the groovy barn

Indeed he was, my friend.
So, despite some minor hiccups, everything seems to have come over fine. Migrating from a Windows machine to a Linux machine can have its little quirks, like the fact that Linux is case-sensitive and any instances where you’ve ignored file case on your Windows-site code are now broken links on a Linux host. But, with the help of some automated link-checking and human spot-checking, I think I’ve got most things right. Not that you care, but, look, I nearly made a paragraph talking about it. That’s wordcount baby, and wordcount means quality. Right?

A buddy of mine is in Taiwan right now, staying at the “company approved” hotel where my Taiwan girlfriend works as a bartender, so I told him he should pay her a visit and tell her “Dave says hi.” Apparently he did, and she gave him some free fries for “being my friend.” So, if my sheer awesomeness wasn’t enough incentive for you to become my friend – I now come with free french fries. I’m headed back in early December, and I can almost taste the bloody marys and cigars. Oh, and the fish eyes… can’t forget the fish eyes.

I remembered another story I wanted to write down, so here I go. We’re in 8th grade, and one of our passions is just “walking around” town. We’d walk everywhere, loitering first here, then there. One of our old town’s most stickout features was a big tall cement plant that sat along the railroad tracks just off the highway. It had several cool buildings, and a lot of neat-looking machinery and hardware. There were huge conveyer belts running from the ground to towers in the sky, big warehouses, and one really tall “silo” looking thing. Now, I don’t know much about cement or mining or whatever, but pretty much every “materials” plant I’ve seen looked pretty similar. The railroad tracks ran right through the place, presumably for easy loading. Anyway, we were always intrigued by the silo in the distance – and one day decided to walk to it.

When we got there, we ducked under a gate and headed onto the grounds. It was a weekend, so the place was dead. We’d soon find out, however, that it being dead had nothing to do with it being the weekend. We walked to what was the main building, and found some huge roll-up loading doors wide open. Letting ourselves in, we found the place to be completely abandoned. Freshly abandoned though, it would seem, hastily or without care, it seemed, too. Desks still had pens and paper on them, there were calendars on the wall with semi-recent (within a month) dates from the past marked on them, and although there were light-bulbs in the sockets, there was no power. This was no cubicle-farm, it was a huge empty warehouse with a couple “offices” tucked in the back. We explored the warehouse, then set off to explore the remainder of the place.

We climbed to the top of the conveyer belt towers, explored some deep “tunnels” that went underground (with mine-shaft-looking handcart tracks running down them), and just generally poked around the whole place. Finally, satisfied it was truly abandoned, and with a few hours of uninterrupted trespassing bolstering our confidence – we did what any good teenage boys would do: we trashed the place. I remember throwing bricks through windows, tossing rocks at fluorescent lights, and even going to all the trouble to uproot a whole toilet from the men’s room, then sharing the task of precariously hauling the heavy thing up with us as we climbed the thin ladder to the top of the conveyer tower – all so we could toss it from the top and watch it explode in a hail of porcelain ten stories below us. It was awesome. Eventually, we got bored breaking things and decided to explore the silo.

The silo was much taller than the conveyer, at least twice as tall and maybe half that again. As we walked over to it (it was on the other side of the tracks), we noticed that there was a whole other building hiding behind it. Before we hit the silo, we decided to explore our new find. The small building was just an empty warehouse, with a truck-ramp on one side for loading or something. It was a strange split-level thing, one quarter of the floor being about seven feet taller than the remaining three-quarters, and there was a small ladder leading up/down between these levels. What was even better – we were obviously not the first to have discovered the place. The walls were covered with paint, sprayed on, brushed on, all graffiti. This was a party place, this was a hangout. I remember seeing “If you don’t eat your meat, you can’t have any pudding” crudely emblazoned across one will, as well as the requisite Kilroys, peace-signs, and expletives. One wall was a mural of sorts, with the words “groovy barn” in the center. So that’s what we called it: the groovy barn.

