false profit

Fakir.  Get it?
I haven’t been writing because it just hasn’t been in me. I sit down with the laptop, write a couple thoughtless sentences and give up. Before, I may have pushed myself to get something done, to get something up, but I don’t see the point anymore. As it is, I’m already shamed by my matching-shoe entry last week. The reality is, I write a lot. I write a whole lot. Every night I crank out paragraph after paragraph. One wonders if it’ll ever dry up. It’s like wondering if, with all the music that’s been made in the history of the world, how people still manage to come up with an original tune. I guess when the variables are infinitely arrangeable, there’s always a chance for an original. Not that anything I write is terribly original or even worth reading, but at least there’s no threat of “drying up.” I can keep pumping out sentence after sentence of crap. Here comes some of it now, enjoy.

As sore as I am, I’d trade sitting in my cube today for the sunny and sweaty yardwork of yesterday in a heartbeat. With Blind Faith’s eponymous, and only, LP blaring from the windows while I heaved the breaker bar at the rocky “dirt.” Instead, I’m sitting here on my already-tired-of-being-sat-on ass, listening to the Arcade Fire live on Morning Becomes Eclectic. A decent performance, but it’s not like I was in need of convincing when it comes to the awesomeness of this band. The problem is, when you release an album that is so stunningly good, so noticeably standout from everything else released that year, following it up is rough. I remember reading about Radiohead’s follow-up phobia after releasing the universally praised OK Computer. As if to silence the murmurs of “can they do it”, Radiohead released Kid A as the follow up and blew everyone’s mind again. I’m hoping the Arcade Fire can have their own mind-blowing follow up, and their sophomore effort is probably the one future album I’m currently most looking forward to.

Begin random unrelated paragraph.

I don’t think I’m the only one, but maybe I am, who feels like he really only knows a fraction of what people may think he does. I’m talking specifically to the work environment. I’m not an expert, in honesty I retain very little. I’m a fake, a practiced charlatan, and a cunning opportunist. Over my short time on this planet, the only real skill I’ve mastered is knowing how to influence peoples’ perceptions. An expert at getting by, proficient at faking it, and revered in the field of hype – I’ll come to you with nothing in my head and anything you’d like on my tongue. You’d think after a while, I’d get called out, cold-busted. Nope, I know enough to lay down safety nets… just like always, I know just enough to get by and nothing more. I come to school to do the bare minimum for the As and honors. Even with all your persuasiveness, you’ll not impress upon me your get-ahead attitude, I’m too satisfied with simply getting-along. Relying on my pseudo-skills to advance me… I will let your perception carry me. Thanks.

End random unrelated paragraph.

My week-long AIM screename mixup has been an exciting and interesting thing. As you may remember, it all stared last Saturday when I got a bunch of IMs from people I’d never heard of, all of them thinking I was someone named Zak or Charlie. Throughout the week, the IMs continued. Despite my frequent ignoring them, and, when responding, my adamancy that they had the wrong person – I learned a lot about the people IMing me, the person(s) I was supposed to be, and IMing and today’s youth in general. For instance, I learned that the job of a child predator really isn’t that tough. In just the first day of mistaken identity, these girls’ freely offered their names, ages, and location. I didn’t ask, and I even told them I was an old man who they didn’t know. It mattered not. Unasked, they sent pictures and even phone numbers; I learned what schools they go to, what dance studio they attend. It didn’t matter to them that I was a stranger – they could care less. That, to me, was a little disturbing.

I addition to a somewhat shocking lack of information-guarding, I learned that instant messaging is extremely important to these kids. The girls who were IMing me ranged from 12-14 years old, and they were relentless. They also have their own language. I like to think of myself as still being fairly-in touch with the youth culture of today, but some of the abbreviations and idioms they were using had me rushing to Google for a whippersnapper-to-geezer translator. Seeing how important IMing was to these kids made me realize that this is a entirely new communication medium. Something my generation and the ones preceding it simply didn’t have. It’s real-time note-passing, but with the added bonus of distance to reduce inhibition. As a behind-the-curtain method of communicating, it’s extremely efficient for the hormone-charged youth to conduct faceless flirting – which everyone knows is much easier than mustering up in-person game. Like the long flirty phone calls of my generation, IMs flying through cyberspace are today’s kids’ way of developing those oh-so-important teen infatuations. I guess it was just interesting to me that they probably don’t even consider that they are the first generation afforded this indirect and immediate type of communication.

