Month: January 2005

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chalk or dirt trails?

Disturbing.
This weekend was a pair of gorgeous days… the brightest, sunniest, clearest days we’ve had lately. I don’t know what it is about gorgeous sunny days… they just make me want to do things, to get outside… and enjoy them. I think I did pretty well this weekend, taking time to enjoy two of the best rainless days we’ve had in a long while. As such, this entry goes down more or less as a play-by-play of the weekend’s events.

It started Friday night with the post-work round of beers and appetizers at the steakhouse/bar. That complacent mood just settled over me like a fog, making me feel just right just then. I didn’t care where we went afterward, or how long we stayed… it was one of the times you’re just with friends and drafting off the joy of company, small talk, and a the swirly happiness that an alcohol-infused bloodstream can provide. Luckily, I managed to maintain the feeling overnight… and early Saturday morning found us over at Kristi and Erik’s for a fine homemade breakfast of waffles and eggs. I ate and relaxed with that right-where-I-wanna-be feeling. Sitting on the couch watching a poorly-produced VHS video of Mexican bullriding… these people are dying… I’m mean, ceasing to live… it’s insane. It was a good morning.

In the afternoon Erik and I decided to go out for a ride, both being owners of new bikes. This city is completely crisscrossed with well-maintained, paved bike trails. They cut through neighborhoods, skirt duck-ponds and city parks, and where there aren’t defined trails – there are always marked bike lanes to the sides of every road. We had no destination, just wanted to get out in the sun and make a sweat offering to the weather gods. We ended up finding some empty lots with plenty of hills and ditches and rocks, and for a good 20min I was twelve again. Huffing my way to the tops of dirt hills, zooming back down to search for anything I could launch off of with my new gravity-given speed, fishtailing and riding wheelies… it was great. Once we got back to the trails, we “discovered” some parts of the city we’d never seen before, and, more importantly, some more trails we didn’t know about.

Riding on the trails made me think of something Pat had said earlier in the week, something about thinking there might be a trail-only shortcut that could ease my rides to work and back. Sure enough, the exploration Erik and I did led to the discovery of a completely new route than the surface-road route I’d been using last week. The alternate route is comprised of probably 20% road and 80% trail. Paved trails, mind you, but trails that wind their way to work in a much more direct route – and without any car exhaust or traffic lights or stop signs to compete with. I actually can’t wait to try it tomorrow, and see if it really does buy me time or not. Since I can’t drive the new route, I’ll need to borrow a GPS to compare the mileages… but even it does turn out to be longer (which I don’t think it will), I plan to take it anyway. It’s so much better, I’m so happy we “found” it.

Sunday, I woke up early and cleaned the bathroom and shower, finally replaced the burned-out bulbs in our closet, and made my first real yard-demanded trip to Home Depot. Picked up some crabgrass killin’ fertilizer and pranced around my yard pushing the SpeedyGreen 3000 in front of me like a proud father and his chemical-spreading baby carriage. To make sure the fertilizer gets in there good, I run the sprinklers for a few seconds in each zone. I don’t know why I’m going into this much detail… all I wanted to say was that, as I was standing in the driveway, watching the sprinklers in the sun and waving to neighbors – I was happy… I was content. I mean, it’s hard not to be… brisk mid-50s, cloudless sunny skies, and the feeling that I was witnessing what was the beginnings of a new summer.

I noticed today that several blogs are talking about Halliburton leaving Iran. I’m not usually one for conspiracy theories, but with recent “posturing,” it does seem that there could be a tad more to it than a simple contract expiration. They’re already charter members of the AoE, and the media coverage lately has had a snowballish be-afraid tint to it. With the headlines from the Iraq voting over the weekend being so rosy, it would seem that all my doubt and cynicism was for naught. I would, however, be interested in hearing the ballot tally… as in how many people voted. Not absentee, citizens in-country. Not that a low number would really prove much, I just think it’d be interesting as a percentage of the population. (Wow, ask and ye shall receive… 60% is awesome.)

