no cuts, no butts

Splash.
More people than all those that died in the the Vietnam war have died as a result of this typhoon. I was thinking about that today as I was in line buying cat litter at Costco. The lines were ridiculously long, and one woman “excused me” past my cart and met her husband at the front of the line next to me with a couple last-minute items. As she pushed her cart between the two lines and unloaded her items onto the conveyor belt, an old man in a long coat and hat with a feather began to rumble. His voice was deep, gravelly, and surprisingly powerful given his age – I remember thinking it actually reminded me a lot of my own grandfather’s voice.

“Hey,” he bellowed, “What’s all this crowding at the front of the line?!” “Why does she get to go in front of all us?” The woman’s husband turned and said, “She’s my wife sir,” at the same time the woman was saying, “He’s my husband, we’re one family.” The old man kept hollering about “cutting in line” and “we’ll all be here for god-damned ever if they let everyone cut.” Finally, the woman’s husband turned in line and said, simply, “Merry Christmas, sir.” It was the perfect response to the situation, and it made me smile. The old man was furious, cursing and shaking his head, but he managed a more sheepish than powerful, “Happy New Year,” as an attempt at an equally witty response.

Prior to the exchange, I had been thinking about the typhoon… and the more than one-hundred thousand people that died. It just struck me how mad this old man was because the lines at the local warehouse food-store aplenty are too long and he’ll have to wait 10min to spend his money on gallon jugs of liquor, fresh-ground gourmet coffee, and 3lbs bags of luncheon meat. Not that I’m on the next Red Cross plane to Phuket to help with the relief efforts or anything, but hey anyone can talk big on the internet.

Last night it was rainy and windy in Northern California. I turned in around 1am, and listening to the wind blow the rain against the windows… I imagined I was on ship at sea. In the old times, mind you. Y’know… some kind of “galleon” or end-of-Goonies-lookin’ pirate ship. Perhaps under sail in the dark of night… headed towards some island to trade silk for molasses, or gold for salt, or something. Maybe running rum from the East Indies to the colonists who aren’t to prudent to party, or skirting the shoals of Southern Africa en-route to a spice dealer in India.

I didn’t write yesterday because I was at Anthony’s doing an all-day Lord of the Rings marathon. While I know it’s extremely D&D nerdy, we queued up all three extended edition DVD sets, which, at two discs and several hours each, put us firmly entrenched in the world of Middle Earth for eleven hours. We came up for air every three hours or something (and by air, I mean pizza), but other than that it was a solid loaf-a-thon. A good way to waste a day of vacation, and since it was raining I didn’t miss out on working in the yard (which was the real goal of this week off).

OK, done.

the donner party got nuthin’ on us

Snowed in.
Well, we made it home… but it was no pleasant journey. Leaving Oregon around 10:30am, I pegged us to pull into the driveway at home sometime around 8pm-9pm that evening. Little did we know (no, really, we knew a little since we checked the website) that we’d be caught in a huge freakin’ snowstorm through the mountains into California. Fearing a bad trip in the snow, we stopped right before the mountains and ate a late lunch. We even stocked up on “provisions” (soda and chips) in case the trip over the passes was long. We hit the first hint of snow a mere 20min later somewhere south of Ashland.

Half an hour later we were at a dead stop on I5, in park on the freeway… nothing but taillights and headlights stretching to eternity in front of and behind us. We remained parked on the freeway for over an hour, watching the snow fall outside and watching Napoleon Dynamite on the laptop inside. When we finally started creeping along, it was a mess. The snow had erased the lanes on the road, so people were just following each other single-file, trying to stay in the established ruts from the cars before them. After an hour so so driving like this and debating whether or not to put on the snow chains… Ben and I broke down and did it. Although I’ve owned chains for several years now, I’ve never actually had to use them. So I was off to the side of the road, snow raining down onto my Bernie Mac raincoat, huddled around my taillight trying to read the instructions. After some head-scratching, we managed to get the chains attached and merge back into the 10mph single-lane traffic. Another mile or so and we hit the source of the delay, the chain-check, no one got through without chains or 4WD and snow tires.

After getting past the chain-check, it was every man for himself on the road. The traffic thinned out considerably and that meant the snow had more time to accumulate on the road with no cars to melt it down. Driving 30mph tops, I made my way through another 40 miles of blizzard-like conditions. Trying to keep the windshield from icing and trying to keep a safe distance from other vehicles, it was a stress-test for sure. We finally rolled out of the mountains (and snow) some five hours after we’d gone in. Exhausted and spent from driving, I handed the duties over to Ben after a midnight cheeseburger (animal style) at In-N-Out. Luckily, Ben ferried us home safely through the rain that the snow had turned into… and we finally collapsed into bed around 3:30am this morning. What a trip.

