no tears in sleepyland


Eating dinner tonight, I brought my fork down on a yellow pepper to cut it for easier eating and some pepper-juice sprayed in my eye. Sucked. Poor Keaton had a tough time tonight, teething and screaming. So, we cancelled our plans for the evening and got her to bed instead (no tears in sleepyland). I just got done whipping up some brownies to fix Sharaun’s sweet craving (I’m the baker in the family), and in 20min we will eat them. Small blog today, not much in a writing mood… suppose I shot my wad over the course of the multi-thousand-word week. Here we go.

My tiny blog experienced a small bit of increased exposure today due to a rash of internet searches for the word “crumbelievable.” A search for said word, which is a Kraft cheese marketing campaign, on Google turns up my January entry on it as the 3rd return. Not bad. The “crumbelievable” search has always been a leader in the blog stats, but I didn’t have a good explanation for yesterday’s spike – that is, until I went home to make a sandwich for lunch and instructed the TiVo to serve up Wednesday’s Colbert Report. Turns out Colbert did a bit on American “cultural cohesiveness” in which he cited the Kraft Crumbles crumbelievable television ads as the campaign which can bring people together, a sort of “Where’s the beef? or “I’ve fallen…” for the modern age. Ahhh… the ebb and flow of pop culture, at least it’s good for copy.

Time for brownies, goodnight.

hairyguy30


Wednesday! The day I take my trash down to the curb at night, and wake up to it being gone! America is great, it’s that kinda freedom-magic that makes terrorists hate us so much. Sitting here rooting around my super-secret leak-friendly haunts like a pig hunting truffles, looking for some new Justin Tenderlegs songs for Sharaun. She’s always so happy when I can grab a couple more tunes off his upcoming album – tonight I got two, maybe I’ll get laid. Keaton fell asleep on my chest tonight, I didn’t want to put her in her crib – but my arm fell asleep and I figured she’d be more comfortable there anyway. Good dad.

First off, let me say how happy I am that yesterday’s co-op mega-post drew the comments it did. You guys had some great input. Hunting, fishing, biodiesel, and a ram pump are great “misses” on my part and make me think that one of the requirements for my “ideal” fantasy scenario should be a piece of property with flowing water. Now, having rights to fish or impede that water is another thing altogether, but, who knows, I’m sure there are still parcels of land available somewhere in this great country that come with limited water rights.

I found the biodiesel and ram pump comments most interesting. In fact, I’m somewhat ashamed to say I’d never heard of a ram pump prior to stinkmeat’s comment yesterday (go here for more info on this beautifully simple piece of engineering). These things have some impressive specs, from the Ram Company website:

We have a customer in Montana using our 3″ cast aluminum pump ($2100), pumping water 270 feet vertical lift and over 1,500 feet from the pump and is getting 2 1/2 to 3 gallons per minute. They have a 33 foot drop into the pump with a 100 foot drive pipe.

After reading about them, I’ve now decided I want one for the co-op. Also, the biodiesel thing was something I initially chose not to touch, but it’s conceivable to just go all-out and spend the cash up-front to convert vehicles and equipment (the notion of a biodiesel generator is very interesting). While I’m not 100% convinced on the ease of manufacturing biodiesel (my hangup comes mainly from the source of raw, unrefined material), I think it’s worth considering (not officially part of the fantasy, but flirting with it pretty hard).

Yes, my friends, all good points indeed. I wonder if I could take a tax writeoff for traveling around the country scouting plots of land for things like an elevated water source, proximity to hunting and fishing, soil conditions for planting, and average sun-hours and windspeed? Because seriously, when I see this place in my head it’ so awesome. And, before I leave the topic – I stumbled on this link today and found it pretty interesting (and germane). Hippie crap over now, all you conservatives can take off your blinders and start reading again.

The saga of WordPress eating my posts while I’m still working on them continues. It’s so unpredictable now that I’ve been cutting and pasting my posts into a text editor prior to hitting the “save and continue editing” button (the button which seems to shuffle 2/3 of my posts to the nether regions of the internet). It’s actually really pissing me off. Seems to happen on bigger posts more than smaller ones, but I haven’t really “studied” it or anything so I’m not sure. All I know is that it’s been making writing more difficult and less enjoyable.

