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how not to ride a bike


Welcome to my Tuesday night folks. Wanted to get a haircut on the way home from work, but the place looked packed to the gills on a driveby so I opted out. Figured I’d mow the lawn instead, but Sharaun had dinner ready nearly as soon as I got home. Boo-hoo, I had to instead sit on the couch and spend my time uploading pictures to the internet for your viewing pleasure. For those of you who are picture-whores, I’ve uploaded the latest batch of pictures to Keaton’s gallery. And then, as an added bonus, once you’re done marveling at the cuteness of our daughter – I’ve finally completed (or, made current, rather) the huge gallery dedicated to the three-year long project that is our backyard. From breaking ground to yesterday, all in photos – waste some time and watch it change at the backyard gallery.

When I was a kid, I had a book called The Bike Lesson, featuring the Berenstain Bears. The story followed Junior Bear getting a new bicycle, and Papa Bear attempting to teach him all the important lessons he’d need in order to safely enjoy it. Only thing was, Papa Bear made for an awful example. He ran over big rocks, rode off a cliff, even ended up in a tree. Because he was so terrible, he ended up turning most of his lessons for Junior into “how not tos” instead of his intended “how tos.” That’s what I feel like my program at work is like right now: How not to run a program. Everything that could possibly go wrong on a program has gone wrong, and the morale of the larger support team is suffering as a consequence. I’m not talking random, act-of-God, type things going wrong – I’m talking about shortsighted people making stupid decisions and classic planning and execution missteps. It’s so frustrating to be at the helm of a floundering ship, to have to stand there and proclaim “all is well” while you’re secretly wishing the whole damn thing would just go under.

Sharaun and I have decided that we are going to have our annual Halloween party this year. Keaton will spend a few hours with a babysitter. We actually debated this quite a bit, as my first tendency was to feel selfish and guilty wanting to be able to have the party as usual – but the more we talked about it the less negative I felt. She’d only be away for a few hours, and in capable hands, and dad would get to show off his new prop (an animatronic scary scarecrow, as I’ve already decided). We’ve also got a family-themed costume idea, although Keaton likely won’t be around to show it off by the time people start arriving. I’ve always wanted to strike a balance between being a protective, involved parent and one who’s not obsessive about never being away from their child and can’t enjoy their adult-time. It’s amazing though, how much you don’t want to be away from them… part of the plan, I suppose.

Goodnight folks, the media makes up for the lack of writing, OK? OK.

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in summary


With my new laser-tuned eyes getting better and better with each day since the surgery, I expect to be able to see through steel sometime next week. As it is now, I’d be hard pressed to come up with an instance of money better spent. I’d recommend the surgery to anyone flirting with the idea – there really is no reason not to (unless it’s 1900 one-dollar reasons). Seriously, unless you’re one of the unlucky .01% for whom the surgery results in blindness and/or impotence – there’s no reason not to have this vanity procedure.

My brother got into town on Thursday, and we spent the weekend in the backyard clearing weeds and planting groundcover. I always get the most work done when I have someone working with me, it just makes time go that much faster. We got a lot done, but I’m hoping to get a lot more done in the coming days. With a work-partner, I seem to have so much more motivation than when I’m out there single-manning the thing. I’ll try and get some pictures of the work up on the galleries before mid-week, maybe alongside the week twelve Keaton update I’ve got planned for Tuesday night. Yes, I know, I’m the only one who’s really “teased” by these “coming soon” writeups… but I’ve got to write something.

Next weekend we’re headed out for Keaton’s 2nd camping trip – a two-day stay this time, on the middle fork of the American River. Should be a good affair, lots of folks signed up and I’m hoping to get out of work early on Friday to head down and stake out the best spot. We’ve done this trip many a time before, and know the campground well – it’s a gorgeous spot the only drawback of which is the fact that there’s not a whole heck of a lot to do aside from sit around and relax. A buddy suggested we setup some horseshoes – and I think that’s an excellent proposal. Then of course there’ll be the standard camping fair of fire and food cooked outdoors.

Man… I’m really struggling for things to write here… anyone got ideas? Let’s do some canned stuff written last week.

Pitchfork’s track-by-track detailed review of Thom Yorke’s pending solo effort is simply tantalizing. It’s supremely frustrating that this reviewer has had a chance to hear the effort (and even moreso since he reviews it positively). I cannot wait to hear this album, it’s like a Radiohead fan’s wet-dream to get a Yorke solo outing in the same year the band drops a new album. And, unless the review was done on an invitation-only listening party basis – it does offer some hope that, if there are promo copies in the wild, leaks will trickle down shortly.

