Posts

Posted on

moving earth

Yeah, huh? What?
I kinda glossed over the events of this weekend in yesterday’s entry, mostly because I had the 80s cover-band bit pre-written and just wanted to push “go” and be done with it. The weekend was extremely productive though. Once upon a time, I had promised myself I would have the backyard done in time for our annual Halloween party, but with other projects getting in the way and a trip to Taiwan that blew the head of steam I was working on before – I lost the drive and stopped working. This weekend, however, Erik came over and helped me work a bit – devising a practical system for large-scale leveling the base material for the paver stones. After we got a large swath leveled, it was as easy as bringing back pavers as fast as the we could fill the wheelbarrow and place them.

We got about 95% of the porch form paved, and now it’s all about “cutting in” the curved edges. I’m borrowing a buddy’s rock-saw this week and taking Friday off to get the job done. In addition, I ordered some more decomposed granite to make the base material for the sidewalk leading around the house to the gate. It gets delivered tomorrow, so I’m going to try and form up the sidewalk tonight in preparation. Once I get the sidewalk formed, filled with DG, and leveled, I can bring the remainder of the bricks back and compete as much as possible before having to cut bricks to fit edges. I figure, with a little sweat, I can have the porch done and cut in by the end of this weekend. Then one day to prep the dirt for topsoil (killing weeds, picking up too-big rocks, etc.), a day to bring in said topsoil, and then a full day to lay sod and cut sprinklers to height. That means, if all goes well, after this weekend I only have about three more days work before I can have a backyard complete with grass. That also means that, if the bank account permits, my original pre-Halloween target completion date is totally achievable.

I know the subject of “working on my backyard” isn’t the most exciting thing I could write about, but when the words keep coming that tells me I’ve picked the right subject. Every time I’m out there busting my ass working, I’m thinking how I can’t wait for the epic project to finally be done. I mean, it’s going to be a huge source of pride for me. It’s all my hand, all my work, sweat and muscle. The whole thing: landscaping, retaining wall, earth-moving, irrigation, grass, pavestone porch and sidewalk, and the plan as a whole – it was all me. I mean, I did get some help along the way from some friends – but for the most part I worked alone.. after work, on weekends, whenever. And to tell the truth, the more I see it coming together, the more I think it’s really going to look good. Impressive even. When it’s finally done-done (plants, some benches, etc.), I’m going to hold a freakin’ party. A “good lord the yard’s done” party, so everyone can relish in my accomplishments.

When we bought our house, it came pre-wired for an alarm system. However, early on we decided that we didn’t want to pay $30 a month for a monitored system. I mean, we have insurance, right? We already pay them in case our stuff gets stolen, and whatever they do steal, we could just buy again, right? Anyway, while I was installing our new blinds this past weekend, I noticed the pre-installed magnetic contacts on all the windows, and that got me thinking. Wouldn’t it be cool to just have an unmonitored system that would notify me when one of my windows/doors was opened? All I’d want is something that would call on my cellphone if someone was in my house when they weren’t supposed to be. Lo and behold, they sell a gadget that does just that. And, since all my doors and windows are pre-wired, all I’d have to do is buy it and hook it up.

So I’ve been toying with the idea of a do-it-yourself security system It would ring my cellphone if a window/door was opened when we’re gone, or if any of the smoke detectors are tripped (it can also sound real alarm, if you want). Plenty of companies sell “packages” that include the dialer, control panel, wireless keypads to arm/disarm the alarm, and even additional motion detectors for indoor/outdoor. So for $200, I can have a system call me, or Sharaun, or anyone (four numbers in succession if it doesn’t get someone) if our house is getting burgled. Haven’t decided yet, I’m still unsure if I really want this because I want some kinda security system, or because it sounds like a fun electronics project. Man, I really am addicted to projects.

In fact, right now I have a backlog of projects. The foremost being the backyard and the Halloween display. But also on the list is: painting some rooms in the house, replacing the exhuast manifolds in the truck, replacing the seats in the truck, the center console, cleaning the truck… yeah… the truck has turned into a “work vehicle” over the duration of the backyard project. I have to fix up the front yard, mulch, weedblock, plants, etc.