It got so frustrating when it erased my co-op post the other day multiple times that I started searching for it. After much hunting, turns out it’s a Firefox bug – not a WordPress bug. It’s a known, reproducible bug with Firefox – and the only decent workaround right now is to either use Internet Explorer to edit long posts, or install the Firefox IE Tab plugin and have your WordPress “Write Post” page default to opening in IE. Only problem I have there is that, for some stupidass reason, a carriage return in the “Write Post” window using IE gets automatically double-spaced. What a sucky solution, but I’m now doing it rather than risk losing reams of writing.

I’ll admit it, I’ve been totally engrossed over the past week with the whole lonelygirl15 thing. And yes, I realize I’m about a month late to the party here… what can I say, I’m way out of touch in my old age. I name-dropped her the other day, but was too embarrassed to admit the sheer level of my interest by writing an actual paragraph about it. After watching all her videos, and Daniel’s responses, a week ago – I’m pretty convinced it’s some kind of orchestrated fake. Fake or not, it’s sure been getting attention lately – making the cover of the New York Times website is nothing to poop at.

But just what is lonelygirl15? A viral marketing campaign for the Thelemic Church of Satan? (Don’t worry, you’ll get it after you get rabid enough to start following the LG15 “dissection” threads out there and come to the “Crowley photo” bit.) Some NYU grad student’s thesis project in meta-trends and media manipulation (a theory straight from the pages of stereogum)? Teaser to get the MySpace crowd pre-hooked on a new MTV show? I love this kind of online mystery, in the same way I love the Lost Experience and once love the Smashing Pumpkins Machina mystery. Mixed-media clue-hunting and puzzle-solving have always been fun to me. Can’t wait to see how this one ends up.

Well, sorry I strayed from my normal high standards of academia to scrounge around in pop culture. I promise I’ll be back to my regularly scheduled programming just as soon as I finish reading my brother’s blog (he really has one, I found it last month – must run in the family) and watching the last lonelygirl15 video again to analyze how “professional” the lighting is.

And, as a parting shot – one more interesting post to relay: The Most Isolated Country In the World. Goodnight.

floor ice cream


Tuesday, and I’ve got a mixed bag for ya. Had a lot of time tonight… thought about breaking this up into multiple entries to ensure a wall-to-wall week, but sometimes it’s good to knock down the cobwebs, clear house so to speak. If you could try and not get too wrapped up in any one paragraph, it may help ease the awkward transitions betwixt varied topics. Y’know, I don’t normally comment on my own blogs, but I got a comment yesterday from an old friend. I love getting comments from people like this – makes my day, actually. Thanks for the comment Sheila, I’m sure Andy will be interested to hear you’re still dreaming about him. Oh, and maygsters yes it was your husband – and… 12:16am? Sheesh.

Making a bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream some time after dinner this evening, I spooned in a scoop and lost the bowl to the principle of physics known as “lever action.” The bowl tipped first up, then over, as it jumped off the kitchen counter and headed towards the floor. I watched in slow motion as it turned over, and braced my ears for the sound of shattering. When I heard nothing, I moved my eyes to the point of impact – thankfully the bowl had landed, upside down, on a pair of Sharaun’s flip-flops. The foam rubber providing a soft landing pad for the bowl, and the ice cream falling gently to the faux tile floor below. I did what any discerning ice cream fan would and snatched the scoops up back into the bowl. Floor ice cream is good.

Did some WordPress tinkering tonight. Added a plugin to give some simple Google Analytics reports in my admin panel (helpful quick-glance stats without having to login to stattraq), and added a “most viewed” plugin and report-out data to the sidebar. The most wanted is interesting, as it tracks which of sounds familiar’s posts are visited most often (you can see how many visitors per post by hovering over the links). Also took the opportunity of mucking with the sidebar to remove the long unused audioscrobbler/LastFM link – as I listen to nearly all my music on the iPod now and Winamp tracking just doesn’t make sense anymore. Anyway, just another step in the embetterment of the blog.

