’ driveway trying to console her, she must’ve thought her mom crazy for running into the night like that. Soon Sharaun saw Erik’s headlights round the corner, and I was instantly relieved.

Thankfully, the screen was untouched: locked from the inside. Whatever she did hear, though, scared the crap out of her – and made me wish I hadn’t left more than anything else in the world. Sorry to scare you with all the exposition, when the denouement was nothing more than the bogey man and shadows – but it makes for good blogging.

Spending a week wiping with cheap hotel toilet paper really tears up a guy’s ass. I’ll be glad to spend a week at home next week before heading to Germany… and maybe they’ll have better paper there, who knows.

That’s it, goodnight. Get your fix from Keaton’s gallery, OK?

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slacking is ubiquitous


Back at home, even if for just a brief visit. Good to hold my daughter on my chest and watch her squirm. I really… really, don’t want to leave again tomorrow. But, I guess it’s going to happen… want or not. Tonight’s entry will be lean, I’m beat down from travelling and want to sleep.

Today at our customer meeting, I sat next to a lead engineer and program manager from the company we were out presenting to. Being close to him, I had the opportunity to watch his laptop usage over his shoulder (all engineers have laptops on-hand 100% of the time). Turns out, he spent the entire meeting alternation between the screenwriting.info website, and a Word document containing his prospective screenplay. It heartened me, actually, seeing this high mucky-muck from XYZ corporation wasting his company’s money working on his pet project. It’s good that I’m not alone in letting personal passions trump professional responsibilities on occasion, validates me, so to speak. I took mental note of the gent’s name, just in case he has a breakthrough blockbuster in the box office some years down the road. Slacking: it’s ubiquitous.

The meeting once again went well, if the successful streak continues like this – I may end up with a big head, running around thinking I have the Midas touch for customer interaction. Nah… I’m just effin’ with ya… I’m sure I’ll feel the pain of a presentation gone wrong sometime in the future – just to keep me on my toes.

Goodnight.

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masturbate and head out for dinner


Houston; this hotel is shit.

No, not the shit… just shit. My credit card style key didn’t work, the bed is something you’d find at a summer camp, and someone in the room next to me is smoking like a chimney. The place smells like enchilada sauce, and there’s no wireless… people, I’m hooked up to a damn hard-wire to get online… what has the world come to? The lobby has a “complimentary” bucket of ice and Shasta soda mini-cans – Shasta; no joke. But, not being one to complain, I’ll just masturbate and head out for dinner… same old same old. Travel is part of my job, I accept that. Actually, if you promise you won’t misconstrue my saying this – I actually enjoy that my job involves travel. Travel suits me, eating on the company dime suits me, shaking hands and handing out business cards and making small talk, all these things suit me. But there is the other side…

Before I left, Sharaun was convinced that Keaton was beginning to smile. I saw what she was talking about, but I thought it less a smile and more just facial reaction to our voices (which is still no small milestone). Turns out, Sharaun was right. Of course, during the three days I’m in Texas, my daughter perfects her smile. Sharaun says she’ll smile a smile even friends recognize as one now, and do so in response to them flirting with her. This is awesome to me, as I can now visibly see if I’m making her happy. Makes me sad as hell for being on the road… but happier that I’ll get to come home and see it. I’ll try to get some pictures up as soon as I can, because surely my two readers are dying for them.

Tomorrow is our 2nd customer meeting, more questions and presenting and whatnot… I’m used to the whole dog and pony show now – it’s lost its lustre. Fly home tomorrow afternoon, sleep in my own bed next to my own wife and baby, and then wake up and fly out to Colorado to do it all again. Ah… but Colorado is different, it’s the first time I’ll be presenting the material – and even having written most of it and seen it done twice, I still plan to do a Thursday night rehearsal in front of mirror-Dave, stopwatch running.

Goodnight.