as many a young lad do become


Good evening folks, and a happy Tuesday to ya. T’was a rare humid day here in Northern California, somewhat cloudy by late afternoon and evening threatening rain. But, we got no rain. Came to the conclusion today that I need a bigger iPod. Or, alternately, another iPod altogether on which I can store only certain items – I’m thinking Beatles bootlegs, for instance, or bootlegs and live-albums in general. My 60GB just ain’t getting it done anymore…

When I was a young lad, somewhere around the tender age of twelve or thirteen, I became quite enamored, as many a young lad do become, with the beauty of the female form. And, while this blossoming interest in all things woman was less of something scholarly or noble, and more of something perverse and puberty-driven, my motivations didn’t provide with my enough shame to want to hide my burgeoning libido. So, I took the conspicuous approach – and plastered my pre-teen lair with racy imagery. Being a kid, however, and still having parents – I couldn’t easily cover my walls with the likes of Playboy centerfolds… I instead had to go with what I could get. And, that, my friends, is how the small alcove on the top bunk where I spent my nights became wallpapered with images cut deftly from the JC Penny catalog. That’s right, I had underwear models, swimsuit models, and the like, all taped from top-to-bottom in some crazy collage of unintentional soft-porn.

I can remember flipping to the middle of the thick color catalog, to the index, and looking for the keywords which would become my new decorations: “bra,” “bikinis,” “panties.” At the time, I don’t know why I wasn’t more embarrassed by my scantily-clad homemade pinups – it’s terribly humiliating to think back on now, and I can remember being somewhat disgusted with myself the day I tore it all down and replaced it with an equally idolatrous picture-collage of black-and-white images of the Beatles I’d clipped from a public library book (without regard, I might add, for others who may have one day checked out said book). But, at the time, I remember carefully tracing the edges of the models with the scissors, being careful not to shear off any boob- or butt-profile in doing so. What a disgusting, and outwardly needy-seeming, thing to do, right? What was wrong with me?

Finally, in the you-thought-you’d-never-see-the-day department: Keaton is, as suddenly as of just this morning, cutting her top two front teeth. Yes, that’s right. This near 17-month old baby of only two teeth is finally giving her bottom two buckies a couple buddies to hang out with. Her sleeping tonight has been fitful, she wakes often crying and we go in to put some numbing stuff on them. Funny that most parents have probably already experienced this by 17 months, but not us. Her teeth are just slow starters, I suppose. I’ll post some pictures of her with her shiny new top-fronts as soon as they’re nice and erupted.

Goodnight.

family came to town


Hey there folks, remember this blog thing here on the internet where I used to write? I didn’t give up on it, or anything, I just took a nice break from writing, coincident with the vacation I took as family came to town. And, after a week-long hiatus from blogging, I must say I feel refreshed and happy for staying away briefly.
My only regret?: It’s now Sunday night and tomorrow I return to work. My only solace?: Only six more weeks until I’m off for two months… just counting down now.

We’re fresh off a two-night camping trip to one of our favorite local spots where, for the first time, we brought some rafts to play on the river we pitch tents alongside. I love the campsite so much, it feels remote, but is actually within an hour of civilization – and every time we go there I feel ultimately relaxed and taken-away. However, in all the times we’ve been there, we’ve never really played in the river much, aside from an occasional short swim in the frigid waters. This time, though, I had a blast rafting up and down the quarter-mile stretch of river that flanks the campgrounds, braving some easy “rapids” and simply floating around with the bottom half of a Newcastle cooling in the snowmelt waters.

Keaton seemed to enjoy herself too, and didn’t appear to mind the sand in her diaper or the thrice-daily smearings-on of SPF 45 sunblock at daddy’s less-than-gentle hands. She slept fairly well in the tent and liked hanging out by the water’s edge. I told Sharaun that my only wish would be that she were a little more on the “adventurous” side. Y’know, wanting to run down hills or venture off into the water with dad and stuff. But, I suppose I love her cautious guarded personality as much as I do every little bit of her, so no real complaints. Besides, her willingness to simply sit on a lap and enjoy some quiet time is kinda nice.

Oh, and, as a pleasant byproduct to telling the story of my time in the cold river – I think I’m ready to finally say that I’m “over” my cold-induced urticaria. I spent all weekend soaking in those freezing waters with nary an itch, hive, nor anaphylactic fit. The Lord be praised, I’ve been healed.