Every evening, I’ll usually do a quick scroll though the blog comments that Akisment has branded as spam – just on the off chance it’s ID’d something incorrectly (almost never happens anymore). Tonight, I found a series of spams that intrigued me. For some background, there’s an oft-used spam technique where the spammer uses copied-and-pasted strings of text from pieces of literature in their missive. Sometimes the spam comment is just a few sentences from a book, sometimes the spammer replaces random words in these strings with the spam subject – yielding funny results like this:

All this obfuscation is merely an attempt to bypass the Bayesian style spam filters which are so successful in weeding out the comment wheat from the comment chaff. The random string of words is meant to fool the filter into passing the comment as legitimate. It hardly ever works.

The comments that caught my eye tonight, though, were hawking the comment-spam staple Human Growth Hormone (HGH, for short), and read like this:

I just realized that the whole point of doing interviews was to promote this movie, so see it three times.

I have a lot of real life experience with hustling and doing stupid stuff.

I had had a troubled past, but like most rappers they go out and talk about it to kind of help their career.

I had been approached by a couple of people as far as making movies because of my success in music, but it was always to play the white rapper in Sister Act 2, or something that would just kind of put the final nail into my coffin of my career.

To me, those sounded like real-life quotes. Indeed, copying and pasting one into Google revealed that there were quotes from Mr. Mark Wahlberg. That’s the once-famous “rapper” Marky-Mark, for those who don’t remember. Back in the 90s, he could be seen curling cinderblocks and parading around in his underwear while trying his best to sell a menacing swagger. Now his quotes are being misappropriated to sell Human Growth Hormone. Apparently, this stuff is marketed as being able to help you burn fat, build muscle, and prolong your life. Doesn’t sound like something Marky-Mark would need at all, I can remember how in shape he is because of the chin-ups he did in the “Good Vibrations” video. I’m still waiting for the C&C Music Factory spam hawking cheap propecia, or, Things That Make You Grow Hair.

Tech related, in an attempt to go completely anonymous with regard to my online activities, I once again tried installing Tor the other night. I have to say, the installation procedure and GUI are much nicer than the last time I tried out the applications. Firefox and µTorrent were setup and using Tor/Privoxy in mere seconds. Only one problem, the dang thing still slows your connection down so much it’s just not worth it. Yeah, I’d like the anonymity, but not at the price of my connection… sorry.

Let’s do some music talk, eh? Eh.

I’ve been eating up PF’s new 200 Greatest Songs of the 1960s feature, these lists always give people a lot to talk about. So far, they’re doing pretty good by my judging – even throwing in some obscure tracks that I’ve not heard of. My goal now is to create an iPod playlist of these 200 tunes, just for the sake of doing it. I have a lot of them, and can “find” the rest with little effort I’m sure. Heck, I bet there’ll be a torrent of the whole thing up on the major trackers before too long – such is the age of digital media.

I loved these two posts, here and here, over at marathonpacks a while back. What a great idea. One of the bits that really intrigued me was that this guy actually took a college course called “The Music of the Beatles.” Man, I would’ve killed for that in place of COBOL or Statics or something equally as gay (no disrespect, it’s not my fault the word is slang for “dumb”). Anyway, when I first read them way back I decided I wanted to do my own list – but soon gave up. It’s too hard, and anyway, it’s already been done. Besides, I’ve already covered music that gives me chills – so I think I’m good.

This post is spiraling out of control fast… I’m not sure I can reign it in anymore… Maybe we should poke fun at some of the recent search strings leading people to sounds familiar? OK then, why the eff not… we’re already past the point of repair with this mess:

masturbate with prosthetic hooks
Y’arrgh… don’t ye be doin’ that.

andre the giant penis when erect
Who is researching this statistic?

Easy South Florida Crack Whores
Yeah, I’m sure there’s a list of these on the internet.

there is someone in this school is it a human what is it
This one just gives me chilling visions of someone squatting in an old abandoned school building. An old abandoned school building with an internet connection.

