catching up

Looked lonely; fit.
Forgive my blog dereliction; it was a busy week in New York. Right now, I’m waiting for the shuttle to JFK in the empty hotel bar, and for some reason I’m really sleepy. New York City was fun for me. I ended up meeting up with Ben’s brother Dave, end was able to kill time with him these past couple nights.

Tuesday night we crashed a work party atop a skyscraper, with an awesome view of the city on all sides and free cocktails and hors devours; ate some fat, fat steaks in a restaurant which bled “old New York;” and ended the evening at a downtown dive called The Happy Ending for a party called “ShitHamerred.” (I don’t really know if it was one word, but it looks better that way to me). The party was drunkenly good, and I ended up catching a cab back to the hotel for a 4am bedtime. Needless to say the next day on the conference floor started a bit rocky, but I maintained. Wednesday I caught the trains over to Williamsburg and we met up for dinner and a stop at the very cool Barcade. Having someone to hang out with really makes traveling more enjoyable. So, New York was fun – we’ve established that; but I’m glad to be leaving… to be going back home and “rooting” again for a while.

At the airport, I broke down and got something to eat, since I hadn’t had the opportunity earlier in the day. For some reason, the golden arches of McDonald’s were extremely appealing, and I got a Big Mac meal. Now, I probably haven’t been to a McDonalds in nearly a year – in fact the last time I can remember was when I was driving from Houston to Killeen to visit my brother at Fort Hood. But, in high school – I took full advantage of the .99 cent Big Macs. I can remember eating them with Andy, I think. Anyway, the Big Mac was OK, but it’s not he point of my story. I wanted to talk about where I ate the Big Mac.

Being that I’m doing this trip solo, I’ve done quite a bit of “table for one” dining – and my Big Mac meal was no exception. I sat down alone at an area of tables which was somewhat removed from the rest of the food court, and proceeded to fill the non Big Mac containing side of my Big Mac box with ketchup for my fries. Not long after I’d sat down, a few Transportation Security Agency employees converged on the other tables near me. Now, I forget, and I know that’s bad, but I forget if the TSA is a new, post-9/11 thing, or if it was around prior – but I guess that’s immaterial. The whole reason for writing this is to get to the point that, if these are the people who are securing our travel… oh boy. I mean, these were kids, and their conversations cracked me up. “Shit dogg, you was so drunk last night.” “I know homie, when I got home my baby-mama was giving me a bunch of shit and I be all like ‘You da one who birfed all dem damn kids, why you gotta be fuckin’ wit me?’” “Awww hells playa, you done told it straight!” “I’m still fucked up right now I think.” “Hell yeah you be lookin’ all to’ up.”

Great, we’ve got the “interlude players” from Doggystyle protecting our airports.

On the plane again. United’s “preferred service” routes between NY and CA, with AC outlets for every seat. So, I can run my laptop the whole time – listening to music, writing, and so far on this trip: working. Yeah, I decided to do a mass e-mail attack and conquer my travel-bloated inbox. Believe it or not, it’s an extremely rewarding thing to do, I get a great sense of accomplishment from taking it from 300+ mails down to 20-something.

So I’ve already said how much I love this Architecture in Helsinki album, but good lord folks – it’s just not getting old to me. My latest love is this track, which, to me, is impossible not to love. The start-stop composition and catchy tune make it loveable enough, but it’s the rolling-drum-backed power-tool-to-scream crescendo that sealed the deal for me. Six months in and I don’t mind saying that this one is in the lead for the laurels in my mind. I have no idea what it’s about, the lyrics are as cryptic as the title, but it doesn’t matter.

Weekend, I’m out.

on my own

Home of bottom dwellers.
The wireless connection in my hotel room is the most frustrating thing ever. What’s worse, it’s my only option. It’s off and on, dropping me all the time, and only giving me sucky connections when it feels like it. There’s one “hot” spot in the corner of the room, which I found by wandering around with my laptop out in front of me – but we’re talking a one foot square area of space about 4ft off the ground in the middle of nowhere. What the heck Hilton, you got nothing?! I tell you what, I wouldn’t recommend this ~$400/night place to anyone. Stay away folks – the hotel blows, the service is lukewarm, and the internet is non-existant. You hear me Connie? Your hotel blows, I don’t care if the legacy of your loins did offer forth Paris unto the world, you are not fogiven.

