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don’t forget to remember

Monday again.  Spent today (Sunday, as I type) working in the yard, getting things ready for the Fall: pulling in the patio furniture, covering the BBQ, mowing, trimming, edging, and all other manner of yardwork and “winterization.”

Know what makes me a little sad?

Thinking about how Keaton won’t remember anything from these days.  I mean, for us, we feel like these days are building some of the best memories we’ll ever remember.  I mean, every day she says something new, learns something new, does something new – and all of them are exciting and new to us too.

Today, for instance, upon waking from her nap Keaton wanted to come “help” me work in the yard.  So, instead of edging I decided to pick up the leaves from the trimmed hedges, figuring she might be able to help me.  So we were both out there, stuffing leaves into the garbage can and gabbing.  She would pick up all sorts of stuff, rocks, sticks, dirt, and ask me if she could put it in the garbage can.  That kind of talking, interacting, whatever… that’s the kind of stuff I’ll remember one day in the home.

Too bad she won’t.

The brain is weird that way I guess, with the forgetting, and all.  I mean, right now, her memory impresses me on a regular basis.  For instance, with all the work I’ve been doing on the Halloween props lately, Keaton knows the holiday is close.  And, she keeps asking me when I’m going to put the pumpkin on our porch, “like yesterday,” as she puts it (to her, “yesterday” is a generalized term for anything that happened in the past).  What she really means is last year.  She actually remembers last year’s Halloween – a whole dang year ago, and when she was only one and a half.

But, as much as her memory seems elephantastic right now, I know she won’t be able to remember that first Halloween forever.  I suppose, as new things get pushed in, the old things get popped out.  In engineering terms, when you have limited space in which to store pieces of data, and the new stuff displaces the old, we call that a FIFO structure (first-in, first-out).  Guess our brains are big FIFOs.  I dunno if it’s that simple, or the brain is more selective with its memories… but it sure does seem crappy that she can remember a year back now, but won’t be able to in another two or three years.

Owell, I guess it’s just up to Sharaun and I to take good mental notes.  Because, when she’s fifteen and we tell her about how she used to call Mini Wheats “Winnie Meats,” our word is all she’ll have to go on.

Goodnight, happy weekbeginning.

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this whole thing was supposed to be about hands

I think I may have written before about how, despite the fact that time has marched through my life just the same as it has the world around me, I don’t really feel much older.

I mean sure, there are the outward signs: I’m married, balding, have a lovely daughter nearing three years of age, pay a mortgage (take that, Paulson!), own two vehicles, mow my own lawn, get tired in the middle of the day, appreciate the regularity of my bowel movements, get hangovers, have a 401k, enjoy coffee after dinner, get together with friends to “play cards,” quit smoking dope, have to trim the hair in my nose, am sometimes too tired for sex, own supplemental life insurance, can do rudimentary garbage disposal repair, am not afraid of the dark, like vegetables… you know, all the typical signs and portents age.

But, even in the face of these undeniable hallmarks of advancing years, I still feel pretty much the same inside as I did back in, oh, high school.  Well, this too may be a bit of an exaggeration if you try to pin me down on the “feel” part, as I certainly have more digestion issues, hard beds hurt my hips, and I get inexplicably sore and stiff at times…

…but my spirit seems to be relatively unchanged.

So, when I look in the mirror in the morning, I still have a hard time seeing myself as anything much more than nineteen or twenty. Don’t get me wrong, I look incredibly different, but my brain intercepts the signal from my eyes and supplants it with an image my heart suggests instead.

Even through this silly beard I love so much I can see that slimmer face I used to splash CK One onto before heading off to class in the morning, can see my gelled-back highlighted hair and the two hoops and one stud all punched through my ears (it’s a wonder there was enough real estate for all that accessorizing).

It’s not that I idolize those years beyond anything else, or that I’m “stuck” in them, reliving them because I’ve miserably decided it was then that I peaked and I’ll never do any better.  No, quite the contrary.  In fact, I’m happier now than I’ve ever been in the history of me… it’s just that I think of those years as the time when I… found myself, or something.  But Lord, they are best as memories…

Over the course of a few years I decided who I was going to be and how I was going to handle life.  A strategy developed, I think, as it does for most, as a reaction to the ever increasing reality of life.  And I guess, at some kernel level, I’m still executing to the basic tenets of that original plan. A highly modified-by-experience version, albeit, but still grounded in that primordial stumble-upon.