There was a pile of charred wood and ashes in a blackened corner of the building, and beer cans/bottles littered the floor – we instantly loved the place. At the base of the mural wall were several cans of paint, they called to us like sirens. Before we knew it we were using our hands to add our own decorations to the walls and floors. We smeared lines from Doors songs, traced our outlines in a human mandala one the floor, with the words “I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together” written in a circle around us. Then we finished up the cans by throwing paint all over the place. We had a blast, but it was clearly time for the final frontier – the silo.

The silo part of the silo was jutting out of a smaller building below. We entered the smaller building and poked around a bit, finding some more graffiti sacks upon sacks of sand or something. The place didn’t look like it had been in a state of disuse for too long. Finally, we found what we were looking for. Still inside, we climbed a small ladder up to a kind of “hayloft” place. The hayloft had a door to the outside, which let you onto a small platform on the outer base of the silo; a tiny, rickety-looking ladder stretched up the side of the silo to the sky. We were scared, but we decided to do it.

I remember being scared out of my mind. There was nothing to hold onto but the ladder, nothing to break your fall if you slipped, and it was high. The rungs weren’t very wide, and the welds to the silo were rusty-looking. Being scared made it even more fun, and after a couple starts, retreats, and some group chest-pounding, we made the final push to the top. At the top, it was awesome. The view was incredible, and you had a feeling of conquest, over fear, over the silo, over anyone who’d be too afraid to do the same – it was the things teenage boys dream of (well, the non-sex things, at least). We did all the “look how high I am!” things you normally do, spit, peed, threw rocks, etc. Finally, we got scared down when a man in a truck pulled up, even though he didn’t spot us we decided it was time to split.

We went back to Rinker (yeah, that’s what the place was called) quite a few times, although mainly just to climb the silo again with new people. I remember one time even taking “the girls” (Kyle and I had significant others at the time) and coaxing them to the top. Eventually, when just the guys and I were visiting, a police cruiser rolled up on us and gave us the standard bit about trespassing and whatnot. After the police thing, we didn’t go back much. I think the last time I went, it was with the same crew I’d first been with – we made one last climb to the top and, in an act of retribution, left my by-then ex-girlfriends name and number with the standard “for a good time call” message in thick permanent marker. While up there, we discovered that were weren’t alone: a huge nest of bees had made their home in the eaves of the silo. Freaked, and having accomplished the slander we set out to do, we headed down and never returned.

I accept your challenge.

I’ve often wondered if our painted messages still exist in the groovy barn, or if Robin’s name and number still make promises of a “good time” atop the silo. Last Christmas I forced Sharaun to take a drive out there and snap some pictures of the place – but I was too chicken to squeeze through the gates and check. Maybe this year… owell. Oh, and this story reminded me of the crane story – I’ll try and get that one out too.

Dave out.

eminent domain

Exhausted.So, things are nearly 100% with the blog migration. I’ve migrated posts, comments, links, pictures, files, etc. There are still some… “artifacts”… that I’m working on, for instance, if you browse through past entries you may see some Chinese characters or find a broken link or five. But for the most part, it’s OK. I’m switching the domain over tonight, so by the time you read this it may have propagated to you or not. Anyway, I’m sure readers will find more errors than I already have by spot-checking, so drop me a comment if something’s not working for you. I’ll still be updating both sites for a week or so until the domain change fully propagates.

Honestly, I’m too tired to write. It’s 11pm and I was up ’til 2am the past couple evenings – I just don’t have any more staying-up in me. So, instead of writing something good… I’ll just tell you what I see right now. I’m sitting in the living room, Cold Case Files is on the TV but I’m not really watching, Sharaun’s asleep on the couch. There’s a cold pot of spaghetti sauce on the stove and some drying noodles in a double-boiler in the sink, our electric filtered-recycled-water cat dish is making the noise it makes when it’s low on water. There are too many lights on for being so late and only one person up, and that makes me think of how much money they cost – not quite enough to get me up and turn them off, I decide. The cat is curled up beside me on the couch, and Sharaun’s worked-too-late-to-cook meal from Kentucky Fried Chicken is sitting in a plastic dish on the coffee table in front of me. I’ve already made up my mind that I’m tired enough to not care that I won’t pick up that dish, or clean those pots, before going to bed. They can wait until tomorrow.