And, to round it out – I finally got back to my long-running project of digitizing all my music. When I stopped, I was at about 80% ripping my entire CD library. Then, when I upgraded my PC my ASPI layer got all screwed up and my ripper wouldn’t work at all. My intense hatred of working with computers on my own time kept me from properly debugging the problem until tonight, when I forced a reinstall of the ASPI layer and got things back up and running. When I stopped before, it was at the daunting task of getting all my Beatles and Beatles related materials ripped… and now I’m happy to report I’m almost through with George Harrison and on my way to Lennon. Soon it will be Macca and finally the Fab Four themselves. When that’s done, all that’s left to do is walk through the collection and make sure every CD has digital representation. Then, reap the second-hand rewards via Ebay, local record shops, and secondspin.

Goodnight all. Good. Night.

mistaken identity II

Who is this?  ASL?
I’m extremely tired, so I’m just going to publish this.

God it’s a beautiful day out. Don’t you think so? Those trees with the little cottonball blossoms are all in bloom across the street. People are driving by with their windows down and ballcaps on; things are really summering up around here. Sometimes I wish we could make Saturday and Sunday double-long, because they always seem to go too fast. You can keep the night the same length, just give me double-daylight. Sunday, the plan was to actually get out and take advantage of some of this goodness. Erik and I took the bikes out for a ride over by the river, trying to discover some more of the local trails. We found a nice little ~20mi loop that skirts the river and was relatively easy.

In the blog-progress arena, I finally got the spell-checking plugin script working for my WordPress install. No more cutting and pasting the entire entry into OpenOffice to spellcheck it before posting – the button is integrated right into the wordpress “Write Post” dialog. I’ve also been busy going month-by-month through my old entries and giving them titles and categories. The category listings on the sidebar are beginning to fill out nicely, as I take things out of the default “general” and start classifying them a little better. I care way to much about this stupid page of worthless rambling.

Got my new cellphone on Friday, and immediately starting messing with it. The MMC card thing is awesome, and I found out that my multi-card reader at home will read it fine in the SD slot. That means I can easily drop MP3s onto the MMC card without having to put up with the slow transfer speeds of bluetooth or IR. Now all I have to do is pick up a 2GB card the next time I’m in Taiwan, and I’ve got a nice small solid-state music player.

Sunday morning I woke up to 7 or 8 AOL Instant Messenger “User soandso wants to send you an instant message, would you like to accept?” windows on my desktop. I don’t know what happened, I don’t even use AIM anymore and have considered uninstalling it several times, but somehow someone either picked a username that’s close to mine, or a bunch of other people got confused. Either way, I went ahead and allowed everyone to IM me, I think mostly because I saw a bloggable opportunity. Most of the initial IMs were innocuous: “hey,” “hi,” “u there?,” etc. But one… one was different… and it was too good to ignore. The first three messages were sitting in the window after I accepted the chat. Turns out that the guy I was supposed to be must’ve done somebody wrong, check it:

somemadgirl:
wow your really immature and need to grow up, do you really get aroused by makeing fun of other people? thats really immature and shows your weakness and insecurity
somemadgirl:
just a little warning, i dont recommend pullin that shit in the future or you will seriously get your ass kicked or even shot for that matter
somemadgirl:
its pathetic how cool you think you are from calling my sister fat, you live in a america you fucking fag everyones obease, im sure you gonna be that way some day, she may be bigger but that means she could own your little ass in a fight so i would really watch you say you fuckin dick licker
dave:
you’re fat too
somemadgirl:
so is your mom
somemadgirl:
go cut your wrist you fuckin dumbass
dave:
you’re fat
somemadgirl:
sweeeet
somemadgirl:
your moms a dyke
dave:
i can’t believe how fat you and your sister are

I started feeling guilty really fast though, so I came clean with everyone who was trying to chat with someone they thought was me but wasn’t. It didn’t take me long to realize that everyone IMing me was a girl, and by their talk of homework and school – possibly not of-age girls at that. At this point, Sharaun began yelling at me to stop talking to young girls over IM (good advice, really). But these girls, even after I’d sworn I wasn’t who they thought I was, were still insisting I call them… no matter who I was. This type of thing has happened to me before, so I’m somewhat practiced at it. Anyway, I didn’t call any of them… for fear of come cyber-crime unit rushing my front door and arresting me.