Today (Monday) was great. As I mentioned yesterday, I wasn’t really sure what this conference had in store for me. Turns out I was done “prepping” at around 9am this morning – and effectively had the rest of the day to do with as I pleased. As I triumphantly packed up my bag and sauntered away from the area where myself and my colleagues were located, I mentioned I was going to get some breakfast and would probably be back down to “check on things” in an hour or so. Even as I was saying the words, I knew them for a blatant lie. I had no intention whatsoever of returning to the conference floor today. I mean, why would I? I was completely setup, and I don’t have to be back until noon Tuesday. I did mention to a fellow employee (whom I’ve never met) that I might be able to offer some assistance with his “prep” later on, and left my cellphone number for him to get in touch with me. Again – knowing full well I would not be answering his calls.

Is this wrong? I don’t know. In some ways, when I do things like this, I do feel slight pangs of guilt. But for the most part, I feel liberated. I get this rebel thing in my head and just ignore phone calls. As soon as I saw the conference area this morning, I made a for-me-only decision: I was going to half-ass this thing. Sound bad? I don’t think so, here’s why: I’ve been working hard; I deserve a little break. So, I’m going to go in there with my dress pants on, stand up in front of people, and absolutely wing it.

Let me take a seemingly unrelated segue here, the reason for which will become apparent towards the end. Sharaun used to tell me to “stop!” doing embarrassing things or acting silly in places like restaurants, amusement parks, grocery stores, etc. – any public place really. My reply to her was always, “Why? We don’t know these people, it’s very likely we’ll never run into a single one of these people again in out entire lives. Who cares if they think I’m an idiot?” So, while not as extreme (I don’t quite want people thinking I’m an idiot), I’m sorta taking that position with this conference.

Anyway, having decided I wasn’t going to make any big investment in the work-bit of this trip, I decided to strike out on my own one-man tour of the city. Yeah sure, one of my new acquaintances from the conference had offered to tag along – but I declined, thinking that a solo adventure might be more interesting, and would certainly be paced more to my liking.

I did it all. I walked to Times Square (took a picture of the MTV building for my forever-teenybopper wife), then over to the Empire State Building (didn’t go up, the wait was two hours and I wanted to make sure I took in as many sights as I could). I caught the subway to Ground Zero, which, not having ever seen the two buildings while they still stood, was not quite as impactful as I’d thought it might be – although surely still a solemn attraction. Then, the guilt started getting to me. I decided maybe I should head back and return to the conference floor, where the multitudes were still milling about and setting up. I bought a return ticket on the subway, and sped back in the direction of the hotel. It was nearly 1pm as I climbed the stairs from the subway up to street-level, which meant my no-breakfast-having stomach was beginning to think about lunch. And what do you know, I emerged from the underground a mere block from the world-famous Carnegie Deli. Seeing that the line waiting to get in was relatively short, I decided to again forsake my conference brethren and instead go for a corned beef sandwich.

The first phone call came as I was waiting in line, a number I didn’t recognize. I didn’t answer; they left no voicemail After my sandwich, I did decide to return to my room and change into pants, since some clouds had rolled in and the city had cooled down a bit. I was only there for 15min before I decided that, since today was really my only “free” day, I’d better take full advantage of it. I made up my mind and decided to make for Battery Park and the statue of liberty. As I took the elevator to the lobby, I found myself hoping that I didn’t bump into any of my colleagues on the way out. I walked through the lobby, and paused at the escalators that would put me back on the conference floor. “I should just run down for a few minutes,” I thought, “Make and effort, make a show of being there, maybe help someone out…” I hesitated, and then turned and strolled out towards the subway.