Now it’s Monday, and a gloomy and wet one at that. Sharaun and I rolled out of bed around 11:30am, readied for the day, and just got back from a nice lunch at the indian buffet. And while she decided to spend the day shopping, I’ve chosen to sit here on this couch and watch the accumulation of TiVo’d Twilight Zone episodes. I’m supposed to be taking the week off, at least that’s what I had planned. However, I feel really strange about this one… I dunno. I mean, I have this feeling like I should be there… like it’s not an “official” vacation or something. Work seems to be pulling me in, making me feel guilty for not being there. I think perhaps it’s because I did a poor job “advertising” that I’d be on vacation, like I usually do. So it makes me feel like I’m somehow shirking my duties or something. I’m hoping the feeling goes away…

Well now… until next time.

can’t put brown down

Wisemen... not wiseguys.
Merry Chrimma all! It’s that time of year for family and wrapping paper and ham and making the universal mistake of buying sweet potatoes for the sweet potato casserole instead of the required yams. Actually, the term “sweet potato” in the casserole’s name is most accurate. If you do your research, the things that stores commonly sell as “yams” are really a type of sweet potato (there are two varieties, the whiter-fleshed kind which the stores accurately call “sweet potatoes,” and the orange-fleshed kind which stores wrongly label as “yams”). In fact, true yams aren’t potatoes at all, they’re roots. I think because so many people refer to the orange sweet potatoes as yams, the stores must do it too. Either way, Sharaun makes this awesome casserole every year – so we’ve learned the difference the hard way. However, since mom and dad did the shopping this year before we got here – we ended up with the wrong thing again. Damn you, you confusing sweet poyamoes, yamatoes, potams… Wait, can I say “damn” on Christmas?

The non-sweet potato part of Christmas went swimmingly though, the gifts were a’plenty, a’thoughtful, and pretty a’awesome. I got some clothes, new shoes, and even a laser-guided parking system so I can accurately park my truck in the garage to within inches. Not to mention a two-year subscription to Maxim, a razor, socks, underwear (yes, with iron-ons), and some of the little things I always enjoy: silly putty, a Duncan yo-yo (butterfly style, bitch), and a Wacky Wall Walker. Can I say “bitch” on Christmas? Damn. Sharaun seems to like her gifts a lot, I think I did a better-than-usual job of buying this year (thanks Kristi) – and the list she gave me was only part of the reason. Even mom and dad made out pretty well I think. We all had a fine time tearing into gifts and posing for pictures with the cast-aside bows on our heads. As a plus, my folks really seem to dig the copy of Brian Wilson’s SMiLE I got ’em… good music.

Around noon yesterday, while sitting on the couch at my folks house having just finished Christmasing up the blog, I spied a copy of The Da Vinci Code on my parents’ bookcase. Over the years, so many people have told me I would like this book – based on my existing interest in theology, alchemy, Masonry, Illuminati, and countless other things that end in the “ee” sound. With nothing much to do on Christmas eve, I decided to give it a go. Before I knew it, it was dinner time and I was already halfway through the book. Already being familiar with some of the history featured in the book (the Templars, the canonization of the Bible, the Gnostic gospels, etc.), I found it fascinating. Eventually, it was 11pm and I had under a 100 pages to go. I made the call to finish the book that night, and turned the last page around 12:30am. It was a good book, the religious history and theory and code-crap talk right to the guy in me who voraciously read The Sacred Mushroom and the Cross.

With the passing of Christmas day, our short vacation in Oregon is over – and we hit the road again tomorrow to head back down into sunny, and almost inconceivably less-liberal than here, California. Whereas the Gods smiled on our journey north and did not hamper us with snow, it seems we must have angered them over our short stay, and they plan to blanket the mountain passes with white stuff. I’m totally cool, I got the snow chains (never used ’em, and only the slightest idea how to put ’em on), and I’ve been practicing driving on ice. Not really, I’ve never driven in real snow or anything. Either way, I know tomorrow means another ten hours on the road… and perhaps even another buffet and embarrassingly-awful cabaret show, who knows.