Sometimes I get torn when I write entries like this one, which are, admitedly, boring – being only accounts of “what I did,” and “how I felt.” Torn between writing like this and writing something topic-based or funny. I guess it’s all really luck of the draw though, because often when I sit down – on or the other seems to come out. My current stance is, it it’s writing itself – it must be what I want to write about. The ones that are forced are the ones that suck. So if I can write three or four or five paragraphs about working on the backyard, and how it makes me feel… whatever.

Changing the subject, I just found out that my work has “identified” me as a person who’d benefit from on-site university courses in the Chinese language. I’ve been enrolled in a one-month class that will teach us “the basic constructs of conversational and business relationship Chinese.” It’s four hours every Friday, and an hour on Tuesdays, for one month. I’m actually extremely excited about this. Not only does it count for college credit (why I care about this, I don’t know), but it’s free and should be really interesting. My only hope is that it’s a quality class where I can really learn something, as I’d love to be able to interact better with the customers in Taiwan.

Well, I’m off to fool around online some more… I’ve been working on the t-shirt store a buddy of mine and I have been trying to start for a while. I think I have a much better solution than the previous way I was approaching things…

Dave out.

Posted on

i hate 80s cover bands

1980s, see how I tie it all together visually?
One more weekend down, I say that like it’s a countdown to something, but not really. Spent Saturday shirking my duties in the backyard and watching football. Sunday we woke up early and went down to set up Sharaun’s classroom, and spent the rest of the day working on the porch in the backyard. Erik came over and we eventually found a rhythm and reached a pace that saw us nearly finishing the thing in one day. I’d say it’s about 95% done, and I’m toying with the idea of taking Friday off to cut in the curves. I gotta say, it’s completely exciting to see this, one of the final large-scale projects, coming together. I absolutely can’t wait until it’s done.

Oh guys, at the risk of perpetuating my image as a crotchety old hermit, I’m now going to make fun of a popular social activity with members of my age group. By doing this, I will surely come off even more curmudgeonly and anti-social than I am now perceived to be.

I’m gonna come right out and say it: I hate 80s cover-bands. Yes, I know, these bands continually play to packed houses and provide 110% pure energy and fun; I still hate ’em. In the area here, there are four or five of these outfits that are really popular, and between them all and their non-stop gigging – you’re pretty much guaranteed to be able to see one of them each night in any given weekend. And, because I’m a member of their target audience, I’ve found myself being drug to a couple of these shows. I’m pretty sure all these bands are really the same band, with some master evil plot to play as many shows as possible – drawing huge crowds of Gen-Xers and, without their knowledge, lulling them into old-age. That’s right – it’s the hidden agenda of what I like to call the 80s cover-band “axis of evil.” Bring in the crowds in their late-twenties, mix them with those in their mid-thirties and early-forties, and use the hypnotic uniting power of Jackson 5 and Bon Jovi covers played in Day-Glo outfits and foot-tall afro wigs to “suck the young” out of ’em all. Do not be fooled… read the truth below…

Sometimes these demons will even mix in a refrain or two of some currently popular song, something by Nelly or J-Lo perhaps, in an attempt to fool the borderline-geriatric into thinking they are listening to something that’s actually “hip.” “Hey! I heard my daughter/niece/cousin singing this song last week! I’m totally relevant right now! If they only knew how cool Uncle Dave really is!” Wrong Uncle Dave! You are a victim, unwittingly being led further and further away from pop-culture relevancy by the comealong tunes of the Pied Pipers of oldness. You think you’re cool? You’re having fun, but try to remember yourself ten years ago, then put your current self, at this show, in a fishbowl and let the you of ten years ago look in for a few minutes. You hear your younger self peeing his pants as he laughs uncontrollably at you? Hear he and his friends snickering and pointing as you sip a beer and bob your head to five white guys playing Marcia Griffiths’ “Electric Slide?” Congratulations, you’re arrived – you’re now completely lost. You’re an adult, you can’t relate, the line has been drawn and there’s no going back – you go to 80s cover-band shows.