The more I listen to the most recent Helio Sequence album, the more I become convinced that PF was off their rocker when they only gave it a 5.0. This album is great, it’s summer-day quirky beats are perfect for green-grass and sunshine laziness. Makes me long to be sprawled on the backseat of a boat moving down the river, sun beating down with a sweaty bottle of beer in hand.

Goodnight.

the heat

Cold bellies get more hugs.
Good evening folks. Yup, I’m using a new recent comments plugin, which gives me a lot more flexibility over how I display the comments in the sidebar. So far I only used it to add a reference to the post a comment was entered on, something which I always thought was missing (all the comments looked like they were from the same article or something). I messed with a bunch of different ways to incorporate the article title, finally landing on the “re:” thing you see now… which I’m still not sure I like. But hey, it does the job.

Two days after I got back from Taiwan, I got a note from a buddy of mine who lives there: Tracy was in the hospital. Tracy’s in the hospital! The word is, she has a low white blood cell count… which I guess can be a symptom of a whole bunch of stuff, and is more common in women. Anyway, I sent her a gift in the hospital and have been checking in with local friends to see how she’s doing. As long as it’s not some rare Asian contagious disease… I guess if I come down with the Bird Flu, I’ll know.

But for real, I was with her nearly all week. We karaoke’d into the wee hours on no less than three nights last week. Despite the fact that we hung out a lot more and were even able to speak much more on this trip out, Tracy and I are still the least close of all my hotel-bar friends. On my last night in town, as we left the all-night restaurant around 5am, I was giving hugs to all the other bar staff and saying goodbye until next time. However, as I moved in to hug her goodbye, she turned her body sideways as if to escape the impending embrace! “Tracy! How cold!” I shouted, eliciting laughs from the others. Then, talking to a buddy today who’s spoken to Tracy since she’s been laid up, I asked him if she said anything about ducking my goodbye hug. “Yeah,” he said, “She said she turned away because of the ‘heat in your stomach.'” I about fell out of my chair laughing. “The heat” in my stomach?! What in the world does that mean? Even the local buddy who talked to her (who speaks Mandarin!) said he didn’t understand, and even talking to her, couldn’t figure out quite what she meant. I told him that next time I’ll need some help icing up my belly. I wonder if “the heat in one’s stomach” is an ancient Chinese way to say “bad breath?”

There surely is such a thing as computer-addiction. I know because I am completely and utterly stricken by it. It really doesn’t bother me that much, to be honest with you. I would argue that most people living in modern, mechanized, industrialized nations are actually “addicted” to one form of media or another. But for some reason, non-PC people think of those who choose the PC as their primary source of entertainment and leisure-time-wasting in a negative light. However, the far more common breed who chose to watch TV from the moment they get home until the moment they drift off to sleep are not. What about a voracious reader, one who spends every free moment poring over books, are they “addicted,” or simply studious? I prefer the computer to the TV… I’ve mentioned that before. Who cares. Shut up and leave me alone, I’m busy at the computer.

In the waste-of-time department: Ever since I saw this linked on fazed the other day, I got sucked in. It’s one of those progressive image puzzles where you look at a picture/puzzle for some kind of hidden or contextual or coded message, and then modify the URL with the solution to get to the next picture/puzzle. Some of them are incredibly complex and nearly impossible. Before I knew it, I found myself starting at this thing until 1am last night before calling it quits. Some of the answers are easily obtained, some require complicated decoding and math, and some even require digital manipulation of the images. Even though I cheated a few times along the way out of desperation, I went back tonight and solved most all of the puzzles I skipped out of frustration. I don’t know why I get hooked on these things, but I do. In fact, I decided to take a crack at the dreaded #34 (the one I was stuck on last night until 1am) today during my lunch break… and before I knew it it was 4:30pm and I was on #38. Have at it, but beware – it will melt your brain.

I bid you… adieu.

home again

GIS for captors.
Got back Saturday around noon. Another long flight, although I slept through most of it – waking for the bad food and to use the facilities. Wayne and I stopped on the way home from the airport to pick up some good old American hamburgers and chili-cheese fries. Rolled into the garage around 1pm, driving past my waist-high lawn on the way in (the season of weekly mowing has dawned again it seems). I always get the same sensation when just home from an overseas trip. Like people should know and respect the fact that just that morning, I was eating eel in a restaurant in downtown Taipei. The lady ringing up my goods at Wal Mart, she should know that. Hours ago, while you were sleeping, I was singing Chinese songs and drinking beer at an all-night karaoke. Wake up and recognize me as the world-traveler I am people… this lame-o in line behind me?, he was picking his nose when I was 30,000ft above the earth traveling 700mph just 3 hours ago. Marvel at me, won’t you?