I’m gonna close this down now, but I’ll be back again tomorrow and hopefully onto my regular posting schedule this week. Also, I promise this week will see the “half-best of” list published… as it’s super behind right now. Goodnight folks.

out loud regardless


Tonight I can’t seem to get enough to eat. We got home from dropping off Sharaun’s folks at the airport and I played with Keaton for twenty minutes before putting her to bed, Sharaun split right away for her volleyball game. And, even though we’d had dinner shortly before leaving for the airport, I came home and ate a heaping bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios (in whole milk – I’ve become addicted to its creamy sweetness ever since we’ve started keeping it in the fridge as part of Keaton’s diet). After the Cheerios, I finished off the leavings in a bag of Gardetto’s snack mix we’d taken down to the cabin with us last week. After the Cheerios and the Gardettos, I chewed a couple pulls of jerky, the sweet-hot and peppered kind; also obtained on that trip down south for the Fourth.

And now I sit here, listening to the new Animal Collective album for what must be the seven-billionth time this week (I’m not getting into it now, but let’s just say this album is waay radder than the stuff which spurred me to write this). Anyway – I think I’ve eaten enough now, and it’s time to burn some calories on the keys.

I love my time alone like this. I think it’s made even more important in this particular instance because we’ve had company the past week. Not that I didn’t enjoy our time together with family, it’s just nice to sometimes have the run of the castle. I can put on music at my preferred volume (the volume Sharaun calls, “Turn that crap down! How can you think that guys whiny voice sounds good on top of all that treble?”), I can eat sweet and salty snacks, and I can fart out loud (OK, I fart out loud regardless… don’t hate). It was kinda cloudy this afternoon, and I think I even saw a couple raindrops manifest themselves – which made it cool enough for me to open the windows when I got home: another bonus of my alone-time, the fresh air. Don’t ever let the opportunity to sneak away for some “you time” get away from you, folks. And I’m not even talking about masturbation (although that’s probably up there on the list); I’m just talking about good ‘ol leave-me-alone with my thoughts time. Get it.

In anticipation of my near four hours of travel time tomorrow (the airport time, the in-flight time, and the public transpo time from the airport to the Oregon sawmill), and, as a first for me, I’ve loaded up my iPod with some movies. I’ve got Al Gore’s An Inconvenient Truth (still haven’t seen it), the BBC’s controversial rebuttal The Great Global Warming Swindle, and Michael Moore’s newest, Sicko. A regular card-carrying Sierra Club Democrat’s playlist, I reckon. I’m looking forward to seeing them all, but I think I’ll begin with Sicko, mainly do to the insane amount of press it’s been getting lately all about the internets. I never figured myself as someone who’d watch movies on his iPod, that tiny screen always seemed a roadblock to my enjoyment. But after a test with some short clips I found it quite passable and somewhat convenient. I’m gonna need a bigger iPod…

Before I go, one last little morsel; indulge me: I’ve written several times about the writings of this writer, but I found this semi-recent blog entry of his simply perfect, as blogging goes, by my standards, at least, or something. Oh to write like that.

Well, as much as I wanted to mow the lawn and get a haircut before leaving for Oregon – it just ain’t gonna happen. Until tomorrow then, when I should have ample time to write – Goodnight.

iPhone. Ron Paul. Bush. Iraq.

pretending to remember


Happy Monday night to you this Tuesday morning, my friends. Tomorrow is my this week’s Friday, as after that I’m away from the sawmill for a full seven days. Seven days, folks. Then it’s up to Oregon for some displaced work (y’know, work away from your day-to-day desk always feels different). After that, I have one single, solitary, lone-wolf day back in the office before I’m off for yet another week. It’s going to be a fast and spotty July. And, when I get back on the 23rd, it’ll be a mere month or so away from the beginning of my sabbatical. Two. Months. Vacation. ‘Nuff said. Let’s get this over with.

Remember way back when I was all obsessed with the bermudagrass infestation in my lawn? I went out and bought some serious poison, which I applied twice with some success and then didn’t follow up with the prescribed regimen and thus wrecked any small progress I made, ‘member? Anyway, I shoulda stuck with the regimen, y’all… I really shoulda. My lawn is at least 60% bermuda these days… I swear. Those little tendrils snake their way out of the boundaries of the lawn and onto the bare concrete of the driveway and sidewalks, where they stand out like blinking neon: “Dave got weeds.”