“dave is a pussy”
WTF?

how do birds do it
I’m not the only one.

That’s it, I’ve wrecked it. I’m outta here. Goodnight.

he that hath an ear


Welcome to Wednesday night. It’s getting harder and harder for me to remember what I’ve written about on this thing. Usually, before I set out to write something, I’ll do a quick search through the archives to see if perhaps I’ve covered it before. I’m sure, though, that if someone printed this rambling mess out and read through it cover-to-cover, they’d encounter a fair amount of repeat and perhaps even contradictory materials. It’s hard, you know, trying to keep track of it… all these words, all the arguably-wasted effort. That’s a good intro, eh? Good enough for me…

Motivated by nothing in particular, I spent some time tonight downloading MP3 versions of both the Bible and Quran. Put them on my iPod as audiobooks, which makes them “bookmarkable” (you can pick up listening where you last left off rather than beginning anew each time) and excludes from playback while shuffling (Matthew chapter 11 as a follow-on to some Kanye could really kill a party). Admittedly, I don’t plan on listening to these very often, but I do think it’s neat to have them at arm’s reach for curiosity’s sake. Used the Firefox DownThemAll extension to speed up the download process, grabbing all the files automagically (i.e. bandwidth-raping) rather than navigating through hundreds of individual links and pages.

As a pleasant second-order effect of my search, I was turned on to several great sites which offer completely free MP3 audiobooks. I think it’s awesome that I can download and listen to all sorts of material on the iPod, from the classics to philosophy. If you’re interested, Librivox and AudioBooksForFree.com both have nice-sized collections of completely free-to-download audiobooks (between the two sites there is nearly 1,000 works of literature available for listening). Most of the works available are older and are now public domain, but there are some original and newer titles as well.

In the process of writing the above paragraph, my mind once again drifted to being stranded on a desert island. How much more enjoyable would being stranded be if you had an iPod chock-full of music and books? Well, providing of course you first have health, food, and shelter. Anyway, the only problem here is the one of power… the iPod battery won’t last forever. But… any person who has irrational fantasies about one day becoming stranded on a desert island who’s worth their salt will have a solar-powered iPod charger with them at all times. All you need is the solar iPod charger, a solar AA battery charger, and a set of AA-powered portable iPod speakers – and you’re the life of the castaway party! Seriously, I’m thinking about getting that solar iPod charger just for the “cool” factor.

Keaton’s hair has almost all fallen out and is slowly being replaced with a new, blonder, quaff. Seeing this happen over the course of weeks tends to downplay how dramatic of a change it really is. In fact, I hadn’t realized just how much her hair had changed until I was browsing some old pictures last night. In an attempt to illustrate this, I GIMP’d Keaton’s hair from a picture taken at fifteen weeks onto the head of a picture taken last week. Roll your mouse over the image below to see the difference (allow a couple seconds load-time on the 1st rollover):

Wow! Goodnight.

lonely people and holiday inns


Fell of the wagon yesterday folks, what can I say – it happens. Had a good hump-day, did an incredible amount of work at work – so much so that I fear, should something new not land on my desk tomorrow, that I’ve finished a week’s worth of work in a single day. Curse my exceptional efficiency! But, instead of writing an intro here, I’ll default to what I wrote yesterday. Yeah… I did write, but it wasn’t worth posting… just an intro. So here it is, I can’t stand tossing out effort.

Tuesday night finds both Sharaun and I in the computer room, her having made me mute some newly downloaded prospective tunes I was auditioning so she can listen to some bootlegged Justin Timberlake show where he plays songs of his upcoming album. Sounds terrible, like it was recorded in the engine room of a ship with a Fisher Price microphone – but I suppose I’m one to talk. She’s loves some Tenderlegs… and I must admit he has a team of good producers, but I’m just not a fan. Anyway… let’s move along to what little else there is this evening, shall we?