Does anyone even notice that I alternate my little post image from left to right with each entry? That’s a manual process you know!

Goodnight.

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anywhere but here

Sleep is comfy.
Late post. I had big plans last night for a nice meaty entry today – then lost all steam once the television came on. That thing is a brain-drain man, taking ideas right out of you. I have much better luck writing while sitting in front of the window and listening to tunes. Anyway, didn’t post earlier this morning because I was giving a training to some of my Taiwanese buddies… went well, I find I feel much more confident up in front of people I’m familiar with. So, it’s gonna be thin again.. but I actually dig this one more than most of the entries I’ve been responsible for lately. Read on.

You ever get that feeling? The one where, no matter where you are, you think that at that second you’d rather be nowhere else than warm in bed with the person you love? I get that feeling sometimes… I got that feeling today at work. Sitting in a conference room, thinking about nothing. All of the sudden I wished it was 6:30am on anyday and I was wrapped in blankets and smelling my wife’s hair while the alarm snoozed. Usually right after those moments, I wonder where she is… what she’s doing, is she alright? Since I couldn’t call, I text’d her: “Hey, thinking about u. In a stupid meeting. Miss and love u.” There, that should do it… that should help. Ahhh… 1 New Message: “Love u too. Call after your meeting.” There; all better for the time being. It’s not warm blankets and soft skin and sleep-breathing, but it’s the best I’m gonna get until 6:30am tomorrow – so I’ll take it.

I dunno what was up with my writing this week. I can blame it on the usual suspects: being too busy at work, laziness, whatever. But in some ways, a slow week on some internet page where I write means a very not-slow week in the real life I live… where I don’t have to or don’t choose to write about things because I have something better to do. Besides, I honestly think I drained myself writing last Friday’s entry. I invested so much time in it, so much thought. It really wore me out, which I find kinda awesome. I mean, that you can write something so “hard” that you’re actually strained afterward. If only I could write that hard all the time. Y’know, that might be a good blogger motto: “blog hard.” Actually, that would be awesome in all-lowercase black arial font on a white t-shirt. I could make some money maybe. Except… isn’t there some shoe company or sports-liquid drink whose motto is “play hard?” Bummer.

Today was productive, with a visit to the dentist and a much-needed haircut. It turned out to be sunny, where I’d heard earlier in the week it was supposed to rain. Since I had rain in mind, I didn’t set the alarm early enough to bike in… which I was kinda bummed about once I saw the blueish sky through the shower window. If you’ve been reading this rag for a while, you know I get off on “accomplishing” a lot in a constrained time. I love days where I manage to bounce from one thing to the next, getting all kinds of productive junk done in what feels like record time. So when I can have a good day at work, make a teeth-cleaning, grab a haircut, and still have time to grab a beer with a buddy from work… it’s a good day in my eyes.

Oh, and I was far and away more amused than anything. Until Monday, have a good weekend.

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when moths attack

Chugga-chugga woo-woo.
The other day, Ben mentioned that he’d downloaded the new version of Winamp, and that it had several “Internet TV” stations available… streaming all sorts of video content. He also told me that there appeared to be a plethora of porn stations being freely streamed. The video thing in general sounded cool, so I decided to check it out. Sure enough, there was a lot of porn. Now, I’m no porn-addict, but curious to see what freely streamed porn looked like, I browsed through a couple “channels.” Only then did I realize that I was using Winamp to “investigate” this porn, and remember that I’d installed a plugin for this page that displays what I’m listening to in Winamp. I wondered… open IE, browse to the blog, oh crap. Right there in the “currently hearing” section of the sidebar is an impressive list of porn-sounding names, the stream names even identify them as videos – so there was no mistaking that I was indeed checking out porn rather than simply listening to songs with porn-sounding names. Ugh. Thanks a lot Ben.