The other morning on the way to work, I came up with a novel new game to play while alone in the car. Speaking imaginary eulogies for those I know; practicing, out loud, the from-the-heart tributes I’d give in their honor at their funerals. May seem macabre, but I got a lot of enjoyment out trying to condense the essence of those I know down into small little speeches. I would revise my speech as I went, looking for honest, impactful, “real” things to say. It works best for those I know best, of course – easier to talk honestly about someone you understand (or think you do). This isn’t to say I want anyone I pretended-to-remember to actually slip this mortal coil, I guess I just enjoy hearing myself talk.

Goodnight.

global… or something


Today I sent out a pretty informal e-mail to a group of friends, inviting them to join Sharaun and her sister and brother-in-law and I for a weekend camping trip later this month. One of the responses I got was from a friend of ours who works for a major shipping company. Unfortunately, he relayed, the weekend I had chosen was the very weekend that the new, and presumably series-ending, Harry Potter book is released. Due to this, he had to work Saturday and would not be able to make it.

It struck me, then, how things effect other things. Because a British author wrote a wildly popular series of young-adult novels, demand for the final installment is unprecedented. This means that a friend of mine here in Northern California has to pull extra hours to manage the glut of book shipments to various outlets, presumably for both one-off private and bulk point-of-sale. Funny how that whole cause-and-effect things works, and how second, third, and even latter-order effects impact the daily routines of regular peoples I know. Kinda cool… global… or something.

We got together with some friends tonight for a leisurely walk over to the local ice cream parlour and some post-ice cream beers. At some point, Kerry, one of said friends, mentioned that she’d read the blog today (which is, as you read this, yesterday’s entry here) – and had a suggestion for my ongoing problem with birds in my garden. Backing up, I came home today to find two more tomatoes ruined – cherry this time, something they’ve previously not gone after. You can see them as the inline-image associated with this post. Anyway, Kerry suggested I offer the birds an alternative – an actual bird-food alternative. Now, I can immediately see this in two lights: 1) Having “real” bird food out for these beasts may sate them and ultimately keep them from my fruit, or, 2) Having “real” bird food out may invite even more hungry beasts into the yard – making me a regular avian all-you-can-eat buffet.

In the end, I decided to go ahead and give it a shot – as it seemed infinitely more implementable, not to mention humane, than my impulse-idea: A massively-charged “bird zapper” designed in the spirit of a “bug light.” Something that would find me coming home to piles of dead birds heaped around my planter box, all killed instantly the moment the dared flutter near my yummy tomatoes. I had also seriously planned to wall the entire thing via with some large-scale fine mesh box, but wasn’t going to be able to expend the time and effort until this weekend – which, at the current bird loss-rate, would cost me four to six more pieces of fruit. So, anyway, I’ll hang the seed-block thing early tomorrow morning… and see what happens. Wish me luck.

Goodnight.

bloggin’ on the move


Happy Tuesday folks, I’m just gonna get right into it.

Blogging from among the masses in the general admission section on the lawn at the Gwen Stefani show (from my phone, no less).

The youth is in full “social gathering” regalia, young men with their baseball caps twisted sideways and half-cocked over tightly freshened-up crew-cuts, young ladies squeezed into skin-tight bits of cloth they’re trying to pass as clothes. Oh, it’s on (it’s not really “on,” I actually feel pretty old, to tell the truth).

I’m pretty much transfixed watching the chaperoning moms, the way they nonchalantly watch their pre-teen daughters “wind and grind.” I can’t tell if they’re really good at pretending not to care, all the while squirming on the inside, or if they truly don’t mind the statutory-inviting junior-stripper antics. Tell you what though, some of these girls are dancing like they have body parts that they haven’t even grown yet. Were we this bad when we were kids?

I’m actually petty amazed I’m able to blog from my phone right now; believe it or not, it’s the first time I’ve ever done it. This new BlackBerry predictive text keyboard is pretty functional, as should be evidenced by the fact that I totally wasted time typing about typing. Anyway, moving on.