Slept in until almost 1pm Sunday, must still be messed up from the travel and time-change. Sucks to sleep away your first real day back, but I suppose it is a recuperation day. I was hoping to mow the lawn today, but I’ve already made up my mind I’m putting it off… I even checked the sunset time for tomorrow to see if I’d be able to get it done post-work – since it’s long as balls right now.

If I may, I would now like to make a short foray into the dark side.

We’ll start with the news that they’ve caught BTK. If you don’t know, I have a small obsession with serial killers. I hate saying that, because it sounds so very macabre… but I think my fascination lies more with the “hows” of human behavior that allow these acts. Plus, I really enjoy a good unsolved mystery. I’ve been following BTK ever since I read about him over at the Crime Library, and even more so since the launch of catchBTK.com and his recent string of communications and puzzles sent to police and media. My guess is that the guy was ready to get caught, anyone willing to risk open communication in this day and age of forensic science is asking for it. Glad they caught him, and with him behind bars and everyone knowing Zodiac is dead – now I have to find another unsolved serial killer case to follow. With the capture being such high-profile news, I’m surprised Tom hasn’t updated catchBTK.com yet – I’d figured he’d have had the template designed forever now – just waiting to artistically drop in the mughsot.

Shifting gears, another spat of information in the interesting-to-me Collarbomber case. Y’know, the pizza delivery man who was abducted, fitted with a locked metal “collar” containing a bomb, and given home-built James Bond weapons and impossibly complicated instructions to rob a bank lest his captors detonate his necklace? If you don’t remember, the man was killed when the collar exploded, as police and TV crews watched waiting for the bomb squad to arrive. Looks like the victim’s sister has put up a website in an attempt to expose shoddy police work and bring justice to the case. The crude site is really interesting, with phrases like “Killers Roam Free. They Will be Caught Because They Are LOSERS,” and a personal plea to the killers to give themselves up. Just this past week, the FBI released a picture of a black car that they are interested in.

In both these cases, I’ll be interested to get more details… the full stories will no doubt be fascinating. OK then, away from the doom and gloom and back to regular stuff.

I decided that I’m going to make sounds familiar a little more blog-compliant, namely by giving each post a title, and also by trying to use the “categories” feature more. Categories is always hard for me, since I tend to be pretty random in what I write. Beginning today, you’ll begin to see post titles sitting over to the right side of the header box, and if you use read this site via the RSS syndication feed, the titles should come through there too. An exciting task for me will be getting to go through all the past entries and titling and categorizing them all (I did a few last night), I’ve done it once before with the old software… but lost all the info. I fiddled with where I’d display the title for a long time, finally deciding on the right-align you see above – since it’s not too prominent and won’t mess up the layout of untitled posts. I’ve gone ahead and added the category breakdown to the sidebar… but since not all the entries are binned yet, it’s not that interesting. That sounds familiar for ya, always striving to improve itself for the readership.

Having my laptop flake out on me served to remind me I need to keep up with my regular backups of my home machine. I use Acronis TrueImage as my backup solution, and run a full disk backup every month which I then burn to DVD and keep on my RAID array. However, my RAID array has been acting flaky lately too – I think I have either a bad disk or loose cable… and I’ve been meaning to switch from the four-disk SATA solution I have now to a three-disk IDE RAID5 configuration. I know I’ll do it one day, I should just bite the bullet and buy four large IDEs (three for the RAID5 array and one to upgrade my USB2.0 travel-caddy which I use to bring my entire collection wherever I want). Anyone know of a good deal on 4 large (250GB+) IDE drives and a RAID5 capable card?

Goodnight.

upgrade

We're #1!
I know you can’t really see it – but last night I upgraded to the newest version of WordPress, v1.5. The upgrade went, for the most part, smoothly, with only a few stylesheet related errors I had to clear up. Scrubbing the stylesheet is good housekeeping anyway, and it even inspired me to test with Firefox and Opera to make sure everything renders kosher. So far, I’m really digging the 1.5 backend… although it may take me a while get used to where things are now. Looks like they’ve built-in some comment-spam moderation, which is nice… and in general there are more comment moderation features. I did a quick spot-check of most crucial blog-features, and they all seem to be intact and working, so I declare the upgrade a success. The only thing that bummed me out was how nice the Kubrick template looked compared to my same-old green… but… it’s comfortable.