Cleaning up around my desk today, I found a wad of Taiwanese and Chinese bills. I know the rough conversion rates in my head, seems I’d have just about $100 in USD if I were to exchange it. Made a mental note to remember to bring it next time I’m in an international airport, so I can trade-up for some real Christian money, not that heathen BS that’s worthless in God’s country. Seeing the money there got me thinking: I had decided not to exchange it upon leaving the Orient the last time because I figured I’d be back soon enough to warrant holding onto it. I mean, I was there so many times last year, wracking up 100,000+ flyer miles going back and forth, that I just assumed I’d be back before too long. Turns out that my baby-instigated travel moratorium has been more successful that I envisioned – and I haven’t been back in nearly a year. This doesn’t bother me, actually; I’d now much rather stay put. I’m slowly accepting my new role as house-bound parent.

Printed a new picture of Keaton today, hung it on the fabric walls of my cubicle with the others. I feel like I need new pictures every so often, as she’s changing so much right now. The only problem is that having all those images of her looking at me and smiling make me want to be here even less. It’s not quite as bad as if I had a picture of a beckoning Natalie Portman under the sheets in my bedroom, but it’s close. Maybe that was a bad comparison, since the reason for wanting to leave isn’t shared across the two scenarios, but it’s what came to mind.

Ended up reading a bunch of indymedia.org reports on the Israel/Lebanon/Hezbollah conflict/war today, spurred by a comment Thom Yorke made on Radiohead’s official messageboard. Now, I’ll be the first to admit that I actually stopped reading indymedia about six months ago. Overwhelmed by the limpwristed, milquetoast, liberalness of the articles; the tree-hugging, everthing’s-a-human-rights-violation dreamworld the authors presented was too over the top for even my strong liberal leanings. I mean, you can get a sense of what I mean from their “about” page mission-statement:

The Independent Media Center is a network of collectively run media outlets for the creation of radical, accurate, and passionate tellings of the truth. We work out of a love and inspiration for people who continue to work for a better world, despite corporate media’s distortions and unwillingness to cover the efforts to free humanity.

Sorry, I just puked up some chai tea and cous-cous.

I will admit, however, that I find it incredibly amazing to be able to read independent reports written from those sympathetic to the Lebanese side of the fighting really was interesting. Seems, rightfully so or not, that most of the international “mainstream” media reports are from Israel’s point of view. As thousands of refugees are being evacuated from Lebanon into southern Cyprus, the Cyprus “chapter” of indymedia is where you’ll find a lot of Lebanon-viewpoint reporting, and I’d recommend it just to get a different angle on things. For the interested, Thom’s comment pointed directly to this article (caution, link contains some graphic images) and urged Britain to “… throw Tony Blair out of office NOW.”

War is bad, missiles and death and broken families are bad; but we knew all that before reading the article, didn’t we? Let’s change subjects.

The iPod seemed to be stuck in some crazy Paul McCartney->Grateful Dead->Paul McCartney->Grateful Dead rut today; sometimes that “random” function is super fishy. Through some short-term data studying, I’ve decided I can get through about 100 songs a day on random. Of course, this includes a good deal of “I don’t feel like hearing this right now” skipping – but nevertheless, 100 songs/day isn’t a bad listening pace.

Goodnight people of the internets.

room to move


With the sickly-sweet scent of yesterday’s decaying epic still fresh in my nostrils, I sit back down to hammer out more words and poorly-punctuated sentences. I’ll keep doing it, you know, until something changes my habits so drastically it falls of my list of valued tasks or until I just don’t care anymore. But with the writing here consuming more and more of my thoughts (although, strangely enough, not my time), I don’t see that happening soon.

Sometime after we got back from Florida, my computer magically turned itself off overnight. Since then, it refused to turn back on… denying even my heartfelt urging. I left it this way for a while, not wanting to do computer work at home, and not really needing it to be operational for anything immediate. I could use my laptop to write blogs, and make Keaton videos, and everything else I do on a daily basis. Today, though, I got tired of not being able to access my RAID array. So, I set about debugging the issue. To make a long story short, I ended up at a bad power supply. Scrapped the power supply, and, while I was all up in the guys anyway, I went ahead and pulled the whole damn mess and migrated it all to a much roomier case. Sure, it sits some 3ft tall and sounds like a Beechcraft, but it’s working again. In fact, I’m typing this on it right now…

That’s it folks, spent most of the night eating burgers with friends – no time to write.