I know, I know, I’m just not fun at all. If I just try and “get into it,” I’ll really enjoy it. “Get into it,” eh? Know what “getting into it” is? It’s turning off your “young” people! It’s choosing vanilla, it’s dousing yourself in the same cologne your wore in middle school and hanging out with drunk thirty- and forty-year olds making the best of what scraps they have left… clutching at the last thing they remember being fun and cool. It’s succumbing to male-pattern baldness and choosing the familiar and comfortable, it’s the death of your inner-child. It starts with going to 80s shows, and progresses to yelling at kids to stay off your grass and waking up at 5am on Saturday to hit the “early-bird” specials. Think of the long-term repercussions friends, every concert brings you closer to a news-watching, PTA meeting-going, ad-dult. Much like the little gremlin that tried to suck the soul out of a young Drew Barrymore’s nose in Cats Eye, these bands are busy sucking the collective cool out of their fanbase. Be afraid.

And, of course, the follow-up: I know it’s not quite as bad as all that, but, as with everything, it’s much funnier when exaggerated. I’m sure there are some deeper psychological reasons behind my fear and dislike of these shows, but I don’t want to speculate. People don’t understand why I don’t enjoy it, I mean, “everyone else” does! Well, in Germany in the 1940s “everyone” liked Hitler too, did that make him good? (Oh man, it’s official, I’ve turned into my dad. That Hitler comment, that’s 100% my dad, I can even hear him saying it.) Anyway, more than enough on this, I think you get the picture.

Time for bed, Dave out.

Posted on

In my head, I’m a master of psychology

Your name is Jonas.
You don’t know me. You know nothing about me, OK? So stop tryin’ to perpetrate like you be all knowin’ what I’m about, because you ain’t know nothin’ about what I’m about. Don’t make me cross this stage!

Last night I finally pulled off my toenail. It’s been since August when we hiked Whitney and I ruined both my big toes with ill-fitting shoes and a lengthy downhill trek. The left toe remains a deep shade of purple-black, while the right toe finally gave up last week and has been hanging on ever since. Last night I decided it was go-time, and yanked that thing out. Now I have some freaky looking inverse-toenail thing where it used to be, just the outline of the nail with skin inside it. To be honest, I hope that mofo never comes back – it was always ingrown and crappy anyway since it fell of the 1st time, when I dropped a shelf on it in high school. Stupid toe. Now I guess I just wait until the left one comes off.

Sometimes, when I have something important, heady, or possibly upsetting to say to someone – I’ll broach the subject in a manor that I like to refer to as “choose your own adventure” conversation. It’s a technique that I’ve perfected over the years, by which I slip a very important or serious comment into a conversation right alongside a joke or other offhand comment. My idea behind this is simple, the person I’m directing the meaningful comment at (perhaps a personal question or a pointing out something I’m leery to point out) now has full control of the situation. At their discretion, they can choose to either acknowledge my serious comment, or simply laugh at the joke / pick up whatever throwaway story I padded it with. If they choose to go with the smokescreen comment, they’re telling me we’re not going to talk about the serious issue – and I’ve managed to avoid a possibly uncomfortable situation by bringing it up and forcing a conversation. On the other hand, if they choose to talk about the “real” comment – it makes me seem less “outright” in bringing it up, since maybe they’re not really sure if it meant all that much to me, owing to the way I slipped it in kinda inconspicuously. In my head, I’m a master of psychology.

It’s over, it’s Friday. Gimme a beer, Dave out.

Posted on

tommy of concierge

Many a night started off right sitting here.
I know, I’ve been listening to this album for nigh on a month straight now – but I still crave it on the drive to work in the morning. Even with new and excellent distractions like the Mono and Dungen albums, I find myself still coming back to it, over and over. I like it so much I gotsta get it to you, so here ’tis – fresh and steaming, the 2nd cut off the Arcade Fire album Funeral. Enjoy. In addition, I dunno what language this guy is singin’ in, but the album is just indomitably rad? but don’t take my word for it, listen to this and be convinced. The intro paragraph is over, but here’s more music from Dungen and Arcade Fire.