So, it’s that, I think, that seems unchanged when I look into the mirror in the morning: The “me” that makes me me; the ageless person inside of me who was built, brick-by-brick, along the way.  Not the crumbling person on the outside of me who’s thinking he maybe needs a shave.  Maybe that’s it.

Whoa, rambling here.  This whole thing was supposed to be about hands…

Salvage time.

Whatever the reason, I’m actually really happy I feel this way inside – delusional or not. But, you know what? There’s one thing that I’ve found that, for whatever reason, can bring the weight of the years crashing home to me: It may sound strange, and it’s surely some personal idiosyncrasy – but when I look at my hands, the palms of my hands in particular, I can see the age; I really can.

I don’t know what it is about my hand that makes this so.

Sometimes I think it’s the size, or the proliferation of lines and creases. Occasionally, I’ll all of the sudden “notice” them and just stare at them like I’m suspicious they’re even a part of me, as if they shouldn’t even be corporal.

I mean, these things look like a grown man’s hands.   Big enough to hold a pipe-wrench or even palm a basketball (were I ever to touch a basketball). And while not quite as soft and supple as a woman’s might be, they definitely betray me as someone who’s not spent time roping cattle or pitching hay. Even still, to look down into them is, for me, to see just how much I’ve grown in the short time I’ve been around.

So there you go.  A study of my realization of age through the palms of my hands.

And that’s all I got tonight.  Goodnight, and have a great weekend, geezers.

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hide and seek

Happy Friday-minus-one my fellow internet lurkers.  I talk music and politics today, although I think I weave the taboo topics in smartly enough that you’ll enjoy the narrative wrapped around them.  So, give it a try, wouldja?  Thanks.

I’m happy to share that I seem to be on the mend from my brief battle with a hit-and-run stomach sickness earlier this week.  And, even if it did force the cancellation of a long-planned trip to Oregon for some important (no, seriously, I missed something important) work-business and some even more-important family-business, I’m glad to share that I am once again comfortable enough to willfully pass gas without first heading to the bathroom.

Being at home today, and feeling much better than yesterday (and worlds better than Monday), I had some idle time on my hands.  I decided to try something I’ve been considering for a long time: Importing all my music into iTunes so that I can actually sync my Apple devices (iPod and iPhone) as they are designed.  So, I undertook that Herculean effort.  And, I’ll stop talking about it here now because I’ve broken off the detailed tech-heavy explanation into it’s very own blog entry you can read below (unless you’re an uber-nerd though, I don’t really recommend it).

Guys, guys, guys.  There are only a few unsolved musical mysteries left for me to ponder.  And, tonight, I totally solved one of the longest-running ones.  While I was sitting here typing, my iPod happened to shuffle up a live performance by Van Morrison (hey, it’s a 1-in-42,000 shot, them’s some odds!).  Now, this isn’t just any live performance, this is an incredible, amazing, vibrantly “alive” live vetting of Van’s “Summertime In England.  And, it’s a recording that I’ve been obsessed with for years.  Let’s tell the story, shall we?

Back in middle and high school, my best buddy Kyle was my musical sage, muse, encyclopedia, and conduit.  For a time, I got everything through Kyle, who himself got it all from his father by way of dubbed cassette tapes in the mail.  In a previous longwinded entry, I wrote about my “Kyle connection” thusly:

When I met Kyle after we moved to Florida, things exploded. With the influence his dad had on his extremely-mature-for-his-age and varied musical tastes, and the mainline connection to his dad’s collection in Texas (via dubbed cassettes again, but of course), my horde of lovingly hand-labeled 90min Maxells flourished.

Ahh… still as delicate a prose as the day I penned it, and just as accurate too.

Anyway, one of those recordings scored via a dubbed cassette from Kyle’s dad was a live version of a Van Morrison song before then unknown to me.  All I knew was that when I put on that tape and listened to that eleven minute orgy of musical and lyrical genius, I was transported.  Smiles creased my face unbidden, and the tune seemed to mate perfectly with the Fall weather of the season in which I first heard it. I was smitten from the moment I heard it, not even knowing the name of the tune.

