Category: general

Where I put something when I’m too lazy to categorize it.

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of snakes and snaking


Good evening blog-readin’ crew. Let’s just get right into it today…

Today on the way home from work, Sharaun called me to say that “something was stinky” in the guest bathroom. “OK,” I thought… as she walked in there, live on the phone, to investigate. “Oh no!,” she exclaimed, striking fear into my heart. I demanded anxiously, “What?!, What is it?” “There’s all sorts of food and gross stuff filling the bathtub in here! It looks like the kale from dinner last night that I put down the garbage disposal.” “OK,” I said… “I’ll look at it when I get there…”

Being that I have relatively little experience with plumbing, I called a couple buddies in that last mile home to pass the situation by them. Both consulted that I had a clogged pipe somewhere, to which I replied, “Well duh,” and asked how I could figure out a little more. Anthony suggested I watch the sewer cleanout outside the house, while running water in various locations in the house, to see if I could get an idea where the blockage was. Doing this, I decided that the blockage was between the kitchen sink and guest bathroom, to which I replied, in soliloquy, “Well duh.”

So, I motored up to Home Depot to rent one of those electric drain-snakes. I brought it home and tried snaking from the kitchen sink back towards the bathroom first, which didn’t work. I then went into the bathroom, braving the stench of the bathtub full of festering mangled foodstuffs, removed the overflow/cleanout cover, and snaked down that drain. After sinking twenty or so feet into the pipe, giving the thing a good whirl every few feet to break loose any clogs, the stagnant bathtub gurgled and sputtered, and the nasty water slowly began draining. After verifying the drain was clear, I cleaned up the gross bathtub with some Comet and called it a successful do-it-myself home repair job.

Nothing makes a man feel like a man like successfully solving some household problem. Now I’m all testosteroned and ready to punch bulls and chew nails. Oh, and, speaking of feeling “male” and being all “testosteroned,” yesterday marked the first day of my “Enzyte Challenge.” As such, I want to explain a little more about how I intend this to work.

Progress will be judged on a visual basis, using a graphic along the lines of the image below. The first Dave is the baseline Dave, and his X and Y proportions are tied, via some magical and secret percentage-math, to my real-life measured “data.” Growth/change is measured in two dimensions, and mapped (via those known-only-to-me factors) to the X/Y dimensions on the images. In other words, any subsequent Daves will have grown in the X/Y dimensions by any actual “growth” experienced by me. Here, just have a look at what I’m talking about…

I know the image above isn’t quite aligned, I just roughed it in to show what you’ll be seeing. I’m fairly confident, though, that I’ll never have to make a “grown” Dave overlay… as I expect the net results of the experiment to be precisely null. Anyway, let’s have fun with it.

And, for anyone wondering, the first day on Enzyte did have some notable moments. A few hours after taking the pill, I experienced a heated sensation in my face and limbs, and a mild red flush and “tightness” in my cheeks. The one “side effect” the pill lists is “transient flushing and a feeling of warmth,” both from the niacin contained, so I’m fairly certain that my experience was pill-caused. Finally, late last night I experienced this same warm feeling, but this time centralized in my nether-regions. Interesting… but without any hard data I’m not making any claims (pun half-intended).

Goodnight.

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thar she blows


Happy Monday friends. Me, I had a good weekend. Managed to do a fair amount of cleaning and organizing around the house and get in some good kickin’ it time with friends. Neither Sharaun nor I is feeling top-notch, both fighting something, and Keaton’s got “the croup,” according to the doc. So, we’ve hung a “Quarantined” sign on the door to ward away those of good-health from the little infirmary we have here.

Oh hey, before I forget, I finally got around to posting some pictures from our Christmas in Florida. You can check them out here.

Remember Friday when I wrote about the storms coming to sunny California? Yeah well, the storms came, and they beat upon our street with fists of wind and rain. The news, of course, covered the squall as if Al Queda was behind it, with unrelenting 24hr coverage and plenty of Johnny-on-the-spot reporters to give everything a nice local color. I don’t know when weather became cause for round-the-clock “death watch” reporting, but things have gone a tad far if you ask me. When I start seeing computer simulations of what “could” happen if the wind picked up to 900mph (just hypothetically), I change the channel. Anyway, back to those fists of wind and rain: In this fight the wind was Smokin’ Joe and our backyard fence was Ali. And, for those confused by pugilistic allegory, here’s some visual aides for that last sentence:

Yeah, it totally blew down, about ~30ft of it, posts snapped clean off at the dirt (where I suspect they had already rotted a good deal). I actually tried, during the fiercest winds while the fence was wobbling fiercely but still holding onto the ground, to go tie some guy-lines to the posts in the most trouble. The wind was so strong, however, that I couldn’t even use the nylon strap to right the tilting thing, pulling with all my might and using my weight, I was nearly lifted off the ground trying to wrestle what had essentially then become a huge wooden sail. I mean, look at the toppled BBQ Anthony and I built in the foreground there, that thing ain’t light. After that, I gave up and just let the thing go down. The tall shrubs we have on the other side of the fence were all that kept it from blowing away completely.

