it’s going to be thin


It’s 11:30pm and I’m just sitting down to write. In fact, I only have about twelve more minutes to finish this thing. I’ll warn you now, it’s going to be thin.

Keaton’s third fevered day and the doc says she’s got an ear infection. She still acts like a million bucks, you’d only know she’s sick by the snots, coughs, and wheezes. Sharaun swung by the pharmacy after I got home from work to pick up her prescription, hopefully it’ll start her mending soon. I hate looking at her puffy eyes and red cheeks, it makes me sad even if it is contrasted with her spastic and joyous dancing around the room singing “Sunny day… sunny day… sunny day.” Seems that even sickness can’t suppress the Sesame Street within.

I used my 7am meeting, and my relatively light morning, as an excuse to phone it in pre-lunch. Sharaun was kind to me and tolerated no TV or music while I worked on the employee review documents I’ve been laboring over this week. And, compared to the cubicle-clustered environment at work, the sensory deprivation in the quiet of my living room allowed me to get a ton of solid work done. I still dread finalizing that annual review totem… does that mean I’m soft? I guess maybe it does, but I also think it makes me normal, and I’d rather be normal.

I’m sorry guys. This is it. I really just didn’t want to miss a day in what, is otherwise, shaping up to be a wall-to-wall month (New Year’s Day doesn’t count, by the way). Goodnight.

the very air i breathe is saturated


As Christmas vacation begins to draw to a close, the tightening noose of coming work is beginning to chafe against my neck.

The e-mails are still trickling into the BlackBerry, each little “tinkle” sound reminding me that I can never really get that far physically removed from a job that happens primarily in cyberspace. Unseen responsibility surrounds me, floating around invisible right in front of me, waves and signals buzzing silently around my head, needing only to be read and decoded to transform them into questions I need to answer and things I need to do. It’s sad, in a way, that the very air I breathe is saturated with invisible bits and bytes that represent the work I have to do. Let’s not think about it, OK?

We had a brief scare yesterday, ending up in the emergency room with Keaton. As I mentioned in my last blog, she’s been running a fever now for a couple days, and it’s been sitting around 101° for most of the time. After Sharaun put her down for her nap yesterday, she went out shopping. And, since Keaton wasn’t feeling well and likely needed sleep, I was happy that she chose to take a longer-than-usual nap, not to mention it gave me a little time to rest-off the pukes-‘n’-poops I’d been dealing with myself. When she finally did wake up, I got her some Tylenol-doped juice and sat down with her while she drank it. As she was finishing up her sippy, Sharaun got home and joined us on the couch.

Just then, she began to shiver, which I took to mean she was breaking her fever. As Sharaun took her from me, however, she began to shiver more, and we noticed her lips looked a little blueish. Freaking out a bit, Sharaun took her out to ask her mom if she could see the blue as well, and I jumped online to search for “baby blue lips fever” on Google. The modern sage that is Google said that if, during a fever, a baby’s lips and/or fingernail beds turn blue, you should seek emergency care immediately. Meanwhile, Sharaun and her mom had reached the same conclusion, as Keaton was still shaking, not speaking at all, and her lips (and finger/toenails) were now an even scarier shade of blue-purple. They were already strapping her into her carseat as I rushed inside to grab my wallet, sling a very hastily put together diaper bag over my shoulder, and slip on some flip-flops.

With the hospital literally just up the road, we were there in under a minute. But even by then, she had regained nearly all her color and was starting to talk normally. We sat in the emergency room for about twenty minutes, every passing minute of which I became more convinced that she was now fine, and then were ushered in to see the triage nurse. After taking her vitals, she pronounced Keaton A-OK, and asked if we’d still like to be seen. Faced with the prospect of spending four hours in the hospital, or going home and keeping an eye on her ourselves, we chose the latter and packed back into the car. And, although she continued to run a fever the rest of the day, we had no more blue-lipped scares, and she already seems much more “herself” today.

Frightening, and odd, but I guess ultimately nothing.

Well then, until later, take care peoples.

not cool eyebrows. not cool.