The second phone call came while I was walking through Battery Park, the same unrecognized number. This time, a voicemail: “Hey Dave, just wondering if you were going to make it back today, I was going to call someone to ask them some questions about setting up my stuff – but figured you may know. Anyway, give me a call at this number or stop by if you’re around. Hope to see you soon.” Ugh, guilt. The voicemail is harder to ignore than a missed call, but I managed to press ‘3’ for delete and force myself to go on with my self-indulgence. I snapped some pictures of the Statue of Liberty (again, opting out of the harbor tour in the interest of time), and got back on the subway intending to make my way towards Central Park. I got of a little early, so I could walk down Broadway and check it out, and eventually made it to the park. I bought a bottled water and one of those strawberry shortcake ice cream popsicle things I used to love so much in middle school, and started on my leisurely trek, pointed loosely towards Strawberry Fields.

I stopped to watch the crowd on Sheep Meadow, took in what looked to be some rec baseball at some fields near there, and finally found a nice bench to plunk down on in front of the Imagine memorial in the Strawberry Fields section. While I was sitting there, people-watching and enjoying some busker’s rendition of “No Reply,” my cellphone rang – the third call. This time it was a different number. I silenced it. Buzz-buzz, a voicemail. I listened, “Hey Dave, this is so-and-so what’s-her-face from the show. Boy, your ‘about one hour’ kinda turned into ‘all day,’ huh? Well, anyway, I’m calling to see if you wanted me to do anything with your stuff. If not, no need to return the call. Hope to see you tomorrow, thanks.” Great; more guilt. But you know, if I had wanted to do something with my stuff, I would’ve gone and done it or let someone know. I was done, and I was not going back. It didn’t matter though, because the sun was setting and a beautiful little girl was dancing around the Imagine memorial, picking up the fresh flowers and twirling around with them. The temperature was perfect, and I felt so relaxed and self-sufficient having ferried myself about town all day. I had about twenty blocks to walk back to the hotel, but it was worth it.

And that’s how I managed to spend a whole day shirking responsibility and still feel good about myself. Tomorrow, I’ll go down there, make up some excuse for being MIA all day, and then get down to business. I’ll do what I do, do it well, and then get out of this place on Thursday. I’m not excited, and I’m hating all the “real work” I’m missing by being here, but I’ll stick it out as always. OK, enough of that.

One thing I will say about New York, it’s extremely easy to get around. I actually expected the opposite, a huge, maze-like city of tall buildings and numbered streets. Turns out upper Manhattan, at least, is no problem. And the subway is great. I can get to pretty much anywhere for $2. One other thing I’ll say about New York, the people here make me feel sorely lacking for not having an iPod. Honestly, they must give them out with the drivers’ licenses or something. You walk down the street and every third person has those distinctive white earbuds stuck in their ears. If I lived here, I’d surely cave to the peer pressure.

Oh… and now I’m pissed. I was on the season finale of Lost (yeah, I watched a whole season in a week or so, so what?), and the dang file is cut off – ends about 20min short! What’s worse, the little download meter tells me I’m looking at more than a day of download time on this hobo wireless connection to get a complete version. Now I have to wait until I get home to watch those final 20mins. I’m mad, yes, mad.

I wrote a lot today, first time in a long time. Felt good.

where’s paris?

Greetings from early America.
The Big Apple; I knew I’d arrived when it cost me $45 and took an entire episode of Lost to get from JFK to Manhattan. Getting in under cover of dark last night, I got a decent view of Manhattan skyline while crossing the bridge – but I’m so unfamiliar with the layout of this city that I didn’t know where to look for anything. The hotel, like many hotels it seems, is insanely posh on the outside – the lobby lush with giltwork and marble, brass fixtures and fountains, etc. But the insides are likely the same insides that were built on day-one – chinked and dirty baseboards, funny-smelling behemoths of air conditioning units, and worst of all no in-room broadband aside from the citywide pay-as-you-go access I can pickup in the room (thankfully). In this day and age I don’t understand how a hotel that caters to a business crowd gets away without having high-speed access, it seems unthinkable… Maybe I’m spoiled by the Sherwood, the measuring stick to which I hold all hotels to.