Tomorrow folks, tomorrow I’ll be airborne. A little flying city, me included, all jetting our way to Taipei over an interminably long ~24hr travel time. I’m ready, mentally; physically, I still have to pack and haven’t even started planning for the actual work I’ll be doing while in town. I am excited, though, about hooking up with a buddy while in town and visiting the local custom shirt and slacks places. Tailor-made shirts and dress slacks for $20, you can’t beat it. And man, I’d pay twice that to get something that fits around my childbearing thighs. The right fit can make all the difference, not binding my junk while I walk, not cutting off circulation to my legs, etc. Until I can get less fat, it’s the only way to go. Plus, I’ll be interested to see if the puny Taiwanese measuring tapes can encircle the girth of my legs anyway… mighty American redwoods to their toy saplings.

I saw the chief of the CIA came out and said something about North Korea having more nukes than we thought they had, or something. We gotta get these bastards people. We gotta reach out the long arm of American justice and give them a little preemptive shot off the bow. This is America; we flex you flinch. I mean, how can we be expected to stay our trigger-fingers when we’re being mocked outright!? This is the USofA you commie dickheads. Remember those letters, they’ll be the last thing you see on the side of the ICBM that screams into your village. Here in America we have little love for axes, and we hate evil ones with a passion. So shape up, because cowboys don’t take insults lightly:

The Americans swagger like a tiger around the world, but they whimper before our Republic as the tiger does before the porcupine. That’s because we have our Great Leader Kim Jong Il, who is undefeatable.

Pyongyang Radio, North Korea

OK. For real. I can remember, as far back as a few years ago, hearing members of Radiohead wax on about how underappreciated the 70s group Can was. I downloaded their two most well-regarded albums long ago, and gave them each a little listening to. Since then, they’ve been waiting on my hard drive as quiet ones and zeros… needing only my pointing and clicking to transform them into membrane-vibrating analog pulses of air. Today at work, I pointed and I clicked – and I was taken by surprise at how much I immediately dug what I heard. Some of the longer, more experimental, tracks are pure avant-crap… but the tiny little slice songs are really enjoyable.

And before I go, I strongly encourage everyone to go and download a copy of the excellent OpenCD project. Then, the next time your friends and relatives ask you for copies of programs (because you work at a high-tech company and you must have access to free warez copies of all the latest appz), you can instead send them this great disc of OpenSource programs to replace the payware they’ve been duped into thinking is superior.

Goodnight.

top 500

Friday; the week's sunset.
As the sun slips out of sight on my Thursday night, I’m sitting at the computer listening to tunes with a full belly. When I got home, the fridge beckoned – Sharaun’s famous cornbread – leftover from the days of cornbread past. And even though I’m supposed to be at Pat’s in less than an hour for a BBQ – I’m full-up. Owell, such is the life of a shameless glutton. Today went fine, once again not terribly taxing – which I rather like. It was another mild sunny day in Northern CA, and my drive home was particularly liberating to my work-shackled mind. I put on the Black Keys’ “When the Lights Go Out,” which is about as good a driving song as there ever was, cracked the window and slipped on my shades – y’know, start the end of my day in style.

Remember my paragraph yesterday about my writing process? I mentioned something about how I wish people could actually see me type an entry in real time, so they could get some idea what a labor of love sounds familiar really is to me. Well, the more I thought about it, the more I thought it might actually be a cool idea. So, I did it. Click here to watch me “type” (more like bang out) the preceding paragraph – technology is so cool, right? (Oh, and if you can figure it out, just hit the somewhat camouflaged “play” button near the top of your screen.)

But, enough with the novelty… to the cream filling.

I’m not much of a doomsayer. I’ve never proclaimed the nighness of the end or paraded on the street wearing a sandwich board and handing out “repent now” pamphlets; but you’d have to be blind and deaf to not have noticed the foreboding undertones in recent world media. Rice, Cheney, Ashcroft, all currently beating around the war chest with Iran, who may or may not have nukes; Korea’s got nukes and doesn’t want to play in the global non-proliferation sandbox with everyone else. While it’s not a full-on proclamation of impending calamity – it is disconcerting to me.