I should be packing right now. Had plans to be done early. Maybe sit around and write a little before going to bed early. But, the best laid… something… Things went askew when a friend dropped in and found some beers in the fridge (quite against the norm in my fridge, to be honest). He cajoled me into joining him for one, and we sat and gabbed for an hour or so. Not an hour of wasted time, by any means, but an hour I should’ve spent packing, or writing, or putting more CDs on Ebay. Alas, here it is now closing on nine o’clock and I’ve done nothing.

The kitchen is a wreck from dinner, my carry-on is still in the closet, and I’m only up to here on tonight’s blog. I leave for Oregon tomorrow. There for three-ish days for training. Up in the mountains, at some lodge in the snow. I’d be excited if I wasn’t going for a work seminar. Have a lead on some tickets to see the Shins in Portland on Wednesday night – hoping it materializes. I’ve seen them twice before and they always put on a good show. I don’t wanna pay double face-value though… I’m a discerning scalpee like that.

I had Keaton tonight, one of Sharaun’s twice-weekly volleyball games. I don’t mind, I enjoy spending time with her just us. In fact, this weekend, after I get back from up North (I should be packing right now), I’m gonna have her to myself for four whole days. My longest stretch as a single parent yet, as a matter of fact. Sharaun is going down San Diego way to volunteer her time and clean up the burned wreckage from the recent fires. So, while she’s off getting checkmarks by her name in Peter’s log, I’ll be here taking care of Keaton. Oh, I’ve got plans: We’re gonna go to the park (I’m gonna pull her in the wagon); we’re gonna go water the wheat outside (she loves that, I got her a little watering pail so she can help); we’re gonna walk down to the mailbox together (one of her favorite things to do) and I’ll let her turn the key. Yeah, it’s pretty much gonna be bombs.

Hey, eyebrows, what the stank is up with this?

C’mon. Really? You’re gonna do that to me?

Not cool, eyebrows. Not cool.

Goodnight.

washing cars


Happy Monday, in the new bizarro world where I go to work every morning.

I’ve been thinking lately about my longer-term career prospects. I think, providing I can maintain it, my current employment should provide a usable path to a lifetime career and decent retirement. What’s more, I do, more often than not, like what I do, and even take pride in my work on occasion. So, it’s not quite “meaningless toil” to me, which I feel is good. However, there are times when I begin to think that I could be just as fulfilled, if perhaps not more, doing any number of alternate jobs. I’ve often thought, for instance, about “running away” to somewhere in the rural Midwest. Maybe driving around through the farm-based heartland until I find a decently populated town which could use a little PC –repair shop. Somewhere where I could buy some land, go to work at my little storefront on Main Street, get to know the populous: who’s courting whom, who’s sister just had a baby, who’s marriage is on the rocks because Henry’s too fond of the sauce, that kind of stuff. When I think about “having money” in terms of “sustaining a happy standard of living” instead of “building a fortune,” these kind of alternative job-lifestyles really seem attractive.

And now I’ll totally change the subject. At the risk of talking about work, which, as a policy, I don’t do here – I wanted to write down some thoughts from Dave’s Management Playbook. Here goes:

One of the things I find difficult about being a manager is dealing with peoples’ constant desire to “do something more.” Don’t get me wrong: On the surface, aspiring to the “next big thing” is great. In fact, it’s often what you look for in employees, that yen to land the bigger fish, to take whatever they’re doing to that next level. It’s also, in some regards, the kind of attitude that often gets rewarded in the workplace. However, there are some boundaries to this “moving up the ladder” task-tackling-strategy that some folks don’t seem to understand. The biggest problem I see with people who have this mindset is that they seem to forget the limitations of their present job-role when they ask for “something bigger and better” to work on. As a manager, I’m looking to get you ahead – it’s an integral part of my job to help develop you. If you’re my performer, I’m always trying to get you that “high visibility” thing to work on, I want you to succeed and excel because, when you do, it makes us both look good. There are limits to this, though, and some people seem to understand them – while others don’t. Let me explain.

Here it is in a nutshell: If you want something “bigger, better” than what you’re currently doing, make sure that whatever you choose or suggest fits within the context of what you currently do at the company.