I guess the idiot award today goes to this guy here in CA who, in an attempt to take his own life, stopped his truck on the commuter train tracks. Then, in a last-minute moment of revelation, decided he wanted to live – and up and left his truck on the track. Train smacks truck, crashes up hard, and nearly a dozen people die. Now the I-wanna-die-wait-no-I-don’t dude faces the death penalty, which is hilarious to me… since it’s what the fool wanted in the first place. Next time, consider a less killin’-ohter-people way of taking your life, especially if you think you might reconsider at the last second. On the reals though, poor dude must be pretty mentally messed up by now… as if he wasn’t already.

Most of the people I work with in Taiwan are here this week for some on-site training. Yesterday I walked over to the conference room they were all in to say “Hi.” As soon as I crossed the threshold, I was brutally assaulted by the smell of naphthalene. Y’know, mothballs? What is it with Chinese people and mothballs? I love my Asian brothers, and have had some great times hanging out and working with them – but, much to the disappointment of my nose, they love them some mothballs. I’m sure, to them, Americans all reek of Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese or SUV or something. From the olfactory potency, they must’ve packed ’em in their suitcases or something.

Then I guess that’s it… I have nothing more. A week of tiny entries I guess. Nite.

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disrobe for peace

Bazooka time.
There’s something so awesome about stripping off the days clothes and trading them in for something looser and shoeless. Sometimes it’s the only thing I wanna do when I get home… pull off the shoes and socks, yank the outer shirt over the head, and swap the boxer-twisting jeans for some non-binding shorts. Perfect not-goin’-out wear for… not going out.

CNN ran an awesome story as their lead item late today (yeah, I’m back to trying to write at night). It was on the upcoming Iraqi election, and my favorite quote was, “Although most say they don’t know who the candidates are or where to go to vote, they say they will vote come January 30…” Yeah? They don’t know where to vote, but they will vote? Assuming they can wander the vast deserts of Iraq long enough to find the hidden, unpublicized, polling places… they don’t even know who they’re voting for… why vote? I know why… because they believe in the salvation that is democracy, that’s why.

One of the stats I like to keep track of how “saturated” the search engines are with regards to my blog; meaning, out of the total number of pages that make up my blog, how many have been spidered and indexed by search engines. Last night, Google must have done a huge update… and my saturation jumped from a previously semi-stagnant ~25% to a respectable 65%. It’s amazing what that jump translates to in terms of referrer stats. Google is now sending three people my way for every one it did before. It could be good for readership, but it’s also an even more fragrant flower to the spam bees. Stupid spam bees.

I sat here for 15min trying to come up with more to write, but I guess sometimes just going with what you have is the best strategy. With that in mind, I’ma press “Publish” and post these couple measly paragraphs. Goodnight.

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over the hills

Stinky.
Hey hey, my first day biking to work and back… no problems at all. I mean, other than being winded and coming home with legs made of jelly… oh, and the sweat, the commute went swimmingly. The ride in in the morning is somewhat hampered by thick fog… which at speeds forms a nice damp mist over my arms and legs. It’s not wet enough that the tires kick up road-muck onto my back, so I’m OK with it. My urticaria seems to be well-controlled, at least with respect to bring brought about by cooler ambient-temperatures; I think the multi-antihistamine cocktail the doc’s got me on is just the panacea I needed, even if it’s not protection from cold-water swimming, at least I’m not itching something furious when the temperature is sub-50°. If my legs aren’t too sore, tomorrow will be day #2. Wish me luck.

I saw this link on fazed the other day, and absolutely loved it. One day I’m gonna have a full-on “study,” filled with leather-bound books, comfortable chairs, and – the piece de resistance – a pipestand (y’know, the old-type floor ashtrays?). Anyway, I downloaded several illuminated manuscripts and paintings to use as wallpapers… and some freeware wallpaper flipper to change ’em every so often. What a nerd. I have some fascination with Renaissance art and thought, and the more I read about humanity’s obsession with doubt and reason during that time, the more interesting it gets. Guess I shoulda paid more attention in World History or something.