Getting up at 6am here is hard for my I-know-it’s-really-3am sleeping habits, and I found myself snoozing the alarm for forty some-odd minutes, all the while telling myself I’d padded the wake-up time anyway. One interesting thing about this trip – I probably have less of an idea what I’m actually going to be doing here than any other trip I’ve been on in recent times. I mean, I know I’m presenting at some point – but I just received the material last night; and I know I’m standing on the conference floor flogging product. It’s the logistics of it all that’s got me wondering. I don’t know when the thing starts (I did read that 8am today is when we can 1st access the conference area to setup), what the running times are, when I’m presenting, etc. Heck, they didn’t even have my reservation in the system when I arrived last night – I’m lucky I even got a room here. But… in the end, things worked out. I flopped into this ratty old office chair around 11pm last night and promptly ordered a sammich from room service while firing up the wireless radio in search of a signal. Watched a couple more downloaded episodes of Lost (yes, I am hopelessly addicted), and called it a night.

Oh, and I was totally pumped to learn that the San Francisco to JFK United flights have AC outlets in all their seats, even economy. I plugged in mid-flight and was able to run the laptop the entire time (of course, continuing to tear through season one of that damn addictive show). Seeing how impressed I was by the power, the attendant told me that all their planes had also been wired for wireless access – and we’re simply awaiting the FAA’s nod of approval to “flip the switch” and turn it on. How cool is that? I really don’t think it will be long before the internet is as ubiquitous as radio is today, and you’re able to pick up a signal just about anywhere and get online. My kids will laugh when I tell them that we used to have to plug our computers into the wall to get online – how antiquated – like having to get up and “flip” a record or tape to listen to “Side B.”

It’s 8am here now, which is when I wanted to be walking downstairs. I wanted to give myself as much time as possible to set up, in case the show happens to start at 10am or something. I think, I think I remember hearing somewhere along the lines that this thing doesn’t officially “kick off” until tomorrow – and operating under that very sketchy info I opted not to shave this morning, figuring it for a preparation day only. I truly hope this is so. I would like nothing more than to be able to head downstairs now, be setup and configured in a couple hours, and then have the rest of the day to tour the city. Otherwise, I’ll be headed back up to the room for a shave and change of clothes before being thrown into the fire.

And well, now it’s time to head out. Glad I could manage an entry today, the outlook was grim around 1am last night when I was too tired to write. See ya.

discovery

Today was the first day I could afford to slack.
I’m back. If only I could offload this NYC trip next week, I’d be perfectly happy. The laundry has overflowed the hamper in the closet, and is spilled out in piles on the floor. I have to step over mounds of it to get to my clean clothes on hangers. It’s been that way since the three weeks in Taiwan, we’ve just never caught up from that, and combined with my other travel… things around the house are pretty much stagnating. Going away for another week will only perpetuate my nagging “barely keeping up” feeling. I need some time to be where I normally am and catch up on my normal routine. Oh, and I’m’a get it… I’m’a definitely get it after this New York trip… when travel should dry up for a good couple months.

Filmmakers, advertisers, and marketers, as part of your target demographic – I have to tell you something that may shock you: The seemingly always-funny combination of elderly people and hip-hop music/culture is not funny anymore. It’s just not funny anymore. Yeah sure, I can remember the day when I once got a chuckle from that old lady spitting classic Sugar Hill in that one movie teaser. But guys, that was a looong time ago. Geriatric Ebonics is past it’s prime, much like the only-for-white-people-now 1980s “-izzle” speak that Snoop brought back into vogue – it’s just over. As a marketing device that made middle-aged white people feel relevant, it was a screaming success… but nothing can last forever. Even totally awesome marketing campaigns eventually come to an end. R.I.P. Bud Bowl, Coors Twins, and yes… rappin’ granny. Your time has, mercifully, come to an end.

Usually, I hate to write about TV… mostly because I hate to think that a television show could be an important enough part of my life to were I’d spend time writing about it. But, I’m gonna break my unwritten writing rule and write about TV. Recently, one of the networks or cable channels starting replaying the series “Lost” from the beginning. Sharaun and I had heard quite a bit about the show previously, so we decided to sic a TiVo season pass on it. The other night, we finally got around to starting it – and I was immediately rapt. This show was seemingly written with me in mind. It’s got people stranded on a desert island, using their wits and brawn to survive, which by itself is enough reason for me to tune in. But on top of the island thing, it’s got secret codes and stuff. The other night, Pat was saying that all it needed to be stolen from my brain was a Henry’s Bar on the island. Anyway, I watched three episodes last night, and kicked off the downloads for episodes 4-12 when I got home from work tonight. The plan was to watch them as they air over the summer, but having them at my fingertips on the intarweb is just too irresistible to pass up. OK… sorry.