What do you mean, Dave? Well: If I managed a car wash, and all we did at the car wash was wash cars, I wouldn’t expect an employee to come to me and say something like, “Dave, I’ve been washing cars here now for three years. Next year, I don’t want to wash cars anymore; I’m tired of that kind of ‘mundane’ work. Everyone here washes cars. Instead, I’d like to paint cars. As my manager, I expect you to support my career decision.” Yeah. OK. Look buddy, this here business is a car wash. At the car wash, we wash cars. If you want to paint cars, go get a job at the car-painting place. If you work at the car wash, you should expect your job to involve washing cars. Just because everyone else, from the newest new-hire to the most senior car-washer, washes cars, doesn’t mean that work is “mundane.” In fact, at the car wash, washing cars is the most important job there is. There is no job more important, no task more critical, than getting the cars washed. “Everyone” washes cars here because if they didn’t, our business wouldn’t be successful. I fail to see how this is that so difficult to understand.

Now, that being (somewhat sarcastically) said, there is room at the car wash for that three-year veteran to “move ahead” and potentially get to that “next big thing.” How? Well, there are infinite ways, really, but let me dream some up right here. How about coming to me and suggesting some things that might improve our custom? Or, suggesting some process tweaks that may save us time and/or money? You want to do something different? How about coming to me with an idea about offering an interior detailing service for a premium over our basic wash, and offering yourself as the person who’d be in charge, maybe with some supporting projections on the potential financial upside? See, there are plenty of ways you can get yourself noticed, and potentially even shift the bulk of your work away from car washing per se, while still operating within the bounds of our business. As the car wash manager, these ideas will likely impress me, and I’ll be much more willing to bite on them, as they play right back into our core business. I would expect you to remember, however, that, at the heart of things, you still work at a car wash – and, as such, you’d still be expected to wash cars. It is, after all, what we do at the car wash.

Let me clarify that there is nothing wrong with working at the car wash and aspiring to someday paint cars. Heck, if that’s what you want to do, and the car wash is merely a stepping stone on your path there – you can expect me, as a good manager, to support you. I’ll even keep an eye out for car-painting jobs which may be open, and be sure to send you with all the good recommendations I can manager. I’ll do this because, ultimately, I’m primarily concerned with you working hard for me while you work for me – and I know that keeping you happy will also keep you working hard. If you can comprehend this, we’ll do well together. But, if you expect me, as your manager at the car wash, to “reward” you for your service by exempting you from the “everyday” task of washing cars, you’re going to be disappointed. I understand that you want to be set apart from the hired-last-week Armor All guy, I do; I’ve been there. But don’t expect a special job that doesn’t involve washing cars. Once again, this is a car wash – and we need pretty much everyone here to wash cars or we don’t make money.

So, workers, never give up looking for your big break. Never stop “thinking ahead” and looking for your opportunity to excel and make your own way. But, unless you’re willing or wanting to change jobs, make sure to look for these things within the context of what you currently do. I understand that jobs get “comfortable,” and it’s tempting to want to do that next big thing from within the comfort zone you’ve built-up in your current position. If you’re looking to make a career move, then you should make your career move. It’s very difficult to make a successful upward career move while maintaining the comfort level you’ve achieved “doing what you’re good at” currently. In fact, this kind of career “slide” or “shift” is only doable by those with keen networking and political maneuvering skills. If you’re the girl at the car wash who expects her manager to reward her by letting her not was cars with the rest of the troops – you likely don’t have the slickness to negotiate one of these “shifts.” And, since I could write a whole other Playbook entry about making those “slick” moves, I’ll leave it at that.

So, what can you, Mr. Car Wash Worker-Bee, do? Let me leave you with some concrete suggestions which will probably get you ahead within the operational boundaries of your business: First up, why not try to continue kicking butt at the car wash? Do better than the car washers you can do better than. Maintain a good attitude and be friendly. Demonstrate to the boss that you understand how important getting cars washed is to her business. Perhaps help her identify ways to wash more cars, or wash the cars you already wash better in the same amount of time. Make an effort to understand the car wash industry, and relate what you’re doing at your car wash to how others are doing things are their car washes. Make connections with people who work at other car washes, mention to your boss that the Southside Suds is doing a two-for-one promo next week, that you heard it from a buddy you know who works there, convince him it may be a good idea to send out coupons for free waxing with every wash that week – show him your knowledge and connections can help him be competitive. You get the idea. There are millions of way to shine at your job, just don’t make the mistake of forgetting what exactly it is you where hired to do when you shine.