Well folks, I think that’s my entry for the day – time to Christmarelax instead of writing. Suzy’s Christmas entries were particularly good today, I’d recommend them if you’re hard up for more blog-reading on this, the day of Christ’s birth. Since I don’t normally write on the weekend, I think I’ll take tomorrow off (convenient, since we’ll be on the road all day long). Until Monday, safe and back at home…

Merry Christmas!

santa’s coming

I don't care what you celebrate.
Christmas Eve morning, I read President Bush’s Christmas message in the paper today… full of hope and the Lord and whatnot. I’m fresh and clean out of the shower, in some dark jeans that fit well but are of course too long in the leg and a brown sweater in response to the cold, gloomy Oregon weather. We’re waiting on some of my family’s Oregonian kin to roll by for some Christmas drinks and holiday cheer (around Christmas, we drink a drink called Tom ‘n’ Jerry in our family, have as long as I can remember). It should be fun, one of those family get-together things with stories and a few awkward silences. Ahhh… holidays.

I started out writing, but decided to do a Christmas-themed template for the blog instead… which took most of my time (holiday logo courtesy of the GIMP2.2). I wanted to add some snow-caps to the text boxes, but gave up because I suck at art. Owell, at least the red and green thing seem somewhat in the spirit. It’s the blog’s way of saying Merry Christmas to you, all its readers (even the closet readers).

Today we decided to do nothing. The main motivation, other than kinda just wanting to do nothing, was to stay out of the holiday traffic. The last thing I want to do right now is go out, the streets were bad enough yesterday. And besides, it’s nice and warm and quiet in here and I can see the grey skies from the windows, so I’m not missing much in the way of people and horns and cold air. Mom’s in the kitchen cooking, dad’s reading a book, and Sharaun went out to pick up some last-minute stocking stuffers. It’s nice because it smells like cooking in here, and I’m comfy on the couch drinking a beer.

I think I’m done writing for today… I mean, if I do write more, I’ll just make it tomorrow’s post. Until then, then.

i don’t want to watch

Open road.
Vacation. Off to an “iffy” start though, as vacation’s defined at least. I’ve got two meetings to attend tomorrow (via cellphone, of course), so I won’t get that whole separation-from-work vibe until sometime well along the road north. It’s OK, I can deal with it I suppose. Tonight we got together to do another mini gift-exchange with friends, and when Ben ended up getting Napoleon Dynamite in said exchange – Suzy and he stayed over to watch it with the Mrs. and I. Man… what a great movie, right up my alley in terms of disjointed, sometimes squirmy, humor. I can’t wait to see it again. After that Sharaun and I were left to prepare for the trip: packing clothes, packing up gifts (we’re exchanging up there), and readying other bidness. This is the first chance I’ve had to write, and it’s nearly midnight…

The first real porno I ever saw was called I Want to Watch; I was in 9th or 10th grade. I was at a friend’s house hanging out on the weekend, and the subject came up. He said he had a real porno, that he’d borrowed from another kid we knew. Of course, once this info was out of the bag – there was nothing to do but watch the tape. There was no jacket, just an old VHS tape with a cheap white label. The video was old, at the time I pegged it for early 80s by the feathered hair and clothes strewn about the floor. The movie was light on plot (I guess that’s not really fair, considering it was porn). Anyway, the premise was that there were four sex scenes, and in each one there was someone “watching” but not participating. The watcher was always a female, and was perennially masturbating. Somehow, this tape was passed down to me. I kept it locked in a briefcase in my closet (why I had a briefcase, I have no idea). I don’t know where the tape is now. Perhaps, unbeknownst to me, the cycle began anew and some teenagers are getting their first look at the early 80s coke-fueled porn industry, and all the unkempt body hair it has to offer. I can only hope. Oh, and if you somehow have my tape – the 4th scene is the best.

Well, it’s Wednesday morning, my 8am meeting is over, and I’m officially on vacation. At least… until I have to call into my 10am meeting. Hoorah. I’m all packed and the bags are by the door, ready for Ben to come by and load up before we head out for a pre-road-trip breakfast. Then we run some small errands, and finally pick Sharaun up around 1pm. Then the tires hit I5 and don’t stop for 9hrs.