I can remember vividly driving to Sharaun’s house early one Saturday morning in my little Red Nissan (perhaps it was still my parents’ litte Red Nissan at the time, actually).  I had the windows down and the cool Florida air (a welcome rarity for the few months we get it) streamed in as I listened to the tape.  The saxophones swelled as I crossed US-1 towards the river.  I remember we were headed to a pancake breakfast at McDonalds, I think to raise money for her soccer, or volleyball, or maybe it was softball team (Sharaun is the jock in our family).

The point being, that song was indelibly inked into my mind in that moment.

Somewhere along the road, as things transitioned from tape to CD, I put that well-worn cassette away.  And, eventually, somewhere in my college-years moves from apartment to apartment, I lost it altogether.  I never forgot that song though…

Several years later, after marrying Sharaun and moving to California, I decided I wanted to hear that song again.  Over the years, I’d done a fair job collecting a bunch of bootlegs – and I’d always been keen to pick up a new illicit Van Morrison recording in hopes my fabled song would be included.  Although I never did find the song, I had long before been able to identify the name of the track as “Summertime in England.”  Unfortunately, the song is a staple of many live Van performances – and trying to find a particular version based on vague memories of between-band banter just wasn’t that easy.

Believe me, I tried.  I e-mailed die-heard Van collectors every detail of the show I could recall.  I mentioned that he thanked the members of the band by name, and that he did this echoed lyrical interplay with another vocalist during the performance, where one guy copied the other guy almost at the same instant he sung his line.  They did the same thing with the guitar, I noted.  Not a bad level of detail from a then musty memory, but I had zero luck in locating the actual performance I was after.  Don’t get me wrong, I did manage to acquire ten or so other fantastic live versions of the song which kind collectors guessed might be the one I was after… but no paydirt despite my hunt.

Then, finally, out of frustration, I decided to cut to the chase.  Sometime in 2004 or so I decided to e-mail Kyle’s dad directly and just ask him about the performance.  I wondered, in my e-mail, if he recalled where in the world he got the tape… or did he even know what performance I was referring to?  I figured going to the source was my best option.  Turns out Kyle’s dad knew instantly exactly which song I was referring to (of course he would, he’s the same as me in that way).  However, he said he “thought” he recalled dubbing his cassette off an old VHS he’d recorded from a television broadcast, but could remember nothing more than that.

He did, however, still have that dub and promptly offered to send me a CD-R copy.  I supplied my address, the CD came, I thanked him profusely and dutifully ripped the now legendary-to-me performance onto my iPod… which brings us back full-circle to it being shuffled up tonight.

As my face beamed listening to the song again, I began wondering about typing some exact phrases from the band banter into Google… just fishing.  Turns out I got a single hit on the phrase “Mr. Morrison” “Mr. Hospitality.”  It led me to a message board where it mentioned a “Beacon ’89” show.  A few Google searches later and I’d landed on a YouTube clip of Van Morrison and his band playing “Summertime In England” live at the Beacon Thearer in New York City in November 1989 (too bad it’s clipped at the beginning).  And, wouldn’t you know it… it was the song.  That’s right, the version I’d been looking for forever (and, I suppose, had actually “found” a few years back – although still not fully knowing all the background).

And, with a little more digging I’d turned up the fact that a two-disc soundboard quality bootleg of the show exists under the title Inspired Evenings.  Minutes after that, that very bootleg was streaming it’s way, via a series of bits and bytes, onto my hard drive – from the very nether regions of the internet.  And now it’s done, one great mystery solved.  Next – the unidentifiable mixtape of 1992… I swear I’m gonna crack that case one day… I just know it.

OK, end music stuff.

Before I go, I wanted to remind everyone (even if you voted in a recent primary) to go ahead and double-check your registered voter status.  With deadlines looming in nearly every state, it’s in your best interest to confirm your registered status so you have no surprises at your polling place come November.  And yes, I mean this regardless of whom you intend to vote for 🙂

To check your status in your state, use the this handy website (quite a few states have quick and painless online status checking).  Happy democracying!

G’nite.

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using iTunes without losing control of your music/files

Are you like me in that you see some advantages to using iTunes for managing your music collection and synchronizing it with your various Apple devices, but are completely underwhelmed by its basic functionality?  If so, this entry may be able to help you.  If not, then… well… not.