I hate when I pull a shirt or sweater out of the closet in the morning, only to pull it over my head and realize it reeks of the restaurant I ate at several days passed. Mexican food is the worst offender, but Indian food runs a close race. Sometimes, even after being allowed to “air out” in the closet for over several days, jeans or shirts retain a surprisingly potent food-funk. Occasionally it’s so bad I have to toss ’em in the hamper and move onto choice B. It’s almost as stinkified as the dreaded I-cut-onions-a-friggin’-week-ago-and-my-hand-still-stinks phenomenon.

That’s really all I have… I know it’s slim. I was tired last night, and wasn’t in the writing mindset – and work kept me too focused all day to dream up good material.

See ya.

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i’m a consumer

Right-o, chap.
I dunno if you noticed, but the entry is “late.” Usually I automate these things to post at midnight the day I want them up, which means I have them written beforehand. Not this time. I got home last night and decided I didn’t even feel like sitting in front of the PC. I debated even writing… but I have some kinda built-in thing now that makes me.

Saturday I did it. I bought a bike. Remember, I wanted to… to see if I could make it my >50% time method of transportation to work? It’s Sunday now, so I can’t really report on how that worked out yet. Although I do plan to bike the commute tomorrow, despite the cold and damp mornings we’ve been having. Later today I’m going to do a time trial, to get an idea of when I need to leave. In the end, I settled for a cheaper bike… since I’m no cycling enthusiast or anything. I guess anything with two wheels would’ve served me well… but I couldn’t stand the thought of cruising to work on a Sam Walton special. So I settled for something the hovers slightly above the department store generics and below the bike store name brands. Either way, it rolls when peddled… so I think I’m OK. If you never hear me talk about it here again, the shame of buying it and not using it as I’d hoped has become too great – and I’d advise not bringing it up.

It’s Monday now as I write… I got to work early to finish today’s entry. And, because I took off early from the house to give myself plenty of time on the ride in. Yup, I totally did it. Biked the commute for the first time, beat yesterday’s time-trial by 5min this morning. Riding through the cold fog-mist was kinda nice. I put the new Early Day Miners record on the flash player and peddled away. It felt good… I maintained a good pace, didn’t get too tired. I’m so self-conscious when it comes to exercise; I know it’s stupid. Everyone knows me as the guy who “doesn’t care.” So when I do things that are contrary to that, it’s a fair assumption that I’ll give them up shortly or that it’s a fad. I mean, the precedent is definitely there. So I ride to work and hope I don’t pull up next to a car with someone I know in it, for fear of feeling “dumb.” Oh, no doubt it’s psychosomatic… but it’s a real thing nonetheless. I’m just glad I’m doing it. If I can stick to it, there’s a potential 8.2mi per day… ~1hr more exercise than the zero I was getting previously.

I left the 5th grade 10 days before the last day of school, because my family was up and moving to Florida. Our classroom had a party that day which served the double-purpose of a “graduation from 5th grade” party and a sendoff for me. When we got to Florida, dad’s work put us up in a condo until we could find a house. A condo that was right on the beach. I remember that summer like one long vacation. Frank and I would roll out of bed and onto the beach. Move from the beach to the pool, pool to running around the complex ringing doorbells. It was great. I remember listening to “Parents Just Don’t Understand,” “Don’t Worry, Be Happy,” and “Nightmare on My Street.” I guess there was a period where I was listening to some top40… but I did have Speak and Spell in the cassette deck.

The other night Sharaun was watching this reality show where these fat people are competing to lose the most weight (yes, I know the name of the show, but chose not to use it as if I didn’t to demonstrate my disdain for such programs). Anyway, they had a competition where there was a insanely huge mountain of food on stage. All kinds of food, cheese, pastries, breads, anything you could think of and all stacked to the stagelights. The group was split into teams, and the goal was to move as much food from the huge pile over to a little podium – the catch being that they had to use only their mouths to transport and stack the grub. Imagine the scene – ten overweight people grabbing hunks of food in their mouths, shuffling across stage, and pressing it drool-covered onto a growing mound of similarly disgusting stuff. Food was dropped in transit, stepped on, mashed, squished, and gummed and toothed – but not consumed.