And with that, I’m done. I’ll write when I can.

b-a-n-a-n-a-s

Dag yo, messy.
A cool and sunny Sunday afternoon; “crisp” even, although I’m unsure how that adjective relates to weather. The heat has been on now for almost a month, keeping the house a comfortable 70° for us warm-blooded folks. The sensation of being warm and “safe” inside a house while still being able to see the potentially unfriendly elements outside has always appealed to me. Like being in a tent in the rain, or sitting in a screened-in porch in Florida while a thunderstorm rages around you. Shelter; caves, Gilligan’s Island huts, Abe Lincoln log-cabins, whatever… it’s a known obsession of mine.

Today I finally broke down and installed SuSE Linux 9.2 as a dual-boot on my home machine. My thought was, since I’ve abandoned most of my non-freeware software on Windows, maybe this time the big “switch” would be easier. I’ve tried Linux before, but haven’t ever been able to stick with it. I always get frustrated and got back to Windows because I can’t do some ridiculously simple thing like change the screen resolution. This time though, I’m hoping the dual-boot scenario might help “ease” me into the switch. Ideally I’d love to run a completely no-cost system, but I guess time will tell. Right now, I’m happy because I’m trying it out, but I’m still not sure if I’ll stick with it. I mean, as it is now… it won’t see my RAID array and despite recognizing my sound card, I got no sound. Whatever.

Foggy this morning, the ground’s wet with it and the Christmas lights on the house won’t stay on for 30sec before tripping the GFCI circuit. This weekend was ultimate low-key for me, although we did host a meal and gift-exchange thing on Saturday night, which involved beers and champagne (toasting Suzy’s new job) and darts. I put on the Charlie Brown Christmas Special CD, what I consider to be the penultimate embodiment of Christmas music, jazzy and warm. Then we all played “adult” and sat around to open presents from each other. The rest of the weekend though, I sat around and did absolutely nothing. I practiced my dart throwing for a bout an hour on Sunday, watched some old Twilight Zone episodes, and did the dishes. The shit is bananas people, b-a-n-a-n-a-s.

Wednesday we set out on our trek to Oregon, I need to get the tires rotated and oil changed in prep for the journey. Checking this awesome page, the I5 pass into Oregon looks like it’s snow-free (click the little cameras for live shots of the road… the internet rocks). That’s not to say it may not snow between now and then, but at least we know it’s not snowed under now. I’m kinda looking forward to the drive, even thought it’ll be looong… but I kinda enjoy road-tripping, especially w/friends and an ample supply of good tunes.

That’s all for today, Dave out.

if Good Morning America is any indication

No idea.
Guys, I don’t know what happened… I thought I missed one day of writing this week, but it turns out I completely missed two, count ’em, two days. Really, something happened to me, because I don’t even remember not writing on Monday night. I remember not writing last night (Tuesday), but that’s about it. Contrary to what my lack of posts may indicate, I have been writing this week – fragments of stuff not good enough to fill out an entire post… so I’m gonna do one of those “flush” entries where I get rid of a backlog of stuff.

7am on Wednesday morning, somehow ended up on the plus-side of time this morning… I dunno, got ready fast today or something. So I sat down and flipped on Good Morning America to see what’s happening in the world. Apparently, Laci Peterson is happening in the world… and is maybe the only thing happening in the world, if Good Morning America is any indication.

For the past couple days, I’ve been coming home for lunch and playing darts with friends. Anthony and I broke in the new dartboard and dart sets on Monday, which involved me playing my first ever “real” game of darts (y’know, not just the “hit the bullseye” version). While playing, I realized darts could be a pretty fun way to kill some time. Get some people over, have some beers, listen to some tunes, and play some darts. In fact, maybe coming home for lunch and drinking some beers and playing darts would be awesome too. Whatever.

Looks like I’ll be spending nearly a month in Taiwan come late February. I have mixed feelings about an extended stay… my longest trip so far has been two weeks, and I was more than ready to head home near the end. I think this stay will be somewhere between three weeks and a month. The only good part about it is getting to stay in that swank high-roller hotel for that long. I can look forward to an entire month of late-night bloody marys at the bar and lonely nights on fluffy sheets. Other people I work with will be coming and going over the time I’ll be there, so at least I’ll have that. So if anyone wants to make their way to Taipei in March, you can have the floor in the hotel room.

Saw a post on /. the other day about open-source GPL schematic capture and board layout software. It may seem nerdy, but it’s what I do. It’s so awesome that you can get free software to do most everything… even the things you do every day at work… bleh.

I noticed from my referrer logs that Suzy linked me on her “friends” page, many thanks. And now it’s time to head to bed, I’m up early to deliver friends to the airport. Sorry for the crap entry. Goodnight.