commercial tendancies

No idea.
As a “blogger,” I think I’m supposed to have a huge list of other blogs I read frequently. I didn’t read this anywhere or anything, it’s just something I’ve noticed about other “blog” sites on the internet. They all have links to another ten or fifteen blogs, and they all cross-link and refer to each other. Not me, I don’t read any blogs. I wonder if that makes me some kinda blog-snob elitist or something? All I do is write and post, and then do it again the next day. Anyway, your blog sucks.

Whatever the impetus is, I’m in that state of writing again where I end up with pages and pages of backlogged, pre-written stuff. I have a Word doc filled with blocks of three and four paragraphs on certain subjects, and on any given day I cobble them together to make an entry. I actually like being in that situation, because I can essentially “take a day off” from writing, not that I don’t enjoy it. I mean, I love writing, or else I wouldn’t have this stupid website, but it is kinda nice to be able to just press “upload” and not have to think up new ideas. Thing is, when stuff keeps happening, I feel compelled to write about it – and then it becomes the entries, leaving the backlogged stuff to go stale. Maybe this week I’ll just work on “cleaning house.”

I’ve talked about daytime TV commercials before, but last Friday I was at home for lunch and I decided to try take it one step further. Usually when I go home for lunch, I check the TiVo and see if there’s something worthwhile watching while I eat my sandwich. Finding nothing this time, however, I decided to go with the default back-to-back hour of COPS that runs simultaneously on Fox and FX. Usually, if you time it right, you can pretty much avoid commercials by switching back and forth between the episodes. This time, however, the commercials were actually what I was interested in. I decided to document the contents of each commercial break during an hour of COPS on daytime TV, noon-to-one, what I would assume is the equivalent of prime-time for the daytime audience. Here’s what I found:

Aladdin Bail Bonds
NFL Sunday on Fox promo ad
Personal injury attorney
Get a degree in criminal justice (stick with what you know?)
Cheap auto insurance (as low as $29 a month!)
Check ‘n’ Go (paycheck loans, not a scam at all)

Valtrex (genital herpes drug)
Gun show at the local expo this weekend (with a banjo music soundtrack)
1-800-DENTIST (“… good dental health may change your life! Maybe get a better job or even an exciting new relationship!”)
Quick & easy auto financing (even with bad credit!)
Public Service Announcement (eat 5-9 servings of colorful fruits and vegetables a day, because X% of the state’s population is overweight)
Cost-U-Less auto insurance

Kentucky Fried Chicken (extra-crispy meal deal, now with a half-gallon Pepsi “mega-jug”)
entucky Fried Chicken (new chicken breast salads)
Carmax (sell your car)
Carmax (buy a car)
Heald College (be a dental assistant)
Kaiser-Permanente affordable healthcare

X-Men video game
Advil Liqui-gels
ITT Technical Institute
Diabetes testing supplies by mail (I think it was the Quaker Oats guy, on horseback, in a canyon)

Hmm… you think that commercial lineup is in any way indicative of what the station sees as their target 12pm-1pm audience? I think, from the information above, we can do some detective work and construct a pretty good idea of the type of person Fox thinks is likely watching COPS during lunch. From my analysis, their target demo contains overweight, uneducated, out of work (probably due to injury), oft-arrested, herpes- and diabetes-afflicted, destitute yet money-lusting folks with poor credit and no insurance.

Did you guys know that Costco sells coffins? Kinda weird, right? Dave out.

one years old

Thanks to all my people.
A rare weekend entry to say happy one year anniversary to the blog.

So, “happy one year anniversary blog.”

365 days in a year, 104 of those are weekend days, and we’ll estimate 10 for non-working holidays – that leaves us with 251 days. This is my 242nd entry. 242 out of 251, or 9 non-writing days.

Pretty dang good if you ask me.

Dave out.

double-header

For you Lord, and none other.
For the record, I don’t think this is cheating. I finished Wednesday’s entry around 11pm and was getting ready to hit the sack, when I got a second wind – and the rare urge to keep writing. So I did, and ’round about midnight I realized I’d written a full-fledged entry and not just a “starter” fragment for an eventual Thursday post. So here she goes, Wednesday’s hit the web around 11pm and this one’ll be up before 1am – making for a nice blog double-header.