I have a huge collection of music on disk (~300GB) that I maintain manually and am very anal about.  I like the way my files are organized, I like being able to reorganize and re-tag them whenever I want with my choice of 3rd party tools (Tag&Rename, The Godfather, Windows), and I have an extremely anal methodology for pre-processing and merging newly acquired files (files not acquired via iTunes)  to the “master” location.

However, despite my hands-on tendencies when it comes to controlling my digital music collection, there have been several times in the past when I’ve wished I had my entire library present in iTunes (all explain why a little better below).

For a while now I’ve wondered if there’s an “easy” way to have the best of both worlds.  To have my music “in” iTunes while not giving up my low-level control of the actual files.  To be able to work with my media through whatever means I desire and not have these things interfere with each other.

Turns out there was a solution, at least for me, although the “easy” part might be subjective (I’m willing to go to great lengths to manage my music the way I want to, you may be less so after reading this diatribe).  Through the following I’ll document my journey to playing nice with iTunes, and hopefully this might help some other anal music collector looking to do something similar.

Let’s start off by documenting my situation:

My intended goal:

Start using iTunes as the default “library manager” for all my music.

Why do I want to do this?:

There are several advantages, as I see it, to having iTunes manage my music.  All of these are based on the fact that I’m using Apple devices (iPod Classic & iPhone 3G) to actually listen to my music (the benefits of iTunes as a library manager kinda drop off if that’s not the case).  Some of the advantages:

  • When you manually manage music on your iPod sans iTunes, any metadata generated on the iPod is not tracked back into your master on-disk library.  If I have my library in iTunes, however,  using the “sync” option means metadata generated from listening habits on the device is now “backed up” into my iTunes library file and I won’t lose it should I upgrade to a new device (more on that below).
  • I also like that by taking advantage of the “sync” feature, I can “backup” things like smart playlists, which I currently have only on my iPod (since they make no sense in an iTunes that has no library, as mine now stands).
  • Again, using the sync feature means that any metadata changes I make to my files on disk are automatically carried over to the files on my iPod.  When you manually manage adding music to your iPod/iPhone, you lose this “connection” to your master on-disk library.
  • If I buy a new iPod, I can simply plug it in and re-synchronize my entire library with a click (including that oh-so-important-to-me track-level metadata I mentioned above).  When you’re manually managing music on the device, this is not an option.  So, if your iPod dies or gets lost, you have to rebuild the collection on it by dragging and dropping everything back.  Painful.  This is probably the single most important thing to me, as I’ve gone through it before.

Success criteria:

  1. I don’t want the physical structure of my files on disk to be modified in any way.  I don’t want anything renamed, reorganized, re-anything.  I want my file structure on disk to remain completely unchanged through this big iTunes import.
  2. I want to retain “manual” control of my files on disk.  This means having  the ability to rename, reorganize, re-tag, move, delete, etc. these files using applications/methods other than iTunes.  I want to be able to do this without messing up my iTunes library (creating “orphan” entries, out-of-sync pointers, etc.).
  3. In addition to the manual control I’d like to maintain in #2 above, I’d also like to be able to use iTunes to manage files if and when I feel like it.
  4. If, per #2 above, I’ve manually deleted, moved, or changes files using a 3rd party application or Windows (in other words, not using iTunes) I need iTunes to be “smart” enough to sync up with what’s now on-disk.  In other words, I want my iTunes library to always mirror my manually-controlled library on-disk.
  5. Since I don’t get my music from the iTunes store, I also need iTunes to be “smart” about watching my master folder on disk for newly-added files.  When it finds something new, I expect it to be added to the library.   Again, in other words, I want my iTunes library to always mirror my manually-controlled library on-disk.

I know, it may seem picky.  But that’s what I want.

