muted and distant

Thursday now and Aruba is closer than ever.  Let’s do this.

At work we’ve got these wireless headsets we all wear when we attend meetings over the phone. Most of our meetings are like this, “virtual” that is, as the teams we work with are spread all over the country and globe. So, if I’m not listening to music on my headphones I’m likely taking a meeting from my boom-mic earpiece thing. Either way, I have something on my ear nearly all day.

We didn’t use to have these nifty wireless things, used to be tethered to the desk by a line from the headset to the phone. Sometimes I forget how awesome the wireless ones actually are, and take for granted the freedom to wander they grant me. I can get about 50ft out of the thing before the connection back to the home base unit in my cube gets spotty. This works out great for ducking into a close conference room when a conversation becomes from-cube unworthy (happens often, actually). Additionally, it’s just about the distance from my desk to the nearest bathroom.

Now, my philosophy about using the headset in the bathroom has changed 180° over the past year. Previously, I was a staunch no-bathroom guy. I sometimes have this odd thing about taking an item into a bathroom, like just crossing the threshold somehow soils it. But, as I get older this concern continues to fade. Heck, it’s just another room… it’s only that people poop in it and not elsewhere. With maturity, I’ve broken down a lot of those notions… I mean I’m only using those paper butt-protectors like 75% of the time now (based on a very complicated need vs. time vs. concern algorithm that exists in my brain).

Anyway, I now gladly wear my headset into the bathroom (only for quick #1s, as I typically have my #2s planned a little better and the situation can be avoided altogether). It’s nice to not miss a piece of the meeting I’m on, and I’m not nearly as rushed to get back to the desk when nature’s call can simply not be ignored (coffee; I blame the coffee). And yes, the headset does have a mute button on it – so of course I utilize that. And, with that sentence now down I’m ready to type the paragraph that sparked this entire blurb:

Since the bathroom is at the working horizon of the headset’s range, I often get worried that, as the connection strains over distance, somehow the muting will be lost in the air. I often blow softly into the mic, listening for the sound of my own breath in my earpiece, to confirm I really am muted. For some reason, pressed up against the urinal with people bearing down in the stalls around me, I just panic that the distance is going to magically un-mute me and expose my in-meeting bio breaks to the world.

Hasn’t happened yet, but doesn’t stop me from irrationally worrying about it.

Goodnight.