So, in summary: I love camping, get your eyes lasered, brothers make good laborers, and let’s all hold our breath for Thom’s album.

Oh… and my trapped-spam comments count is about to hit 30k… a milestone, I think. Goodnight.

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fingers crossed


Midnight on Thusrday night (early morning): Lasik-Eve.

I stayed up late to watch the season finale of Lost, and because I have no work to wake up for tomorrow – just a 10am appointment for Lasik surgery. I’m ready; ready to see. I had like four paragraphs written, but they were all boring so I’ve moved them into the bin, where they’ll get appended to shorter entries over the next week. For tonight, however, I have nothing much at all. I wanted mainly to write about how anxious I am to get this surgery done – not anxious/nervous… more anxious/excited. Maybe tomorrow sitting in a room awaiting the laser… maybe then I’ll be more nervous than excited, I dunno.

The surgery is at 10am, should last about one minute for the whole thing (cornea-cutting and eye-burning), but there’s probably a half-hour to hour of waiting and other “prep.” They dose me with some kind of sedative prior to going in, so they’ll need at least time for that to set in once I’ve arrived. The, I’m off home (Sharaun as my driver) to sleep it off. They recommend as much sleep as possible immediately following the operation, as there can be some discomfort as the anesthesia wears off – but apparently not enough to wake you if you’re sleeping. So, I plan on sacking it out for as long as possible post-op – although I’ve heard that with some folks you can even see an improvement as soon as walking out of the doctor’s office, albeit a haze-shrouded improvement.

They told me I’d be able to go to work as normal Friday, even drive myself in.

Wish me luck.

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oh how i’d miss the porn


Lasik tomorrow. Ben asked me if I was nervous about putting my eyes nuder the knife/laser. My immediate answer was “no,” as I’m actually not that nervous about it. Perhaps naive considering it’s elective surgery and has inherent risks – but my confidence has been so bolstered by the successes of my friends who’ve undergone the procedure, and the success rate overall. The only time I do get a tad “concerned” is when I think of it in terms of putting my vision on the line – more specifically, when I think that the worst possible result could be permanent blindness. I know this is incredibly rare (one out of millions, according to the stats), but boy… would that blow. As small a concern as it is, I have caught myself shutting my eyes tight for brief moments over the past week, in an attempt to get an idea what it might be like to be sightless for good. I know it’s a bad point of comparison, as I can simply open my lids and have the world once again revealed to me – but it does provide a bit of realism to the thought. At least, if I go blind, I’ll still have music. But porn, people… oh how I’d miss the porn.

Funny how things can change so much from day-to-day. It was just yesterday I wrote about being frustrated at work, and then this morning I went in and reopened stale tasks with a new vigor. Maybe writing about it was my own form of catharsis or something. Whatever happened, I just went in this morning and grabbed the reigns again. The afternoon was largely made up of meeting with various folks to inform them of the new direction I’m pursuing – all of which went well. For the moment, at least, I feel like I’m back in the game and contributing again. I guess it really could be as simple as being a work-only manic-depressive…

Let’s do a quick-bits roundup: Sharaun talked to her mom today, I guess all the ladies she works with now have a picture of our daughter being chased by a bear as their Windows desktop wallpapers. This makes me happy. Have successfully ripped and tagged over ~14GB (~4000 files) of Beatles bootlegs with my best-use-of-wasted-time Godfather script. I’m now on the home stretch, having nearly all my discs completely digitalized. It’s taken a couple years, but it was worth (or will be) worth it. Been working my “best albums of 2006, so far” list (a new “thing” I’ve been wanting to do here), and it’s coming along nicely. Aiming for sometime in June (y’know, to kinda reinforce the whole halfway thing). OK, done with that stuff.

I know I’ve written about edgewoodhospital.com before, but it’s inspired at least another paragraph. Let me first reiterate how much I love the site. Not only is it a timepiece for several generations, it’s gained quite a following of regulars who are digging up old pictures and posting them. These snapshots of parties past at Edgewood elicit the best comments from the site’s readers. People recognize people, recognize events, relive and share memories… I only wish I had some pictures like that from all the stuff we did as kids. We didn’t have an Edgewood where we’d go drink Budweiser and smoke Marlboros, but we did have several other “hangouts” where we could safely indulge in the excesses of youth while remaining relatively free from “the man.” Our main ones were: the pits, Skyview, the tracks, Barton extension, Hoo-Hoo, and BP. We had some good times at all those places, even spent the night at one of ’em a couple times – camped out in our cars, too stoned to want to leave. I wish I could make a site enshrining our teenage haunts, something along the lines of edgewoodhospital.com where folks could create accounts, upload old pictures of of kids being kids at those sacred places… comment on photos and carry on conversations. I would do it, but I have doubts I’d be able to properly publicize it – and it’d stagnate. But it sure would be fun to work on…

Any old cronies from the Rock read this? Anyone down? Leave me a comment if so.