Resolution:

So, was I able to meet all these criteria above and successfully “merge” my music-management process with an iTunes-managed library?  I sure was.  For those interested, I’ll walk through the criteria and let you know how I achieved each one to my own satisfaction:

  1. iTunes actually plays pretty nicely here, allowing you to uncheck the “Keep iTunes music folder organized” and “Copy files to iTunes music folder when adding to library” options under Preferences|Advanced (see image below).
    For me, I needed to uncheck both of these (the former to satisfy my criteria #1, the latter to satisfy my criteria #2).  Criteria met.
  2. Unfortunately, when you use iTunes to manage your music – iTunes assumes it’s the lone player in this game.  You can go modify files on-disk to your heart’s content, but none of these changes will be reflected in iTunes unless you re-add the modified files to your library.  This is the main problem I have with iTunes, it refuses to acknowledge you might do things to your music outside of iTunes… I did, however, manage to meet this criteria, for the how – see “the panacea” statement below.
  3. This one is easy if I can meet 2, 4, and 5.  All I need is for iTunes and my manual processes not to step on each other.  This is more a requirement of my manual process than of iTunes.
  4. Again unfortunately, Apple expects that if you’re adding or deleting music, you’re doing it via iTunes.  It makes no accommodations for music file management via other means.  For how I solved this, see “the panacea” below.
  5. Again again unfortunately, Apple refuses to accept the fact that people might get their music from anywhere other than the iTunes store, and iTunes is incapable of monitoring folders in this way.  Fortunately, there are some 3rd party applications that can do this for you –  See “the panacea” below.

The panacea: How I met criteria 2-5:

So, how’d I do it?  Believe it or not, there are a couple free pieces of software out there on the great wide internet that can accomplish these things for you (and me).  iTunes Library Updater and iTunes Folder Watch.  Both of them do essentially the same thing, but I’ll tell you below why I chose the former of the two  as my solution.

First up, what do these applications do?  Simply, they allow me to force iTunes to monitor a folder or multiple folders on disk for changes, and synchronize my iTunes library to the folder(s) (without modifying the files themselves on disk).  While this is exactly what I want, there is one major difference between the way each operates.

While both applications keep track of newly added or removed files in your watched folder(s), only iTunes Library Updater includes the ability to monitor track-level metadata (ID3 tag) changes as a synchronization criteria.  For instance, if you’ve used a 3rd-party application (Tag&Rename, etc.) to change some tag data or add album artwork to your MP3s on disk, iTLU will notice this, and update the files for you in iTunes.  iTunes Folder Watch does not include this level of functionality.  So, if you change ID3 information outside of iTunes, you have to acutally play or “get info” on the updated files in your iTunes library to get a refreshed version of the tag information.

For this reason, I consider iTunes Library Updater the better solution, and will continue explaining my “panacea” in the context of using it rather than iTunes Folder Watch.

To make this whole thing work, you simply configure iTLU with the folders you want to be automatically monitored and mirrored into your iTunes library (along with several handy advanced criteria regarding the actual sync process) and hit “go.”  And, since iTLU comes with a command-line interface, the whole process can be scripted into a batch file that you can add to your Windows Scheduled Tasks (I won’t write detailed instructions for this, as someone’s already done a great job over here).  It’s in this way that I have my iTunes library automatically synchronized to my master on-disk library every night while I sleep.

Before you move along here, I would be remiss if I didn’t note the fact that the iTunes Library Updater application is no longer being actively developed.  In fact, it hasn’t been updated since something like iTunes version 6.  So, the fact that it continues to work with the current version of iTunes (versions 8.x as of writing) is pretty much gravy.  Bottom line, future changes to iTunes could completely break iTunes Library Updater at any time. This is a risk I am taking.

My thoughts are that if and when this day comes, I will simply have to switch to iTunes Folder Watch, wait for Apple to implement in iTunes, break down and code something myself, or give up on iTunes for good.

OK, but what’s the process?:

Wow, you actually read this far?  I’m shocked you’re still with me.  If you’re way down here, you probably have a good idea how I did my whole migration, but just to make it simple I’ll sum it up in some easy-to-follow steps for you:

  1. Download and install iTunes Library Updater.
  2. Configure iTLU to point to the music folders you desire it to mirror into your iTunes library, and check whichever options you want.
  3. Save your configuration as an iTLU “profile” to ease repeated future use.
  4. Hit “Start” in iTLU and crack a beer as the application imports everything into your iTunes library.
  5. Make a batch file that invokes iTLU using the profile you saved in step 3 above (using the console version’s /p switch), and add this batch file to your Windows Scheduled Tasks as often as you’d like (I do it every single night).
  6. Continue enjoying your Godlike control over your digital music files while simultaneously taking advantage of the benefits that having your collection in an iTunes library brings.