Remember the last time I was in Taiwan? Yeah, I do too. Anyway, I was there for two whole weeks that last time. That’s the kind of stint where a brother starts feelin’ right comfortable near the end. I mean, the hotel is where I’ve gone home to for two weeks every night, so the hotel gets to feeling quite a bit like a surrogate home. And the hotel work puts us up in while in Taipei is nothing but class, class all the way I tell you. I mean, I’ve written about the princely way guests are treated, the plush accommodations, and awesome staff – because they really do cater to your every whim. I love staying there, I love heading to the bar each night for a bloody mary or two, if it wasn’t for the fact that I’m half way ’round the world from my real life – I might not mind staying at that hotel forever. Anyway, this is going somewhere, I promise.

Last time I was there, I had accumulated some twenty-odd nights of patronage at the hotel this year, and they give you little perks based on the amount of time you stay within a year. I had gotten little manicure kits, free massages and spa treatments, free laundry services, free food, candies on my pillow, all sorts of awesome little goodies. And, having really connected with the bar staff and spent a couple nights going out and karaoking with them, I was more than satisfied with my two-week stay. On my day of departure, the hotel left a feedback form in my room. Having had such an enjoyable stay, I felt obligated to let them know. So, before I went to bed that night I sat down and filled out this little form.

I mentioned how much I enjoyed the stay, and in the write-in portion made sure to compliment the entire staff of Henry’s Bar – giving special nods to Tracy and a friendly waiter who always mixed my bloody mary’s extra well. I also mentioned that the wireless access point that served Henry’s Bar seemed to be flaky. Other than that, I left that little form on my pillow – a glowing review of a well-enjoyed fortnight. And that was that, I had all but forgotten about that little form. Until yesterday, that is.

Yesterday I went to check my “mailbox” at work (really just a big hanging-file cabinet with a folder for me, and everyone else, in it). Lo and behold, a letter from the hotel! Get a load of this (click for a larger version):

Your opinion counts.

Oh man, that is classic. First off, it tells me that this hotel most likely responds to each and every piece of feedback they receive – which is just another example of how rad the place is. Second, on the whole it’s just crackin’ me up. They make it sound like the spotty wireless in the bar ruined my otherwise spotless trip to Eden, like I was gonna be doing serious work in a smoky bar half-torn on bloody marys. I only wanted an internet connection to surf around and maybe read Fark or something. And I love how they acknowledge my comments about the bar staff and waiter in particular, just awesome. If I was a VIP at twenty-some nights, I’m gonna be a freakin’ rock star the next time I go. What a great letter, I love that hotel.

Did you guys read this? Do people not read? Or don’t care that this was why we voted for war? Sorry, I almost managed a whole entry. This blog has inline media, and as a rule that means I don’t type as much. For more reading, check out this site – pretty interesting stuff.

G’night, Dave out.

Posted on

news whore

A woodcut. No connection whatsoever.
Good night, went crazy and bought blinds for all the windows in the house – hung about 2/3 of them tonight… super simple and really makes the place look a lot better. Sharaun got the results of her MRI back today, a near-complete tear of her ACL – which they say is actually slightly worse than a complete tear for some reason – and a probable meniscus tear as well. Intro paragraph over.

As I’ve commented on a couple times before – I don’t know if it’s just me, or if it’s something conditioned into GenXers, but I have a terribly distrusting nature when it comes to a lot of things – politics and news in particular. It’s just hard for me to take anything at face value when I hear/read it in the news or from a politician’s mouth. Perhaps this has something to do with coming of age at the same the the internet did, when the dissemination of information became almost instantaneous, and the credibility of that information became much more suspect as the digital age simplified forgery and fakery and exaggeration to child’s play. Any person can post any information they want, and reach wider audiences than ever before. Not only this, when it comes to news and politics, I was weaned on things like the Iran Contra hearings – I came to know that people lied, even important people. I came to know that the news was sensationalist, and often pandered to particular “target” audiences. And, after time, I came to see the sometimes subtle partisanship in almost all forms of media and news. Maybe some would say I came to “imagine” these things, that I’m paranoid – but I honestly do have a hard time believing everything the news or Candidate A/B tells me. It seems like everyone lies, or adds a twist to things.