First off, I’d just like to say that, beginning with this week’s Monday entry, I think the caliber of my entries’ “accompanying image” has increased greatly. That trippy color-thing on Monday, the awesome silhouetted diggers that were Tuesday, Wednesday’s “black dude with big balls,” and today’s Abraham sacraficing Isaac. I was beginning to feel down about my blog lately, like the entries were forced and not very good. But I really like yesterday’s entry, and I went back through the archives by week to see if I could pinpoint when I developed this feeling – but to my surprise couldn’t really find any entries that I truly detest. So, I guess I was just bummed because there seemed to be a run on ideas, and I couldn’t think of anything new. Hopefully I’ll maintain my talent of filling up paragraphs (much like thus one) with nonsensical ramblings. Ramble on!

In a quest for new music that I can fall in love with, I’ve been reassessing some of my latest downloads and giving them second chances to become the next Killers Hot Fuss. I finally made it back around to Sufjan’s latest effort, which I actually remember really liking the few times I listened to it the first time around. PF gave it such glowing accolades, I thought I’d better spin it again for good measure. Instantly I remember hearing every tune, which tells me that, at one point, I listened to the whole album – generally a sign that I enjoyed the offering. Anyway, predominantly quiet and for the most part reflective – it makes a solid impression (one underscored with some heavy Christian imagery, making the whole thing very familiar). I think I just picture it as more of a Fall album, while the summer heat makes me pine for something a little more bouncy. As a sidenote, Sufjan’s site eventually resolves to a website called “soundsfamilyre.com,” clearly a rip-off of this very blog. What?

In a little more than a month, and if I so desire, I’ll be able to do a “one year ago” feature for my entries. That’s right, the blog’s 1st birthday is coming up in early September. Hard to believe I’ve been writing pretty much daily for a solid year. Come that day, I plan to do a ratio of writable days to days with entries – to judge my dedication, y’know? I have confidence it’ll be a high number, despite my recent spotty writing. I’m super proud of some entries, and others are so/so, while some are downright filler. More often than not I fancy a paragraph or idea that might be hidden inside an otherwise common entry. Anyway, I think it’ll be cool to “look back,” a year to the day, on what I was writing about. Blog on.

I mean, I’m trying Sara, I really am. A couple MP3s, a Ween WMA or two. Didn’t mean to “God you out” with that Sufjan track, but it’s outstanding, no? Dave out.

not going to write today

Lazy
I am not going to write today, even though the entry is written – I reviewed it before posting and have concluded that it sucks. It is my right. Instead, read this and you will laugh.

Also, by 8:20am I had decided I would do no work at work today. Nothing, not a damn thing. Weekend here I come. Dave out.

delusions of grandeur

This is the sound... the sound of the underground!
Running while sick is crap. I thought my lung capacity would be worse because I’ve been congested and coughing, but I actually ran fairly well tonight. I still loathe the act, but I’m getting more and more used to it. Maybe if I keep doing it, I’ll lose some weight – either that or my ankles will collapse under me. Either way, I’ma make like Forest and keep run-ning.

So I actually got a couple takers on my “guest blog” offer, not sure anyone will actually deliver, but it’s kinda cool that I at least got some tentative OKs. I’ll print ’em as they come.

Tonight (tomorrow, whatever) is the Death Cab for Cutie show at the Fillmore in SF. Been a nice long while since we’ve made that trek to see a show, and I think this one is worth it. Ben Kwellar is the opener – and I dig his new solo effort, so I’m looking forward to the entire fĂȘte. I guess this will be the 4th time I’ve seen Death Cab, and as long as they keep turning out stuff like Transatlanticism I’ll keep shelling out ducketts for tickets. They really are one of my favorite indie (some might argue that anyone on the OC ain’t “indie” anymore) acts out there right now. I like to think the magic is in the chemistry, but I can’t get over the fact that Ben Gibbard’s other material is nearly unflappably perfect as well. I mean darn, Postal Service, All-Time Quarterback, that dude is some kinda lyrical Midas. Ahem, enough fawning.