Conclusion:

And, as for getting your music into iTunes, that’s it.  If you’re satisfied then I think you can stop reading now.  But, because I tend to write a lot… I actually have a few more points to make that, if you’ve come this far, you may be interested in reading.

If you’re done with me here, I appreciate you hanging in there.  If you’ve got comments or suggestions (particularly if you’ve got some super-simple “better way” than what I’ve outlined here), please don’t hesitate to drop a comment below and let me know.  Hope it helped, take care.

Some further notes (for the really anal):

First, a big postscript to all you other “manually manage” people out there.  I know you, you’re just like me.  As you read this, there are exactly zero files in your iTunes library.  You drag-and-drop everything you need right onto your iPod and only use iTunes as the facilitator for that.  But, if you’re an advanced listener like me, you might also have some on-iPod smart playlists defined that do super-fancy stuff with the tunes you’ve manually added to your beloved device.   And, one disadvantage of the “convert to iTunes” method I’ve outlined above is that you won’t be able to import any metadata that’s been generated on your device (through your regular listening) into your new iTunes-based library.

You may be thinking it would be nice to “retrieve” this data before bringing your on-disk collection into iTunes, so that you can continue to build data around your listening habits and drive your smart playlists.  And, you’re right, it totally would be nice to do this.  I, however, made a big concession on this point when doing my huge “gonna start using iTunes” decision.

See, I too, have always said that if I were to make the conversion to managing my entire library via iTunes I’d like to be able to preserve all the metadata I’ve accumulated listening to my manually-added tunes on the iPod (meaning I’d like to be able to keep things like “play count,” “skip count,” “last played,” etc.).   And, you actually can do this.  Yes – you totally can.  See, you can use a piece of software called CopyTrans to first grab all the music off your iPod and into iTunes.  As it does this, it will copy over your precious metadata too (it works, I tried it).

The only issue with this is the extra overhead it adds to the above process…  See if you’re a “manual manager” like me, once you’ve extracted the files (and their associated metadata) off your iPod and into iTunes (which also means they physically went somewhere on disk), you’re going to have duplicate copies of those files in your master collection.  And, since the metadata you want does not “live” inside the MP3 tag data itself, but rather in the iTunes library XML file – you’ll now need to somehow get rid of those metatdata-less dupes in your mater collection (in favor of the metadata-associated versions now living on-disk from the CopyTrans import).

Your head hurt yet?

To try and simplify the explanation, you now want to keep the iPod-extracted files and remove the duplicate files from your master collection.  This is a pain, especially if you have a 160GB iPod Classic like me.  Oh, it’s doable… it really is, and you could keep and carry-over all your on-iPod generated metadata… but it’s just too much work.  So, in my case, I just decided that my big conversion to iTunes would be accompanied by a loss of all my on-iPod metadata.  That simple.  Kinda crappy, but better, in my opinion, than the time-consuming multi-step alternative outlined above.

All part of the paradigm shift, I figure.

Second, I can’t help but assume that, if you’re reading this article and your digital music collection means this much to you that you may also be facing another problem I’ve worked through.  Specifically, now that you’ve got your entire collection into iTunes, how the heck do you manage what actually goes on your iPod and what doesn’t?  It’s the classic “my iPod is too small for my music” problem.  I’ll try and address that in a future entry, because it’s just too long to work through were it tacked on here.

That’s it!  Thanks for reading, take care!

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change of plans

I should be in Oregon right now, gallivanting around under the pretense of “work” at the big manager summit at the mountain lodge resort.  But, I’m not.

‘Round about 3pm yesterday my stomach began knotting, and soon I was leaving my desk to head for the restroom.  And then again; and then again.  By the time I was home, lying prone in bed was the only effective way to stave off the nausea.  It worked, but only for a time.  The remainder of the night was awful.

Around midnight, my head in my hands in a then familiar posture as I sat on the throne, I mentally called off the trip.  After shuffling back to bed, I grabbed the iPhone from the windowsill and poked out an e-mail to my boss saying I was not going.  I called Southwest around 5am and canceled my flight, and later in the day called my Mom and broke the bad news that we’d not be there for the weekend.  She was bummed, but seemed to understand.