Oh, that last pic? That’s what I did to save another wind-wobbly section of fence. See that tie-rope? It’s secured to an old gas grill I happened to have laying around in the backyard, and, while the wind was strong enough to drag the grill across the lawn, it couldn’t quite manage to pull it over the retaining wall. I know it’s ghetto engineering, but it worked. I’m sure the first caveman-graven wheel wasn’t quite a Michelin, either.

I was going to write some more… but I just don’t have it in me. I’m gonna bake some cookies and listen to some new albums instead. Goodnight lovers.

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here goes two-thousand and eight


Hey readers, sounds familiar is happy to welcome you to the Year of Our Lord two-thousand and eight. Rang in the year with friends at bang-up of a New Year’s fête, where I was able to have a grand time despite being the responsible non-drinking parent. And now I’m once again dreading a return to work… It’s gonna be a short one tonight, as I don’t have much to write and don’t much feel like writing anyway.

We went to dinner at our neighbor’s tonight. Filipino, they set a table that could feed a small village. (Not that that’s somehow indicative of the culture or anything, I just wanted to state the two pieces of information in one sentence.) All the major meat groups had representation: pork, turkey, beef, chicken; the vegetables and fruits were out in force; and there were multiple sweet finishes. After dinner, the spirits were brought out and I had a nice tall glass of mixed coconut, jackfruit, apple juice, and Filipino rum. It was a great couple hours of talking, and Keaton had fun playing around with their daughter, who’s just a bit younger. We had a good time and left with full bellies. Four plus years in the house and we’re just now getting to know our neighbors; where are the Leave It To Beaver block parties of the 1950s?

Oh man, the Kill Bill duet is on right now, I’d forgotten just how amazing these movies are… I’m totally gonna go watch them instead of stupid blogging.

Oh, and before going, I know I’ve been somewhat delinquent on updating Keaton’s photos page, so I’ll try and get some of the Christmas in Florida stuff up early this week, and maybe a “catch up” gallery to cover the various things I missed near the sloppily-covered end of 2007. Stick with me, I’ll make it worth it if I can.

Goodnight.

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been busy


Been busy. Been really busy.

Play with Keaton. Write a blog. Work. Listen to that new album. Play with Keaton. Kiss Sharaun. Write another blog. Work a little on my screenplay. Play with Keaton. Mail some packages. Do some PowerPoint (work). Feed the cat. Take a shower. Pack a suitcase. Do some laundry. Refill prescriptions. Play with Keaton. Kiss Sharaun. Write another blog.

Been busy.

Monday was a rainy day in sunny California. A cold, grey, rainy day that started sometime in the night when the sound of it in the drainpipe woke me up. Having just the day before turned reluctantly turned on the automatic drip system to the wheat for want of precipitation, I actually hauled myself out of bed in the middle of the night and went into the garage to turn it right back off as the drop drummed on the roof – high-stepping across the concrete garage floor in bare feet like it was a frozen lake. The wheat project, I’m afraid to report, seems to have stalled significantly (another reason why I turned on the irrigation, however briefly). The wheat sprouted, looked to be taking off, and then stalled at about a foot high, where it’s been now for over a month. I’m not too familiar with the growing cycle of winter wheat, but I doubt there’s a massive stalling period at a foot… Who knows what’ll happen there, guess I’ll have to wait and see.

The wooden bar in our closet fell off its little holders the other day, sending unknown pounds of clothing to the ground in crumpled lumps. Ironically, everything’s still on the hangers, snug on the rod, which know lays askew, pointed at the sky through a bunch of hangers stuck in the pile of clothes on the ground. Sharaun said it made a loud noise when it happened, scared her. I was out of town, so I don’t know. I do know that I was here all weekend, and even took Monday off, and I didn’t touch the massive heap that’s spilling out the opened door into our bedroom hallway. I kept telling myself that, while Keaton napped one day, I’d go in there and clean it all up, re-hang the bar, and have it back to normal for when Sharaun got home. But, I never did. As much as I bug Sharaun for not getting “enough done” during the days when I’m at work, I kinda realize how hard it is to be motivated to do work during the short few hours where you can actually get some rest. Empathy… I know thee.

Well, I’m off. On the plus side, I managed to finish off my year-end “best albums” list in addition to this entry tonight, and now all I have to do is format it up and set it to magically auto-publish at midnight Friday. I know the interweb is just wet with anticipation. Goodnight.

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happy thanksgiving!


Happy Thanksgiving y’allz! We woke up early today, and spent the morning waiting around for the cast of Sesame Street to show up on the Macy’s parade (for Keaton, you know). After that, Sharaun and I took Keaton down to play on the little playground near here, and we kicked back family-style and watched a movie while she took her afternoon nap. And now, we’ve just finished our early-afternoon repast. Paying homage to the escapists whom we credit with kicking off the grand tradition. Turkey and dressing, with sweet berry-relish things should your tastes run that way (most most definitely do not). Sweet-potatoes and green beans. Fresh bread and gravy atop it all. And that’s not even dessert. Yeah, it was a good meal.