Oh man, I’m just sitting here listening to some compilation I grabbed off the newsies called something like “Old Skool Hardcore.” What a trip down memory lane. Wanna walk with me? OK. The year is 1992, my best buddy Kyle is gone for a month of the summer vacation between our freshman and sophomore years of high school – as he is every year, visiting his dad in Plano, TX. Every year Kyle came back from his dad’s place with mass amounts of new music, but this year was different. Whereas he’d usually come back with tapes full of rare 60’s or 70’s gems he’d unearthed from his dad’s huge music library – this year he brought back something new. God forbid! Seeing as we were both “too cool” for modern music (“Hammer Time” indeed), this was a huge step. He didn’t know it, but those two albums Kyle brought back were gonna change everything.

The Prodigy’s debut, “Experience” only just released that year, and Utah Saints’ self-titled 1st LP, also placenta-covered; back-to-back on one blissful 90min Maxell. Seems Kyle’s dad’s long-time girlfriend’s two no-good sons had gone and got into the whole “rave” scene. Being as I had no idea what a “rave” even was, the whole thing was new to me. As were these beat-heavy, chunky-jangly tunes. But man, it was like a natural fit. Overnight we went from Derek and the Dominos and Bob Dylan to breakbeat’s #1 proselytizers. What’s now known affectionately as “old skool hardcore” was the muzak-du-jour for us. And much like the elitism I revel in now by enjoying non-radio indie – being on the bleeding edge of a new and underground genre was an attractant in and of itself.

From then on it was a friendly competition, who could score the roughest most underground tunes and share them with the other. Scouring record bins in Orlando DJ pits like the Drop Shop – trading for obscure mixes and LPs with contacts met while using teachers’ PCs during Biology in the internet’s swaddling days. Never satisfied with the standard 4/4 “fairground” techno bullshit which eventually made it into mainstream musical consciousness – we were always searching for the most brokenest and choppy beats. Eventually, with our friendship waning, the acquisition of new tunes became somewhat of a pissing contest (at least, in my head it did). I would hear from Jeremy that Stacy got a new mix from Kyle and it was badass. Jealous, I’d find something new and try to get it circulating within the “network” – all the while hoping Kyle’d eventually hear it came from me.

Soon enough drugs and girls drove us apart for good, but during later “reunions” we’d always be surprised to find out how much our musical tastes tracked each other. From breakbeat to some new stuff called “jungle” out of London, morphing into the Chicago jungle scene from the US side of things, and finally dying under the generic “drum and bass” moniker. Release parties for Moonshine records at Orlando skating rinks, sacks of weed and doses, despite drifting down differnt paths of personal taste, we pretty much stayed neck-and-neck until he shattered my thinking by playing me Pavement’s “Wowee Zowee” one day.

That bitch was always one step ahead. Guess it served me right. Prodigy sucked after “Jilted,” and arguably sucked during “Jilted” too. Don’t even talk to me about that bitchass group with a crab on their record that sang “Firestarter,” whoever those dicks are – they ain’t the same Prodigy that did “Experience.” Liam might still be able to whip up beats, but ugh. Jungle was getting stale, and while happy hardcore tried – it just couldn’t recall the early nineties. It was time to move on, and as always – Kyle was my catalyst. So onto Pavement and Built to Spill I moved… still loitering around the genre today.

Holy crap y’allz. I just wrote several paragraphs on the kind of music I liked in high school. What the eff? But you know, I don’t care if it’s boring. It was easy to write – and that means it needed to be written. When I forget I’m writing and concentrate on telling the story, I know it’s a story worth writing down. Even if it is about nothing at all. Anyway, it’s not a complete “Dave’s musical tastes” evolutionary chart (man, how awesome would it be to actually make one of those?!) – but it’s a slice of time. I mean, somewhere either before or during all that was the Skinny Puppy/Front 242/Ministry phase, y’know, the all-black and combat boots era? Ahh, music, way too important to me.