I feel a mite better now that the day has progressed.  Sharaun had volleyball tonight so I agreed to get out of bed for an hour and watch some Backyardigans with Keaton.  It’s OK, we’re watching “A Giant Problem,” which is my absolute favorite episode, because of the super-catchy 80s-themed soundtrack (well, right behind “Tale of the Mighty Knights,” which is a full-length prog-rock opera).  No, seriously folks, I’ve written about my appreciation for the music on this show before… I can seriously watch and enjoy them.

OK folks, I’m sleepy again.  Goodnight.

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it’s cool y’all

‘Round 9pm and Sharaun’s out (more on that later).  I’m listening to the iPod on shuffle, just switched from some late 50s free-jazz to Radiohead’s “Stop Whispering” to James Brown live at the Apollo.  I love shuffle.

Just another Friday here in America.  You know, no closure on our government’s taxpayer-backed $700B Wall Street bailout; the largest bank seizure ever with Washington Mutual being commandeered by the FDIC before it can crumble on it’s own, then later sold piecemeal to JP Morgan; even China won’t lend us money anymore…

It’s cool y’all.  Don’t worry.  Oh!  Did you see the new Real Rules Road World challenge!?  I totally almost choked on my Grilled Stuffed Chalupa when that one gay dude was making out with that inflatable sex doll in Vatican Square!  It was, like, so hilarious, I had to put down my People magazine and full-on got Fire Sauce all over the picture of Brad Pitt’s newest and blackest baby.

What a mess; what a mess.

We can get past this.  Let’s write…

At work, I usually run the MSN instant messaging client in the background on my laptop.  We have our own internal-only sawmill IM client, but I use the MSN one to talk to people outside of work.  Typically this is limited to Sharaun, and maybe on or two other friends who don’t happen to work at the same sawmill or live in the same state/country as me.  It’s useful for quick communication with Sharaun though, particularly if I’m tied up in a meeting – as I can type out a quick answer to things like, “Hey, can you pick up some milk on the way home?” and the like.

Sometimes though, IM just doesn’t cut it.  That delay between reading and writing can really gum up the gears of a conversation.  Take, for example, this exchange between Sharaun and I this morning.  She was at home, presumably eating bon-bons and doing her toenails, and I was at work, winning bread or some such.  Marvel:

sharaun says:
oh
tonight
you know color me mine
that pottery painting place by the bounce place

dave knows all your secrets says:
i don’t really know it, why?

sharaun says:
I wanted to go if that was ok with you

Straight-forward enough.  At this point, I think I understand what’s going.  There’s some paint-your-own pottery place around here (apparently next to the bounce place we sometimes take Keaton) and she wants to go.  I’m not sure, however if she’s asking if I want to go with her, or if she’s asking if she can go with a friend (meaning she’s actually asking me if I’m OK with Keaton for the evening).   So, I proceed to inquire down this path:

dave knows all your secrets says:
are you asking me to go?

sharaun says:
yes
that’s what “I wanted to go if that was ok with you” means

OK, makes sense now.  She’s asking if we all want to go, as a family, to the paint-your-own pottery place over by the bouncy place we sometimes take Keaton.  Glad I asked.  At this point, I’m already typing up the explanation of why I misunderstood her the first time.  See, I want to explain that I was just unsure if she was asking me to go, or asking if she could go with a friend.  But, right before I hit send on that message, she replies again:

sharaun says:
anyway, there is a MOPS moms night out there tonight at 6:30

And, seconds later, I hit “enter” on the sentence I’d been typing”

dave knows all your secrets says:
i thought you might be asking if it’s OK if you go w/liz and spend money or something.  when?
you want to go tonight?

On her end, confusion blooms:

sharaun says:
I said 6:30
MOPS
not Liz
are you reading what I type at all?

Man, I hate it when this happens.  Now we’re exactly one thought out of sync.  I try to type a little faster and make my seemingly misplaced explanation a little more clear:

dave knows all your secrets says:
when you asked me if it was OK, i didn’t know if you were asking me to go or asking if you could go w/someone else (assumed liz)

There, that’s totally clear, right?  I just misunderstood her.

sharaun says:
no. It’s tonight at 6:30. Do you mind?
I can have dinner ready beforehand

OK, now I’m getting confused.  It’s the phrase “Do you mind?” that out of place here to me.  I need some further clarification, and attempt to get it:

dave knows all your secrets says:
do you normally ask someone if they “mind” when you’re trying to invite them somewhere?  sounds like you’re wondering if i “mind” you going w/o me?
how long would we be there?