Oh, and, I wrote a whole lot about buying a new iPod… but I decided to make that an entry of its own. You can read it here (or just below), and that way we keep this entry nice and simple. Y’know, stick to a theme…

Happy Thanksgiving friends!

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the hug voyeur


Still rainy and cold in Oregon, melancholy. I was supposed to do something with my brother last night, but he called and bailed after work. So, I stuck around my folks’ place and made a sandwich and a bowl of soup for dinner. A glamorous evening it was not. I thought about maybe going to see a movie, I’ve never gone to a movie by myself… could’ve been an interesting experience. But, in the end, I sat there on the couch with this laptop on my knee, oscillating between dozing and waking while the Grateful Dead station on Sirius played in the background.

Woke before the sun this morning to venture out into the frigid pre-morning and ride the train to the airport with my mom. And, after meeting up with Sharaun and Keaton, we hopped right back on for the reverse trip. Getting to the airport about a half and hour early, however, we had some time to sit around in the lounge area where people await their arriving friends and relatives. Sitting there, I found myself smiling as people leapt up to greet those coming from the terminal. Grandfathers beamed as little kids ran up to them, hugging their legs before being swept up into their arms. Fathers gripped and snatched up children two at a time. People whose faces said they may have been sisters shrieked and hugged while commenting on new haircuts and how good it was to see one another. It truly was a fun thing to sit and watch. Got me thinking, in fact, that someone could make a great short film of holiday airport receptions. Also got me thinking, I should totally do it. All you need to be a filmmaker these days is a camera and a PC anyway…

Movie or not, I decided that, if and when I ever become a solitary old man whose filled with bitterness, I’ll remedy the situation by going down the airport on the day before Thanksgiving, or Christmas Eve, and watching friends and family reunite. It really is a remedy for the I-me-mine mentality.

And… before I leave you. GetReligion, one of the best religion-focused blogs on the ‘net, has an interesting and well-rounded article on some recent changes made to the introduction to the Book of Mormon. I’ve been somewhat critical of the Latter Day Saints here on sounds familiar before, but this article is pretty well balanced. Read it up if you’re still hankering for some more writin’.

Until tomorrow, I hope you get safely where you’re going and into the arms of who you’ll be with this Thanksgiving. Peace.

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should be a good week


It’s right cold here in Oregon, at least to someone who’s been enjoying unseasonable warmth in his own locality (y’know, that’s me I’m talking about). I arrived today and caught the train from the airport towards work, intending on catching the van at the end of the train which would take me the final miles to the local sawmill.

Turns out, through a miscalculation on my part, I had timed the whole domino of travel just wrong enough that I missed the last van, and had no way to make the final push to the cubicle farm. Instead, I got off the train near my folks’ place and began looking for a kind soul to give me a ride. When this fell through, and when the warm and dry comfort of my folks’ pace soaked into my bones, I decided I could do just as much in the remaining half of the day from the kitchen table with my computer and cellphone than I could at the office. And so, I waffled between the couch and table, watching the scant few e-mails trickle in – the holiday this week seems to have slowed things considerably.

Anyway, I’ll rise early tomorrow and dress warm so I can actually make my way into the office and get some things done. Sharaun and Keaton get here Wednesday, we’ll celebrate like Pilgrims and Indians makem-good-treaty on Thursday, and then fly home together Friday. It’s a quick trip, but it’ll be a good time to hang out. Oh, and, on Wednesday night we’re all (the young’ns, at least) going to see the Band of Horses play in downtown Portland. Should be fun, I haven’t been to a show here before, and haven’t been to one in general in a few months. Should be a good week… should be a good week.

I wore the jacket Sharaun got me last Christmas today, as I knew it would be cold in Oregon and it was somewhat chilly driving to the airport at 5am. It’s one of those sportscoat kinda things that people wear with jeans, but cut nice and a little fancy with its pinstripes on brown – I think the “real” word for it might be “blazer.” In fact, maybe you can tell me, as the post-accompanying image this day ’round is an ad featuring the exact jacket. Regardless of nomenclature, I’ve always wanted a “nicer” coat like that, and I only got to wear it a few times last year before the weather turned warm again. Today, I threw it on over some jeans, with some brown shoes and a lighter brown shirt underneath. Quite proud of what I’d done, I caught myself jamming my hands in my pockets, head down and slightly cocked as if there was a photographer rolling film while I waited in the security line at the airport.

With my little carry-on and laptop bag, and my iPod tucked safely in the inner breast pocket, I felt seriously dapper. Truth be told, the jacket is probably a bit mis-sized for me, as most bulk-made, three-sizes only, items tend to be, but I still feel like a million bucks in it. I know it’s a $100, somewhat ill-fitting, sweatshop-made thing, but when I put it on I feel mature, I feel established, I feel business. Funny, given how little I care about clothes. I’m gonna wear that thing out this week, so I’ll let you know if I get more phone numbers than I normally do, or perhaps more “sirs” when being spoken to. I’m sure I will, because… I mean… I’m wearing a damn blazer with jeans, people. It’s doesn’t get more haute couture than that, right?

Goodnight.