Anyway, I wrote all that because I was originally trying to “introduce” a story about my eternal quest for a long-lost mix tape from the breakbeat days, but the “intro” morphed into a story of its own. I’ll just get right to the point: I’m always looking for songs which mighta been on this mix, as it was, in my opinion, the defining mix for early 90s hardcore. Alas, I lost the tape – only to one day years later hear the exact same mix on some alterna-radio’s Saturday night “club mix” or something. So I know it was a popular mix, perhaps commercially released or local to some big Orlando DJ. For nearly five years I’ve had a text file on my desktop called “mixtape.txt” in which I track songs in two categories: “definite,” and “possible.” One day I’ll find that mix, I swear. Stupid “underground” music, hard to find by definition, bah!

Maybe if I stop chugging Diet Cokes I’ll realize it’s nigh’ on 1am and I gotta go give my eight hours to the man again tomorrow. I’ve impressed myself with such a voluminous tome today, at three pages in Word it’s bound to look impressively page-filling sandwiched between the sickly-green borders of the blog.

And he even took time to link it up proper, good night all. Dave. Is. Out.

takers?

I got nothing.  What you got?
I was kicking around writing ideas the other day, and hit upon an idea I thought would be kinda fun. I was thinking how much I like writing stories about the olden days, and telling things from my point of view – and I thought it would be really cool to hear some stories from other people who experienced them. That got me thinking about contacting some old friends and asking them if they wanted to do a “guest blog.” The more I thought about it, the less practical it sounded; I don’t really know who would want to do it, and I don’t even know who I would contact. So I kinda gave up, but I also thought opening up the blog to some “guest spots” might be kinda fun. So if there’s anyone out there who writes for fun, and I’ll publish yer ass on the internet. Anonymous or not, your choice. And I’m being for real too; moms, you got something to write – send it along. Random reader, blog-faithful, send it.

Anyway, with the likelihood of the offer being accepted being pretty low – I guess I better keep writing to fill the pages. Although I’m not going to write much today, since I didn’t do my late-night writing last night – and I’m really pressed for time today. (Yes, Wes, the blog is taking a hit for your stupid work-related deadlines). I just wanted to comment on one thing and then call it a weekend.

The recently released pictures of US soldiers humiliating and killing Iraqi prisoners have got me thinking. I mean, I think I’m not dense enough to not realize this stuff goes on – but I really wish it didn’t. (Damn, I think I just won the “how many negatives can you fit into a sentence” contest.) A few dumb soldiers with cameras document evidence which can be used to fuel the fires of hatred toward the US. Just what we need right now. So, crashing planes into buildings isn’t all that saintly either – but c’mon guys?

There. “A weekend.” Dave out.

old navy and ross every day

The printing press why?  I think because of the whole flier thing.
Whoa, sorry guys. Things have been hectic both at and away from work this week, and the blog has suffered as a result. I promised myself that I wouldn’t let the blog fall like I did my journal when things got busy in college. So I gotsta write.

I guess halfway through Tuesday’s article I decided to start spelling “flyer” as “flier.” It’s cool though, because apparently English is stupid enough that both spellings are accepted. Still strange how my brain decided to start spelling it differently somewhere in mid-writing.

Sharaun got selected for jury duty this week, seems like it could be a lengthy trail too? bummer for her since it’s her off-track time and she wants nothing more than to do nothing. Maybe good for me since it will keep her out of Old Navy and Ross every day. Now I’m gonna get beat up for saying that. I think the trial doesn’t start until sometime later this month, but she has to be there next week for something or other – which means she’ll miss the boat trip on Monday. She was pretty bummed.

So, apparently the wording from that book that I read in high school (and used to create the satanic flier prank) is an “actual” satanic ritual from La Vey’s “Satanic Bible.” It’s the “Satanic Baptism,” the Children’s Ceremony no less. Guess that book I read plagiarized La Vey’s stuff or something. Maybe those youth group leaders were familiar with the actual stuff and it lent credence to my prank. Awesome.

Sorry. Dave out.