See, the whole “Do you mind” thing really makes it seem like she’s asking if I mind her going… it just seemed like an odd way to ask me to join my own family at the paint-your-own pottery place up by the bouncy place we sometimes take Keaton to.  I mean, she clearly told me above that she was asking me to go with her… right?  Her response:

sharaun says:
I am asking if you mind watching K
no

Oh, wait… what?  Now she is asking if I mind her going and leaving Keaton with me.  By now, I am royally confused, and have decided we are having two totally different conversations.  I let her know this as tactfully as I can:

dave knows all your secrets says:
good god you make no sense

There.  That should do it.

sharaun says:
MOM’S NIGHT OUT
what about that makes you think you are invited?

Ouch.

dave knows all your secrets says:
you never said that

Whoops, my first mistake.  I was spotless up until here.  I should’ve been reading a bit closer back there I suppose.

sharaun says:
sharaun  says:
anyway, there is a MOPS moms night out there tonight at 6:30

Oh, I see.  She copied her own sentence from a few lines above.

dave knows all your secrets says:
lol

sharaun says:
really
I never said that?

OK.  Whatever.  This conversations is almost over.

dave knows all your secrets says:
i’m going to punch off your face

sharaun says:
not if yours is already laying on the ground and you can’t see me

dave knows all your secrets says:
no sure, that’s fine.
i don’t mind.
i like watching her

sharaun says:
ok

dave knows all your secrets says:
plus i get to listen to music when you’re gone.

sharaun says:
I’ll make you a pretty piece of pottery

dave knows all your secrets says:
OK, make a bong so i can smoke tons of weed…
and then maybe you’ll make sense

sharaun says:
hahah

dave knows all your secrets says:
love you.  sorry i don’t read right.

A flawed technology, I tell you… flawed.

Well, Sharaun’s car decided to crap out on the side of the road today.  I went to rescue her (and Keaton) and the thing was towed off to the local shop.  No word yet on the damages, but I suspect some kind of transmission problem (because, as you know, I’m an expert in all things car).  So, we’re doing the one vehicle thing with her taking me to work (which also means she has to take me by the donut place beforehand tomorrow – can’t come empty handed on my turn for the rotating managers-bring-donuts Friday). It’s cool, two cars is overrated.

Hey, Bill put up some pictures from our “extended lunch” the other day when we drove downtown to meet Sharaun and Susie at the circus.  Since I haven’t posted pictures of Keaton in ages, you should go check out what she looks like with her new retro bob and black dye-job.  Man… I think Bill’s camera needs an adjustment, I look globular.

Goodnight friends, have a good weekend and I’ll holla at you Monday.

Posted on

america’s smarter than a dancer

Wednesday night.  Still have to take the trash out; will probably wait until like midnight-thirty like I always do.

Almost through one wall-to-wall listen of the new Of Montreal record (again).  I’ve gone from a curious interest to pure infatuation with this record; and, through repeat listenings, have gained enough appreciation for it that I feel safe lauding it.  We see them live in the city the week before Thanksgiving, looking forward to a splashy glam fantastic show.

Sharaun’s watching that awful awful dancing show on TV.  No, I don’t know which one… they are all so horrible, and there seems to be so many of them.  Dancing With This, Dancing Around That, America’s Got Dancers, CSI Dancing… whatever.  I’ll just stay here hunched over my laptop, reading and writing and surfing the internet while I try not to listen…

Watched George address us this evening; he deserves some credit for offering a sound and concise explanation of the current situation – hopefully it works to raise the general awareness.  Also give him points for citing a desire for 1) low taxpayer risk, 2) no golden-parachutes for failed CEOs, and 3) bipartisan oversight and process transparency as critical aspects of a successful plan.  Overall, I thought it was a well-delivered and timely address to the nation.  Credit where credit is due.  I still have strong feelings over the whole thing, and don’t desire one bit to see my investments continue in their downward spiral, but I suppose us thirty-somethings are in it for the long-haul at this point.  It’s that, or win the lottery…

OK internet – as Keaton says to me, “I’ll see you in the morning when I wake up!”  Goodnight.