I leave you with a tale of blogging in the news again, goodnight.

a hardcore caveman

It's good to be back.
When we got on the shuttle that took us from the Denver airport to the hotel, they gave us a couple pieces of advice: 1. Make sure you drink more water than normal, because you get dehydrated easier at the city’s elevation; and 2. Any alcohol you consume here has double the impact it would in your usual lowly-elevated cities. I dunno, but #2 kinda sounded like a science experiment waiting to happen to me. And, after last night, I can say with confidence that, for me at least, it ain’t true. I kept track of my intake last night so that I could double it the next day and see what I “Denver-drank.” Turns out, if the doubling rule holds true, I Denver-drank fourteen beers and four shots. If I had drank that in the span of last night’s outing I’d’ve been supremely blasted… and I was only pretty plowed (yeah, there’s a difference).

Still, the cigarettes did the most damage. When someone saw me with one last night and cast an inquisitive glance, I nodded toward my smoking hand and, over the thumping bass, said, “Only when I drink.” “How often do you drink?,” quipped back my friend. “Only when I smoke,” I replied. I’ve kind of figured I’ll never really learn with that one… I’m sure there was one caveman who insisted on sticking his hand in the fire over and over just to see if there was one time it wouldn’t burn him; I’m that caveman. I guess I could have worse alcohol-induced vices, like hookers or barfights or seizures. Well OK, maybe seizures are a stretch, but you know what I’m saying. I’m merely flirting with cancer, at least I’m not running the risk of flopping around and swallowing my tongue. What the heck? Ahhh… In bed by 3am, up by 5am to catch my flight… a hardcore caveman.

It was a good way to end the conference, cast off the pressures of the preceding week, and let loose a bit. We ended up at the Coyote Ugly bar, the likes of which I’d never been to before. The bartenders are all attractive young girls who split their time between serving up the firewater and dancing provocatively on the bar for the audience of ogling men. The place is kind of a laugh really, watching a whole crowd of men under the complete spell of two or three scantily-clad women dancing on the bar… holding out fistfuls of bills for more drinks, whistling and catcalling, and snapping pictures. Someone said to me while we were there, “This place is like the halfway house between stripping and bartending, ” and that’s about as accurate a description as you can give it. But, I had a good time. Those girls own their 99% male audience, and they know it. I was thinking what a feeling of power that must be, and how if I was a hot chick with little inhibition I might like to strut around on a bar and sling drinks to make my way through college or something. Anyway, the beer was cold, the music was loud, and I’d never done body shots before – so all in all it was an enjoyable experience.

I don’t understand what the hang up is about driving with the windows down and the air conditioning on. Why is this so bad? I love having the windows down when I drive, but sometimes it’s a little too warm for my taste if the sun is beaming directly on me, so I turn on the air. This seems to confound some people. I think the idea is that I’m somehow “wasting” air conditioning. As if filling the shut-up car with it is any less “wasteful.” It’s not like there’s a true thermostat in my truck and the air will only come on to maintain a set temperature. When I use the air with the windows up, I just turn it on and leave it on to maintain a temperature that I like. How’s that any different than doing the same thing with the windows down? I like the fresh air, and the cold breeze from the air vents… is that so hard to understand? A waste of gas, you say? Bah, if the windows were up I’d surely have it on anyway. Get off your high horse and let me enjoy my air conditioning however wastefully I choose. I also mix regular trash with recyclables and pour motor oil down the stormdrain, so take that… hippy.

My entry yesterday generated three comments, that’s not bad really. Well, of course I got 753 online poker and natural viagra comments that got trapped by the spam filter. But three legit comments is a big deal for me. I’m not some superstar blogger who gets fifty comments on his every post, I’m just some writin’ dude who has six friends who know his web address.