Sorry, that’s it for today. Too much webpage-makin’ and I’ve lost heart. Dave out.

poop

Homonym?
Looks like I’ll be headed back to Taipei in December, the more I go, the more I enjoy going. Now, I don’t want to move there or anything… but I do find myself feeling more and more comfortable each time I go. It has nothing to do with Taiwan, actually, it has more to do with building relationships with the customers and workers over there. It’s “networking,” and the value I see in that, which makes me want to go back and show my face again. Just something I see as increasing my stock, so to speak. How disgusting is it that I use phrases like “increasing my stock,” and talk about “networking,” have I bought into this religion of business-politics that much? Apathy, please save me… I care way to much about stupid stuff. Owell, I think I’m pretty well grounded – despite my yuppy-ish urge to succeed.

I remembered a funny story the other day, thought I’d write it down. Back in college, I shared an apartment with a buddy of mine. Sharaun and I were dating, and she had come over to pick me up to go somewhere – I remember that we were already running late, so we were in a rush to get going. As we were walking out the door to the car, some kid ran up, in a bathing suit and dripping wet from the pool which was close to our place, walking kinda funny and said, “Mister, can I use your bathroom?” “There’s a bathroom right around the corner in the laundry room,” I replied, knowing we had to get outta there. “Someone is in that one!” he said, a pained look on his face. I looked at Sharaun, and she shrugged. I looked back at the kid, “Please,” he said, “I only gotta go number two.” “OK,” I said as I let him in, “it’s the first door on the right.” He ran past me into the apartment and slammed the door behind him.

Sharaun and I went back inside the house and waited in the living room. A couple minutes passed, and we started getting annoyed. Five minutes passed and we were both wondering if we should check on the kid. Ten minutes, and I had had enough. I walked back and asked, through the door, “Are you OK in there?” “I’m almost done,” came the reply. Fine. I went back into the living room to sit down. Another five minutes goes by, Sharaun and I are fairly furious at this point, having lost all hopes of getting wherever we were supposed to be in time. Then, in a flash, the bathroom door flew open and the kid bolted past us and out the front door without saying a word. Caught by surprise, I looked at Sharaun – and we both knew right then and there that something wasn’t right. I rolled my eyes and headed down the hall.

I got to the bathroom before Sharaun. Before she could even reach the door and see what I had seen, I turned on my heel and sprinted to the front door. I burst through and looked frantically left and right, then took off full-steam towards the pool. The kids around the pool turned and looked as I slammed on the breaks at the gate and asked, “Were you guys playing with a kid out here, he was about…,” and proceeded to describe the kid to them. No one owned up to knowing the kid, although they must have been there with him. Frustrated, I did a quick circuit of our building, to no avail. The kid had disappeared. But, you might ask, “Why Dave? Why did you chase that poor kid? What did you see in that bathroom?” Rewind to me walking down the hall and opening that door, already scared of whatever it was that sent this kid running from my place.

The first thing I remember is a sense of utter disbelief, quickly followed by rage. The scene before me was incredible: there was poop. There was poop everywhere. Poop on the floor, poop on the wall, poop on the ceiling. There was poop in the sink, poop all over the toilet, poop on the shower curtain. The places with poop far outnumbered the places without poop. And this no regular poop, this was extra special viscous poop. It looked like someone filled several water balloons full of liquid-poop, piled them on the floor, and lit a firecracker underneath them. There was so much poop, I had to call in CSI to analyze the poop-splatter and confirm a single-butthole theory. OK, so I made up that last part – but there was seriously a stupefying amount of fecal explosion for a little kid who couldn’t have weighed more than 75lbs.

The most painful part of my discovery came as I swept my eyes across the poop-coated room and slowly realized that I would have to clean this up. It was at that moment, not even one second after first discovering the crime scene, that I took off running. Mind singularly focused on tackling that damn kid at full-sprint, dragging his nasty ass back to the apartment, and physically rubbing his nose in the disgusting mess he left like a misbehaving mutt. When I came back empty handed, Sharaun was still standing at the bathroom door in shock and disbelief. There was nothing more I could do, I got out the cleaning supplies and my rubber gloves, and suppressed my gag reflex long enough to sanitize our now-forever-tainted bathroom. Sharaun, being a trooper, grabbed some gloves and a sponge and helped out.