Y’know, being here, seeing these kids, and, more importantly seeing these adults doing their best to look like kids, I’m actually happy to be all ‘grow’d up.” I’d hate to be “that guy:” Forty-something years old, all tatted up wearing a 13lbs silver herring-bone chain with spiked bleached-blonde hair ala “I’m thirteen and I just discovered Sid Vicious.” Hey, if I’m ever that guy, sit me down and lay it on me, OK? (The truth that is, lay the truth on me, OK?)

Well, the it’s nigh on midnight and we’re on our way home. The battery on this thing is almost gone, and I’m fresh out of things to say anyway. I know I’m totally gonna be disappointed with the length of this post when I see it on a real screen, but it looks huge squanched up on this tiny thing, so I’m calling it good.

‘Night.

teenage freerange


I had planned on doing absolutely nothing Sunday in celebration of Father’s Day, but I ended up going on a do-nothing bender and wasting the whole weekend on the couch. The iPod stayed on shuffle, and I napped when Keaton napped – it was pure bliss. Saturday night we pondered renting a movie, and ended up downloading a pirated cam-copy of the new “Knocked Up,” kinda like a parent’s night out – but in. Y’know, we’d’ve paid $10 to watch it on-demand, I think – if the cable and movie industry teamed up to do first-run in the home. Could be a viable business model for young parents, older folks, and the generally shut-in or social-phobic. Duh.

But anyway, Sunday morning I woke to Sharaun carrying Keaton into the room with a card in her hand. “Can you give the card to daddy?,” she asked, and Keaton dutifully handed it over. Then, I was asked what I’d like for breakfast (I requested banana-walnut pancakes, since I was asked), and it was whipped up for me while I got ready. Sounds nice, right? ‘Twas. So, let’s keep going.

Really enjoyed reading this short article online the other day, reminded me of all the roaming I used to do as a kid. Sometimes, when I recall to Sharaun some of the journeys my pre-teen friends and I underwent, she’s amazed that our parents let us be as freerange as we were. As pre-driving kids – we were borderline feral. We’d range across the town on foot and by bike, at all hours – sometimes with parental blessing, sometimes without. I don’t think the level of paranoia was there like it is today, and that was only eighteen or so years ago. I can remember being in 7th grade, which would make me about thirteen years old, riding our bikes from our sleepy little riverside burg over the the causeway onto “the island” – a long ride even by my adult brain’s standards today. Once there, we were far enough removed from our own stomping grounds to feel independent and important. Plus, there was a fireworks store there that not only flaunted Florida law by selling the good stuff (firecrackers, bottlerockets, etc.) out of small room in back, but that also had no qualms selling to kids, as long as the money was green. We’d ride the eight or so miles in the moist-furnace of Florida heat, stop at Wendys for a Frosty, pick up a bundle of ladyfingers from the secret stash in back (all you had to do was ask), and take them over to the mall across the street to light a run of ’em and toss ’em in the womens’ bathroom.

Sometimes when we’re home visiting Sharaun’s family and we drive over that causeway, I’ll look to the skinny little strip of paint-cordoned concrete on our right where we used to ride and wonder at not getting killed. Not only did we ride, we walked. I can remember, one day, having walked up to the store for kicks. While there, we’d sneakily swithed the stick-on pircetag (before UPC) from a cheap piece of beef jerky to cover the pricier tag of a “10ft beefstick,” effectively stealing it for pennies on the dollar. As we walked home, we split into groups of two on either side of the narrow lane, each holding (and occasionally gnawing on) one end of the massive meat-rope as we stretched it across the road. Seeing a car approaching in the distance, we waited until the last minute to yank our snack-slash-toy out of harm’s way. Turned out that, in that car was my dad. Here we were, four thirteen year old boys, miles from home and on foot, trying to clothesline automobiles with a few yards of spun beef – and my dad didn’t bat an eye. He slowed, said hello, and was on his way, allowing us to find whatever trouble we could as we trudged the remaining miles homeward. The independence that we felt was liberating, and allowed us to get mixed up in all sorts of shady goings-on – and I consider that independence as a key part of my youth.

Today, though, my initial tendency is to keep my kid close. I’m going to do my best, though, to afford her the freedom she’ll need to get the same kind of independent growth that my friends and I did (minus the beer, pyromania, and weed, of course).

Goodnight.