There are millions of ways to “move up” at your current job, but unless you also want to “move out,” make sure you’re appropriately tying your aspirations to your role.

Goodnight lovers.

who are you guys?


Another day at the fount-of-busy that is the sawmill. It’s hard for me to believe that this was only my third day back, like being dropped into a jungle thick with undergrowth and having to machete (as a verb, mind you) my way out. Stupid work, where’s my warm-up time? Where’s my trial-run? Where’s my mulligan? Anyway, I feel like I’m kicking butt. And, despite having had to go back to work to get that feeling – I kinda like it. You just don’t go home from a long day sitting on the couch reading a book thinking, “Yeah, I kicked ass today.” Then again, the ass-kicking means nothing to no-one, in the long-run. There, I think that’s sufficiently pro’d and con’d as per my style – never say anything, stay on the fence, the non-committal commitment. What?

Sometimes I wonder about people reading this blog. Do I know them? Do they know me? My stats tell me I also get a “decent” amount of daily traffic. I mean, check it out, here’s a snapshot of my daily traffic numbers over the past week or so:


sounds familiar visitors per day

Surprisingly, this graph says that sounds familiar averages between sixty and seventy unique hits a day. This is exciting to me. Sixty people a day? Who the heck are all of you? I know I get the random Google or Yahoo-referred visitor, who likely only stay to read what they came for and then move onto the next stop on the internet, and that these visitors can add up… but still, that leaves some percentage (I bet greater than fifty percent) of those ~sixty daily visitors who are real readers. Maybe not repeat readers, the basic stats package I have doesn’t go into that much detail (and even when I had StatTraq installed it wasn’t easy to track), but they are real people who at least alight here at sounds familiar whether by chance or will.

As an aside: I think it’s interesting that there’s an almost triple-traffic spike on October 29th – which is the day I wrote about two extremely internet-vogue items: the OiNK raid and the new Radiohead album. Seems blogging about current events can really boost your audience.

And, since we’re talking about my traffic patterns here at the old blog (because I can think of nothing else to write about), let’s back this thing out and take a look at visitors in week time-chunks:

Visitors per week.
sounds familiar visitors per week

Seems to prove out the sixty-seventy per-day thing, at least for the past couple weeks, but it also shows that, on the whole, traffic is on the decline from some sort of visitor heyday back towards the middle of the year. Again, the data seems odd to me. I mean, did I really have some three-thousand visitors back in the second week of June? The only thing I wrote about that week was the Santa Maria style BBQ Anthony I and built, and I can’t even get those entries to show up on Google with hand-picked keywords. Funny, but three-thousand visitors is totally intriguing. Wonder what what would happen if we zoomed out and looked at things from a month-chunk basis?


sounds familiar visitors per month

Holy crap what?! Hovering over that June 2007 peak on the live page tells me that it sits at 10,423 visitors. Ten-thousand?! What the crap? How is that even possible? Looking at this, I start thinking the 3,000 peak from the week-level graph may just be the downtrending “tail” from this huge early-June spike. So, what happened earlier in June or late May? On the 29th of May, I wrote about how my then host, StartLogic, sucked ass. That could draw visitors, I suppose. On the 31st of May, I mentioned the Arcade Fire show we attended in Berkeley, and linked to several popular Arcade Fire sites. I guess that could also pull visitors. I’m not sure, but it sure was fun to look at all this, was it not?

Oh, it wasn’t? Sorry.