Over the small time I’ve labored in my chosen career, I’ve gained more confidence with each passing year. An interesting side-effect, however, of me becoming more confident at work – is the fact that I’ve also become more confident about what I don’t know, and letting people know it. I mean, when I was starting, I always wanted to tell someone that I thought I could do whatever they were asking – regardless of whether or not I really thought I could, I could always learn later. I felt I should always tell people I “got it,” when a lot of times I was nowhere near “getting it.” As I’ve grown more confident about what I do know, and and what I do get – I’ve lost a lot of that fear of looking stupid, and replaced it with honesty about not knowing. I knew all along that admitting ignorance is the easiest way to fix ignorance, but I was too eager to impress.

I don’t think I’ve mentioned it before, but way back when, Rolling Stone magazine released an issue that summed up their idea of the “Top 500 Albums of All Time.” I remember when it came out, because Kyle told me about. I can remember him talking about flipping out over the fact that no matter which album he got from the list – he liked it. Specifically, I remember him getting into some Roxy Music and Talking Heads albums (and, if I’m remembering right, a Big Star album too). I had always admired his tastes in music, they were much more flexible than mine (my mind would often get “closed” onto a certain sound/genre, blinding me to new stuff). I thought his idea to use the list as a diving board into new music was brilliant. Since then, Rolling Stone has made the list available online – and I stop by from time to time to see where I stand. Y’know, how many of the albums I’ve given a proper listen, how many I agree or disagree about, that kinda thing.

One album that always bugged me, mostly because of the incredible praise it always seemed to garner, was the Kinks’ The Village Green Preservation Society. As I studied my rock music history, I read countless fawning reviews of the LP, and noticed it had the received re-release treatment (“deluxe,” “extended,” and “remastered”) several times – the canonical release clocking in at 3 CDs worth of material. Despite its acclaim, I’d never really been able to “get” the album. Recently though, I managed to score the 3 disc set I mentioned above. And, after several listens, I’m ready to agree that this is a great effort. If you’re period-piece-phobic, this is not for you – it absolutely bleeds 60s. You may get a kick out of recognizing the track “Picture Book” from a recent HP commercial (the cool one with all the frame/photo effects). I won’t heap any praise on top of the precariously large mound already bestowed on the album – but I will say that I can finally see what everyone’s on about. And, if you’re interested in hearing the 255th best album of all time, and getting a healthy dose of late-60s musicana at the same time – check it out.

Enough cream filling, back to the novelty.

A narcissistic look back over some sounds familiar hard data and personal favorites.

One of my all-time favorites, the “you can’t fake your way” entry.
The satanic flier.
Like the commentary on Papa’s passing, and the McRib.
The last paragraph makes this one.
Hammertime.
Rock in the ear.

The most visited post (by far) is my account of the Pac Man underlay artwork (linked from my Pac Man pages). The second most visited is the poop story (which makes sense according to some search analysis I’ve mentioned before). And the bronze (surprisingly) goes to my religion-statistics rant. There are 329 posts total. 181 posts contain the word “anyway.” 157 posts contain the word “Sharaun.” 141 posts contain the word “hate.” 140 posts contain the word “love.” 60 posts contain the word “god.” 19 posts contain the word “sex.”

Well, that should about do it for the week. It’s 11pm, I just pulled the garbage to the curb, and I’m about ready to settle in for a good night’s rest. Sharaun and I decided that when we wake up Saturday morning, we’ll just fill the truck with gas and strike out into the Sierras looking for a nice place to Valentine (used here as a verb). The element of the unknown makes it sound kinda fun, I’m sure we’ll be around Tahoe… but where we end up I have no idea.

And with that ask your leave and wish you a good weekend. ‘Night.

cussing in church

Curse like one.
Several paragraphs, some well thought-out and written with care, some written fast without much style – every single one about something different. Taken together though, I think it stands as one of the better entries I’ve done in a while. You be the judge.