Goodnight.

to pork or not to pork


It’s Tuesday night and I hope you’ve got your readin’ specs handy.

I didn’t even want to finish writing today’s entry, wanted to just scrap it. But I put so much time into it tonight, I couldn’t bring myself to trash it. I think I just ended up getting run over by the snowball it became, and ended up uninterested. It started off as serious, turned into comedy, ended up introspective – and overall comes off as a jumbled mishmash. I read it a hundred times, rewrote it half that many, and reread it half that again. All that and it’s not even that good.

To make it all worse, something about this particular entry pissed off WordPress and made it glitchy. It started doing incomplete “save and continues,” which would set me back everything I’d just written and attempted to save. At first I thought it was a cache fluke, but it happened over and over. I finally resorted to writing this whole damn thing in EditPad and pasting it into the WordPress window at the end. While it’ll never be as “good” as I want it to, here ’tis.

Oh, and for the folks who could care less about my political views, I’ve tried to highlight what I consider to be the “funny” portions of the text. Now you can skip right to them and gloss over the other crap. Also, if you really don’t care about it at all, you can hop directly to the non-politics denouement by clicking here. Sigh… so much fanfare for so little substance… it’s sad. Let’s do this.

In one of US Senator Barack Obama’s latest podcast, he expresses his displeasure about the “padding” riding on the new Homeland Security Appropriations Bill. The bill provides, among other things (some of them noble), additional funding to certain locations in the US which may be at an extra risk of terrorist attack. As part of the decision process for who gets what monies, the text gives some guidance on how to tell which sites are “risk sites:”

In prioritizing among the applications … for such funds, the Secretary shall consider the relative threat, vulnerability, and consequences faced by an eligible metropolitan region … from a terrorist attack, including consideration of:

  • Whether there has been a prior terrorist attack in the region
  • Whether any part of the region has ever had a higher threat level under the Homeland Security Advisory System than the threat level for the United States as a whole
  • The degree of threat, vulnerability, and consequence to the region related to critical infrastructure or key assets
  • Whether the eligible region is located is at or near an international border
  • Whether the eligible region has a coastline bordering ocean or international waters

Sounds reasonable. If you’ve got some critical site in your area that, because of one of the reasons above, qualifies as “at risk” for a terrorists attack, you can get some federal dough to put to use stepping up protection of said site.

Obama’s problem with the bill, however, is that some of the “risk sites” seem sorta fishy. Sites that don’t quite seem to fit the bill of “national assets;” things like Wal Marts and “bourbon festivals.” If these “fluff” sites are indeed marked for the appropriation of funds, as Mr. Obama contends, I will join him in calling foul. How did Obama get this data, though? You won’t find any reference to specific sites which were allotted funding in the text of the bill – nor in the committee reports. Just what is Obama on about? I set out to try and research his porky misgivings.

Now, because I wanted to do this entry the most justice I could imagine, I consulted an “in” friend of mine with regard to the whole bill/appropriations/legislation part of it. Being a simple layperson, I often find it hard to find all the source information I want when trying to reason about politics. That makes it more difficult for me to state a solid opinion, as I often doubt even the sturdiest seeming “facts” when they come from potentially agenda-motivated sources. (Actually, this paragraph morphed into an entirely separate thought which I felt was strong enough to carry its own weight – so I tacked it onto the bottom of this entry as an “aside.” You can read it here.)

Anyway, that’s why I wanted to do some research on the whole “Obama’s critical of the HSD Appropriations bill” thing. So I shared my thoughts with my politico friend and both of us did some fact-tracking on the HSD-pork thing. She managed to locate this very interesting report on the Department of Homeland Security’s creation of a “national asset database.” The National Asset Database is a running list of places/gatherings/events in US states which are supposedly at a greater risk for terrorist attack than normal places. After browsing the report, it’s obvious that it’s most certainly the source of Obama’s criticism of the HSD Appropriations bill. In it, the HSD Inspector General himself found and listed some “questionable” risk-sites.