Well, then, check this out. While this whole page about some cool things in China is neat-o, I’m linking it because I want you to scroll down to the big black box with the skull and crossbones that says “The Deadly South Peak.” There’s a written account there from a Western guy who hiked this trail in China, and the pictures and story are very well done. You have to see this trail to believe it. I checked, and the trip from Shanghai to Xi’an, which is about 75mi south of Mt. Haushan, is only a two-and-a-half hour flight and is relatively cheap. I’m thinking, “Hey, I go to Shanghai a couple times a year… maybe I should go climb this thing.” Man, would that be an adventure. An insane, ill-fated adventure on which I would likely kill or injure myself… but an adventure nonetheless. I think, if I could get someone to try it with me – it might be up for it. You down?

Goodnight.

angry, resigned, jaded


I did write Sunday, but it was only this, and it wasn’t enough.

Sunday and… and… Oh Lord in Heaven I can barely stand to type it… and… I have to go to work tomorrow. It’s my absolute last day of this nine week vacation, and it’s a day of tears and anguish. I had planned, like a good conscientious homeowner, to mow the lawn today. But, when I got up to change into the ratty clothes I wear to cut grass, I had a sudden change of heart. Mow the lawn on my last day of freedom? I think not. No sir, I most certainly think not. You see, even knowing that today is very likely the last chance I’ll have to mow before next weekend (being that it’s gonna be dark after work now with the time change), I just couldn’t bring myself to sacrifice my last day to something so work-like. Instead, I want to read my book, listen to some Dylan, maybe take a nap after playing with Keaton – yeah, wide open.

After that the apathy overcame me, and I just gave up on posting for the day.

Today, however, was Monday (noobs: I write at night, the evening before I post, hence the date discrepancy) and it was my first day back at work. I look back on the day I wrote this entry, on my last day of work some two months ago, and it seems so far away… so why does my time off seem to have gone by so fast? I went into work this morning, and it was like picking up right where I left off. No gradual ramp into activity, rather a nose-dive into the same frigid waters of stress and deadlines. The shock of how quickly things got busy really surprised me. Then again, maybe I’m more overwhelmed than busy – I always have had a problem with trying to solve problems myself rather than let them be solved elsewhere. In some ways, I guess my coming back feels like a big inheritance of problems. I’ve gotten better, for the most part I can force myself to let those working for me solve the problems… but that temptation to jump in and run is still there.

Anyway, I’m starting to not make sense. Regarding my first day back: I thought it went extremely well. I wasn’t crushed by having to return, more like I slid right back into place. That in itself is kinda scary, like I’m so accustomed to work it’s like riding a bike… but it was also kinda nice. Actually, I felt like I got quite a bit “done” today – which is to say, I did a lot to understand what happened while I was out, and get myself back into the game. I know I was dreading it, and I can’t say I wouldn’t have rather lounge about the house reading, but, in the end, it really wasn’t as bad as I thought. Sort of like slamming into a brick wall with a seatbelt on, or something. And now the cycle begins anew: wake, work, family, sleep, repeat. I wonder how I’ll feel come the end of the week? A fellow worker said that his first three post-sabbatical weeks went: angry, resigned, jaded. After that, jaded was permanent. I’ll let you know.

Right now, though, Sharaun’s gone at some chef-kinda party, Keaton’s down for the night, and I’ve put on the Figurines’ latest album (which is no longer new at all) to give it another go. I loved their first album so much I just can’t seem to accept the fact that their follow-up didn’t do much for me. And, it does have some goodness, it just doesn’t hold a candle to their debut. Stinks. I hate it when that happens. The other night I TiVo’d a bunch of old black and white western serials off of the old-stuff channel, and I’ve really been enjoying then. The times when the kids of this nation were weaned on cowboy-‘n’-indian movies has always seemed like good times to me, not sure why. I figure it’s somehow good, from a cultural-history perspective or something, to know about the Trail Blazers’ spot in old-timey westerns.

Goooooood night.

maybe get sick on candy


Happy Halloween friends and enemies! Let not your modern-day Protestant church rob you of the good times this holiday affords the world! Forsake that “Harvest Festival” or “Fall Celebration” for some good old trick-or-treating with a scary mask and some fake blood! Maybe get sick on candy like you were a kid again. If not tonight, when else?