I watched it, and transformed from the mindless, wasteful American consumer I am – to that ever-popular American alter-ego of the caring (but just a tad less than being moved to act), world-conscious good Samaritan. How appalling would this video be if we took it on a tour of Somalia or something? It really was disgusting, it made Double Dare’s milk-battles pale in comparison. America’s food supply is so abundant that we have to find alternate uses for our stores – like playing games or building things with it. I remember a Sharaun telling me about an exchange student who was helping the homecoming committee clean up after the dance, and who broke down in tears as she watched the pounds and pounds of uneaten food go right into the trash. We truly are the land of plenty.

Random, but done.

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sucking out the spirit

Do the numbers lie?
Right now, I’m wrecked tired. Last night I stupidly stayed up until 2am… and the fatigue really hit me around 4pm today. Before I do this, I wanted to tell you guys that I really hesitated about posting another rant on religion. I wanted to write something funny again… like some of the old entries I’m so proud of. I’ve always said though, that whatever ends up getting written is whatever was meant to be written. Forced stuff just doesn’t work… funny just happens. So with that, here’s some super-unfunny crap for ya.

Current estimates* put the world’s population at 6,396,000,000, which, after some zero counting, I decided is near 6.4 billion. When I said yesterday that I find statistics interesting, it got me thinking. Some of the most interesting, and telling, statistics are those about world religion. For instance, out of those 6.4 billion people I mentioned above, an estimated 5.3 to 5.8 billion purport to believe in “… God or a similarly understood higher power(s). “* That’s somewhere between 80%-90% of ALL people, an overwhelming majority that’s hovering close to unanimity; simply amazing. Doing a little statistical analysis with these numbers can yield some interesting thoughts.

I need to make two assumptions before I get into the numbers:

  1. I’m assuming that the probability that any person will be born in a certain geographical area is directly proportional to the population of that area. I.e., The more people on a continent, the more babies of the world born on that continent. For this exercise I’m going to equate a baby’s percentage chance of being born in country X to country X’s percentage of world population.
  2. I’m assuming that if you’re born in a certain area, it’s reasonable to think your religious ideas will fit the statistical data for that area’s religious beliefs. I.e., if you’re born in Thailand, and the population of Thailand is statistically 95% Buddhist, I’m assuming there’s a 95% chance you’ll end up Buddhist.

I realize this 2nd assumption could be argued on the point that people don’t always stay where they’re born, as well as many other points. But as a generality – I think it’s a relatively safe assumption to say that most people stay in the country they are born in, and will align with the statistical trends.

Before we go any further – I also realize that statistics can change over time, and you can’t eliminate the possibility of dramatic change. Whereas Thailand is 95% Buddhist today, who’s to say there couldn’t be a wildly successful Hare Krishna campaign in Thailand, converting 50% of the people in a year’s time? While I readily acknowledge it’s a possibility, and would wreck all this thinking… the fact is that the breakdown of world religion by area has remained largely unchanged for decades. Another factor that I’ve not taken into account is the “growth rates” for different countries. If some countries are humpin’ and reproducin’ at a faster pace than others, it stands to reason that they may have an edge on less rabitty nations. That stuff is all too complicated though, so let’s forget it OK? Good.

With the two above assumptions, we can make some interesting inferences. I’m going to approach this through Christianity, because where I live it’s by far the theology of choice”*, and is easiest for me to hold up to the statistics. Now to the meat.

Christianity is grounded in the fact that you must believe in the God of the Bible to have “salvation” (ignoring a multitude of doctrinal differences over how salvation is truly attained). Earning salvation is the goal of Christianity; to be saved, to ultimately live forever in Heaven once you’ve died on Earth. If you don’t believe in God, you’re not just not going to Heaven for a life of eternal joy, you’re instead going to Hell… which is a “lake of fire” where there is only eternal pain and suffering. This black and white property of Christianity works well when applied to world religion statistics, because you can immediately see approximately how much of the world is going to spend an eternity in the anguish of Hell’s furnace after they die (or, conversely, how many will walk streets paved with gold and have palaces of their own – but the Hell stat is more “in yo face”).