This report is surely what Obama’s on about.

Below I’ve pasted in tables taken directly from the HSD Inspector General’s report which list the “questionable” national assets (remember, “national assets” are eligible for federal funding to reduce terrorist threat as part of the appropriations bill):

pork1.jpg
pork2.jpg

Ladies and gentlemen, I submit that not a single Al Qaeda terrorist with any hopes of earning the respect of his terrorist buds or his forty virgins is going to give it all for Jihad by taking out Nix’s Check Cashing. Wanna really stick it to the Americans? Hit them in their dearest national interests? If you’re serious about terrorism, you’ll not pass up the opportunity to ricin the Mule Day Parade in the bustling metropolis that is the 3,575 person community of Bishop, CA. Nor will you let the beach at end of [a] street go un-dirty-bombed any longer. Yes, terrorists, these are truly our most treasured institutions and are, in fact, representative of America’s greatness. Just ask Old McDonald of Old McDonald’s Petting Zoo, he’ll tell you.

But c’mon folks… do we really want our anti-terrorism tax dollars going to make sure that the drunk shirtless crowd at the Crossburn County Fair doesn’t have to fear pipe bombs during the free admission four-surviving-members-of-Alabama show?

In reality, it turns out that not every “asset” in the database is really considered an “asset” at all – and the Department of Homeland Security is acknowledging as much with the report. Seems the HSD moved from a population-based funding model to one where it asked the states to come up with their own “asset” lists. These lists were then combined to create the national asset database – without editing. That is, the onus was on each state to provide a list of sites it deemed at-risk, and each state did so presumably using its own criteria. According to my sources, the feds (in this case HSD) know very well that there are some “fluff” assets in the database. In fact, there’s apparently a weighted system assigning “national” import to all the assets at the HSD level (unfortunately, I have no hard source here). It’s this weighting of state-submitted assets that is supposed to ensure that funding doesn’t go to inappropriate places. Meaning, in the weighted system, one Statue of Liberty may be worth 1,000 petting zoos, and it would therefore be prioritized first for funding.

In the end, however, the federal money doled out to the states is still distributed within the state at only the state’s discretion. The state gets money, the state divvies that money how it sees fit – the idea being that the state knows better the value of its assets to potential terrorists and will do right by its allotment. I have to wonder, however, if a state is unscrupulous enough to submit its check cashing and oil change shops to the fed as risk-assets, how ethically they’ll distribute the funds at the state level. I’m sure the federal government would say that state misuse of federal funds is a state problem, not a federal one. Maybe that’s true, but certainly unethical state requests for federal monies is a federal problem, or at least a shared state/fed issue, right?

Bottom line is, while the HSD Progress in Developing the National Asset Database report does show that some states are indeed submitting “fluff” at-risk locations in a bid for federal funding, that doesn’t necessarily mean those sites will actually end up with funding. Furthermore, if they do receive federal monies, the amounts will most certainly not be flatly proportional to more “realistic” national assets like Boston harbor or the White House. This is somewhat comforting, but does not entirely invalidate senator Obama’s issues with the appropriations as a whole. After all the research, I’d call Obama’s criticism somewhat misguided. Yes, some states are submitting requests for money that would amount to “pork,” but just because they request it doesn’t mean they’ll get it – and that certainly does not undo the entire Appropriations bill, no justify calling it “pork” on the whole. I can see where Sen. Obama is coming from, though.

I suppose the best a taxpayer can hope for is that the government keeps pork spending to a minimum, as it is likely a pipe dream to hope for a Utopian spending situation where no one pads their bottom lines. While thinking this over out loud today, my dear politico friend pointed me to a resource I never knew existed: The Citizens Against Government Waste’s Pig Book. A catalog of pork spending, it lists some of the more glaring pork-barrel projects receiving federal funding. For the fiscal year 2005, for instance, the CAGW Pig Book identified 27.3 billion dollars as “pork.” Comparing this to the national budget, one can arrive at the rough conclusion that pork payouts account for about ~3% of the government’s discretionary spending (based on 2005). Going back to my original statement that one can at best hope for minimized governmental pork-barreling, I’d say this is probably a live-able amount. I don’t have to like it, and it saddens me to know we have unethical folks in positions of power who are “robbing” their own citizens/constituents, I guess it’s relatively small comparatively.