Tonight (which is last night as you read this, should you know nothing about when/how I blog) Keaton sat on my lap and watched It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown with me (on DVD, of course, since it’s such a classic). To my surprise, she sat right down with me and truly paid attention. I think it’s because she’s able to recognize so many things: pumpkins, ghosts, the moon, a football, a dog, hats, trees, leaves, and mail – just to name a few. Her sense of recognition and memory impresses me on a daily basis, and her vocabulary, word usage, and phrase-building ability boggles my mind. She says things like “Keeper, out, room!” to the cat; “Daddy, reading, book,” to me; “Mommy, cooking, dinner, hungry, eat,” all together like she’s really trying to make a coherent thought. I know it’s like just the beginning of her “grouping” the words she knows around a single binding action or concept, but it’s still pretty amazing. Pretty much every day she says a word I hadn’t even thought she’d known… it’s pretty impressive.

I went to lunch with a fellow manager from work today, and even though I don’t start back there until Monday, I couldn’t help but use our time to begin gearing my mind for the return. I asked about the usual: what’s going on, how’s morale, how are the politics, who’s doing what, what’s coming up, what happened while I was out, and what of the latest rumors and soap opera goings-on. It was a good conversation, but, in the end, it more than reinforced my dream of winning the lottery Saturday night so I just don’t have to go in at all. I’ve waffled here before about my job – which I truly do enjoy, and feel I’m good at – but also on the other hand wouldn’t mind seeing being swallowed up whole by the Earth in some freak geological event. It’s a fine balance, a knife-edge thing of sorts. I fear, however, that I will be going back… that much, at least, is rather inevitable. And, if I’m to go back and continue to do well – I figured I better start those long-rested hamsters a’running again before I walk in on day-one. Sigh… it begins.

Tonight I watched most (not all, I’ll admit, as it began wearing on me) of the Democratic debate on MSNBC. Ugh… people… we’ve got another whole year of this. I don’t know that I can take it. I’m a fairly well-established social liberal, so I like to think I identify with the general current of thought of these people, their platforms. But man, I’m already weary. Anyone else share in my apathy? I hate how politics can just suck the life of out seemingly everything sometimes. Why, when I watch these people, do I take on such an air of doubt… why do I find it so hard to assume they are being honest? What have you done to me, George W. Bush? You’ve ruined me. You’re such a fucker. You’re a fucker and you’ve made me ashamed of my country’s truckballs-style John Wayne politics on the world stage. Ugh… another year.

Finally, before I go, a snippet from a recent interview with Trent Reznor (Nine Inch Nails frontman and a proponent of various forms of the “new thought” regarding music distribution), where he admits he was an OiNKer (see my earlier entry if the word “OiNKer” means nothing to you), and talks a bit about the former site:

What do you think about OiNK being shut down?

Trent: I’ll admit I had an account there and frequented it quite often. At the end of the day, what made OiNK a great place was that it was like the world’s greatest record store. Pretty much anything you could ever imagine, it was there, and it was there in the format you wanted. If OiNK cost anything, I would certainly have paid, but there isn’t the equivalent of that in the retail space right now. iTunes kind of feels like Sam Goody to me. I don’t feel cool when I go there. I’m tired of seeing John Mayer’s face pop up. I feel like I’m being hustled when I visit there, and I don’t think their product is that great. DRM, low bit rate, etc. Amazon has potential, but none of them get around the issue of pre-release leaks. And that’s what’s such a difficult puzzle at the moment. If your favorite band in the world has a leaked record out, do you listen to it or do you not listen to it? People on those boards, they’re grateful for the person that uploaded it — they’re the hero. They’re not stealing it because they’re going to make money off of it; they’re stealing it because they love the band. I’m not saying that I think OiNK is morally correct, but I do know that it existed because it filled a void of what people want.

Man, that sure sounds like it was a cool website… too bad I never got the chance to check it out. In summary: I was never a member. But, if there was some some bizarro world in which I was – I most certainly would’ve only reveled in the site’s groundbreaking role in digital content distribution, and never partook in it’s tainted wares. I’m to straight and narrow to put my neck out there like that… don’t y’all know me at all?

Goodnight.