And, before I go, just so Sharaun doesn’t read this and give me grief for talking about porn where anyone and their brother can go read it – I wouldn’t really miss the porn. I’d miss the internet, but the loss of porn would be an easy tradeoff. OK? Summary: Dave = not into porn as much as the tongue-in-cheek title may insinuate (it’s comedy, remember).

Goodnight.

Posted on

work-shirking


Lots of words, little to say. Random stuff I put together to make an entry.

So what do you think folks? I mean, about the blog, that is. How’s the blog doing these days? Still keeping your interest? Still inserting enough media and humor and current-event stuff to be relevant and entertain you? I dunno, I’m not thinking of giving up or anything – just interested in a blog “physical” of some sorts… wondering what’s working and what’s not. Strange I guess, when, ultimately, I don’t care… I’ll write what keeps me writing in the end. But I try to keep a good pace: funny stuff, pictures, charts, etc. I feel like I post often enough to consider myself a “regular” blogger, not some fly-by-night joker who posts next to never. I think I’m doing a fine job… right?

Does being a dad make you dumber?

I, for one, am beginning to wonder. Before we had Keaton, I prided myself on my ability to multitask, think clearly and logically, and plan with multiple contingencies. I was the “solid” one between Sharaun and I: the one who paid the bills, the one who would’ve been on time had she not held me up, the neat-freak, etc. But now, something seems off… ever since Keaton was born, I feel sometimes like all my cylinders aren’t firing properly.

Take for instance Sunday night, we had been invited to a birthday soiree down at the local pizzeria for a friend of ours, had known about it since early in the week and was actually looking forward to it. Come Sunday though, Sharaun and I both blanked on it. Sitting on the couch, eating some Chinese takeout, and watching TV – we got a call from someone at the fete asking us, “You guys still coming?” Case #2: After missing my 2nd Lasik evaluation last week, I’d rescheduled for Monday morning – even blocked out my work calendar from 8am-1pm so I’d get no meetings scheduled on top of it. Problem is, I didn’t write down what time the actual appointment was. Feeling like a heel, I just headed up guessing 9am (and got lucky). Strange though, those kinda brain-farts never used to plague me so…

Interestingly enough, I picked up a copy of Scientific American while sitting in the waiting room of that Lasik eval and happened on an article about how women’s’ “multitasking and cognitive” abilities actually increase during pregnancy and after childbirth. In addition, the study noted that fatherhood had quite the opposite effect on men, their multitasking and cognitive abilities showing a decrease upon the miracle of childbirth. Almost like a trade, the man seemingly giving up some of his mental-mojo so his mate can better care for the new life they created (my editorializing). Anyway, it was comforting to see that I’m only getting stupider because of science, not because of anything I’ve done (unless you count making a baby). Now… what the heck was I talking about…

Well, despite a series of hiccups with my Lasik schedule – I did manage to bottom out on price and dates and setup an appointment for lasering this Thursday. That means, as you read this, I have only two more days as someone who’s vision-impaired. I managed to do a little wheeling and dealing, bringing the cost down to something I feel is fair – although I still have this feeling I could get a couple hundred more knocked off if I really played hardball. For me though, I have the money – and at some point during the negotiations I began to feel guilty, quoting “fake” prices I’d got from “other” Lasik places… but I did manage to get the original quote reduced by $400 per eye. That’s on the best laser currently available, at least according to my research. I’m now more excited than ever, and literally can’t wait to go under the knife/laser and get it over with. I have high hopes that I won’t be one of the unlucky 1/10,000 folks for whom the surgery actually worsens their vision… keep your fingers crossed for me, k?

Work has been hard for me lately. Not the part where I get up and go to a building every morning at 8am, not the part where I sit at my desk or go to meetings or send mails. No, not even the part where I meet deadlines. The part that’s been hard has been the actual “work.” With some recent shakeups that’ve been going on, I’ve become horrible unmotivated. Oh, I’m still getting things done, sure… but I haven’t cared for more than a week now. I know this will pass, it always does… and then I realize my “not caring” has put me into a little hole that I’ll have to do double-time to dig out. This is fine with me, it’s a known cycle and I’ve accepted it. It’s almost like I have a manic-depressive or bipolar work ethic. For months I’ll be balls-out, 200% burning the candle at both ends and proud as hell of the work I’m doing. Then the lull will take over, and I’ll go into a “maintenance” phase where I’m simply reactive, doing enough to get by and keeping a low profile. Thankfully, the overdrive times seem to outnumber the lulls, leaving me with a solid B+/A average – again something I’m comfortable with. I don’t see an easily identifiable endpoint to this current funk; Thursday’s surgery won’t help, neither will the long weekend or the following weekend’s planned camping trip. The week-and-a-half long trip to FL in July certainly won’t shore up my dedication, and sunny summer days are like the crack to my work-shirking crackhead personality.