I committed his face to memory, just in case I ever saw him around the apartments again, and sometimes I’d even make a quick sweep by the pool when I heard kids. I never did find that kid. I hate him to this day.

I’m outta here, until next time.

need more dirt

I talk about winter, check it out.
I didn’t write much about it yesterday, because I had to flush the blog buffer, but this weekend was kickass. I took Friday off to cut pavers for the porch, and got about 70% done with the major section, as well as cut all the bricks I’d need to do the sidewalk. On Saturday I formed up the sidewalk and filled it with decomposed granite – then did some eyeball leveling. Sunday it rained, but Erik came over and we worked anyway. Fine tuning the leveling and laying bricks, we completely finished the sidewalk and the rest of the non-cut porch. I have about three hours of cutting and the whole thing is done, 100%. I’m already at the point where I can bring in topsoil – which I’m planning to do this coming weekend. I just need to do the math and see how many yards I need. I want to get sod in before the rainy season really gets here – so that leaves me only a few weeks. It’s do-able.

Big things happening back behind the curtain here at sounds familiar. I’m nearly done migrating the whole blog over to a new system, the open-source b2 weblog system. Eventually, I’ll complete the migration – at which point the whole pharaohweb.com domain will be moving to a new server. If all goes well, the transition should be transparent to the outside world. Anyway, it’ll make it easier for me to write and edit my entries remotely, and the comments and search components will be better. The page will be laid out a bit differently, but it should look familiar enough. Also, the blog will have a different logo – and, t-shirts. Yeah, that’s right. I’m gonna make t-shirts, simply because I can. Even if I’m the only one wearing one, I’ll still think it’s cool. Anyway, that’s what’s coming soon in the blog department. This will be the first day I “double blog” on this site and the new one, in anticipation. Hold on for the switch sometime late this week.

It’s been raining the past couple days here, and getting colder too. With the gray skies and rain, it’s really sending me into a wintery mood – which I love. It’s coming up on my favorite time of year, the holiday trifecta, the cool of winter, the strange desire to be around family or go “back home,” and the perceived “slowing down” of things in general. At least, that’s how it is for me.

And, I have nothing more. Really, I suck. Dave out.

the gyrating women of sabado gigante

Bible-stuff.
Went out to lunch the other day for Afghani food (no, not in celebration of the recent election in which the first person to vote was a nineteen year-old woman). I’d never had it before, and it sounded intriguing. That’s one of the things I like about California, it’s so much more diverse than Florida. Sharaun notices it more than I do though, she’s always amazed at how diverse her class makeups are. I know, it’s silly to call it “diverse” based on the cuisine choices – that’s just what kicked off the idea in my head. Well, I’m happy to say that the food at “Taste of Kabul” was yummy. Too bad my $10 lunch probably paid for some terrorist-camp recruit’s standard-issue pipe bomb, or maybe the poppy-seed startup costs for a budding opium venture. And that folks, is good sarcasm.

Anyway, I didn’t intend to write a paragraph about the restaurant and food, I wanted to write about the conversation. Had a really good conversation, covering the two most “taboo” topic you can think of: politics and religion. It’s awesome when you can have intelligent conversation with someone willing to be objective about things. I guess, to a psychologist, that’s probably the equivalent of saying “It’s nice when you can have a conversation with someone who has a similar opinion to yourself.” I mean, you’re naturally going to think of someone who more or less agrees with you on things as someone with their “head on straight,” or “in his right mind.” What’s intelligent and objective to one person could be ignorant and close-minded to the next, that’s the beauty of opinion I suppose. Anyway, it was a good conversation – and good spiced yogurt-covered dumplings too. Those Afghanis may be terrible at making peace, but they’re not too shabby at making lunch. Sarcasm, again, it’s good to close on a laugh.