Whew, I think that wraps up the whole Obama/HSD/evil-government thing. Enough dreck for you? Yeah… I thought so. I promise not to get fevered like that for a while, but sometimes the writing takes off and I have to let it go. Turns out I’m about a week late to this story anyway… but better late than never, right?


An aside:

This is why I’m often loth to take black and white sides on political issues. This fear of not being educated enough, or being fooled by fake facts. This general mistrust of politicians and things they speak as gospel makes it hard for me to draw a line for myself on issues. I’m always wondering, “What if that’s not true,” and, “Maybe if I just do more research, my mind would change.” Thing is, I have something of a self-doubt problem when it comes to politics. In some strange way I think of myself as too far removed from the reality of it to properly understand it, and that drives me to be almost too accepting of opposing viewpoints. I do, however, have a level of education or comfort that I use to form an opinion. Once I’ve reached that level, I’m comfortable allying myself with a cause or anti-cause, as the case may be. I think this is not that uncommon of an issue with today’s youth and politics. I’ve written about it before, but it’s my opinion that that built-in doubt is a real hindrance to getting the new generation involved in government.

I’m not alone either, and there’s even data to backup my governmental mistrust. In a 1996 study by The Washington Post, Harvard University and the Kaiser Family Foundation (which was supplemented by two focus groups, interviews and conversations with Americans around the country, as well as with political scientists and other experts), it was reported that:

In 1964, three in four Americans trusted the federal government all or most of the time, a view shared by one in four persons today…

This collapse of trust in human nature has fueled the erosion of trust in government and virtually every other institution, the survey found. Mistrustful Americans repeatedly expressed far less confidence in the federal government, the military, the Supreme Court, Congress and the Clinton administration than the dwindling numbers of Americans who were more upbeat about human nature.

Government also suffers from a lack of public confidence because of other national discontents brought about by the perceived failure of government to deal with the country’s biggest problems, the survey found. Fear of crime, economic insecurity and pessimism about the lives of future generations all have separately added to the belief that government either is making things worse or is incapable of making them better.

Interesting, eh? Seems we’ve become a nation of the dubious; a wary, untrusting bunch who think everyone’s a potential enemy. While I don’t personally feel a greater sense of mistrust for humanity as a whole (on the contrary, I have a firm belief that people are, by nature, “good”), my feelings do align to this model for the most part when it comes to politicians. I don’t flat-out mistrust everyone in government, but I do feel the need to fact-check them moreso than, say, a stranger relating something to me on a train. I just do. You can read the whole six article series I grabbed the above survey info from here.

And now we’re done with this.



If you guys know Sharaun at all, you know she’s about the luckiest person in the world when she puts her mind to it. Seems she heard on the radio she could win tickets to a concert by being a certain caller. What’s more, by winning the concert tickets she’d be eligible to win a new Ford Mustang in an on-stage drawing at the show itself. It was yesterday at lunch she told me she was going to win tickets. Today at 3pm she called me to tell me she’d won them. I’m half believing she’ll actually win the dang Mustang at this point… I need to get that girl pickin’ lottery numbers, stat.

In closing: For a while now, I’ve been noticing that I’ve begun to mark the passage of days by my writing here on sounds familiar. Sounds obsessive, I know, but it’s true. The whole blogging process has become so ingrained as habit into my brain that I think of days as entries. Monday was the Keaton video, last week was stem cells, sports, and Halloween. When I think back on the week, I think first of what I wrote about. On the way home from work I think about what I’m going to write that night; on the way into work I think about what someone may read that morning. This thing has become nothing short of an obsession.

Thanks for seeing this one through with me, folks. Goodnight.