So let’s do it then. Current estimates show that out of the world’s 6.4 billion souls, an estimated 2 billion fit a generalized definition of “Christian.”* Looking at those numbers and drawing the most basic of conclusions, it’s clear that a full 2/3 of humanity, 2/3 of God’s own creation, is damned.

Not only are only 1/3 going to Heaven, but if we go back to assumption #2 – you’ve got the odds of where you’ll be born to factor in as well. Out of the 193 countries in the world*, 120 of them have a population where Christianity is the religion of the majority (>50% population)*. That means if everyone were as likely to be born in Zambia as they were India, you’d stand about a 60% chance if being born into a country where (by assumption #2) you’d more than likely end up Christian. Not entirely bad odds, but a little “coin-tossy” for me. However, by assumption #1, we know that you’re more likely to be born into a more populous country. With that in mind, consider that 37% of the world’s total population is concentrated in two, non-Christian majority, countries. To make it a little more concrete, using the “only Christians go to Heaven” mindset: If you do manage to be one of the lucky 63% of babies not born into either of the world’s predominantly non-Christian heaviest populated countries, you still have to “overcome” your birth-country’s belief-breakdown.

Yes, I realize you have to be careful about assuming that the statistical breakdown of a population’s beliefs will determine the tendancy for someone born in that country to ally with any certain belief. There is, of course, the element of human “choice” to deal with. And sure, anyone, anywhere, at any time can choose something different than they the statistics “say” they will. But with numbers like 99.5% of the people in Yemen being Muslim*, I think it’s a safe bet that the 1st kid born in Yemen in the next 30sec will end up being a faithful Muslim.

I also realize that Christians might scoff at all of this, because of course every person in the entire world has an equal shot at knowing God. It’s as simple as believe or don’t, and that’s 50/50 odds. I gets rather silly, because from a believer’s perspective – statistics have nothing to do with the determination of a person’s beliefs. Belief is a choice, and every choice is yes or no, 50% chance. I mean, from an evangelical Christian’s point of view – being born into a country in which 99.5% of the population is Muslim makes no difference on your ability to be Christian.

Whew… I’m tired.

All that said, I haven’t even mentioned the real figures I wanted to get at with this discussion. See, we’ve broken down odds based solely on Christian vs. non-Christian lines. Thing is, the term “Christian” I’m using encompasses a lot of different faiths, or denominations. There are several of these denominations who believe that they are the only ones doing it right, and therefore the only ones who will escape Hell. For instance, most denominations which sprang from the “Restoration Movement” of the 1800s firmly believe that they are the one and only church through which one can get to God*. There are estimated to be 5,400,000 members of these denominations worldwide*. If you hold to that thinking, the percentage of people in the world who are actually going to live forever with God plummets to .00084%. Think that’s bad? Well guess what, there are even subsets within the “Restoration Movement” umbrella who think that they are the only true church…

I don’t mean to pick on any particular denomination or “movement,” the principle is the same no matter where you start dissecting. When you break down Christianity into branches and denominations, adherents to a particular set of dogma number fewer and fewer. When certain denominations or branches believe they are the only “true” way to God – they are essentially telling an overwhelming majority of people they are damned. Oh sure, they’d tell you that “everyone has a shot,” but I suspect the effect of religious conversion on statistics this large is completely in the noise.

Ooouuch… my head hurts, and I’m not making any sense anymore. I’m sorry.

This thing turned into such a mess of math and statistics that for a while I just started writing down sentences as they came to me. Afterward, I combined them all into (what I hope is) a rational flow. At one point, I was reading through my stream-of-consciousness looking for what “point” I wanted to make next, and I found the sentence “You have a 37% chance of being born.” That cracked me up for some reason. Anyway, hope it ended up being an interesting enough read to justify the time I put into it.

Goodnight goodnight goodnight.