A much better day, a return to normalcy: meetings, e-mails, phone calls; no clenched teeth or fevered concentration. Instead bracing myself against the stormy seas of imagined deadlines, I was able to loose myself from the mast and enjoy the slow rollers of a normal workday. I like it that way, actually. With a little spare time to refresh CNN in between meetings and keep up with what’s going on outside the cubicle. Speaking of the cubicle, I had the chance last night to chat with a guy who does electrical work for new construction – wiring, etc. We hadn’t yet got around to what I do for a living when he mentioned that he “…couldn’t stand to be inside all day, stuck in front of a computer.” There’s something to that, y’know, although I’m not entirely sure I’d like to be inside walls or crawling on rafters all day either. For the job-satisfaction to money ratio, I like what I’m doing better than anything else that’s immediately available to me. And, to me, that’s enough to keep me happy. And everyone knows, happiness is what counts.

Taiwan is looming. I’ll be doing a return appearance as a speaker at a conference I actually attended last year. Funny thing is, I presented twice at the conference last year – my first appearance being what I remember as my worst public appearance ever (you can read about my post-presentation shame in my entry that day). I can recall the feeling like it was yesterday, and I’ve made it a point to not get myself into the same situation this year. This year, I am a master of the material… and I have enough “extra” info to expound if necessary or answer tough questions. If pre-conference confidence is an indicator of pending success, I’ll do 100 times better this year than last. Honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever given such a stinker as that single hour last year… it pains me to recall it.

I think it would be cool to build a simple plugin for Winamp that keeps track of the songs you play, and can then analyze time-defined chunks of the logs to see what mood you are/were in. AMG has all of its music organized into “mood” categories, and although I’ve never really used that information, if the classification is decent it’d be interesting to use their data to see what “mood” my last-week’s or last-month’s playlist said I was in. For instance, today I got a blues-itch, and started at Muddy Waters’ Fathers and Sons, after which I moved onto the guitar-god-rife White Boy Blues, and am currently listening to the Allman Brothers’ Brothers and Sisters. Using album-level for mood granularity, AMG’s mood-classifications tell me that I’m feeling both “earthy” and “passionate.” I like that, actually. I’m feeling rather passionate today, I mean… look at the figuratives I used in that opening paragraph… if that ain’t passion…

The other day, Pat and I were talking about how we write. The nature of the discussion was work-related, as we were saying what perfectionists/revisionists we both are when it comes to writing. It’s true, before I send an e-mail (especially if it’s an “important” one), I read and re-read and then re-re-read it again. I often decide to change the structure of my sentences as I type, reorganizing or rewording to better communicate what I want to say. Finally, when I’m satisfied with my missive, I fire it off and immediately click over to my “Sent” box and re-read the thing again. It’s a habit, or perhaps an OCD manifestation, I dunno. For me, it’s not limited to e-mail, it’s writing in general. And that’s what Pat was saying, he was wondering how I manage to write every day when I’m so picky about how things sound, how they come out. I just do it; and believe me, it takes time. I can tell you though, that I think everyone would get a good laugh if they could watch one of my entries be typed in real time… with all the backspacing, word-looking-up, organizing and re-organizing, etc. It’s a messy process.

I remember when I first started going to church with Sharaun. Coming from an established history as a drinker, drugger, and all-around foul-mouth… I was the antithesis of a good young Christian lad. People who honestly believed that swearing one swear or beering one beer might keep them from their God amazed me. During that part of my life, Sharaun and I were pretty involved with the church, and I had many occasion to be alone in the building… setting up this or working on that. And sometimes, when I was all alone in some dark storeroom, where my only companions were Sunday School supplies and Bible-times stage-props, I would give God my own little test. I’d say a big, fat, sinful word; think a big, fat, sinful thought; purposely entertain big, fat, sinful doubts I had. I’d “sin,” in the house of God, I’d deliberately do the things that I couldn’t believe people thought would incur the wrath of God. Just words, out loud and willful. And who would have known – the didn’t bring the Lord sweeping down to cleanse his temple of the scourge that was my open defiance.

If you couldn’t tell, I wasn’t able to think of a graceful exit from my “cussing in church” piece – so I just stopped writing. So, to change subjects… Because the quote seemed important, and also to test my new “quoted text” style, here’s a rather ominous-sounding one from Dr. Rice herself:

I believe that everybody is telling the Iranians that they are going to have to live up to their international obligations or next steps are in the offing. Everybody understands what next steps means.

Yeah, now that looks good. There’s probably a far simpler way to implement it using CSS, font colors and sizes, but I chose to go the old-fashioned route and used transparent GIFs and html “align” tags. I may not be the most cutting edge web developer, but I get the look I’m after most of the time. It probably renders as complete nonsense in anything other than IE, who knows.

And I’ll leave you with that. Goodnight.