Yeah, so, I did watch about half of the third debate the other night? it all seems like rehash now though. Kerry’s a liberal, Bush is bad, I get it. I wasn’t too impressed overall, I kind of just want it all to be over now. No more stupid misleading commercials, no more character-attacks, let’s just vote and be done with it. I was, however, disappointed in the way Kerry (and Edwards, for that matter) brought up Cheney’s lesbian daughter. I mean, how thin is that veil? Everyone knows you’re only mentioning his lesbian daughter because you want to make sure every knows he has a lesbian daughter, not for whatever false premise you’re supposedly talking about. “By the way America, and particularly you, Bible Belt: your incumbent republican VP has a Satan-loving lesbo of a daughter. Do you really want a vice-president who’s seed is so accursed by God that he can father such a moral abomination? I think not. Vote Kerry.” Stupid politics.

Ever since upgrading the TiVo to a ludicrous 140hrs of recording time, I decided to re-enable the “TiVo suggestions” feature. TiVo suggestions is a feature that lets the machine record shows it thinks you might like, presumably based on intelligence gathered from what you watch and what you already choose to record. I decided to enable it mostly as an experiment, y’know, to see how intelligent the thing really is. I thought it would be fun to see what kinda stuff it chose to record, perhaps it would even give me some insight into my own mind. But, alas, I think TiVo suggestions is mostly whack.

It’s been on a little over a week now, and man does it record some odd stuff. This morning I woke up and there were two episodes of some Spanish soap opera it had recorded off Univision. What? I mean, other than stopping on Univision for a minute or two while channel-surfing (gyrating women on Sabado Gigante pretty much stop you in your tracks), I’ve never watched a Spanish show in my life. It recorded two hours of infomercials – what in my viewing trends keyed in on that? It does, however, sometimes get it right – with things like I Love Lucy (it sees Andy Griffith and Leave it to Beaver), COPS (duh), Futurama and the Family Guy (probably based on the Simpsons and Aqua Teen “season passes” I have set). Of course, it’s skewed from purely “my” habits because Sharaun also watches TV. So the “suggested” list is rife with MTV “real life” shows and “making the video” and crap like that. Yup. Paragraph over.

Enough, Dave out.

picking up stakes

Pack it up, pack it in...
Pulled off my other toenail last night, now Mt. Whitney has claimed them both. Hope you had fun Whitney, but my big toenails are a small price to pay in defeating you. You may have the toenails, but I bested you my friend – and I’d do it again even if the price was the same. If there is a “next time” though, you can bet I’ll get some better fitting shoes. Intro paragraph over.

Today I got a mail from my moms, and, like a bolt out of the blue, she dropped this bomb on me:

How do you feel about Christmas in Oregon with us?? Seriously! Dad has decided out of the blue that he’s ready to move – now. We have some movers coming today and tomorrow.

What?! My mom e-mailed me to tell me that they’re moving, to Oregon, like right now. I understand some people are impulsive, y’know, maybe get the sudden urge to take a day off or go for a walk or something; my parents get the urge to move out of state. So, looks like we’ll be headed to Oregon for Christmas this year – which actually kinda excites me. I like the idea of my folks in Oregon, I travel there a little bit for work – so there’s a chance I could see them when I’m up there on business trips. Plus, I really like Oregon, some great camping and outdoors stuff – would be nice to have a place to stay if I’m ever up there “frontiering” or something.

Guys, the witch has beaten me. Although she looks cool as all get out, she won’t be flying around my yard this Halloween. I admit, the project was ambitious. From an engineering perspective, there were quite a few hurdles to get over. Time ran out, plans failed, ideas dried up, ad enthusiasm waned with each little setback. So, for this year at least, she’ll be a static prop. Perhaps she’ll fly around next year, who knows. It saddens me, but I know when to cash out and walk away. Hopefully she’ll still be impressive as a static prop, with the right lighting and maybe some fog. Still wish she’d by flying and cackling though? bummer.