Love ya peoples, goodnight.

Posted on

back for more


Lazy Saturday spent on the couch trying to catch the iPod repeating a song on random; gray and rainy Sunday with a trip to church in the morning and not much more than a banana and some peanut butter to liven up the afternoon. I didn’t have big plans for the weekend, but it’s not like there was a lack of things I could’ve been doing. There’s so much to do around the house. I could’ve fixed the one sprinkler in the backyard that still doesn’t pop high enough; I could’ve fixed the pocket door in our master bathroom, which has been off its track now for probably a year; could’ve replaced the filter in the air conditioner intake thing; could’ve used the blower to clean the cobwebs off the ceiling of our front porch; maybe pulled the plethora of weeds rooted in my backyard. But no, I did none of those things, instead I sat around surfing the web, holding the baby, and listening to music. I did, however, manage to upload a new series of pictures to Keaton’s gallery, so you should go check those out now.

Speaking of Keaton, I’m happy to say that she’s “officially” sleeping through the nights now. The few long ones she had before were encouraging, but since it wasn’t consistent we weren’t quite ready to say it was real. Now, though, she goes down for between 8 and 9hrs each night – sleeping right through to morning. Now, this isn’t that much of a change for me, being as I wasn’t the one waking every 3hrs to stick my teat in her mouth – but I know Sharaun appreciates it. I keep telling Sharaun that if and when we have another baby, we’re gonna be lucky if he or she is half as good as Keaton is. We’ve had it so “easy” with this little one: she’s not fussy, she’s playful and cute, and she’s sleeping all night before 3mos. Keep it up Keaton, I’m fully expecting a valedictorian cheerleader who shuns sex, drugs, and rock ‘n’ roll. Fingers crossed…

Tech content ahead, readers beware.

After all my surmising and postulating last week about what the cause of my website slowdown was, I think I’m comfortable now saying that I’ve ID’d it and addressed it. Over the weekend I continued to see solid performance from my blog and gallery pages, and my loadtimes on the backend were vastly improved. So what, you may ask, was the issue after all – and what did I do to fix it? I promise this won’t be another long webmaster entry, just bear with me.

The culprit? The Omni Explorer bot. A nasty, dirty, incredibly aggressive bot which was crawling my webapges with such frequency and voracity that it managed to gobble up gigs upon gigs of my bandwidth. I zero’d in on the Omni bot through my usage statistics, noticing it was the number one requester of my site over the past few months. Keying in a simple Google search brought up several folks ranting about the bot, and it’s unquenchable thirst for data. Eventually, I landed on the webpage of the bot’s company, where a goofy-looking apology about its aggressiveness is posted along with instructions on how to block it from indexing a site. In the end, I went with a stricter method of blocking than the Omni Explorer page recommended, as I’d read elsewhere that the thing had been caught ignoring the file they suggest using as a block.

I changed my .htaccess file, uploaded it, and the results were both immediate and amazing. My site sprang to life, responding to requests in a timely manner and looking spry again. And, so far, things have remained that way. So that’s it, the story of how I resurrected my site by denying the raping, ravaging Omni Explorer crawler/bot.

And, before I leave the topic of blogging, I wanted to mention that I added a live spam-comment counter to the sidebar. It shows how many comments the my Akisment spam blocker has currently shot down since it was installed. Check it now, and refresh the page when you’re done reading this entry to get an idea of frequency. Stuff like this is fun for me…

Nerdy stuff over, for those who skipped it.

Before I go, I wanted to pass along a link to what I thought was a great idea: an invitation for folks to list their most “visceral” song moments, right down to the whens and whys of it. I did something similar once, although I think my theme was more “songs that give me chills;” but, it still fits. And what do you know, Teenage Fanclub’s The Concept shows up on both my list and the one linked above. Honestly, it doesn’t surprise me that much – I knew there was something magic about that song the 1st time I heard it… still gives me chills to this day. I actually thought it might be fun to go back and revisit that entry, adding additional information along the lines of what’s on the goodhodgkins.com list (along with the actual song). Maybe sometime this week…

Goodnight, I have nothing more for you.