One more thing about me, I’m a news-whore. I am constantly and habitually taking 30sec away from work to point my browser to one of the many news sources I frequent. Unlike my I-don’t-know-where-it-came-from mistrust of media and politics, I can pinpoint exactly how where my fascination with the news started. September 11, from that day I on was refreshing the news webpages at least once every half hour to see what was going on out there. That day I became the addicted news-fiend I am now. However, I have somewhat of a conflict of interests here. Being that I both can’t get enough of, and have a hard time trusting, the news. For this reason, I tend to frequent a lot of varied news sources. I usually start off at CNN, for my dose of semi-sensationalist US-focused stuff. I then bounce around between a smattering of liberal and conservative new sources like IndyMedia and Fox News, before I hit the view-from-the-outside sources like BBCNews. Finally I usually wrap it all up by stopping by some news aggregators like Google’s News page and NPR’s front-page roundup. I figure a quick glance at it all is better than single-sourcing. Whatever. How can I type two paragraphs about where I get the news?

I’m beginning to have serious doubts about my witch project. With things changing so drastically in this late part of the game, I’m wondering if she’ll ever even fly. I’ve all but decided that I’m moving away from the original concept of the witch moving up and down a static line, and I’m now going with an adaptation of the Axworthy ghost “big belt driven loop” system. Not only do I think it’ll look better (I can make the witch fly a constant circuit around the yard, where she’ll cover much more ground and her flight path will be much more realistic), I think it’s engineeringly possible (I made up that word). In fact, if I can get it working, I think an Axworthy-style witch would use the prop to its fullest potential. Now to get it done. I bought some ingredients at the Home Depot today, and have been formulating the “new new” plan. I think it’ll work, but it’s really coming down to the wire. We’ll see how it goes.

I’ve been accused of being a little Moore-ish in yesterday’s over-simplification of the “unchecked savages” rationale for war. And, I admit, I did of course inflate the argument by adding little one-liners about “Baptist” church on Sunday and “God-fearing” Americans. The standard premise of the argument is not nearly as ridiculous as I made it sound: that we were bringing some retribution to a nation of people that has too long been permitted to murder, rape, and plunder at will. Adding the notion of ever-righteous, duty-bound world-policing Americans was more for comedy than anything, but also not entirely farce: as I know from experience some people justify it this way. In other words, there is a whole spectrum of degrees to the “making the world a better place” rationale, not just the for right extreme of Democratizin’ and Jesus-lovin’n up that mongrel culture. I’m sure there are people who feel like Iraq’s number simply finally came up on the “you been pullin’ this crap for too long” list, and now they’re getting a bit of well-deserved body-checking.

That’s fine, and less extreme than my original explanation, but I think it still relies on the fact that a whole country, or even a whole culture or religion, is, or has become, “bad.” (Wow, look at all those commas, but I think it’s still grammatically correct, right?) I mean, is not their argument an over-simplification as well? To make a blanket-statement like “that country” or “those people” need to be corrected? All the people in the country? All the people of that religion or race? Really, all of them? Here’s where, I suspect, we’d get into the numbers game. Like the insurance industry, the war industry must have some math they use when talking about “justifiable” non-enemy losses. I mean, to make an omelet, you have to break some eggs… war is a dirty business, right? So maybe the “majority” of the people in that country, race, or religion are bad… and the war machine can “write off” their loss to the greater good. I don’t know. Again I fear I’ve over-simplified. All I wanted to say was, if this is you’re reasoning for the war – I don’t agree but can kinda, looking sideways, see where you’re coming from.

Lord, I gotta get off this political thing. I’m sorry folks, I don’t know what’s come over me. I promised myself I wouldn’t do this anymore. To change subjects, I’ve been listening lately, almost exclusively, to the new Mono album. Some Japanese band filed on the wordless-loud/quiet-noise that is “post-rock” shelf next to Mogwai, Explosions in the Sky, GSYBE, A Silver Mt. Zion, etc. Great background music to have in the cans at work.

If you’ve got time, I found this a fascinating read. If you don’t have time, your own fascination will have to wait. Dave out.

Posted on

Snap into a unilateral war! Ooooh yeeeahh!!
Upgrading the TiVo was an awesome idea. Although, I hate talking about it because it makes me seem addicted to the teevee. While that’s not the case, there are some shows which I am now happier for being able to watch on demand. The Daily Show, for instance, is outstanding, and I never seem to catch it when it’s regularly on. Also, I like recording those sensationalist news-magazines like Dateline and Primetime Live, because sometimes they are awesome. Otherwise, I’d rather be on the computer.