Today’s my Friday, as I’m taking a vacation day tomorrow to work on the porch. I hope I wake up motivated and ready to work. Too often I put on my work-clothes and head out to he backyard with the best of intentions, only to mostly stand around and beam with pride at the work I’ve already done. I have a real problem with that. The closer to completing a project I am, the more time I spend stepping back and admiring how it’s coming together. It gets so bad sometimes I end up in a “do one thing, then look at it” loop, which takes 2x as long as actually working. Usually, for me to knuckle under and do non-stop work with no “admiration breaks,” I need someone helping me to motivate me – or just to be in that rare work-only mood. I’m hoping that happens tomorrow, but that remains to be seen.

Here’s an interesting commentary from Dwight D. Eisenhower’s son, a good read. And, for the other side of the crowd, here’s another article I found interesting, although perhaps a tad paranoid (but remember, I read it through my liberal-tinted glasses). Enjoy.

A short one today, but I don’t care. Dave out.

commercial tendancies

No idea.
As a “blogger,” I think I’m supposed to have a huge list of other blogs I read frequently. I didn’t read this anywhere or anything, it’s just something I’ve noticed about other “blog” sites on the internet. They all have links to another ten or fifteen blogs, and they all cross-link and refer to each other. Not me, I don’t read any blogs. I wonder if that makes me some kinda blog-snob elitist or something? All I do is write and post, and then do it again the next day. Anyway, your blog sucks.

Whatever the impetus is, I’m in that state of writing again where I end up with pages and pages of backlogged, pre-written stuff. I have a Word doc filled with blocks of three and four paragraphs on certain subjects, and on any given day I cobble them together to make an entry. I actually like being in that situation, because I can essentially “take a day off” from writing, not that I don’t enjoy it. I mean, I love writing, or else I wouldn’t have this stupid website, but it is kinda nice to be able to just press “upload” and not have to think up new ideas. Thing is, when stuff keeps happening, I feel compelled to write about it – and then it becomes the entries, leaving the backlogged stuff to go stale. Maybe this week I’ll just work on “cleaning house.”

I’ve talked about daytime TV commercials before, but last Friday I was at home for lunch and I decided to try take it one step further. Usually when I go home for lunch, I check the TiVo and see if there’s something worthwhile watching while I eat my sandwich. Finding nothing this time, however, I decided to go with the default back-to-back hour of COPS that runs simultaneously on Fox and FX. Usually, if you time it right, you can pretty much avoid commercials by switching back and forth between the episodes. This time, however, the commercials were actually what I was interested in. I decided to document the contents of each commercial break during an hour of COPS on daytime TV, noon-to-one, what I would assume is the equivalent of prime-time for the daytime audience. Here’s what I found:

Aladdin Bail Bonds
NFL Sunday on Fox promo ad
Personal injury attorney
Get a degree in criminal justice (stick with what you know?)
Cheap auto insurance (as low as $29 a month!)
Check ‘n’ Go (paycheck loans, not a scam at all)

Valtrex (genital herpes drug)
Gun show at the local expo this weekend (with a banjo music soundtrack)
1-800-DENTIST (“… good dental health may change your life! Maybe get a better job or even an exciting new relationship!”)
Quick & easy auto financing (even with bad credit!)
Public Service Announcement (eat 5-9 servings of colorful fruits and vegetables a day, because X% of the state’s population is overweight)
Cost-U-Less auto insurance

Kentucky Fried Chicken (extra-crispy meal deal, now with a half-gallon Pepsi “mega-jug”)
entucky Fried Chicken (new chicken breast salads)
Carmax (sell your car)
Carmax (buy a car)
Heald College (be a dental assistant)
Kaiser-Permanente affordable healthcare

X-Men video game
Advil Liqui-gels
ITT Technical Institute
Diabetes testing supplies by mail (I think it was the Quaker Oats guy, on horseback, in a canyon)

Hmm… you think that commercial lineup is in any way indicative of what the station sees as their target 12pm-1pm audience? I think, from the information above, we can do some detective work and construct a pretty good idea of the type of person Fox thinks is likely watching COPS during lunch. From my analysis, their target demo contains overweight, uneducated, out of work (probably due to injury), oft-arrested, herpes- and diabetes-afflicted, destitute yet money-lusting folks with poor credit and no insurance.

Did you guys know that Costco sells coffins? Kinda weird, right? Dave out.