No, I don’t really pour motor oil down the stormdrain. Catch ya later.

threat level blue

Get it?
I think they heard my sigh of relief back in California this morning. It’s done. The presentation I spent weeks slaving over, sweating and raking fingers through my hair over, is, itself, over. And people, let me tell you that I feel great. My cramming paid off, my practice showed, and I came away from both sessions feeling great. And despite my good intentions last night, the beers I couldn’t seem to avoid didn’t seem to bother me at all. I am so glad it’s over – I’ve never been as wrung out over just a simple presentation… and I’ve done more than my share in the past. It’s just that I had precious little time to prepare, and knew it would effect my performance if I didn’t invest the proper amount. Luckily, I pulled it off. And now, with a great sense of relief – I’m done writing about it. In fact, I’m trying to be done with my writing-about-work streak… this should be it for a while. I want to get back to the regular stuff, the mundane stuff. Like…

What is it about dress slacks that makes them seemingly more prone to ass-smell? I mean, I’ll accept it as a given that any pair of pants, regardless of dressiness, will eventually inherit some ass-smell with repeated wearings. It’s a fact, something that is in that close a proximity to ass for an extended amount of time will of course begin to smell like ass. But, with dresspants, at least for me, the time it takes for the ass-smell to migrate from in-my-ass to in-the-fabric-of-my-pants is really reduced over “normal” type pants. Like this morning, I got dressed in my freshly laundered khaki slacks and headed down to my classroom to present bright and early at 8am. I presented until around 10:45pm, and then headed out to help a friend setup some equipment. As I was lifting heavy boxes and stuff, I got a whiff of something that smelled like ass. But, how could this be? I’ve only had the pants on for a mere four hours! How in the world can the ass smell be here already? But, it was. The ass smell was definitely there. I dunno, it must be something with the fabric. Or my ass. Or something. I really hope other people (dudes, I’m suspecting) experience pants-ass-smell, and that it’s not unique to me. I didn’t really think about that before writing this…

Now I’m sitting in my mile + 12 stories high hotel room, getting ready to take a nap.

Awesome.

rock bottom

Treed.
Friday. Friday. Friday.

Too late. No time. I’m screwed.

The presentation I slaved over into the wee hours last night went off without a hitch, and even garnered positive feedback. My laptop is back with a shiny new install of WinXP, and is running like gangbusters (whatever that means). You’d think I’d be happy, relieved, maybe even a bit relaxed. Shit no I’m not. I am literally feeling crushed tonight. I’m freaking out. I did my first dry-run of my big conference presentation tonight, me and the stopwatch on my cellphone, in front of the mirror – an open notebook to jot down thoughts as I ran through my material in “presenter mode” for the first time. Oh, it went OK for the stuff I knew it’d go OK for; and it bit for the stuff I was a little unsure about. The worst part? The damn thing only took me ~30min to get through. That’s a disaster folks, a disaster. I am will be up in front of these people for 70min, and expected to talk for at least 60 of those. I have a problem, and the only way to solve it is to pad my material and get a better grip on what I’m talking about. But right now I just can’t help but see a persistent vision of sand running out of an hourglass in my head… time’s a wastin’. I have tomorrow, and the weekend, and perhaps some of Monday… and then it’s go-time. I’m frustrated, I’m worried, I’m nervous, and to be honest I just want to run away and hide until it’s over.

And I just don’t want to work right now. I want my night back. I want to sit here and watch TV with my wife, and I’m going to. I don’t care. I mean, I care more than anything right now – but I just don’t care. Sometimes we can get to laughing about something and I almost forget my misery. Whatever, I’m tired of waking and working being synonymous. I’m letting the little things slide, but they are making me big unhappy. I hate that I’ve forgot to take out the trash the past three Thursdays, and have had to jump out of bed at the sound of the trucks on Friday morning to try and get it to the curb in time. I hate that I’ve started letting the lawn get longer before I mow it, and that the night’s dinner dishes now linger in the sink until just before the next night’s meal. The little chores I took pride in not three weeks ago are all screwed up. Whatever… I’ll make it up this weekend, I’ll do something, I’ll do whatever. I’ll make something happen. I don’t even want to write about it…

Good night.