Overcome by laziness and awash in a sea of apathy, I once again made less of my evening than I could have. I wanted to work on the witch, I need to mow the lawn, instead I chose to sit here and write. The grass is long, the witch is not done, and I’m only one lousy paragraph better to show for it. Now I’m sitting here falling asleep and watching the one where Barney is acting sheriff for eight hours and arrests the whole town, that Barney.

You know, I heard an amazing argument in favor of the war recently. The “those people have been allowed to be unchecked savages for too long, and we’re finally taking a stand and showing them we won’t tolerate it.” Whoa whoa, what? I mean, I’m paraphrasing there, but the basic argument is that “these people” (I assume we mean Muslims, or maybe even the slightly more racist, “dusky races of the sands”) are inherently savage and violent. What’s more, we Americans, God-fearing examples of truth and justice, are obligated to swoop in and change them. We have intelligent people in this country who can justify this war as some big “charm school” for the heathens of the Middle East. Rope them wilders, slap ’em on the knuckles with a ruler, and show them the error of their ways. Help them establish a real country where they go to a Baptist church every Sunday morning. Real, intelligent people think this. This, I don’t understand.

You wanna see something really disturbing, check out this website. The internet is gross, I wonder how representative it is of our collective thinking? I really don’t feel motivated, I’m outta here. Dave out.

Posted on

hours and hours of wasted time

Hark! I am swollen with milk. Bleed me.
Nice laid-back weekend, once again the witch-project was neglected as I worked mainly on my own computer and upgrading our TiVo. In one of the easiest mods I’ve ever done, Erik and I slapped in an extra 120GB drive and upping the recording capacity from 40hrs to 141rs. Not that I was really using all 40hrs or anything, it just seemed like a fun thing to try. Now I can keep unlimited amounts of old Andy Griffith and Leave it to Beaver, for, something.

Last week I went back and read the transcript of Thursday’s debate, and believe me it resonated much more in writing when I had time to re-read and digest it all. If you missed the debate, or even if you saw it, I’d recommend reading the words in print. Sometimes, when watching it on TV it’s easy, at least for me, to get distracted – and the candidate’s answers end up sounding like random strings of politic-talk. In writing however, it’s much easier, again, for me, to see the point each was trying to make – and the intelligence and speaking skills of each comes through better. Anyway, reading it again drew out the hermit-of-a political commentator in me, but I shall not bore you, or shall I?

If there was a candidate who was pledging to kill babies if elected, but place no restrictions on gun ownership, and a candidate that wanted to heavily restrict gun ownership to small firearms for self-protection but would kill no babies – who would you vote for? It’s an unfair question, I know – but I’m trying to use it to illustrate a point. I just think, for this election, there are some issues that should bear more weight on peoples’ votes than “pet” issues. And I’m not trying to water down any one issue – if it’s important to you it should bear in your choice – but maybe, just perhaps, in the times and age we live in right now, voters may want to make some concessions to their idea of a “perfect” candidate, in order to avoid catastrophe.

There, I’ve said it, and I know the argument is full of holes and not really well-thought-out, but I think maybe, with a stretch, you can see what I’m driving at. Are you fiercely anti-bovine-growth-hormone? Great, glad you’re opinionated? but perhaps, in light of what’s going on in the world today – you’d better serve our country by voting for someone who’s less anti-BGH than you, in the interest of solving bigger, badder problems first. Then, next time around, when we have some peace and aren’t under threat of attack – then, then you can cast your votes based on the candidates’ stances on bovine growth hormones. Does that make sense?

I know, enough about politics right? But they’re just so dang interesting, I mean, but watch this video, and then read the latest over at Drudge’s place – Kerry is a no-good cheater! It’s like a big, terrible soap opera. We can watch the whole terrible, awkward drama unfold a little more this week with the vice debate on Tuesday and the second presidential debate on Friday – both of which are set to record on my newly-hugified TiVo. Bring on the politics.

I don’t even know, I’m not writing anymore. I’m going to bed. Dave out.